What happened to my guy

angelhigh · 05-01-2012, 07:41 AM

My guy, who I was with for 2 years, was sweet, passionate, extremely emotional, and very much in love with me. He was my world. He would always call, tex, and wanted to see me. Things were great.
He went on paxil for anxiety, 20mg and in 2 weeks told me he was having trouble expressing emotion. He actually couldn't talk about feelings he said. He was always a feeling man, but did cry a lot. He cut back to 10mg and seemed OK and was more in love then ever. Everything was fine for a week. Then he went up to 40mg, he said he felt depressed. A couple of weeks later I didn't even know him. He was so shut down, mean, defensive, yelled, never called, didn't want sex and if he did, he wanted it quick. One day he actually faked an orgasm, he later admitted. That one I still can't believe.

I looked into his eyes one day and I swear it was as though he had no soul. I am in a healing profession and I could feel some bad energy.
I ended the relationship after 2 months of him being on this drug. He was treating me terrible. I have been depressed ever since. I had to end it, he wasnt at home, the man I knew was not there. He was scaring me the way he was acting. I was so hoping he would get off the paxil and come back. It has been 3 months and I can't believe that drug turned him so cold. He told me paxil took his depression away and it helped his anxiety. He even told me he had fantasies of killing his dad and watching his guts splat. That is why I ended it and he seemed to care less. I never heard from him again.
He is in a new relationship he started 8 weeks after me, and all falling in love with her. Wow, he barely took a breather. I was told this from a friend. I don't get it, I thought this paxil kept you from falling in love? Why did he change so fast toward me? For some reason I can't move on. Can anyone say anything to help clear my head. I miss the man I loved.

Charlie · 05-01-2012, 03:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by angelhigh

He is in a new relationship he started 8 weeks after me, and all falling in love with her. Wow, he barely took a breather. I was told this from a friend. I don't get it, I thought this paxil kept you from falling in love? Why did he change so fast toward me? For some reason I can't move on. Can anyone say anything to help clear my head. I miss the man I loved.

In my opinion it's not about you and the new person it's about the new of the new person if that makes any sense. New offers excitement which again in my opinion triggers a dopamine release that was supressed by the paxil. The release isn't as great as it normally would be at the beginning of a new relationship but it's something more than he was able to do before.

I know that goes in circles and I'm sorry. It's the new not the person.

angelhigh · 05-01-2012, 04:50 PM

Thank you. I think I understand. I have been holding this in for over 3 months and I am bursting with grief. It blows, I think I just need to vent. I told my friends, but all they say is if he cant feel emotion then how is he in love with someone else. I keep it all bottled in. I just want to move on, but I have become obsessed with this. I wish I never let him go, but I seen my sister go through this and her husband killed himself. My other sister divorced her husband after 18 years of these drugs. He just kept cheating.
I never seen anyone change like my guy did. When he started to talk about killing his father I got freaked out. He would laugh a sick laugh. He threatened me, but then he said he was kidding, that was unlike him. He seemed so cold. I thought for sure if I ended it he would come back. He has never did.
I feel like garbage tossed. Thanks for writting.

I really appreciate it!!!!!!!!!

angelhigh · 05-01-2012, 04:56 PM

How long does the new last? Is there a chance the new will wear off and he will come back, or does he move on to another new like my brother in law kept doing. he he. Is that what this drug does? On again, off again, hot cold?

Charlie · 05-01-2012, 07:05 PM

I wish I could tell you what he's going to do but there is no certainty to the behavior and the time table where these drugs are concerned. If he's on 40 now and he was having trouble at 20 I'd guess the roughest road for him is still ahead. I'd guess he'll become manic if he's not already and create lots of problems for himself.

Paxilalmostkilledme · 05-01-2012, 09:39 PM

I was that guy, once upon a time. This will probably feel like a really bad dream once he gets off paxil and returns to himself. I wonder how many relationships have ended because of ssri's...I wish you the best.

angelhigh · 05-02-2012, 10:03 AM

I doubt he will quit paxil, he said he loved it. He did seem manic at times on it, but other times he seemed quiet, blank and cold. I real appreciate your advice.
We were getting along so well until he went on this drug, then he could care less weather we talked or not.

angelhigh · 05-02-2012, 10:07 AM

P.S. He is also on Xanax at night to sleep. I don't take drugs, but I am guessing that is bad. I am thinking about talking to a therapist. I thought for sure he would have come back by now, not fall in love with someone else.

angelhigh · 05-02-2012, 10:10 AM

How many months before you see changes that are worse then he is having? You mean it get worse in time on this stuff? Your brain will not get use to it? In the beginning of him taking it, he was doing 60-80mg day. His doctor told him to stop that.

Charlie · 05-05-2012, 07:39 AM

Was he prescribed 60 - 80mg per day or did he just take that much? If he just took it the Dr in my opinion should have taken him completely off.

