Memory loss...

[tootsieroll]

Something occurred to me today and I thought I would write this post to show how SSRIs have affected my memory. I completely forgot that I use to be in two sports teams in my teen years and I've been going around during my SSRI years saying I've never done sports in my life. WHAT?? I now remember I trained all season and went to away games and yet I've been telling people I've never participated in it!!! WOW...I'm still in shock. Those were some of the best years ever! Can't wait to get off this.

[alivehope]

Your memory will come back and I know how are you feeling ..

[tootsieroll]

Thank you Alivehope. Yes I know it will come back and I have faith it will! Which why I had to post it, to give hope to people who are going through the same thing. When I c/t'd last year, memories were plaguing me except they started to frighten me cause it was just too much to handle. But with this slow taper I am able to enjoy the memory and say "Oh yeahhhh" lol.

[Jackson]

I know exactly how you feel tootsie.

Not long ago, I remembered that I had been working as a dance instructor at one of the biggest danceschools in my city. It came as a glimpse to me one evening, and it took me completely aback, because I had lost that memory for over 5 years. I still can not remember the circumstances around getting the job, neither what the pay was or many other details.

That is only 1 example of many, I'm sure there are so many things that I have done in my pre-drug life, that is completely gone for me still. It's like a complete eradication of identity. I sure hope it comes back, when I'm further along in recovery (I'm 37 months out now and counting).

[NoRx4me]

It's like a complete eradication of identity.

I totally agree with that statement. I feel like I have amnesia. A lot of years are wiped out. I was on mulitple meds though, including Lamictal (an anti-seizure med with amnesia listed as a possible side effect) for years.

I did have a sudden memory too that changed my whole perception of my past; For years I thought (and posted) that I was never "depressed" until I was in an abusive marriage. Then one day I suddenly remembered that I tried to commit suicide when I was 13 years old. It was a shocking memory and I had to rethink a lot of beliefs I'd been holding on to.

[chiropteran]

I can relate to this - I have big patches of my life that are pretty much blank. Doesn't help that my fiancee has a ridiculously amazing memory for even the smallest details of everything she's ever done, read, watched etc, makes me feel like I have the brain of a slug some days
I'm hoping to get back if not some of that longterm stuff, just enough short-term memory not to feel like I'm operating some kind of machine every day without knowing what 90% of the buttons do, which is how I would describe a fair bit of daily life at the moment

[NoRx4me]

Originally Posted by chiropteran

Doesn't help that my fiancee has a ridiculously amazing memory for even the smallest details of everything she's ever done, read, watched etc, makes me feel like I have the brain of a slug some days

That's how my 95 year old grandmother makes me feel. Her memory is amazing (or average but amazing in comparison). I've driven her home 4 or 5 times this year and she still has to tell me how to get there (it's only a few turns).