Need some encouragement and advise

[Pino]

Hey people, as you can see in my history i dropped from 7.5 to 7 mgs 4 weeks ago. The first 2 weeks were allright but the last 2 weeks are really hard. I had my fair share of bumps and bigger bumps during my taper but i could manage them pretty well with my coping skills and they did not effect my work etc. to much. Generally i was very pleased with my progress and things i learned.
Work (although stressfull in IT Sales) felt as a good distraction and even rigorous excercise kept me going.

This time its different and i cant figure out whats going on or if its withdrawal. The bad feelings and physical manifestations are just so overwhelming and relentless that i have a hard time to accept it and letting time pass. (although i know that this is key)

I experience:

- Depression: (downs and some small ups mostly in the evening) Normally i'm fairly good at waiting it out and see it for what it is but this time its relentless. It seems that i have no control about it and i have to watch myself for not letting it control me and adding to much secundary fear. Life looks extremely bleak and gloomy instead of black.

- anxiety: I have a good grip on anxiety generally but know its tied with this strange or different kind of depression, lethargic feeling, restless feeling and its hard to just let it be.

- Lethargic: normally despite withdrawal symtoms i am fairly disciplined when it comes to work, excercise and other things. Now i keep doing them but i really don't feel like it.

- Burning and aching all over my body: My body hurts, I tried to keep up with my normal excercise level but i'm weaker and i just cant maintain it currently. I have to watch that i'm not getting extra depressed about this.

- Much lower treshold when it comes to stress: it seems like stressfull events have an immediate effect on my nerves right now. And my ability to put things in perspective seems gone or isnt working.

- Brainfog: I find it very difficult to think things trough and to focus on something. My memory is shut down a bit and i have dificulties finding my words.

- Weightloss, although im glad about that, but it coinsides with this difficult stretch so maybe its clearer to you what could be going on.


I dont know maybe i'm just wining but i can't deny that this one is getting to me and i must admit that it resembles the sensations like when i previously tapered to fast to 0 and reinstated. (maybe less intense now). I also must admit that from time to time now i'm scared that i'm crashing or something. (i know that being scared is probably not reality and it cant hurt me but this one takes all my courage and beyond).

Some words of wisdom and/or encouragement are much appreciated because i need it right now. (i'm sry for asking)

[aberdeen]

I wish could give you advice but I'm nowhere near there yet...I'm sure it's just a bad wave, I know some can be worse than others. I've read about people having rough waves around your dose level too. It will pass though. You've come really far, I hope I'm can get that low someday! Maybe withdrawal has a cumulative effect, where some of the drops aren't felt until much later, and you're experiencing some delayed reactions from not just the last drop, but some of the others before it. Hang in there, it'll be worth it!

[aberdeen]

Oh and you're not whining! Don't be sorry for asking for encouragement, we all need it. It can really help.

[Pino]

Thank you for your kind reply.. It feels good when someone seems to care. Even online lol. You will get there also. Keep it nice and slow.

This time i really got hit off guard. And all the symptoms came at once full force. Its just so hard to believe that such tiny drops can make one feel like this. I do know that it is not fair to blame everything on WD. I decided that a long time ago and this enabled me to start learning. But now it is just so magnified that it seems like my coping skills are screeming against a tornado. Maybe thats proof that how i'm feeling is for a big part WD driven.

[aberdeen]

Originally Posted by Pino

Thank you for your kind reply.. It feels good when someone seems to care. Even online lol. You will get there also. Keep it nice and slow.

This time i really got hit off guard. And all the symptoms came at once full force. Its just so hard to believe that such tiny drops can make one feel like this. I do know that it is not fair to blame everything on WD. I decided that a long time ago and this enabled me to start learning. But now it is just so magnified that it seems like my coping skills are screeming against a tornado. Maybe thats proof that how i'm feeling is for a big part WD driven.

It sure sounds w/d driven. Which means it will pass! It's discouraging though, I know I'll be discouraged if this happens to me, so I feel for you.

[Backtopaxil]

I am starting to have some jitters in the morning but must go on. The way I see it is that Paxil is losing its efficacy in our brain chemistry and our brain is rebelling.

Just hang on, it is part of the process. You have gone very far and this is just a small bump.

[Pino]

Well, i guess i'm a little bit stubborn and i'm going to excercise the heck out of me tonight and see how i feel after that.

I have to admit that since yesterday the body aching is much less but now i'm dizzie and i look through my eyes as if i had a couple of beers within a short time.

[Pino]

thank you backtopaxil

[aberdeen]

I wonder if waiting longer between drops at this point is what is needed? Anyone else have more issues in the lower doses? Or less? Or no difference at all?

