Miriza's Journey back to herself - Page 30

miriza · 02-03-2013, 03:26 PM

Took a nap today and did not wake up as toxic as usual...I hope I can keep napping so time goes even faster.

All, please remember to vote daily for my painter and THANKS!

My friends and supporters, my painting "Red rock" has moved to the monthly voting gallery in the Daniel Smith art contest. I know it's a lot to ask but please consider if you can vote for it every day of the month of February. I'll send a reminder every day. Thanks a lot for your support. The monthly prize is a $50 gift certificate for Daniel Smith products, which is good but what I really want is for it to go to the annual voting so that it can be seen by JUDGES then.
http://www.danielsmithblog.com/?page...#view/0/981489

Iggy131313 · 02-03-2013, 03:30 PM

voted! when you say toxic, is that toxic in the body or mind?

miriza · 02-03-2013, 03:37 PM

Iggy, I would wake up in a RAGE with my heart beating fast and agitated or in a panic. It wasn't that bad this time around.

Iggy131313 · 02-03-2013, 03:41 PM

thats another good sign darlling, I had that sort of feeling today

well, intense agiation and irritability, I was trying so hard not to be mean, I was playing mario in the wii with my son and was VERY snippy but managed to keep it to snippy.....what I wanted to do was run out onto the road screaming and throwing bricks at houses...so thats quite some self control eh?

The progress is too small to notice but you are moving forward, at a snails pace, but it IS happening, couple of months and you will be at the 18 month mark...I hope it brings you a good improvement.

Love to you my sweet brave friend

miriza · 02-04-2013, 06:59 AM

Where did the love go??? I want to love again....I want to go back to those times I held my itty bitty babies in my arms and felt so much love!!!! Why is it all pain, sadness, anger???

How could they take me from my bed with my child that night and send me straight to Hell and break that bond???? Why? When I was so happy and so in love!!!! I want to love that way again please God!!!!

miriza · 02-11-2013, 03:58 PM

Ok, fans and friends, here we go again. I entered a new oil pastel painting ("Pink Trio") into the Daniel Smith art contest AGAIN. Could you please vote again daily for the entire week?
Thanks!!!!
http://www.danielsmithblog.com/?page...w/7616/1063171

caperjackie · 02-11-2013, 04:51 PM

Oh that is beautiful Miriza - I can almost smell their fragrance!

miriza · 02-26-2013, 06:33 AM

I guess people not updating their journals doesnt necessarily mean that they got better and moved on...
In my case, it means, no change, no progress, nothing to report...

Brassmonkey · 02-26-2013, 11:22 AM

Even if there is nothing to report, it's nice hearing from you.

((((((((((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))))))

miriza · 03-04-2013, 08:17 PM

Hi all! The monthly voting for my painting has just started. You can vote every 24 hours for the entire month of March. Thanks for everyone's support!

Here's the link to vote:
http://www.danielsmithblog.com/?page...view/0/1127431

Regarding me, it's the same...no progress...

miriza · 03-11-2013, 06:55 PM

Still going on for the entire month of March. Thanks for those voting.

Quote:

Originally Posted by miriza

Hi all! The monthly voting for my painting has just started. You can vote every 24 hours for the entire month of March. Thanks for everyone's support!

Here's the link to vote:
http://www.danielsmithblog.com/?page...view/0/1127431

Regarding me, it's the same...no progress...

<<---DITTO

Wld · 03-11-2013, 07:06 PM

I'm voting

but I'd love to hear about you. How are you my dear?

miriza · 06-06-2013, 10:34 AM

20 months off--still in deep Hell...

Brassmonkey · 06-06-2013, 11:19 AM

Hi Miriza- I've been wondering about you, thanks for checking in. I'm so sorry to hear that things are still going poorly, I was hoping that no news was good news. How did your pictures fair in the voting?

((((((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))))

markca · 06-06-2013, 02:26 PM

Hang in there Miriza . So sorry to hear things are still bad. Im sure your patience will pay off soon.
Wishing you big improvements.

caperjackie · 06-06-2013, 02:31 PM

Glad to hear from you Miriza but sorry things are still bad. Hope you get some major improvements soon ........

KittyQ · 06-06-2013, 02:41 PM

Miriza,
I was wondering about you as well and hoping your absense was because you were feeling better. So sorry to hear you're still in the midst of battle. It's ironic that when we feel bad it's because the healing is going on. Seems backwards doesn't it?

Sending you good wishes and a faster recovery....take care.

KittyQ

FJ929 · 06-06-2013, 04:13 PM

Sucks I'm sorry. Another 4months and it's 2 years let's hope you are much better by then.

miriza · 06-09-2013, 12:16 PM

Thanks everyone for your nice comments...still struggling a lot but surviving...can't wait to find myself again. ((((Hugs))) to everyone.

I entered another art competition on FB. If anyone wants to vote for my painting it's here:
https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?f...type=3&theater

Thanks, miriza

aberdeen · 06-09-2013, 04:00 PM

sorry you're still fighting Miriza. I think the second year is better. I'm not in a great place lately either, neigher here nor there really, but not as good as I had been. Hang in there!

