When is enough, enough?

[BriOnH]

I am in the middle of my 3rd month off cold turkey. I tapered for a whole week, so I am going to assume its pretty much cold turkey.

Last time I made it 5 months, but I wish I would have known then what I know now. After a super bad day at the ER from having muscle trembling I went back on that night.

How can i believe the symptoms I am having will disappear at any point off of paxil? I mean the stuff I am experiencing today is EXACTLY like when I first got anxiety disorder. Not being able to work or exercise too! I mean serisouly, is Paxil really that bad if you need it to live a semi normal life? I NEED insulin, i cant live without that. Why is it so hard to believe its not like this with people that have severe Anxiety / OCD / Depression ? Other people I know that have bi-polar and schitzophrenia could NEVER function normally without there meds. Going back on Paxil, and being able to work and exercise sounds pretty darn good right now. the only reason I quit paxil is because orgasms sucked in comparison to being off it. Right now that really does not sound like a bad trade off!
-Brian

[Delynbetter]

There has to be some other alternative. The damage that Paxil can do to the body is scary enough. The fact that this drug had THIS much control over my body and brain scares the hell out of me. The fact that I was worse coming off the medication than before I started is cause for investigation. The fact that I do have good days, even though they are spotted with really bad days, is reason enough for me not to go back on. Coming off the medication was hell. Being on the medication was numb, unfulfilling. I missed so much pleasure during this past year - the holidays, the birthdays, just watching my kids grow and participate in their lives - I will never forgive Paxil for that.

Yes, it did get me through a time where I truly thought my head was going to explode because life was too much for me to handle, but I shouldn't have gone for the quick fix without having a clue. I wish I knew then what I know now. I'm afraid to find out what permanent damage has been done to me.

I am lucky to be a stubborn ol' bitty. I have my really bad days where I don't think I can and/or don't want to continue living this type of life. Yet, I refuse to go back on something that has way more control over my body than I do. I would rather live and feel my life, even at its worst, than live the rest of my life oblivious to anything going on around me. I have 3 great kids and I've already pretty much missed a year of their lives...and they've missed me. PLUS, the trauma my kids went through watching me go through my original cold turkey withdrawal is more than they should have witnessed at their young ages.

Back to my original opinion, there HAS to be some other alternative. I hope you can find one ASAP. Don't miss your life.

[elisa]

I was diagnosed with major depression that turned into a 'chronic' one because these meds didn't help me for my mood. Additionally, I experienced numerous side-effects while on them that didn't go away.

I was told that I needed to take these meds for life like a diabetic needs insulin. B*ll!! That's just a theory and not science. I'm almost done with my extremely low tapering and am doing a LOT better than while on the meds.

What really helped me is talk theray. A non-drug therapy doesn't have any side-effects (other than dealing with the issues that brought one to start taking these meds) and lasts for a lifetime.

There are no quick fix chemical cures for the mind, not even for people with schzophrenia and bi-polar. I know all this because I've seen it all by having been in the "mental health" system for 10 years. Additionally, my X was diagnosed with schizophrenia in 1978 and is taking meds. It puts the "things" just in the background, they're still there....

[seahorse18]

The drug companies just love to hype the connection between diabetics needing to take insulin and people labeled with bipolar, schizophrenia, "severe" depression, etc. "needing" to take medication. The problem is that while diabetes can be absolutely measured through medical tests, the same cannot be said for "mental illness". Also, the fact is that some diabetics must take insulin, while many control their illness through diet and exercise alone.

I realize that it is tempting to just take a pill and think life can be more manageable, even perfect. I did that for many, many years. Unfortunately, my life simply ended after a while because I felt much worse on the pills. I lived under the illusion of "better days" through the ultimate pill that was going to fix me, but those days never came for me. I sincerely believe, despite numerous idiotic labels dumped on me by ignorant doctors, that my life would have ended -literally- had I continued on this foolish path.

[scotty]

Just to clarify, I believe that BriOnH IS saying that he is a diabetic. Now that said I don't believe that you can compare insulin to ssri's.One is treated a well researched, well documented disease process that is measureable by the patient for good control. BriOnH, you are the only one in control of what you do. You are now totally informed about what paxil can do. I think if I was reading here my biggest concern would be the paxil "poop out" factor. It's well documented by many and not researched by anyone. Long term use of paxil is a crap shoot at best.

[Delynbetter]

Just a little drop about the effects of Paxil on the liver directly...

[rdjanis]

Originally Posted by BriOnH

How can i believe the symptoms I am having will disappear at any point off of paxil? I mean the stuff I am experiencing today is EXACTLY like when I first got anxiety disorder. Not being able to work or exercise too! I mean serisouly, is Paxil really that bad if you need it to live a semi normal life?
-Brian

1. If much effort was put into therapy to learn your triggers for anxiety and how to deal with them.... medication would not need to be considered. If you have tried in the past and was not successful, try a new therapist. There is no need to have to trade off sex and emotions in order to deal with the anxiety. The medication is a quick fix, and you could very possibly be wishing you had gone the therapy route if paxil poops out on you.

2. Cold turkey withdrawal is the most difficult. It does mimic your anxiety disorder but the symptoms are worse. You are not giving yourself a chance to get through the withdrawal.

3. Paxil and insulin are not comparable.

[rc1904]

I never even had anxiety until I went through cold turkey paxil withdrawal. After almost 2 months of constant withdrawal, I was doing pretty well. Then, at 5 1/2 months I got hit with some awful depression for a couple of weeks (a common experience). It went away and now at almost 8 months paxil free, I'm feeling pretty good. This withdrawal process can take a long time and it actually CAUSES some of the anxiety and depression that many people end up trying to erase by going back on paxil again. It can be a vicious cycle. I'm glad I've stuck to the advice I got here and waited it out when I wasn't feeling well.

[Scott]

you were on it for 7-8 years.. you tapered too fast.. if you really want to be free you have to be patient unfortunately and wait for it to get better.. it works because real people have come here and made this post you just made and months later have recovered. I'm still working on getting better but you can damn well believe i'm never going back to the numb, fat version of myself that lived in an alternate reality and was spiritually dead. Forget that..