given in and doing a journal - Page 5

jcsneddon · 03-06-2012, 11:56 AM

wow i am impressed by how well you are doing! fantastic!

julieannboo · 03-06-2012, 01:02 PM

Thanks for the *hugs* brassmonkey!

You are doing great too Jo.

I swear that when i take that last dose in 12 months time i am NEVER taking another anti depressant. The anxiety can do what it likes.
Never again.

julieannboo · 03-07-2012, 07:18 AM

miserable as sin. anxiety is high at the moment.

right pain in breast is making me anxious plus horrible rainy weather plus my diet is real bad at the moment.

i hate it when i am like this.

jcsneddon · 03-07-2012, 07:59 AM

oh sorry to hear that

re. your breast pain. i get that on and off - always have done. really do not think that is anything to worry about honestly.

u dropped the dose the other day didn't u? that will be why you are feeling bad. it is just temporary and it is not real. you will feel much better soon

take care
Joxx

julieannboo · 03-07-2012, 08:07 AM

thanks jo.

i drop this friday x

julieannboo · 03-09-2012, 08:01 AM

today i drop to 9.2mg.

*single digits*.

Really pleased.

as the drops i am making are now gonna be smaller than 1mg i will be dropping every 3 weeks from now on.

jcsneddon · 03-10-2012, 01:31 AM

thats great julie! am not sure i am going to go that quickly but thats great that u are going for it

julieannboo · 03-13-2012, 05:10 AM

kylelost took her last paxil two days ago. so pleased. hopefully this will be me in 12 months.

a great quote from Laurie:

Quote:

Originally Posted by LCrawford67

It's a wonderful feeling, isn't it? I can offer this advice from personal experience - Don't wait for the other shoe to drop, don't "expect" anything to happen. Just live your life and be proud of this huge accomplishment. Revel in how much you've learned from this, how you will now be your own advocate and most important, be a shining example to others who think they can't do this, that they'll never be better, or that they're permanently damaged.

There will be bumps in the road of life, but you're so much stronger than you even know because of this experience!

julieannboo · 03-14-2012, 04:30 AM

got a migraine. so aggitated and vexed.

got no control in my life food wise - i cant stop eating.

when will i get some control back? is it just greed?

miserable.

Brassmonkey · 03-14-2012, 11:18 AM

It is just stress eating, I know all about that, munch, munch, munch.

Hope the headache clears up soon.

julieannboo · 03-15-2012, 06:13 AM

another great quote to suzanne about being free from paxil.

this will be me in 12 months time:

Quote:

Originally Posted by obliviousjo

Your Free, your free, your free!!! Sorry ur feeling icky...This too shall pass

I read somewhere today that the wd junk usually lasts around 2- 7 weeks...at least the hairiest parts...that gave me SOME relief...yes, I know there is NO real way to know and we're all different but....man...that sure is nice to think that SOME of us may luck out and get over alot of this crap within 2 months...
You weaned the right way, now just...go with it...anything HAS to be better than being a lifer on these meds right?

I'm right here with you and I am coming off effexor...evil

and I couldn't wean properly bc of being allergic to it so...ur going to be better off than me, if that helps

But...Ur free...No more being a slave to a pill...That's exciting...
I hope you feel great in record time

julieannboo · 03-19-2012, 08:42 AM

good quote from jackie:

Quote:

Originally Posted by caperjackie

It is time for me to let go of WD and all the 'protections' I put in place to help me get through it. Have been working on this for the last month - started eating normally again, the few vitamins I have left are on their way out and most importantly the mind set has to go or I shall become a victim to this for the rest of my life. From here on a bad day is just a bad day - so what, everyone has bad days. On days I am feeling anxious or depressed or anhedonic I shall blame it on moon cycles or the weather or lack of sleep just like 'normal' folk do. The residual issues I shall just have to learn to live with - heck at my age everyone has some kind of problem....... and it is time for me to move on with my life before relating everything to WD becomes a nasty habit. Now that the worst is over (and I know that it is) I can make this next logical step.