02-03-2013, 03:26 PM	#726
miriza Join Date: Sep 2011 Posts: 1,568	Re: Miriza's Journey back to herself Took a nap today and did not wake up as toxic as usual...I hope I can keep napping so time goes even faster. All, please remember to vote daily for my painter and THANKS! My friends and supporters, my painting "Red rock" has moved to the monthly voting gallery in the Daniel Smith art contest. I know it's a lot to ask but please consider if you can vote for it every day of the month of February. I'll send a reminder every day. Thanks a lot for your support. The monthly prize is a $50 gift certificate for Daniel Smith products, which is good but what I really want is for it to go to the annual voting so that it can be seen by JUDGES then. http://www.danielsmithblog.com/?page...#view/0/981489 __________________ Poly-drugged since May 2011 (14 meds in 4 months-paradox. reactions to all). From mild anxiety to almost psychosis on meds. IT IS THE MEDS, NOT ME! Elavil: 75 mg -> 37.5 (12d) Imipramine: 37.5 mg -> 0 (1 mo,10/08/11): akathisia! 5 mg -> 0 (1 mo,11/29/11) Now in w/d hell and missing my old self. Please go to http://www.askapatient.com and leave a review of your med(s) and w/d experience.

02-03-2013, 03:30 PM	#727
Iggy131313 Join Date: Sep 2012 Posts: 1,720	Re: Miriza's Journey back to herself voted! when you say toxic, is that toxic in the body or mind? __________________ On citalopram 40mg/20mg july 2009 - FEB 2012 - 2.5 years. CT stop. Restarted Celexa july 2012 after 5 months off - awful reaction kindling 6 weeks - 20mg/1 week - 10mg/2 days - 20mg/5 days - 30mg 3 days - 20mg 3 weeks 10mg 4 days 8mg (didnt realise this was 8, thought it was 10) 2 weeks 6mg 2 weeks 4mg 5 weeks - 2mg 3 weeks - 1.6mg 3 weeks - 1.4mg 16th Jan - 1.2mg

02-03-2013, 03:37 PM	#728
miriza Join Date: Sep 2011 Posts: 1,568	Re: Miriza's Journey back to herself Iggy, I would wake up in a RAGE with my heart beating fast and agitated or in a panic. It wasn't that bad this time around. __________________ Poly-drugged since May 2011 (14 meds in 4 months-paradox. reactions to all). From mild anxiety to almost psychosis on meds. IT IS THE MEDS, NOT ME! Elavil: 75 mg -> 37.5 (12d) Imipramine: 37.5 mg -> 0 (1 mo,10/08/11): akathisia! 5 mg -> 0 (1 mo,11/29/11) Now in w/d hell and missing my old self. Please go to http://www.askapatient.com and leave a review of your med(s) and w/d experience.

02-03-2013, 03:41 PM	#729
Iggy131313 Join Date: Sep 2012 Posts: 1,720	Re: Miriza's Journey back to herself thats another good sign darlling, I had that sort of feeling today well, intense agiation and irritability, I was trying so hard not to be mean, I was playing mario in the wii with my son and was VERY snippy but managed to keep it to snippy.....what I wanted to do was run out onto the road screaming and throwing bricks at houses...so thats quite some self control eh? The progress is too small to notice but you are moving forward, at a snails pace, but it IS happening, couple of months and you will be at the 18 month mark...I hope it brings you a good improvement. Love to you my sweet brave friend __________________ On citalopram 40mg/20mg july 2009 - FEB 2012 - 2.5 years. CT stop. Restarted Celexa july 2012 after 5 months off - awful reaction kindling 6 weeks - 20mg/1 week - 10mg/2 days - 20mg/5 days - 30mg 3 days - 20mg 3 weeks 10mg 4 days 8mg (didnt realise this was 8, thought it was 10) 2 weeks 6mg 2 weeks 4mg 5 weeks - 2mg 3 weeks - 1.6mg 3 weeks - 1.4mg 16th Jan - 1.2mg

02-04-2013, 06:59 AM	#730
miriza Join Date: Sep 2011 Posts: 1,568	Re: Miriza's Journey back to herself Where did the love go??? I want to love again....I want to go back to those times I held my itty bitty babies in my arms and felt so much love!!!! Why is it all pain, sadness, anger??? How could they take me from my bed with my child that night and send me straight to Hell and break that bond???? Why? When I was so happy and so in love!!!! I want to love that way again please God!!!! __________________ Poly-drugged since May 2011 (14 meds in 4 months-paradox. reactions to all). From mild anxiety to almost psychosis on meds. IT IS THE MEDS, NOT ME! Elavil: 75 mg -> 37.5 (12d) Imipramine: 37.5 mg -> 0 (1 mo,10/08/11): akathisia! 5 mg -> 0 (1 mo,11/29/11) Now in w/d hell and missing my old self. Please go to http://www.askapatient.com and leave a review of your med(s) and w/d experience.

