Tapering progress so far...

[Timinjapan]

Songbird, it is totally understandable that longterm financial stress can fuel anxiety and depression. Obviously, the dose of paroxetine you are on now is below "therapeutic" and can only be considered a maintenance dose. So it won't keep out the furies or insulate you from fretting about your troubles.

It is incredible that a 2% cut in dosage could give you so many symptoms, although I don't discount that as being the case, as I've also had major reactions to small changes of dose. But I think the general issues of financial and economic insecurity are a major cause of your depression. Also, perimenopause symptoms can mimic those of anxiety to the point where it's difficult to tell which is which. (Although most doctors deny men go through a menopause, some of us certainly endure hormone fluctuations that resemble same.)

[chiropteran]

Aw Ms Tui, so sorry to hear you're having such a tough time of things lately. No-one is happy when the tuis cry!
I am glad that the tears are cathartic sometimes though, that's a small something.
And you ARE still coping, even though it sounds like it's hard to believe sometimes. You're still here, and you're hanging on.
This whole thing is such a crapshoot, there are days when I wish I could bundle up everyone who is suffering and take us all for coffee somewhere to cry and yell and vent and talk together.
I know I'm pretty much a stranger, but if you ever want to just hear a friendly voice or vent to someone who understands, I'm only in Welly, can PM you my number any time.

[Songbird]

Thanks, everyone! Chiro, I read your journal regularly, though I don't always post as sometimes I can't think of anything to say.

Yes, I believe it is definitely a lovely mixture of life stressors, hormonal changes and withdrawal. The 5mg dose has always been the difficult spot for me, I believe that for my brain this is a threshold where the drug stops 'working', whatever it is that it is doing in there. I suppose one good thing about this difficult time is I am getting to practice coping skills on a regular basis.

[Junior]

SB don't discount the effects of menopause. When you think about it - many of the hormones / neurotransmitters affected are the same ones affected by w/d. Consider what brain organs like the pituitary and hypothalamus control. Ahh.. I don't know how to say what I want to say. I just have this concept in my mind. What I am getting at though is that menopause may be greatly INCREASING the effects of w/d. Could be worth trying a herbal 'remedy' to lessen the symptoms?

[Songbird]

Originally Posted by Junior

What I am getting at though is that menopause may be greatly INCREASING the effects of w/d.

Hi Junior. Yes, I agree, although I was thinking of it the other way around - because this drug screws with hormones, w/d could be increasing the effects of perimenopause. For example, over time as I've tapered, my PMS has got gradually worse and worse. Either way it is a rather troublesome interaction.

Originally Posted by Junior

Could be worth trying a herbal 'remedy' to lessen the symptoms?

I am trying Vitex capsules, supposed to be good for balancing the pituitary and helping with PMS and menopause stuff. They say it can take about 3 months to see improvement so I have a little more time to wait to see whether it helps.

[Junior]

Yeah you're right. It's hard to say which alters what but I guess it doesn't really matter. It's an interaction.

I wish you well with the Vitex. Hope it works for you.
Some other remedies I've heard of are Black Cohosh and Evening Primrose Oil.

[Honeysuckle]

Originally Posted by Songbird

.... Hormones have gone crazy, could be partly perimenopause I suppose but I'm sure w/d is also a factor, as we all know it screws up hormones. Some quite bad depression, mood swings, tearfulness (some days I just feel like crying all day), nausea and bouts of mild anxiety. Generally I feel a little shaky emotionally and an overall lack of confidence. I've always had a problem (pre-SSRI) with lack of self-confidence, but it is hard to know whether this is me going back to how I was before or is it w/d making it even worse than before. Mostly sleep has been good, which is a blessing!

...Anyway, I am coping, although it is like a roller-coaster ride. Some days I feel good, others I'm a mess, some days I'm all over the place during just one day. I cry a lot which seems to help release a lot of the pain. Sometimes I feel better afterwards, other times I just feel numb afterwards which is still an improvement as at least it is relief from the pain. I sometimes wonder if I got a job, would I be able to cope with it, but other times I think it might be good for me to have something to focus on to distract me from all this....

Songbird wow I could have written most of your post and therefore feel for you. sMy hormones are totally out whack, I suspect have been for a while and now are even wonkier due to w/d. I've just had bloods taken today for my naturopath to start looking into my levels (have also done saliva tests). She has also mentioned peri-menopause to me despite only being 39. I'm now beginning to wonder if my hormones have been screwed for years since I have been on Aropax for so long.

I too wonder about working, as I ask myself how I would cope with having a child....part of me agrees that it's good for distraction..... (a job and baby!) but least if work is a bit much you can give it up-unlike a baby :/
I say give it a go- I've just applied for some part-time care-work last week and enquired with another agency today. Scary, but perhaps a move in the right direction.

Hope the roller coaster levels out somewhat for you sooner rather than later

[Jopro]

I think hormones maybe a major issue for me too. Ive only just started a symptoms diary to see if theres a pattern. But even if there is, ive developed such an issue with pills and potions that i cant see myself taking anything. I did try a couple of supplements and felt a whole lot worse. so now the only thing i touch is an occasional emergency paracetamol.
Id love to but im scared to.
Ive heard it gets harder as it gets lower so the siver lining is in the fact that you are low enough for it to be hard!! Rubbish silver lining a know. I think i can say for us all you have the back up of all PP. You are not alone. Jo xxx

[Songbird]

Thanks, Honeysuckle and Joprozac, it is good to know I'm not alone with my scary hormones, even though I wouldn't wish it on anyone, you know what I mean.