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Family Support Paxil affects whole families. This forum is to support those closest to our hearts (spouses, partners, brothers, sisters etc.) who need help to understand and support.

Adverse Drug Reaction Reporting    FDA Warnings    Published Withdrawal Studies    Pregnancy Warnings    Forum Psychology

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Old 03-24-2012, 02:58 PM   #1
tootsieroll
 
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Dating =(

Urgghh...I'm not sure if this is the right place to type this but I'm pretty sure my taper has something to do with my thoughts on this. I have recently gone on a date with the man of my dreams and we hit it off so well. But after the date he texted me a couple of times and then a couple of days go by and nothing. Now I am anxious and paranoid and feel like he must think something is wrong with me and that our date probably wasn't as great as I thought it was.

Am I paranoid? Or do they feel they no longer have to try as hard because we already went on one date? I figured if he liked me a lot he would be contacting me nonstop. In a way, I realize maybe its a wrong time to get in a relationship but it's exciting and this is the first interesting thing to happen since.
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Old 03-25-2012, 02:13 PM   #2
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Re: Dating =(

I'm old so I'll give you some old guy advice. Be patient and let things happen at their own pace.
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Old 03-25-2012, 02:16 PM   #3
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Re: Dating =(

Quote:
Originally Posted by tootsieroll View Post
I figured if he liked me a lot he would be contacting me nonstop.
No guy is gonna do that As Charlie said, just be patient and let things happen in their own time.
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Old 03-25-2012, 07:01 PM   #4
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Re: Dating =(

Charlie- You may think it is old guy advice but at least it is wise advice. Thx!

Lcrawford- I know they don't REALLY do that. But a girl can dream LOL.

You guys are awesome
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Old 03-25-2012, 08:40 PM   #5
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Re: Dating =(

Quote:
Originally Posted by tootsieroll View Post
I figured if he liked me a lot he would be contacting me nonstop.
Quote:
Originally Posted by LCrawford67 View Post
No guy is gonna do that
We probably don't but maybe we should or at least make a better effort.
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Old 03-26-2012, 10:18 AM   #6
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Re: Dating =(

Dating? Wahoo! You go girl!

Patience is a virtue my dear... don't take away the thrill of the hunt ;-)

And if you're bored waiting for him to contact you, or think you ought to start contacting him nonstop, I recommend comedic relief with "He's just not that into you". It's quite funny, and has some great gems about men and dating tucked in there...
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Old 03-26-2012, 04:48 PM   #7
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Re: Dating =(

Lol that's exactly what i whispered to myself last night while deep breathing 'Patience is a virtue.'
Honestly with all this brain fog i don't even know how the date continued. I don't remember much of our convo cus i was nervous out of my mind n couldn't stop staring at his beauty. But by god the night was fun lol.
The reason i am paranoid is because he's gorgeous, successful, really smart and outgoing n then there's me, plain jane. I don't hv anything to offer but my humour? Lol. This is going to be interesting
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Old 03-26-2012, 05:19 PM   #8
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Re: Dating =(

I know you didn't ask for it but here's some more old guy advice.

Quote:
Originally Posted by tootsieroll View Post
The reason i am paranoid is because he's gorgeous, successful, really smart and outgoing
Those things alone don't make a relationship successful. Look for someone with substance......

Quote:
Originally Posted by tootsieroll View Post
then there's me, plain jane. I don't hv anything to offer but my humour? Lol.
I'd be willing to bet you have plenty to offer.


That's all I have which isn't much but it's free.
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Old 03-26-2012, 06:02 PM   #9
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Re: Dating =(

Charlie you crack me up! And keep your advice coming because I'll take anything to understand the male mind.

I understand finding someone with substance and he is someone with substance which is why this one is hard to let go. Of course, my list was a tiny general list of features that attract me but it goes deeper than that.

