I've almost made it?

Three years ago the panic attacks hit me, and I went to my doctor. I explained what I felt and he said I was having panic attacks, and he had the cure... Paxil. I was at the point I was scared to death of the next attack so I said ok. This spring I went out of town and ran out of pills. In only two days I felt like had lost control. The third day I drove home to my Paxil, however, I really do not remember the drive.

I was on 20mg a day, and decided I was going to cut back to 10. This wasn't too bad. The usual effects, light headed, confused, unable to focus for very long. I went to my Doc, and told him I wanted off. He told me to cut back to 5mg after 10 more days on 10mg. Go with 5mg for a week, and then I will be done. This cutback really increased the withdrawls. After about two days, I was so dizzy I was barely able to get to work. At night it was the worst. I would sit on the couch and stare at the ceiling fan and wish it would stop(dizzyness). Three days after the last pill, the flashes in my head started. Wow, those really sucked. I thought I was having a stroke, because sometimes it almost dropped me to my knees.

So that was my life for a couple of weeks. I called my Doctor, and he assured me it only lasted 7 to 14 days. The third week was a little better with the shocks and dizziness but now I felt sick to my stomach, I had no patience at all, and for no reason I would start crying like a baby. One night my dog would not leave me alone so I popped him on the head, and within a minute I was crying because I had done this. I found I had to really control myself around my dogs. I came really close to losing it a couple of times. What if I had a child in the house?

I just started my 4th week saturday and it looks like I might make it. However, if I work out I get dizzy now. And in the mornings I find my self a little spacy and dizzy. Throughout the day I get small spells of dizzyness, but the nausea is still here. But on the good side those 25 pounds I gained since I started Paxil are coming off, I find that I am awake all day now, and I find myself wanting to do stuff now(during Paxil I was so happy to just shut myself off from the world and saty at home).

I hope this little (ok long) story helps someone, and give them hope. I also hope in a couple of weeks I am back to my self without withdrawls.

[Cindy]

Hey almost-there...

Congratulations on getting where you are right now. ..I totally understand your question mark in regards to "making it". This is a very "scary process". I also took paxil because of "panic attacks...or disorder"...and I had been on it for more than five years. I have been "paxil free" since August 13th...taking just over a month to go from 30 mg. And this last weekend was the first two days in a row that I sincerely felt like "I just might make it through all of these withdrawal symptoms in one piece". Of course this morning at about 10:00...I again got that general "panicky feeling"...and the spaced out fog...and a bit of dizziness...and I thought "Oh No"! But it didn't last...not like it used to.

And God, am I feeling things right now as well...I can't believe some of the rage that erupts just out of the "blue". I am not an "angry" confrontational" person...but there is definitely a lot of anger inside of me that hasn't been expresssed in the last five years.

I find it is very important that I eat well right now...and that I eat three meals a day...or even more of a smaller amount...I think it is important that I keep my blood sugar up. And I am trying to do my yoga...

I still don't want to run outside and go shopping...but for the first time in about 6 weeks I actually feel as if I might get back into the thick of things...I have missed a lot of living through this summer...but then I don't think I have been totally right since my doctor bumped my dose up to 30 mg in January of this year.

Anyway, I just wanted to say congratulations and keep us posted.

Blessings from Cindy [/img]

[Cindy]

I also wanted to say that I am definitely sleeping less and I am much more awake now also...it's amazing how much this little drug made me lose my motivation for life...and caused me to sleep 14 hours a day!

Cindy

Thanks Cindy. Today was a little bit of a relapse. I have felt sick to my stomach all day and light headed. But, I know maybe tomorrow will be better. And on the slepping thing, I had not realized home tired I was all the time until the last few weeks. I would sleep in to 12:00 or 1:00 in the afternoon and everday I would struggle to stay awake at work. Now, 7 -8 hours of sleep seem to do me just fine.

The fact that I am still dizzy from time to time worries me, but I know it is probably from the withdrawls. Something else I have noticed is my pulse has dropped, sitting pulse was like 90 to 100. Now it seems to be more normal.