It's getting better and I'm loving it!

Hey all,

I just wanted to send everyone that is still in the first few months of withdrawal some encouragement. I have been off paxil completely for four and a half months now (I took 40 mg for 5 years) and I can see improvements every day. I went through two months of complete hell with extreme and non-stop shakiness and trembling and heart palpitations and dizziness and twithcing and.... you know... and now, within the last few weeks, my symptoms have started to dissipate dramatically. I still can't exercise without feeling shaky, but I can now sleep through the night, laugh, enjoy the day, catch myself in a fit of paxil rage and put a lid on it, not spill a glass of water every day, and.. most importantly, sometimes I even forget for a few hours I am going through paxil withdrawal. I am definitely not 100% back to myself again, but it is pure bliss to see progress.

I found these items most helpful so far:

1. prayer
2. protein isolate
3. melatonin to sleep (all natural)
4. a good vitamin and mineral supplement and
5. almonds for a snack when I'm feeling hypoglycemic

Of course, I reserve the right to send out sappy emails if I go through another bout of withdrawal seeking everybody's encouragement, but I just wanted everyone to know that I am starting to see a light at the end of the tunnel. I was so concerned that I would feel the way I did at my worse for a year and a half because that is how long withdrawal can take. But I think even if it takes that long, it becomes way more bearable so that you feel like you can manage it.

I think we should all occassionally email about our progress to encourage each other and look back on our progress when we have little bouts of bad withdrawal in the future.

Breeberoo

[silence4now]

So glad you're feeling better. This is what makes it worth going through all this crap - we know its the last time, huh? I'm now at about 3.5 months off and I'm sleeping good most nights. This is my victory!

[scotty]

Breeboro, its amazing to hear the experiences of others coming back to the world!! I watched Ryan come back from slashing his wrist to watching him walk out the door to go out with a carload of friends tonight. The human spirit(and body) is an amazing instrument!!

Keep on moving forward!

[jay72]

Breeberoo.....and it will probably get better still...i think it probably took 1 1/4 years to get back to normal (doesnt happen in a straight line tho)...so keep up the good work!

[lifeisbeautiful222]

That's great! I'm feeling better every day too. I am starting to get my energy back too which is great. It feels good to want to be productive again and do things.

[darrennyc]

i have to say i am feeling better today as well. i notice that if i dont fixate on how bad i am feeling and thinking about it i dont notice it as much... my therapist had a good observation last night... and he didnt mean it in a critical way.. he said "it sounds like taking meds. and thinking about it has made it a full-time job for you.... it shouldnt be the center of your life, everyday... unless it is a huge problem"... you know what... he was right... i was so focused on it that i noticed every little thing.

so after i saw a movie "the manchurian candidate" (not a great movie n terms of feeling less stressed...LOL... the main plot is about modifying the brain....how ironic!!) and i didnt think about myself for 2 hours... it was a nice, liberating feeling... i came home and i actually went to bed without taking my ambien... in over 3 months... of course im tired today but that is a small victory of sorts.

way to go everyone.... congrats. hope today you are feeling just as good are just a little better.... progress not perfection, right?

[Scott]

the hardest thing to accept, especially with me, has been the healing timeline. I've been cutting drugs for almost 4 years now.

Thanks for all the replies guys! I also agree it helps not to focus too much on the withdrawal. I'm an attorney so I really can't afford to focus on how I am feeling all day long and still perform at my job. The more work I have to concentrate on, the less I find myself stressing about withdrawal (and work deadline stress is nothing compared to paxil withdrawal). I have even taken up online scrabble (I know that makes me sound like a huge dork, but oh well) in the evenings when I get home and feel like focusing on every little symptom. Concentrating on something else helps me be less stressed. Of course I'm upset that I was misinformed about paxil withdrawal, but i am not going to let the past ruin my today. I'm excited how much stronger we will all be after tackling paxil withdrawal.

Breeberoo

I'm also feeling a million times better being off the paxil. well i'm not completely off, but I was on 40mg for 4 years, and now I'm on 3mg per day, cutting by 1mg per week now, so i'll be off in 3 weeks. It's hard to explain what's so good about not being on it anymore, but it's definitely more than getting thru the withdrawal isn't it? It's like everything is more colorful and interesting than it was on Paxil, like work is worth doing well and play time is worth making the most of. Good for you for getting off it. I'll be joining you in the "recovered" club soon enough

[Ariella]

That's so great Breeberoo! You punched through the muck! You're right, you may have some bad days here and there, but don't let them fool you. They are what they are: momentary things, and cannot inform you of what the future holds. Let the future be the result of ALL the todays, and not just one.

