Yer Basic Depression

[MizzT]

Hi Everyone.
im not even sure i need to vent. Ive just got the blues today. really really bad blues and no reason for it. im just feelin' sad. down.
I popped a couple fishies with my eggs this morning. maybe a little extra EPA and DHA might help. hope i dont start belching fish taste. i hate that.

Im going away on friday for the weekend for some music and healing rituals. going up to Telluride CO. it should be beautiful. I wish my sweet hubby was going with me. Im going alone but will meet friends up there. I think going alone brings me down sometimes but it will be fun once i get there. THE one thing that bums me out is not being with my husband for the weekend....im such a sap that way.

I will try to do my little paxil-friends meditation on saturday night and send all y'all some love and healing energy from the show. And i am going to try to sell some stuff and do some tattooing and make some money too!

Its all such good stuff....and i have this weird anxiety/depression a few days before i go do it. Not quite sure what it all is and where it comes from. Not sure if its not having confidence in myself. or being afraid...and if so ...of what??? And even tho i have been really feeling very good lately... i still get these days of being really down. i suppose its somewhat normal but its still not easy.

anyway....thanks for the vent space.

much love to all
Beverly

[jeff225]

Beverly,

Even the so-called "strongest" of us get down and have bad days from time to time. We are no exceptions. None of us are superbeings. We have to accept a little sour mixed in with the sweet.

Sounds like you have an excellent weekend awaiting you. Your gonna do just fine. Have fun, take some positive energy with you and then bring some back our way.

All the best,
Jeff

[dar7726]

Sorry to hear you are down Beverly.... Get away to a quiet place and do a little deep breathing, meditation, and EFT... then turn on some music and dance your butt off to get you going for your weekend.


I know you will do fine. Have fun. Wish I were going with you.... LOL
But I have the music playing in the background now.


All my best,
Darlene

[MizzT]

Thanks Jeff and Darlene.
I think the fish oil really helped. I might just pop a few more in a little while. We also gave my dog a bath and mu husband got SOAKED! I LMAO!!

And Dar...you are right....i neet to crank some tunes and pack!
I have to make some CDs and send them out to some of you folks to hear this band. that really picks up my mood.

And because i am going alone...i have room for my Hula Hoop! and all sorts of toys and fun stuff. Cheese is a big hula hoop band and this is an outdoor show(s) in a field....perfect for hooping. Yes...even my big ol' butt can hula hoop!
See....you need a really big hoop for us old folks. they are way easier.
*i will take a picture and upload it when i get back*

So im really workin' on it today....to just feel good and keep things rollin'

Thanks again for your replies!
Beverly

[rdjanis]

Beverly, tomorrow is a new day, and you sound like you got quite the weekend ahead of you. Have fun, don't let the fact that hubby is at home ruin your weekend, enjoy yourself, and it will be that much more fun when you return home to him.

[MizzT]

WhAt??? I Can'T HeAr ya.....the MuSiC is too LOUD!

im almost packed and i dont leave for 2 days. I found out i might have to hike my stuff in. YIKES! Lug is more like it. I have so many ideas! so many plans....the hula hoop does not fit in the backpack.
rock hammers and chisels.

FACT: when the telluride mines closed in 1978 they had produced $250,000,000 in metals.

I can make some awesome stuff with crystals from up there!!!
rdjanis: but im leavin' the geologist home.....see
i know...i know....it will still be fun.

I keep pushing myself as i get stronger to go on these adventures and have fun. trying to keep the anxiety down before them is the challenge. the music helps!! and im emailing back and forth with the friends i am meeting. I wish you could all go.

[silence4now]

There is an intense kind of emptiness and tiredness that comes with depression. I think we get scared that we will get lost in our emptiness and be in the wilderness forever. But like Jeff said, even the best of us get down -- it's a natural stage in the eb and flow of life.

I'm on the upswing of my worst depression ever. I can look back now and say that God was trying to tell me something. At first I was mad and frustrated that I couldn't do all the things I wanted to do. Soon after, I quit judging myself and just gave into it - cob webs and dust never looked so good. Very slowly, the tension and anxiety turned into rest and peace. I thank God that He set me on my butt for a while. That's what I needed.

Sounds like you have ta really nice weekend ahead. I'm envious. I hope you are able to rest and recover.

[MizzT]

Originally Posted by silence4now

There is an intense kind of emptiness and tiredness that comes with depression. I think we get scared that we will get lost in our emptiness and be in the wilderness forever.

Sounds like you have ta really nice weekend ahead. I'm envious. I hope you are able to rest and recover.

Thanks Silence.
yes...and emptiness. a lump in my throat. pressure in my head. and mainly in the morning. it doesnt quite approach anxiety very often anymore....but like i cant catch my breath.
i guess the tunes go on loud again and i need to go start cooking food to take with me. just have to get myself busy and blow off the intensity that builds in me.

I know this anxiety is attached somehow to my ex husband and doing these things with him. and/or not feeling secure and confident in myself. I hope that by making myself go...because i know i will have fun and it will be an adventure....but more than that i hope to overcome the fear and depression of past events that comes up.
never easy...but worth it in the long run.

I found info on the food drive and an AWESOME photo of the venue i will be at. Its worth a look!!
http://www.consciousalliance.org/eve...ellurrride.htm

Much love
Beverly