[Kay2020]

Pino, I know how you feel and it is withdrawal and it will get better. there are those tapers that have you feeling great and then those that are hard to muddle through. Keep hanging on and it will get better each time you drop it is hard to predicate how well you will feel. do not think you are getting worse because this taper has you feeling worse.

[Pino]

Thank you very much you all for the replys. I went excercising tonight and actually it went pretty well except the fact i received an illegal but accidental head butt from my sparring partner. Now i have a black eye :-( but i'm feeling pretty descent right now. I have to work from home THE following days because of the eye. It rather be in THE office or at à client..

[Pino]

Thank you kay

[Lovesthebeach]

Hi Pino-

One thing I try to keep in mind is something a previous manager said to my team. Sometimes situations are like a rubber band in that you might get pulled back but in the end it will spring you forward. I think this applies to all of us trying to get off these meds!

[Pino]

Lovesthebeach, Thats à really nice way to look at it. I read here also somewhere "If youre in hell keep walking". I like to remind myself of those sayings when things get bumpy. It often helps to see it through. But for the last 2 weeks nothing seemed to help. I stumbled upon à site with à lot of quotes from al kind of well know people. There is à lot of (life) wisdom in these quotes which often help me to put things in perspective.

[Pino]

I'm happy to announce that it seems like things are settlIng down à bit.
It is so strange how this process works. Yesterday i wrote à thread here because i felt i needed to talk to you only to find out that à day later i'm in much better shape. For the first time in 2 weeks.

It only s*cks that i have to work from home because of my black eye i got yesterday i'd rather be around people but if thats the worst i guess its not so bad.

I have 1 questions left: should i considder making an even smaller drop next time because This drop was particular chalanging or tread it just like that?

Thank you again for your replys.

[Pino]

Hi there,

My last post was positive but yesterday was the hardest day for me since tapering to fast and reinstating. I had episodes of pretty intense anxiety and depression during my taper and i learned a great deal in how to handle that. I really discovered that how i handled it would make a difference. Overall the past 15 months of weaning i had a sense of improvement and growing fate that i could get of paxil despite some hard times.

The wave where i'm currently in is so so different, it doesnt feel like normal anxiety or depression. Its more intense and feels almost chemical due to a strange burning and thingling througout my body, nauseous and at times extremely dizzy. this reminds me at the time that i weaned to fast and hell broke lose but it is also simmilar to the start up effects of paxil i experienced in the past. I have a very very hard time concentrating at work and its so difficult to not dispair and to not view your life through the lens of how i'm feeling right now. Im don't want to let down myself my work and my girlfriend but i'm realy struggling right now and noone in my life understands.

Im really not good at expressing wat i feel or what i want but could it be that i'm crashing or is this just a very bad wave? im lost and i find it very hard to keep faith. I think i need your support guys.

[chiropteran]

This sounds like absolute classic withdrawal to me Pino - every symptom fits. It sounds like a bad wave - hang on tight and keep on posting, it will pass and you'll live to fight another day

[Pino]

Thank you chiropteran,

I noticed today that its more an akathesia like agitation that i'm feeling right now. Its almost resistent to relaxation and everything. When i manage to calm down the what If thoughts and the real anxiety starts to abate i can tell the difference. The only sensations left then are fairly strong urge to move, my arms and upper back burning and stinging like crazy, nausia, dizziness and à persistant headache.

The tension i'm feeling is à different kind than which comes with severe anxiety which was THE reason to start paxil. Does this sound familiar to you Guys as à bad wave of withdrawal? And Can such thing clear up wIth staying at THE Same dOse for a while?

[NewbGuy]

As other have said, this sounds exactly like bad waves of paxil. I had similar things in my taper, a consistent taper which left me feeling intermittenly bad, and then a similar drop making me feel absolutely terrible. Even when I got off of paxil, there was like 1-2 month wait period of feeling fairly decent, followed by a a tremendous crashed that lasted in earnest probably for a month or two. And I had tapered down to well below .5mg. I think my last dose was even something like .1mg.

Many of us have experienced this and many have experienced it multiple times, like myself. The thing thats crazy is that when you get hit with a really bad wave, you think its forever, or its different and NOW something is really wrong, every time. Yet as droves of members can attest to this just isn't the case, even though it feels so profoundly like it is.

You will get out of this wave.

[Pino]

Hello NewbGuy thank you for taking the time and reply.

