my dad refuses to believe that i'm not willingly acting this way

[rsflores9]

for a few years, i have been very distant towards my family, and my doctor said it was just a symptom of my depression and borderline personality disorder.

my dad refuses to believe this, and says i am just selfish, and has pretty much written me off, and tells everyone in the family that he has "failed" with me and that i am just selfish and have a one track mind.

how can i convince him that it's not my choice to shut people out this way, and that i'm really trying to work through this?

[LCrawford67]

Welcome to paxilprogress!

Are you seeking therapy to help you with this?

[rsflores9]

no, i do not have health insurance, so i'm currently suffering from withdrawal because i haven't been able to afford to see a doctor or get medication.

[LCrawford67]

Ok, so were you on Paxil then? Give us a little more information regarding dose and how long you were on medication.

[rsflores9]

i was on paxil for 6 months, and due to not being able to afford seeing a doctor, i had to stop taking them. i was on a 30mg dose

i really just want to know how to let my dad know i'm not just trying to be this way, depressed and withdrawn, but he thinks i am doing this on purpose to spite him.

[Songbird]

Originally Posted by rsflores9

my dad refuses to believe this, and says i am just selfish, and has pretty much written me off, and tells everyone in the family that he has "failed" with me and that i am just selfish and have a one track mind.

This is very sad. I don't know how you could get your dad to believe you, you can't change other people, you can only change yourself, and if he is not willing to be open-minded there is not much you can do. Maybe you could write him a letter explaining how you feel, and how it affects you when he speaks this way about you. If you can't afford therapy, maybe you could get some self-help books out of the library. I would recommend anything by Susan Jeffers and Louise Hay. Also, CBT books such as those by David Burns.

[lauren]

I agree with SongBird. I definitely think you should write down how you feel and try to explain things to your dad. Many people get angry and frustrated because they do not understand. I went through something similar with my husband. He was withdrawn and quiet during his depression. I didn't understand depression because I had never had that. I called him selfish and took out my frustrations on him; I even belittled him for feeling a way he couldn't help. Sad to say, it took a very long year of being alone with my thoughts to FINALLY get to the point where I could put myself in his shoes. It's a hard lesson to learn, but if there is anything you could do to help your father, and other family members, try to understand what you are going through, it would be a tremendous help to you. I hope everything works out for you.

[Charlie]

Do you have a free county health clinic where you are? How long have you been off Paxil?

[jule1]

I feel like this is a daily challenge that I think everyone on here faces. I think it makes you a stronger person to stand true to what you believe when so many (the majority) are telling you it's all in your head. People just aren't educated about this sort of thing.

[anjopom]

RS,

I really feel for you as I have been in your shoes too, but with family , "normal" people just dont get how badly we are affected by these drugs, and you did c/t 30mg paxil through no fault of your own, so i understand how and what you are feeling. Its not their fault, even the doctors are ill informed about w/d, and c/t w/d is harder - i know i did it, and had to reinstate.

These people who do not understand simply think we are looking for attention, being selfish and not considering others, i know ive heard it all.

Can you get your dad to come and read here?
Maybe, show him the responses to your post?

I wish i could help more.