Help for Depression

[Casey1231]

Since so many of us struggle with depression, I thought it might be wise to list the ten most common forms of cognitive distortions laid out by Dr. David Burns in his CBT bible "The Feeling Good Handbook". I apologize if this has already been posted but I think it's good for everyone to have.

Without further ado, here are 10 forms of twisted thinking that you should watch out for:

(1) All-or-nothing thinking. "You see things in black-or-white categories. If a situation falls short of perfect, you see it as a total failure." Engaging in this sort of thinking will often lead to the failure of long-term projects; when results don't roll in right away, you feel completely discouraged.


(2) Discounting the positive. "You reject positive experiences by insisting they 'don't count'." This form of twisted thinking "takes the joy out of life and makes you feel inadequate and unrewarded."


(3) Emotional reasoning. "You assume that your negative emotions necessarily reflect the way things really are." A good example of line of reasoning would be something like, 'I feel so worthless. I must have nothing to offer to those around me.'


(4) Jumping to conclusions. "You interpret things negatively when there are no facts to support your conclusion." This form of twisted thinking can be further broken down into mind reading ("without checking it out, you arbitrarily conclude that someone is reacting negatively to you") and fortune-telling ("predicting that things will turn out badly" when you in fact have no evidence to support such pessimism).


(5) Magnification. "You exaggerate the importance of your problems and shortcomings", and/or you "minimize the importance of your desirable qualities". Thus your flaws become food for obsession.


(6) Mental filter. "You pick out a single negative detail and dwell on it exclusively, so that your vision of all of reality becomes darkened, like the drop of ink that discolors a beaker of water." For example, twenty people compliment you on something and one person has a negative opinion of it; that negative opinion is what you keep coming back to.


(7) Overgeneralization. "You see a single negative event... as a never ending pattern of defeat by using words such as 'always' or 'never' when you think about it." For example, when I experience a depressive episode, I will often end up thinking that it will never end, that I will always be feeling this way.


And then there are the ones that I have come to think of as 'The Big Three'.


( Labeling. An extreme form of #1 above. "Instead of saying 'I made a mistake,' you attach a negative label to yourself: 'I'm a loser.'... Labeling is quite irrational because you are not the same as what you do. Human beings exist, but 'fools', 'losers', and 'jerks' do not. These labels are just useless abstractions that lead to anger, anxiety, frustration, and low self-esteem. You may also label others..."


' (9) Should' Statements. "You tell yourself that things should be the way you hoped or expected them to be... 'Musts', 'oughts', and 'have tos' are similar... "Should Statements" that are directed against yourself lead to guilt and frustration. Should statements that are directed against other people or the world in general lead to anger and frustration... Many people try to motivate themselves with shoulds and shouldn'ts, as if they were delinquents who had to be punished... all these shoulds and musts make you feel rebellious and you get the urge to do just the opposite... Dr. Albert Ellis has called this 'musterbation'."


(10) Personalization and blame. "Personalization occurs when you hold yourself personally responsible for an event that isn't entirely under your control... leads to guilt, shame and feelings of inadequacy. Some people do the opposite, They blame other people for their problems, and they overlook ways that they might be contributing to the problem... other people will resent being scapegoated and they will just toss the blame right back... It's like the game of hot potato-- no one wants to get stuck with it."

[Blue]

I guess when you are doing these things you have a hard time recognizing that that is what is making you have bad feelings inside.

Thank you for posting that. Im guilty of every one of the ten things. And Im not kidding. They all lead to an awful crash when they all come together.

[CELESTEP]

I am on the verge of tears right now. I am having a bout of depression. It scares the daylights out of me...I am experieincing #7 - I am having those feelings/thoughts that this is never going to end.

To be honest, it's been so long that it never really did end. For me this is worse than anxiety. What I read here on the site is that is just goes on and on even after we are done weaning. I am at a loss here. What is it that I need to be doing or not doing to get it together?

[babs]

Thanks for posting those, Casey. I regularly do all of them.