It is like you say when a badder than normal wave hits it seems that something is really wrong this time.
The strange thing is that i thought i had a pretty good expectation of what waves were all about because i had one every dose drop that lasted for about a week or 2 weeks max. Some waves not to bad, some bad and some more bad. But they were all along the same lines when it comes to symptoms and i found my way to endure them. The current symptoms are much more like the ones i felt when going CT or 3month taper from 20 to 0. maybe not as bad as back then but the same sensations. what i'm trying to say is that this wave is completely different. Is this something you or others experienced to?

[NewbGuy]

Originally Posted by Pino

Hello NewbGuy thank you for taking the time and reply.

It is like you say when a badder than normal wave hits it seems that something is really wrong this time.
The strange thing is that i thought i had a pretty good expectation of what waves were all about because i had one every dose drop that lasted for about a week or 2 weeks max. Some waves not to bad, some bad and some more bad. But they were all along the same lines when it comes to symptoms and i found my way to endure them. The current symptoms are much more like the ones i felt when going CT or 3month taper from 20 to 0. maybe not as bad as back then but the same sensations. what i'm trying to say is that this wave is completely different. Is this something you or others experienced to?

Definitely. When I first quit basically CT, I experienced a ton of symptoms some including akithisia, really bad depression, and really bad anxiety. While I tapered most of these symptoms didn't present. It was mostly, inability to tolerate stress (physical or emotional), dizziness, coordination issues, digestion stuff, and some sleep problems here and there. But a on a few drops over the the taper, and even 2 months after I had taken my final dose, I got symptoms that more closely resembled my CT withdraw state.

And its those really severe ones that are so scary and would convince anyone that something serious is really wrong now... but by and large in paxil withdraw there isn't something else wrong... it is just the nature of withdraw. It further sucks because there isn't a ton of research in the area and even the research taht does exist isn't known or promulgated by very many individuals in the medical community.

Thus your direct experience tells you something is very wrong, there seems to be no assuasive answer from the medical community that will tell you thats "while it sucks it is totally normal," the withdraw itself fosters sensational and morbid interpretations of even the slightest change in your state of health, and so instead you're left to come to an internet forum and gauge based on anecdotal accounts by people in similar situation.

Obviously no one can say that they are 100% sure that this isn't withdraw. But if I was a betting man I'd be willing to stake quite a bit of money that by this time next month you'll be looking back and wondering how you possibly felt as bad as your posts indicate.

[Pino]

Thanks newbguy for explaining.. Its posts and experiences like yours and others here that give people in my situation hope and insight to push through further. It is really tru that when things get though there is noone in the medical community who you can turn to. They look at you as if they never heard of wd. Therefore This forum is a blessing.

[jr1985]

I had that burning/tingling in my arms and legs and teeth chattering when I reinstated Effexor, after tapering too quickly.

It's interesting that it appeared as a side effect for me, but as w/d symptoms for you. My symptoms slowly got better, although they're still present to some degree, probably because I'm still on the drug. I'm sure yours will improve with time.

[Pino]

Hi i hope i don't bore you but writing à bit here during This wave makes me feel less alone in this.

The akathesia and burning thing eased up à bit today. Im lucky that my sleep isnt affected much. I noticed tomorrow when i woke up that i was reasonably calm. Then suddenly my body and mind seemed to remember what was going on lately and it was as If à switch went on and the burning started again. I got up cleaned out the dishwasher cleaned some mess from THE Evening before. I realised that i was quite agitatedly doing things to run from THE deelings. I then went back to bed did some relaxation and managed to sleep for to more hours. When i woke up again i felt more in control and now THE intense feelings abated somewhat. I'm left now à bit Empty and strange feeling. Also à bit fragile.

I noticed another strange thing which are these very short moments of something like "nothing can hurt me" and i get really calm and joyfull for splitt seconds. During these bursts i have the urge to tell my girlfriend how much i love her and to pet the dog. I wish these moments lasted longer. Please tell me i'm not going crazy.

[Pino]

One more question, my situation seems very persistant at THE moment and i'm feeling just sick. Tomorrow i have to go to work and now is THE first time in my taper that i really dread going. I Cant concentrate on nothing and i cant keep stil. What i'm feeling is like terrible anxiety but more physical than psychological. My stomache is in à not and in sweating and nausious. It also seems to me that This is for the most part wd. I have to remain functional. I'm willing to muddle through for à while but i Cant affort things falling apart. This morning i needed to cry and needed à shoulder from my gf. But she wasnt aware because i didnt tell her earlier and with these things i don't get much support. She asked why i was Crying i told her i am extremely restless and wd is hard right know. She thought that is no reason to cry. I know that its hard to understand but it hurted me intensly. Man 2 weeks ago i still felt like i had it understand controll.

I know that it is à guess but would it make sense to updose to 7.5 and try to get stable??