It could get worse for him but it may not there isn't any way to tell before it happens. I suspect it will because of the behavior changes you wrote about but I don't know that for sure. When I say worse I'm talking about doing things that are more out of character and maybe some excessive spending that gets him into financial trouble.

I hope I'm wrong!!!!

angelhigh · 05-05-2012, 07:58 AM

His doctor started him with 20 and in a week he himself increased it to 40. Then after 2 weeks he would take it twice a day. I know he is not sleeping and he is eating a lot. A friend told me that.
He does not even acknowledge that I ever existed. As a matter of fact he is telling others that I am bipolar and he broke up with me, which is a lie. I am such a quiet laid back person, I do not even drink. I am starting to move on, I have no choice. I just needed to know what happened to his emotions. We were to marry, we had all these plans!

Now he is in love with another woman after 8 weeks! I wonder of one day he comes off paxil if he will call, but I wont hold my breath. I will miss the man I was with, but that guy is gone.
Thank you Charlie for writing.

I have read some of the other post and I realize now that the paxil has poisoned.

USMCmatt · 05-05-2012, 07:45 PM

My now ex and I went through something just like this. She started taking the meds and this sweet compassionate lovey dubby girl turned into a cold shell of herself. Told me the spark was gone. She completely shut off emotionally it seemed. She still loved me and still does, but she is stepping down from 20mg to 10mg right now and I noticed a very slight improvement right before we split up. This of course made her upset because she felt judged and analyzed. My heart hurts so much now as it has only been a few days. I have slowly started to move out and it hurts. I have high hopes we will get through this as the breakup was very calm and more like an official break. Not so much a breakup. We will see though...time will tell.

You can check the thread I created a few weeks ago called Citralopram is ruining my relationship.

angelhigh · 05-26-2012, 01:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by USMCmatt

My now ex and I went through something just like this. She started taking the meds and this sweet compassionate lovey dubby girl turned into a cold shell of herself. Told me the spark was gone. She completely shut off emotionally it seemed. She still loved me and still does, but she is stepping down from 20mg to 10mg right now and I noticed a very slight improvement right before we split up. This of course made her upset because she felt judged and analyzed. My heart hurts so much now as it has only been a few days. I have slowly started to move out and it hurts. I have high hopes we will get through this as the breakup was very calm and more like an official break. Not so much a breakup. We will see though...time will tell.

You can check the thread I created a few weeks ago called Citralopram is ruining my relationship.

Thank you, I will read it. I didnt know I had a message here. I wish you well.

05-01-2012, 07:41 AM	#1
angelhigh Join Date: Apr 2012 Posts: 10	What happened to my guy My guy, who I was with for 2 years, was sweet, passionate, extremely emotional, and very much in love with me. He was my world. He would always call, tex, and wanted to see me. Things were great. He went on paxil for anxiety, 20mg and in 2 weeks told me he was having trouble expressing emotion. He actually couldn't talk about feelings he said. He was always a feeling man, but did cry a lot. He cut back to 10mg and seemed OK and was more in love then ever. Everything was fine for a week. Then he went up to 40mg, he said he felt depressed. A couple of weeks later I didn't even know him. He was so shut down, mean, defensive, yelled, never called, didn't want sex and if he did, he wanted it quick. One day he actually faked an orgasm, he later admitted. That one I still can't believe. I looked into his eyes one day and I swear it was as though he had no soul. I am in a healing profession and I could feel some bad energy. I ended the relationship after 2 months of him being on this drug. He was treating me terrible. I have been depressed ever since. I had to end it, he wasnt at home, the man I knew was not there. He was scaring me the way he was acting. I was so hoping he would get off the paxil and come back. It has been 3 months and I can't believe that drug turned him so cold. He told me paxil took his depression away and it helped his anxiety. He even told me he had fantasies of killing his dad and watching his guts splat. That is why I ended it and he seemed to care less. I never heard from him again. He is in a new relationship he started 8 weeks after me, and all falling in love with her. Wow, he barely took a breather. I was told this from a friend. I don't get it, I thought this paxil kept you from falling in love? Why did he change so fast toward me? For some reason I can't move on. Can anyone say anything to help clear my head. I miss the man I loved.

05-01-2012, 04:50 PM	#3
angelhigh Join Date: Apr 2012 Posts: 10	Re: What happened to my guy Thank you. I think I understand. I have been holding this in for over 3 months and I am bursting with grief. It blows, I think I just need to vent. I told my friends, but all they say is if he cant feel emotion then how is he in love with someone else. I keep it all bottled in. I just want to move on, but I have become obsessed with this. I wish I never let him go, but I seen my sister go through this and her husband killed himself. My other sister divorced her husband after 18 years of these drugs. He just kept cheating. I never seen anyone change like my guy did. When he started to talk about killing his father I got freaked out. He would laugh a sick laugh. He threatened me, but then he said he was kidding, that was unlike him. He seemed so cold. I thought for sure if I ended it he would come back. He has never did. I feel like garbage tossed. Thanks for writting. I really appreciate it!!!!!!!!!