julieannboo · 03-21-2012, 04:22 AM

my hair pulling and the vast overeating is getting me down.

i take this a good sign - that i want to change and am beginning to stop feeling like i dont care about what i am doing to myself.

jcsneddon · 03-22-2012, 03:01 PM

very positive attitude. my weight is getting me down BIG time. i have started weight watchers today and am absolutely determined to do it this time

julieannboo · 03-23-2012, 04:07 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jcsneddon

very positive attitude. my weight is getting me down BIG time. i have started weight watchers today and am absolutely determined to do it this time

my urges to eat are terrifying. half the time i am not even hungry. mad.

weight watchers is good. i lost a stone on that last summer.

best of luck x

julieannboo · 03-27-2012, 05:17 AM

had enough of the over eating. i need to get some control back in my life. re-joining weight watchers again today.

julieannboo · 03-29-2012, 03:36 AM

tomorrow i drop again. now i am tapering every 3 weeks - the time is whizzing by.

i will drop to 8.4mg.

keep going - thats my motto.

jcsneddon · 03-29-2012, 12:59 PM

very good, i am impressed. well i am staying at 10mg for another month now so a bit slower than u

aberdeen · 03-30-2012, 09:31 AM

You're getting so close, good job! Now that I'm officially tapering, I love hearing how others are doing, so glad you're getting there!

julieannboo · 04-02-2012, 03:16 AM

miserable existence at the moment.

i dont want to do anything, my hair pulling is bad and my appetite is out of control.

i have to remember that it is all chemically induced (or reduced should i say!)

julieannboo · 04-03-2012, 09:28 AM

A positive quote in response to me not wanting to do anything:

Quote:

Originally Posted by paxilgirl

What you are feeling is so normal...I didn't want to do a thing when I tapered....it was awful. The house could have caved in and I could have said..."meh"....and continued watching TV on the couch.

I honestly think that it is truly your brain trying to heal and nothing else takes priority.....

julieannboo · 04-06-2012, 11:05 AM

The apathy and anhedonia seem to be very high at the moment. I reckon that i have been like this since paxil stopped working, off and on, for three years now.
The difference is now that i know it is withdrawal and chemically induced.
Happy Easter everyone x

jcsneddon · 04-09-2012, 03:03 AM

i think you are doing well coming off so quickly even though you are feeling rubbish. i am doing it more slowly than you as i don't like feeling like that! but good for you persevering.
you could of course consider going a bit more slowly? is there a reason why you are trying to do it so quickly?

julieannboo · 04-09-2012, 03:21 AM

It isnt that quickly as i am making smaller drops now. My whole taper has been just over the 10% mark. so i am protecting myself by knowing i am doing just over the 10% mark. Hope that makes sense!
Hope that you are well xx

julieannboo · 04-10-2012, 03:57 AM

very true:

Quote:

Originally Posted by Backtopaxil

But it is the devil in disguise. You sell your soul and then it is payback time. That is the problem.

03-06-2012, 11:56 AM	#101
jcsneddon Join Date: Jun 2011 Location: Edinburgh, UK Posts: 922	Re: given in and doing a journal wow i am impressed by how well you are doing! fantastic! __________________ 20mg Paxil for 10 years 17th July 11 - 18mg using liquid 16th August - 16mg 21st September - 14mg 30th October - 13mg 5th December - 12mg 1st February 2012 - 11mg 2nd March - 10 mg 28th April - 9 mg 27th May - 8 mg 29th July - 7.2 mg 16th October - 7 mg 23rd October - 6.8 mg 15th Nov - 6.6 mg 24th Dec - 6.4 mg 10th Feb - 6 mg "be the master of your mind rather than let your mind master you" (Nichiren Daishonin). "Winter always turns to spring"

03-06-2012, 01:02 PM	#102
julieannboo Join Date: Jul 2011 Posts: 1,395	Re: given in and doing a journal Thanks for the hugs brassmonkey! You are doing great too Jo. I swear that when i take that last dose in 12 months time i am NEVER taking another anti depressant. The anxiety can do what it likes. Never again. __________________ Paxil History: 20mg - April 1997 0mg - Summer 1998 30mg - October 1999 20mg - October 2002 - July 2011 20mg to 10mg - July 2011 - March 2012 (10% taper) CRASHED when i got to 5.2mg Back on 10mg - STAYING HERE FOR TIME BEING.