Celeste ... I used to ask myself that ALL the time in withdrawal. I felt like there had to be something I could DO to bring myself out of it .. heck I still feel the same way now if I have an episode of depression. I came to the conclusion that to a great extent, withdrawal depression and anxiety are out of our control .. our chemicals have gone haywire and have to correct themselves over time, and all you can do is take the best care of yourself you can while waiting it out. I drove myself crazy trying to find "the answer" when there was none. It WILL get better, but you have to be patient. Of course it's good to think positively and gain insight about yourself, but don't beat yourself up if those don't work .. it's not you, it's with withdrawal.

[Cayte]

Yes I agree so much Babs in what you..and the rest are saying.
But, I've now started thinking...I'm middle aged, I have 3 daughters and a husband. What if for whatever reason I were to be killed next week....has this struggle really been worth all this pain I am inflicting upon myself, and my family.
What sort of a memory would they have of me?

[Cayte]

Oh I know that sounds so negative. I am desperately trying to lift myself from this pit of depression..but I haven't got the skills at the moment.
I will persevere though.
Hugs to you all.

[babs]

The way I looked at it is, what other choice do I have? Meds don't work forever. You can't just keep going back on or switching around. All that does is buy you some time, if you're lucky. At some point the body has had enough, and that's that. Then all you can do is get through the withdrawal and try to address the issues that brought you to the med in the first place. There's no magic pill. It's a huge letdown to realize that, and goes against what we've been told by our doctors and society, but it's something we all need to face. I hope I don't sound unsympathetic ... I've suffered as much as anybody, and I'd be the first one to take a wonder pill if such a thing existed. But I no longer believe that it does.

[Chrysalis]

Thanks for posting that list, Casey. Very interesting.

Though I may engage in short bouts of several of them, I don't think I do most of them on a regular basis, unless it would be #9, "should, must, ought to".

But I do know people who regularly engage in all or most of those things....and I see how terribly it drags them down.

Margaret

[Cayte]

No Babs I know it doesn't exist...I guess that is maybe the hardest part of all this. There is no going back to the thin promise offered us.
Take care yourself.

[CELESTEP]

Casey...first of all thank you. I will call you and thanks so much for offering.

Babs.....I really like the idea of a "wonder pill" I could use one right about now. You said that we (you) were looking for answers but there were none because it is out of our control. Maybe that is the scary part a loss of control.
Cayte.....I have gone thru w/d from paxil and now I am doing it again "alone".
You hae three daughters and a husband and it still doesn't make is any easier. I thought it would if there was some type of safety net of comfort from loved ones. Love you guys....

[safarigal]

Dr David Burns writes the best self-help books Keep on reading!!

[akaenew]

Originally Posted by babs806

I came to the conclusion that to a great extent, withdrawal depression and anxiety are out of our control .. our chemicals have gone haywire and have to correct themselves over time, and all you can do is take the best care of yourself you can while waiting it out...... It's not you, it's with withdrawal.

I very much agree with Babs. I am going to therapy and gaining alot of insight into myself. I feel that it is very effective. But I also believe that much of withdrawal is out of our control. We have to wait and it is very, very difficult to be patient. I just don't believe you can think/talk your way out of active withdrawal. akaenew

[akaenew]

Originally Posted by CELESTEP

You hae three daughters and a husband and it still doesn't make is any easier. I thought it would if there was some type of safety net of comfort from loved ones.

Celeste- my husband and sons have been with me every step of the way to make sure I was safe. It often conjured up the image of dolphins in my mind, carrying the sick one up to the surface of the water for oxygen. But the deep misery of anxiety, depression, paranoia and depersonalization I have pretty much endured on my own. I am not ungrateful to them. I am just trying to say that this is the worst experience ever, whether there is someone else in your life or not. I'm not certain it makes it easier- just safer. akaenew

[Cayte]

Originally Posted by CELESTEP

Cayte.....I have gone thru w/d from paxil and now I am doing it again "alone".
You hae three daughters and a husband and it still doesn't make is any easier. I thought it would if there was some type of safety net of comfort from loved ones. Love you guys....

Sometimes this so called safety net has had enough of you and your "withdrawal problems". Then you can feel very alone.
Like we have said so many times, it's really only people on here who truly understand.
Bless you all.