Can this person get off of Paxil?!!

[BA_8]

I recently met a wonderful person, and this person is taking Paxil. He started taking it about a year and a half ago. He took it because he was under way too much stress from college. He barely had a social life since he is known as to be a book boy. His psychiatrist recently told him that the only solution to your problems is to get married, to change your social life, and to look at life in a positive perspective. He wants to get married to me...but I don't know how far I can go with this situation if he keeps taking Paxil. I am worried that I will be a victim of his medication; therefore, he may put me through physical harm or emotional as well. His doctor said that he is not bipolar and he is not aggressive either and he doesn't have any suicidal thoughts (but how can I be sure!?). He does have anxiety... He does have OCD and he seeks to be a perfectionist in everything (from being a perfect brother, perfect son, perfect student, and probably a perfect husband). He is going to med school, but I don't even know if he is stable enough for it or if he can even handle the stress of med school without his medication. He is taking 40 mg of Paxil and his psychiatrist said that his dose may be reduced with time. I personally asked my family doctor and she told me not to risk my life with a person taking 40 mg of Paxil because that means he was in a MAJOR depression phase and that he will never get off of it, no matter how hard he tries. EVEN if he is off of it, I can't see his reactions or how he will react to stress or how is he even a NORMAL person without that medication.....So, even if he is off of it, will he have to take another type of medication? or will I be a victim if something does happen to us?

[Insomniac]

You said you met him recently, my advice is, since you like this guy very much to give him a chance as a boyfriend, just casual dating first, no serious strings attached... And then after some time you'll see how both of you function as a couple. Just my 2c.

[scotty]

Originally Posted by BA_8

His psychiatrist recently told him that the only solution to your problems is to get married, to change your social life, and to look at life in a positive perspective.

I would be running from the information given above, more than the paxil use! I can't imagine marrying someone because they were told to get married by their psychiatrist...that's just nuts.

Now, if you love this guy the paxil use need to be a factor in moving forward. Are you prepared to take on a withdrawal situation in the future? or med changes, which will inevitably come down the line?

Are you willing to live a life with a super perfectionist?

These are all things you have to think about.

[NoRx4me]

Originally Posted by BA_8

I am worried that I will be a victim of his medication; therefore, he may put me through physical harm or emotional as well. His doctor said that he is not bipolar and he is not aggressive either and he doesn't have any suicidal thoughts (but how can I be sure!?). He does have anxiety... He does have OCD and he seeks to be a perfectionist in everything (from being a perfect brother, perfect son, perfect student, and probably a perfect husband). He is going to med school, but I don't even know if he is stable enough for it or if he can even handle the stress of med school without his medication. He is taking 40 mg of Paxil and his psychiatrist said that his dose may be reduced with time. I personally asked my family doctor and she told me not to risk my life with a person taking 40 mg of Paxil because that means he was in a MAJOR depression phase and that he will never get off of it, no matter how hard he tries. EVEN if he is off of it, I can't see his reactions or how he will react to stress or how is he even a NORMAL person without that medication.....So, even if he is off of it, will he have to take another type of medication? or will I be a victim if something does happen to us?

Why would you be worried that he will physically harm you? Is this because you have read a lot about Paxil or has something happened already that concerns you?

It sounds like you are concerned about very legitimate things and I wouldn't take your relationship any further with all those concerns.

However, I find it very odd that your doctor would "diagnose" him and say he could never get off meds. There are many people here off meds that have been diagnosed with all kinds of "mental illnesses" that turned out not to have them or ended up only needing to make lifestyle changes to handle their anxiety or sadness, better.

In my opinion, anyone can live a normal life without medication. They may need to learn new skills for handling stress, etc. but No one NEEDS this poison.

[babs]

Originally Posted by NoRx4me

There are many people here off meds that have been diagnosed with all kinds of "mental illnesses" that turned out not to have them or ended up only needing to make lifestyle changes to handle their anxiety or sadness, better.

In my opinion, anyone can live a normal life without medication. They may need to learn new skills for handling stress, etc. but No one NEEDS this poison.

Yeah I think both your doctors are kind of whack. There are SO many people on antidepressants in this country, I'm rather surprised that there is still a stigma about it, especially from a doctor. 40mg being a life sentence? Nonsense.

[texgirl]

You say that your boyfriend was put on Paxil due to stress from school, so for your famly doctor to diagnose him as a "major depressive" is overlooking the obvious, IMO. It sounds like he, like many people who take psych drugs, was handed a prescription for something that could be cured with behavioral changes. Doctors are all about the quick fix (and the cha-ching) and are seldom going to tell you that your problems can be worked out without medication. Still, to put someone on 40mg Paxil for stress is irresponsible.

I see some red flags here, too, but the main issue is, do you love this guy and are you truly willing to stay by his side "in sickness and in health," i.e., whether he's on Paxil or not? I don't think he's at all doomed to either be on meds forever or to suffer from OCD and overperfectionism forever, but to enter into marriage on the advice of a psychiatrist is questionable at best. Remember, Paxil is a band-aid, not a cure. Are you strongly committed enough to each other to face life together when the band-aid is removed?