03-07-2012, 07:18 AM	#103
julieannboo Join Date: Jul 2011 Posts: 1,395	Re: given in and doing a journal miserable as sin. anxiety is high at the moment. right pain in breast is making me anxious plus horrible rainy weather plus my diet is real bad at the moment. i hate it when i am like this. __________________ Paxil History: 20mg - April 1997 0mg - Summer 1998 30mg - October 1999 20mg - October 2002 - July 2011 20mg to 10mg - July 2011 - March 2012 (10% taper) CRASHED when i got to 5.2mg Back on 10mg - STAYING HERE FOR TIME BEING.

03-07-2012, 07:59 AM	#104
jcsneddon Join Date: Jun 2011 Location: Edinburgh, UK Posts: 922	Re: given in and doing a journal oh sorry to hear that re. your breast pain. i get that on and off - always have done. really do not think that is anything to worry about honestly. u dropped the dose the other day didn't u? that will be why you are feeling bad. it is just temporary and it is not real. you will feel much better soon take care Joxx __________________ 20mg Paxil for 10 years 17th July 11 - 18mg using liquid 16th August - 16mg 21st September - 14mg 30th October - 13mg 5th December - 12mg 1st February 2012 - 11mg 2nd March - 10 mg 28th April - 9 mg 27th May - 8 mg 29th July - 7.2 mg 16th October - 7 mg 23rd October - 6.8 mg 15th Nov - 6.6 mg 24th Dec - 6.4 mg 10th Feb - 6 mg "be the master of your mind rather than let your mind master you" (Nichiren Daishonin). "Winter always turns to spring"

03-07-2012, 08:07 AM	#105
julieannboo Join Date: Jul 2011 Posts: 1,395	Re: given in and doing a journal thanks jo. i drop this friday x __________________ Paxil History: 20mg - April 1997 0mg - Summer 1998 30mg - October 1999 20mg - October 2002 - July 2011 20mg to 10mg - July 2011 - March 2012 (10% taper) CRASHED when i got to 5.2mg Back on 10mg - STAYING HERE FOR TIME BEING.

03-09-2012, 08:01 AM	#106
julieannboo Join Date: Jul 2011 Posts: 1,395	Re: given in and doing a journal today i drop to 9.2mg. single digits. Really pleased. as the drops i am making are now gonna be smaller than 1mg i will be dropping every 3 weeks from now on. __________________ Paxil History: 20mg - April 1997 0mg - Summer 1998 30mg - October 1999 20mg - October 2002 - July 2011 20mg to 10mg - July 2011 - March 2012 (10% taper) CRASHED when i got to 5.2mg Back on 10mg - STAYING HERE FOR TIME BEING.

03-10-2012, 01:31 AM	#107
jcsneddon Join Date: Jun 2011 Location: Edinburgh, UK Posts: 922	Re: given in and doing a journal thats great julie! am not sure i am going to go that quickly but thats great that u are going for it __________________ 20mg Paxil for 10 years 17th July 11 - 18mg using liquid 16th August - 16mg 21st September - 14mg 30th October - 13mg 5th December - 12mg 1st February 2012 - 11mg 2nd March - 10 mg 28th April - 9 mg 27th May - 8 mg 29th July - 7.2 mg 16th October - 7 mg 23rd October - 6.8 mg 15th Nov - 6.6 mg 24th Dec - 6.4 mg 10th Feb - 6 mg "be the master of your mind rather than let your mind master you" (Nichiren Daishonin). "Winter always turns to spring"

03-14-2012, 04:30 AM	#109
julieannboo Join Date: Jul 2011 Posts: 1,395	Re: given in and doing a journal got a migraine. so aggitated and vexed. got no control in my life food wise - i cant stop eating. when will i get some control back? is it just greed? miserable. __________________ Paxil History: 20mg - April 1997 0mg - Summer 1998 30mg - October 1999 20mg - October 2002 - July 2011 20mg to 10mg - July 2011 - March 2012 (10% taper) CRASHED when i got to 5.2mg Back on 10mg - STAYING HERE FOR TIME BEING.