His humour is like mine, which has to be number one on my list and without that I don't think I can see it going far. When he talks about things he talks with passion and conviction and I'm pretty sure I sit there like a doe eyed deer wondering where this creature came from. Him being a gentleman is just another bonus-think opening doors for you, extending his arm so you can hold it. Oh...and he smells nice LOL.
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Old 03-28-2012, 08:21 PM   #10
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Re: Dating =(

Quote:
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I understand finding someone with substance and he is someone with substance which is why this one is hard to let go. Of course, my list was a tiny general list of features that attract me but it goes deeper than that.
OK now that I've had time to shave my ears and nose here we go. If he wasn't the things on your list would you care if he called or not? Has he made contact? If not there must be some kind of well hidded flaw.
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Old 03-28-2012, 08:29 PM   #11
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Re: Dating =(

Unfortunately he hasn't contacted ME but I did contact him and he sent a very short reply and that was that. I tried to start a convo but no response =( Maybe there is a flaw. Maybe he's a serial dater and has to see what is prettier and better. SIGH.
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Old 03-28-2012, 08:37 PM   #12
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Re: Dating =(

Could be you didn't see the real him on the date and you're better off without him. Finding better (whatever that is) or prettier may not have anything to do with it. Trust me, I'm old and I know these things :-)
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Old 03-28-2012, 08:49 PM   #13
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Re: Dating =(

Thnx Charlie for the advice. Doesn't mean it hurts less though.
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Old 03-28-2012, 08:54 PM   #14
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Re: Dating =(

I know it still hurts and it should if you liked him. What I see that you have to believe about yourself is that you're as good as anyone and as pretty as anyone to the right guy. Not every guy finds the same thing attractive or we would all be after the same woman.
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Old 04-06-2012, 02:03 AM   #15
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Re: Dating =(

=O Omg he texted me out of nowhere. Although I am ecstatic, something seems off. He texts as if he never disappeared and length of texts are very short. I know he may be busy but do you think he's just stringing me along as he looks at other options? He doesn't seem to ask me many questions about what is going on in my life. We joke around in our texts but no personal questions and such. Is he just a very cautious man or are my expectations just too high lol.
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Old 04-06-2012, 01:39 PM   #16
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Re: Dating =(

Quote:
Originally Posted by tootsieroll View Post
=O Omg he texted me out of nowhere. Although I am ecstatic, something seems off. He texts as if he never disappeared and length of texts are very short. I know he may be busy but do you think he's just stringing me along as he looks at other options? He doesn't seem to ask me many questions about what is going on in my life. We joke around in our texts but no personal questions and such. Is he just a very cautious man or are my expectations just too high lol.
Nobody can know what he's thinking so don't try. Take it at face value for now and see what happens but if something continues to seem of it probably is so trust your instincts. I know you're excited and for good reason if you really liked him but don't expect to much until you have a reason.

One more thing, I may be the last person on earth you should listen to when it comes to dating advice.
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Old 04-20-2012, 05:40 PM   #17
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Re: Dating =(

This is so embarassing and I need some place to get my thoughts out. So this guy did contact me again and we went on our second date. I'm starting to realize it's not a good idea to date while I'm going through tapering because I seem to be dumber than I really am lol. After our date we went back to his place to hang and he gave me a nice tour of his home.

During this tour I began to ADD a lot and just didn't take in anything he was showing me and when he goes one way I end up in another room. He proclaims "What is wrong with you? You're always everywhere!" I didn't realize how bad it was until he said it!!! I also notice that when he says anything of importance I don't have any replies. Well I have replies but they are in my head and not coming out my mouth fast enough. So I just sit there staring and smiling. You know how creepy that must look??? Urghhh. I can only sit there and look pretty for so long till I get the boot out the door lol.
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Old 04-20-2012, 08:43 PM   #18
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Re: Dating =(

Quote:
Originally Posted by tootsieroll View Post
This is so embarassing and I need some place to get my thoughts out. So this guy did contact me again and we went on our second date. I'm starting to realize it's not a good idea to date while I'm going through tapering because I seem to be dumber than I really am lol. After our date we went back to his place to hang and he gave me a nice tour of his home.

During this tour I began to ADD a lot and just didn't take in anything he was showing me and when he goes one way I end up in another room. He proclaims "What is wrong with you? You're always everywhere!" I didn't realize how bad it was until he said it!!! I also notice that when he says anything of importance I don't have any replies. Well I have replies but they are in my head and not coming out my mouth fast enough. So I just sit there staring and smiling. You know how creepy that must look??? Urghhh. I can only sit there and look pretty for so long till I get the boot out the door lol.
I know you didn't ask for advice but well you did here in the beginning

Quote:
Originally Posted by tootsieroll View Post
Am I paranoid? Or do they feel they no longer have to try as hard because we already went on one date?
so we'll go with that.