05-01-2012, 04:56 PM	#4
angelhigh Join Date: Apr 2012 Posts: 10	Re: What happened to my guy How long does the new last? Is there a chance the new will wear off and he will come back, or does he move on to another new like my brother in law kept doing. he he. Is that what this drug does? On again, off again, hot cold?

05-01-2012, 07:05 PM	#5
Charlie Join Date: Nov 2005 Posts: 8,271	Re: What happened to my guy I wish I could tell you what he's going to do but there is no certainty to the behavior and the time table where these drugs are concerned. If he's on 40 now and he was having trouble at 20 I'd guess the roughest road for him is still ahead. I'd guess he'll become manic if he's not already and create lots of problems for himself. __________________ The truth is the truth even if no one believes it, and a lie is a lie even if everyone believes it." Knowledge speaks ....... Wisdom listens Charlie www.ThePaxilProtest.com

05-01-2012, 09:39 PM	#6
Paxilalmostkilledme Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Montreal, QC Vancouver, BC Posts: 653	Re: What happened to my guy I was that guy, once upon a time. This will probably feel like a really bad dream once he gets off paxil and returns to himself. I wonder how many relationships have ended because of ssri's...I wish you the best. __________________ Paxil - 2000-2006 40mgs, weight gain of 50 pounds tapered for one month as I had to get off due to behavior issues. late Dec 2006....last paxil 3 months of major w/d. supplements: b-complex, mags, fish oil, 5htp, vit c "Your Mileage WILL Vary" should be stamped across every drug dispensed. Your doc shouldn't poo-poo your reaction. You live inside your body. You know what's happening in there.

05-02-2012, 10:03 AM	#7
angelhigh Join Date: Apr 2012 Posts: 10	Re: What happened to my guy I doubt he will quit paxil, he said he loved it. He did seem manic at times on it, but other times he seemed quiet, blank and cold. I real appreciate your advice. We were getting along so well until he went on this drug, then he could care less weather we talked or not.

05-02-2012, 10:07 AM	#8
angelhigh Join Date: Apr 2012 Posts: 10	Re: What happened to my guy P.S. He is also on Xanax at night to sleep. I don't take drugs, but I am guessing that is bad. I am thinking about talking to a therapist. I thought for sure he would have come back by now, not fall in love with someone else.

05-02-2012, 10:10 AM	#9
angelhigh Join Date: Apr 2012 Posts: 10	Re: What happened to my guy How many months before you see changes that are worse then he is having? You mean it get worse in time on this stuff? Your brain will not get use to it? In the beginning of him taking it, he was doing 60-80mg day. His doctor told him to stop that.

05-05-2012, 07:39 AM	#10
Charlie Join Date: Nov 2005 Posts: 8,271	Re: What happened to my guy Was he prescribed 60 - 80mg per day or did he just take that much? If he just took it the Dr in my opinion should have taken him completely off. It could get worse for him but it may not there isn't any way to tell before it happens. I suspect it will because of the behavior changes you wrote about but I don't know that for sure. When I say worse I'm talking about doing things that are more out of character and maybe some excessive spending that gets him into financial trouble. I hope I'm wrong!!!! __________________ The truth is the truth even if no one believes it, and a lie is a lie even if everyone believes it." Knowledge speaks ....... Wisdom listens Charlie www.ThePaxilProtest.com

05-05-2012, 07:58 AM	#11
angelhigh Join Date: Apr 2012 Posts: 10	Re: What happened to my guy His doctor started him with 20 and in a week he himself increased it to 40. Then after 2 weeks he would take it twice a day. I know he is not sleeping and he is eating a lot. A friend told me that. He does not even acknowledge that I ever existed. As a matter of fact he is telling others that I am bipolar and he broke up with me, which is a lie. I am such a quiet laid back person, I do not even drink. I am starting to move on, I have no choice. I just needed to know what happened to his emotions. We were to marry, we had all these plans! Now he is in love with another woman after 8 weeks! I wonder of one day he comes off paxil if he will call, but I wont hold my breath. I will miss the man I was with, but that guy is gone. Thank you Charlie for writing. I have read some of the other post and I realize now that the paxil has poisoned.

05-05-2012, 07:45 PM	#12
USMCmatt Join Date: Apr 2012 Posts: 13	Re: What happened to my guy My now ex and I went through something just like this. She started taking the meds and this sweet compassionate lovey dubby girl turned into a cold shell of herself. Told me the spark was gone. She completely shut off emotionally it seemed. She still loved me and still does, but she is stepping down from 20mg to 10mg right now and I noticed a very slight improvement right before we split up. This of course made her upset because she felt judged and analyzed. My heart hurts so much now as it has only been a few days. I have slowly started to move out and it hurts. I have high hopes we will get through this as the breakup was very calm and more like an official break. Not so much a breakup. We will see though...time will tell. You can check the thread I created a few weeks ago called Citralopram is ruining my relationship.

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