03-14-2012, 11:18 AM	#110
Brassmonkey Join Date: Oct 2011 Location: California Posts: 2,013	Re: given in and doing a journal It is just stress eating, I know all about that, munch, munch, munch. Hope the headache clears up soon. __________________ AKA Tom 1994 started 20mg Paxil 1999 updosed to 30mg 2005 updosed to 40mg 2010 started not to work very well 09/2011 CTed from 15oz vodka a night 09/2011 dropped to 36mg 06/2012 dropped to 19mg (past halfway point) 08/2012 dropped to 17.1mg 09/2012 dropped to 15.2mg 11/2012 dropped to 13.8mg 12/2012 dropped to 12.4mg 01/2013 dropped to 11.1mg 03/2013 dropped to 10.0mg

03-21-2012, 04:22 AM	#113
julieannboo Join Date: Jul 2011 Posts: 1,395	Re: given in and doing a journal my hair pulling and the vast overeating is getting me down. i take this a good sign - that i want to change and am beginning to stop feeling like i dont care about what i am doing to myself. __________________ Paxil History: 20mg - April 1997 0mg - Summer 1998 30mg - October 1999 20mg - October 2002 - July 2011 20mg to 10mg - July 2011 - March 2012 (10% taper) CRASHED when i got to 5.2mg Back on 10mg - STAYING HERE FOR TIME BEING.

03-22-2012, 03:01 PM	#114
jcsneddon Join Date: Jun 2011 Location: Edinburgh, UK Posts: 922	Re: given in and doing a journal very positive attitude. my weight is getting me down BIG time. i have started weight watchers today and am absolutely determined to do it this time __________________ 20mg Paxil for 10 years 17th July 11 - 18mg using liquid 16th August - 16mg 21st September - 14mg 30th October - 13mg 5th December - 12mg 1st February 2012 - 11mg 2nd March - 10 mg 28th April - 9 mg 27th May - 8 mg 29th July - 7.2 mg 16th October - 7 mg 23rd October - 6.8 mg 15th Nov - 6.6 mg 24th Dec - 6.4 mg 10th Feb - 6 mg "be the master of your mind rather than let your mind master you" (Nichiren Daishonin). "Winter always turns to spring"

03-27-2012, 05:17 AM	#116
julieannboo Join Date: Jul 2011 Posts: 1,395	Re: given in and doing a journal had enough of the over eating. i need to get some control back in my life. re-joining weight watchers again today. __________________ Paxil History: 20mg - April 1997 0mg - Summer 1998 30mg - October 1999 20mg - October 2002 - July 2011 20mg to 10mg - July 2011 - March 2012 (10% taper) CRASHED when i got to 5.2mg Back on 10mg - STAYING HERE FOR TIME BEING.

03-29-2012, 03:36 AM	#117
julieannboo Join Date: Jul 2011 Posts: 1,395	Re: given in and doing a journal tomorrow i drop again. now i am tapering every 3 weeks - the time is whizzing by. i will drop to 8.4mg. keep going - thats my motto. __________________ Paxil History: 20mg - April 1997 0mg - Summer 1998 30mg - October 1999 20mg - October 2002 - July 2011 20mg to 10mg - July 2011 - March 2012 (10% taper) CRASHED when i got to 5.2mg Back on 10mg - STAYING HERE FOR TIME BEING.