If you like the guy and if you are pretty sure you'll get the boot because of the things you mentioned I think you should explain to him that you're going through AD withdrawal and explain how it effects you and see what happens. If he's worth his salt he'll at least try to understand and give you a chance. If not you'll get the boot just like you expect to get anyway.

It's not without risk of rejection and you'll have to be willing to accept that risk if you decide to tell him.

Hope it goes well for you.
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Old 04-26-2012, 01:09 AM   #19
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Re: Dating =(

Hi again Charlie. Your advice is always welcome here as I'll take anything just to understand the mind of the opposite sex. You guys definitely are from Mars haha.

Well he seems to come and go (texts, phone calls) that's for sure. I think it's too early to tell him about the withdrawal I am going through. Perhaps I am okay with this space between us at the moment, knowing I will one day get over this hump and no one would be the wiser.
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Old 04-26-2012, 09:08 AM   #20
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Re: Dating =(

a book someone gave me and it was made into a film was 'he just isnt that into you'

it saved me a lot of time chasing guys that didnt like me.

i am not saying it is the case with the guy but reading the book - everything become so clear in the way of dating.

best of luck x
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Old 04-26-2012, 09:21 AM   #21
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Re: Dating =(

I disagree with lauries advice on this one. If a guys likes you he is indeed gonna call/text/mail you fast. We guys are no players in that area. We are full of lust. If we want ya; we want ya. And we come and get you. So to bad but i think this guy is not into you.

However i also disagree with you. You say that you have nothing to offer but humor. MANNN humor in a woman is sooo sexy. And very rare. Sorry girls but i havent met many women with a good sense of humor. If you have that tootsie;..thats gold. And a decent guy will see that and wont let ya go
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Old 04-26-2012, 09:43 AM   #22
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Re: Dating =(

Man now I am more confused than EVER! So what does it mean when we don't communicate for a week and he'll be the first one to text me? Does that count? also keep in mind that we are both sort of shy.

And yes I have this weird sarcastic humor that only guys seem to get. Whenever I try them on my girlfriends it seems to fly over their heads LOL.

PS. I was watching that movie "He's just not into you" the other night hahaha. It still didn't answer anything for me. Except for Justin Longs character, it showed that a guy can be NOT into you and then surprisingly into you...hmmmm
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Old 04-26-2012, 10:46 AM   #23
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Re: Dating =(

Quote:
Originally Posted by tootsieroll View Post
Man now I am more confused than EVER! So what does it mean when we don't communicate for a week and he'll be the first one to text me? Does that count? also keep in mind that we are both sort of shy.

And yes I have this weird sarcastic humor that only guys seem to get. Whenever I try them on my girlfriends it seems to fly over their heads LOL.

PS. I was watching that movie "He's just not into you" the other night hahaha. It still didn't answer anything for me. Except for Justin Longs character, it showed that a guy can be NOT into you and then surprisingly into you...hmmmm
read the book. basically if a guy wants you he will walk through a brick wall to get you. xx
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Old 04-27-2012, 05:01 PM   #24
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Re: Dating =(

Quote:
Originally Posted by tootsieroll View Post
Hi again Charlie. Your advice is always welcome here as I'll take anything just to understand the mind of the opposite sex. You guys definitely are from Mars haha.

Well he seems to come and go (texts, phone calls) that's for sure. I think it's too early to tell him about the withdrawal I am going through. Perhaps I am okay with this space between us at the moment, knowing I will one day get over this hump and no one would be the wiser.
I've always had a feeling I was born in the wrong place......What I meant was to tell him as a last resort if he's dumping you because of the behavior you wrote about. If he's still contacting you just be patient, he may just like to take his time and not rush things.

Dork from Ork over and out.
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Old 05-07-2012, 01:20 PM   #25
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Re: Dating =(

Glad you got some enjoyment out of the movie Tootsieroll! so... been awhile since an update... is he still around? What's goin on? Any juicy details yet?
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