If my wife shows up have her call me!

[Sadme]

IRDC - That is just so awful, there is no way i'd leave my ill / recovering child.... I'm so sorry you are in this situation, it must have been heartbreaking. No wonder you are crying.... its so hard to accept the difference in the person isnt it? Its a daily battle. I hope you are ok!

[iwantpeace]

IRDC, i'm so sorry you're going through all this. It is truly terrible.

In all honesty, at this point - I would tell her that you intend to use your mother and will be bringing the baby to your mother when she is with you - that you believe that being with a grandparent is better than a sitter. That being said - if she refuses to drive the extra 15 minutes for your mother then she can pay for the sitter herself.

Im so sorry you're going through this.

[Ireallydocare]

Went to a followup appointment today for the baby...she is doing great!! I was observing the out of character expressions and the very direct nature of my once wife telling the doctor not to question the growth of the baby because she is in the low end of the curve yet still normal...just petit. I did not say one word. I could not believe what I was seeing and hearing. I was only thinking about how the ad's where at work here. Today was a drugs for sure day! I hate what has happened and hope one day things will become somewhat normal again.

[Ireallydocare]

So I have been up and down the last couple of weeks, I keep cycling because I really miss my wife and what we had. Sometimes we would wake in the morning and just laugh at nothing and we also had a connection when doing silly stuff. Things that have been said and done over the last year keep haunting me and of course the oppinions of others both who understand and those that don't.

I keep having dreams about different things involving my wife both good and bad...I love her and sometimes feel very sick. Today is a pitty party that started with remembering two dreams about her. The worst part is not knowing if she is still taking the drugs.

[Ireallydocare]

Back to missing my wife, I am wondering if she is off the drug. She actually talked to me in the morning the other day and was telling me things that were going on with her work. I feel she is starting to feel the impact of reality, new full time job, trying to be a mother and living by herself. I know one thing about her and that is she absolutely cannot be alone. Someone is always with her when I see her at her house.

Anyway the day she was talking to me we were at the pediatricians and later that day we went to mediation. While there the monster appeared! Very cruel and focused only on what she wants to keep to her plan. I can't believe how much she has changed into a self-centered a-hole.

I hate being on this roller coaster and want the divorce to be final so I don't have to deal with it anymore. Her brother called my sister and was asking questions. These questions are only answerable by me. I told my W that she needs to tell her brother to call me direct; he apparently thinks I don't want to talk because I did not respond to his last email. I did not respond because he was worried about what I wanted to talk about and was not sure if he could...and I quote "enter that room". Of course I did not respond!! The room I am in has burning walls, the floor has crumbled beneath me and I am faced with no options. I am supposed to worry about what he might feel? I guess a-hole runs in the family.

I am so sad this is all happening and fear the pain my daughter might suffer when she becomes aware of the substance abuse and how it comes first.

It also seems all my W is worried about is how and what I might be talking about in front of my daughter. She thinks that when I am in certain company, I trash talk her in front of the baby....This is her priority? I have said in front of our co counselor a few times not to insult my character! Besides I have been working with my daughter to get her to say Mama...

Honestly who is this person occupying my wife’s skin??

[Ireallydocare]

I beieve I stated before that I was telling my wife I was trying to limit my contact with Mike for a bout two years because of his negative influence and outlook, if not I was. Anyway she was over last night to drop off our daughter. She was talking to me about some recent events and I swear it was as though Mike was standing there speaking. I told her she sounded like him and she said "that is ridiculous". I can't believe how much she has changed.

[Ireallydocare]

Can someone tell me how when my wife is face to face we seem to go right to the boiling point, however when she is texting me there are windows of someone I see to know? I have so much trouble with this and it is messing with my head. I miss her so much and people use don't get it....and neither do I at times.