03-29-2012, 12:59 PM	#118
jcsneddon Join Date: Jun 2011 Location: Edinburgh, UK Posts: 922	Re: given in and doing a journal very good, i am impressed. well i am staying at 10mg for another month now so a bit slower than u __________________ 20mg Paxil for 10 years 17th July 11 - 18mg using liquid 16th August - 16mg 21st September - 14mg 30th October - 13mg 5th December - 12mg 1st February 2012 - 11mg 2nd March - 10 mg 28th April - 9 mg 27th May - 8 mg 29th July - 7.2 mg 16th October - 7 mg 23rd October - 6.8 mg 15th Nov - 6.6 mg 24th Dec - 6.4 mg 10th Feb - 6 mg "be the master of your mind rather than let your mind master you" (Nichiren Daishonin). "Winter always turns to spring"

03-30-2012, 09:31 AM	#119
aberdeen Join Date: Jan 2012 Location: Canada Posts: 2,892	Re: given in and doing a journal You're getting so close, good job! Now that I'm officially tapering, I love hearing how others are doing, so glad you're getting there! __________________ *2 Timothy 1:7: "For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind."* 2005-2010 Effexor XR 112.5mg-262.5mg for PPD Dec 2010 Poop-out and rapid 3 month wean. Off Effexor March 2011 Hell started 1 month later-tried 3 other meds to deal with w/d nothing worked. . Now tapering from 20mg Paxil (still recovering from Effexor w/d) Oct'11 to Nov '12 20mg-10mg Mar 5/13- 9mg Apr 12/13-8.1mg May 5/13-7.3mg

04-02-2012, 03:16 AM	#120
julieannboo Join Date: Jul 2011 Posts: 1,395	Re: given in and doing a journal miserable existence at the moment. i dont want to do anything, my hair pulling is bad and my appetite is out of control. i have to remember that it is all chemically induced (or reduced should i say!) __________________ Paxil History: 20mg - April 1997 0mg - Summer 1998 30mg - October 1999 20mg - October 2002 - July 2011 20mg to 10mg - July 2011 - March 2012 (10% taper) CRASHED when i got to 5.2mg Back on 10mg - STAYING HERE FOR TIME BEING.

04-06-2012, 11:05 AM	#122
julieannboo Join Date: Jul 2011 Posts: 1,395	Re: given in and doing a journal The apathy and anhedonia seem to be very high at the moment. I reckon that i have been like this since paxil stopped working, off and on, for three years now. The difference is now that i know it is withdrawal and chemically induced. Happy Easter everyone x __________________ Paxil History: 20mg - April 1997 0mg - Summer 1998 30mg - October 1999 20mg - October 2002 - July 2011 20mg to 10mg - July 2011 - March 2012 (10% taper) CRASHED when i got to 5.2mg Back on 10mg - STAYING HERE FOR TIME BEING.

04-09-2012, 03:03 AM	#123
jcsneddon Join Date: Jun 2011 Location: Edinburgh, UK Posts: 922	Re: given in and doing a journal i think you are doing well coming off so quickly even though you are feeling rubbish. i am doing it more slowly than you as i don't like feeling like that! but good for you persevering. you could of course consider going a bit more slowly? is there a reason why you are trying to do it so quickly? __________________ 20mg Paxil for 10 years 17th July 11 - 18mg using liquid 16th August - 16mg 21st September - 14mg 30th October - 13mg 5th December - 12mg 1st February 2012 - 11mg 2nd March - 10 mg 28th April - 9 mg 27th May - 8 mg 29th July - 7.2 mg 16th October - 7 mg 23rd October - 6.8 mg 15th Nov - 6.6 mg 24th Dec - 6.4 mg 10th Feb - 6 mg "be the master of your mind rather than let your mind master you" (Nichiren Daishonin). "Winter always turns to spring"

04-09-2012, 03:21 AM	#124
julieannboo Join Date: Jul 2011 Posts: 1,395	Re: given in and doing a journal It isnt that quickly as i am making smaller drops now. My whole taper has been just over the 10% mark. so i am protecting myself by knowing i am doing just over the 10% mark. Hope that makes sense! Hope that you are well xx __________________ Paxil History: 20mg - April 1997 0mg - Summer 1998 30mg - October 1999 20mg - October 2002 - July 2011 20mg to 10mg - July 2011 - March 2012 (10% taper) CRASHED when i got to 5.2mg Back on 10mg - STAYING HERE FOR TIME BEING.

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