Scott, you have been on one LOOOOONG road. But it's only as long, as long as you're counting. Damn difficult to thing to not do, I know. Maybe it will help if you don't look at it as years lost or gained, but just years lived. That's an achievement in itself. Something worth congratulating.

[jay72]

breeberoo, I'm just not too sure about the on-line scrabble - apparently that is not too good for paxil withdrawl....he he!

[KyBobbi]

I have even taken up online scrabble (I know that makes me sound like a huge dork, but oh well) in the evenings when I get home and feel like focusing on every little symptom. Concentrating on something else helps me be less stressed. Of course I'm upset that I was misinformed about paxil withdrawal, but i am not going to let the past ruin my today. I'm excited how much stronger we will all be after tackling paxil withdrawal.

Breeberoo

You've said a mouthful Breeberoo.... ......as long as we dwell on the past, we'll never move forward. You go, girl/guy You've got such a good attitude and that's a mighty thing to have!! The past is the past, and we can't change it. You sure got that right. Bless you!!!

I don't post often, but I read them, so hope I'm doing this "quote" thingie right? haha (I failed at my attempt to withdraw, , and it took me 11 months...but I"m NOT defeated, I will try again.) All of you are
stronger than you think, and deserve a long, healthy life now. You're to be admired, an overcomer, you've conquered one h--l of a demon!!

Be blessed!!
Bobbi

[KyBobbi]

Guess I screwed that post up good.

[KyBobbi]

Darrennyc:

I can't believe I'm gonna try this again.
"Posted: Wed Aug 11, 2004 9:24 am Post subject:

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i have to say i am feeling better today as well. i notice that if i dont fixate on how bad i am feeling and thinking about it i dont notice it as much... my therapist had a good observation last night... and he didnt mean it in a critical way.. he said "it sounds like taking meds. and thinking about it has made it a full-time job for you.... it shouldnt be the center of your life, everyday... unless it is a huge problem"... you know what... he was right... i was so focused on it that i noticed every little thing."

Good for your therapist, Darrennyc, and you didn't let it offend you either, you accepted it and ran with it. Yeeaaaa, you saw what it was doing to you...and now that you won't be fixating on it all day, you'll move ahead. I've learned that the next try, I'll certainly go into it a whole new way and not obsessing over it will be my first goal. Thanks for sharing what your therapist said. Hang in there!

Be blessed!!

Bobbi

Hi all,

Just got back form a weekend trip to Las Vegas with my husband and saw all your awesome replies. Thanks for the support. This board has been such a strength to me. This weekend I was in loud, bright, smoke-infested casinos and I stopped for a second and realized that my brain was actually handling such sensory overload very well. A month ago, I would have been so dizzy, jumpy, and averse to noise that I would have curled up in my hotel room and watched television all weekend. It is seeing progress like this that lifts my spirits. And I want to encourage all of you who have tried to withdraw and been unsuccessful... I tried twice before I successfully did it. It takes a lot of sticking power, but it is so worth it in the end. I still have bad days, but when I have them I compare them to my worse days a month or two ago and know they are getting better.

Thank you all... you rock

Breeberoo

It's really encoraging to me to hear that a person who is a lawyer, can hold their life together while going through all this garbage. Iam a law student, and ever since this has happend have thought to myself "how am I ever going to finish school and be succesful if iam this crazy?" So hearing your story really helps me,

Congrats by the way,

Brett,

I'm glad I can encourage you. In some ways, being an attorney really helps. I have my own office and I can shut the door when I'm feeling down and want to cry. The secretaries in my office don't have that luxury because they are in cubicles. It is hard at times, but I am managing just fine. And you can too. The most important thing is to work for people you respect and who respect you. I don't share with any of my colleagues my withdrawal hell becauase usually people can't empathize unless they have been through it. I don't want them to think I am exaggerating and I definitely don't want pity. I just try to get my job done one day at a time. Enjoy law school... that is a great time in life.

Breeberoo