happy birthday to me

[Paxil Junkie]

feeling like hell, no life, sitting on the computer all day, no presents or plans, just another ordinary ****ty day, like last year... celebrating 20 years of hell... happy birthday to me

Steve,

Happy Birthday. Try not to be so sad

I have a suggestion for you -- after reading many of your posts....

Why don't you volunteer at an organization? I see you are in NY -- are you in the city? I have a friend who, after his TERRIBLE depressive episode, got out there an volunteered...first, just 5 hours a day for 2 days a a week...nothing stressful, nothing too overwhelming....got him out of the house. Then, they liked him so much, they asked him to come in more -- then they hired him! And he has been there almost 7 years and is doing well! Volunteering will get you out of your house and will give you confidence, plus you will be learning some skills and there is no pressure to stay if it's not for you. Typically people at charitable or nonprofit organizations are much more laid back and very, very nice -- they CHOOSE to help a cause rather than make a zillio dollars. Why don't you volunteer to help with an events department of a Multiple Sclerosis or Cancer Society --they are always organizng walks or galas and need help. Or do you like animals...what about volunteering to help at at your local humane society.
You will gain confidence, meet new people and I bet is will get you Mom off of your case...think about it...you will be too busy to have time to sit and think about all of the hard/negative things going on....

[Paxil Junkie]

i balrey have energy to get out of bed in the morning, then of course theres the social anxiety thats kept my out of school for goin on 6 years... and then of course theres the dehibilitating paxil withdrawls that make me feel like im dieing or going to throw up if i move , and then theres my lack of motivation, desire or my lazyness.

I'm trying not to be sad but its a lost cause... i have no life as it is now, I'll be even more depressed if my entire life is work even if i do have no time to think about being depressed i'll have no time to think about anything fun just work, which for me isn't much of a better life, especially if i'm not getting paid.

[safarigal]

If you choose to be miserable, you will be miserable.

All kinds of drugs make for misery. Try and get clean of all drugs. A healthy body means a healthy mind. Just like this paxil, it's poision to our bodies, and our brain. And so is other drugs, even pot. As the saying goes, 'No one can help us, unless we choose to help ourselves first.' Happy Late Birthday.

Steve, happy birthday; this too shall pass. There is a reason for everything and one day you will know why you have had to bear all of this. Keep your chin up and know that hope is always there.

Sandra

[Paxil Junkie]

thank u for all ur kind words and maybe the sad truth is i dont want to be happy, i must not if i dont want to do anything to be happy... what good is getting off paxil if all im going to do while im getting off it and probably after i get off of it is sit at home on the computer, the same thing iv been doing for over 6 years now....