[Sadme]

Hi IRDC
Havent been around for a while so didn't see this... just wanted to say I hope you are ok. You are grieving for what was and that is so painful. I have found the only way to get an acceptable 'relationship' with my ex is to constantly reinforce my boundaries and put some emotional distance between us..... so difficult I know but I couldnt keep being pulled into that loop of what might have been - it was destroying me. Hope you are ok x

[Ireallydocare]

Oh man...my W was telling the baby sitter (who is my good friend) that I am losing weight, because I am seeing someone and I have taken myself off of all the meds I was on for my blood pressure. She was heavy into playing the victim..saying it was my choice that all of this happend. I just could not and can not accept that we want different things. She says I blame her for some things that are going on concerning the baby. I can see that she is combating the feelings she is having by placing blame...it scares me to no end. She is clearly messed up and the reality she lives in must appear like oil and water...very strange!

(sadme hope youre well!)

[Sadme]

Hi irdc, so sorry to read its still so awful. It's so familiar to me. Things get better, you think they are getting better then they don't get their way and the monster appears. Then there's the blame and inability to take responsibility for the damage they've caused... I begged my husband not to go but he had told me to my face that I told him to go. I dread to think what he tells everyone else.
My h is definitely reducing. Things are so
much better. He is able to be a much better support in terms of child are and doesn't mess our child around in terms of visitation. He still clearly loves the single life and I don't think he believes he has done anything wrong so it's not all rosy but things are so much better for me and our child. I hope this gives you some hope things can get better. Sending loads of massive hugs your way x

[Ireallydocare]

Sooooo here we are, it has been a while but I figured I'd update what’s been happening. We have been going through the divorce, she accepts zero responsibility and is telling people I don’t owe him Sh!t. She wants guardianship of the baby because "socially how would it look as a mother if I let him be guardian". That statement alone is costing me thousands! She is also touting "he does not like who I've become". I sent an xmas card to her old work place because her old boss and a few people there are and have supported me. She has not had any drama to thrive on since I only communicate through my lawyer and blew up my phone with how inappropriate that is and you had no right to do that, I thought you have moved on and you are using the baby to get what you need...can you imagine she is having an affair fully blowing up FB with pictures of them together and talking how she and the baby are two happy people and deserve each other, yet she wants to lecture me on inappropriate behavior. I don’t know if she is on the drug still or not but the monster is still present! I am so sad that this is who she is! She is right I don’t like who she has become!

[Sadme]

Originally Posted by Ireallydocare

Sooooo here we are, it has been a while but I figured I'd update what’s been happening. We have been going through the divorce, she accepts zero responsibility and is telling people I don’t owe him Sh!t. She wants guardianship of the baby because "socially how would it look as a mother if I let him be guardian". That statement alone is costing me thousands! She is also touting "he does not like who I've become". I sent an xmas card to her old work place because her old boss and a few people there are and have supported me. She has not had any drama to thrive on since I only communicate through my lawyer and blew up my phone with how inappropriate that is and you had no right to do that, I thought you have moved on and you are using the baby to get what you need...can you imagine she is having an affair fully blowing up FB with pictures of them together and talking how she and the baby are two happy people and deserve each other, yet she wants to lecture me on inappropriate behavior. I don’t know if she is on the drug still or not but the monster is still present! I am so sad that this is who she is! She is right I don’t like who she has become!

Hey buddy! Sorry havent been around for ages... hope things have improved since you posted the above... hope you are ok x

[Ireallydocare]

Been a long road and we are currently fighting over the house. She wants to walk away with zero obligation and contribute nothing. When it concerns her personal finance it becomes "this will affect the baby" when it concerns me our baby is not even a factor. I stand to lose the house which ultimately will affect the baby since she will suffer all of the moving Ill have to do and she couldn't care less. It is so sad that she has become this monster.

[Sunflower22]

I am so sorry for what happened to you and your baby. It's horrible how they mete out these drugs like candy. I can't believe they gave them to a pregnant woman, let alone cocktails, and at those dosages! I don't know if there were latent tendencies in your wife that the drugs released or if they just completely fried her brain and she's basically high all the time now. I don't quite know where to draw the line, either, when it comes to behavioral stuff and what drugs can induce and what they can't. I certainly don't believe they can cause any kind of behavior, but then, I know they can cause drastic changes... Such a disgrace for the medical community, and so tragic that so many people, and families, and children have to suffer because of their cold-blooded greed... I hope things improve for you.