02-11-2013, 03:58 PM	#731
miriza Join Date: Sep 2011 Posts: 1,568	Re: Miriza's Journey back to herself Ok, fans and friends, here we go again. I entered a new oil pastel painting ("Pink Trio") into the Daniel Smith art contest AGAIN. Could you please vote again daily for the entire week? Thanks!!!! http://www.danielsmithblog.com/?page...w/7616/1063171 __________________ Poly-drugged since May 2011 (14 meds in 4 months-paradox. reactions to all). From mild anxiety to almost psychosis on meds. IT IS THE MEDS, NOT ME! Elavil: 75 mg -> 37.5 (12d) Imipramine: 37.5 mg -> 0 (1 mo,10/08/11): akathisia! 5 mg -> 0 (1 mo,11/29/11) Now in w/d hell and missing my old self. Please go to http://www.askapatient.com and leave a review of your med(s) and w/d experience.

02-11-2013, 04:51 PM	#732
caperjackie Join Date: May 2011 Location: Nova Scotia, Canada Posts: 904	Re: Miriza's Journey back to herself Oh that is beautiful Miriza - I can almost smell their fragrance! __________________ Was on Paxil 20mg for a few years Switched to Paxil 12.5 CR over 10 years ago Total time on Paxil around 14 years 2 failed attempts at cold turkey Tapered for over a year by skipping one dose per week each month Paxil free since April 14th 2011 Still having withdrawal symptoms but getting better LIFE IS GOOD TOTALLY DRUG FREE Supplements - Fish oils, Cal/mag, GABA September 2012 - Supplement free and feeling great

02-26-2013, 06:33 AM	#733
miriza Join Date: Sep 2011 Posts: 1,568	Re: Miriza's Journey back to herself I guess people not updating their journals doesnt necessarily mean that they got better and moved on... In my case, it means, no change, no progress, nothing to report... __________________ Poly-drugged since May 2011 (14 meds in 4 months-paradox. reactions to all). From mild anxiety to almost psychosis on meds. IT IS THE MEDS, NOT ME! Elavil: 75 mg -> 37.5 (12d) Imipramine: 37.5 mg -> 0 (1 mo,10/08/11): akathisia! 5 mg -> 0 (1 mo,11/29/11) Now in w/d hell and missing my old self. Please go to http://www.askapatient.com and leave a review of your med(s) and w/d experience.

02-26-2013, 11:22 AM	#734
Brassmonkey Join Date: Oct 2011 Location: California Posts: 2,207	Re: Miriza's Journey back to herself Even if there is nothing to report, it's nice hearing from you. ((((((((((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))))) __________________ AKA Tom 1994 started 20mg Paxil 1999 updosed to 30mg 2005 updosed to 40mg 2010 started not to work very well 09/2011 CTed from 15oz vodka a night 09/2011 dropped to 36mg 06/2012 dropped to 19mg (past halfway point) 08/2012 dropped to 17.1mg 09/2012 dropped to 15.2mg 11/2012 dropped to 13.8mg 12/2012 dropped to 12.4mg 01/2013 dropped to 11.1mg 03/2013 dropped to 10.0mg 06/2013 dropped to 9.0mg

03-04-2013, 08:17 PM	#735
miriza Join Date: Sep 2011 Posts: 1,568	Re: Miriza's Journey back to herself Hi all! The monthly voting for my painting has just started. You can vote every 24 hours for the entire month of March. Thanks for everyone's support! Here's the link to vote: http://www.danielsmithblog.com/?page...view/0/1127431 Regarding me, it's the same...no progress... __________________ Poly-drugged since May 2011 (14 meds in 4 months-paradox. reactions to all). From mild anxiety to almost psychosis on meds. IT IS THE MEDS, NOT ME! Elavil: 75 mg -> 37.5 (12d) Imipramine: 37.5 mg -> 0 (1 mo,10/08/11): akathisia! 5 mg -> 0 (1 mo,11/29/11) Now in w/d hell and missing my old self. Please go to http://www.askapatient.com and leave a review of your med(s) and w/d experience.

03-11-2013, 07:06 PM	#737
Wld Join Date: Dec 2011 Location: So. CA Posts: 904	Re: Miriza's Journey back to herself I'm voting but I'd love to hear about you. How are you my dear? __________________ Started Celexa 20 mg. 5/2001 Quit Celexa CT 7/15/2011 AD free for 5 mos. Reinstated Celexa 10 mg. 12/14/11 Up to 20mg. 12/21/11 sick, horrible time Down to 10mg. 2/7/12 giving up reinstating 5mg. 2/15/12. 4mg. 2/27/12. 3mg. 3/7/12 2mg. 3/14/12 1mg. 3/21/12 Last dose 3/27/12

06-06-2013, 10:34 AM	#738
miriza Join Date: Sep 2011 Posts: 1,568	Re: Miriza's Journey back to herself 20 months off--still in deep Hell... __________________ Poly-drugged since May 2011 (14 meds in 4 months-paradox. reactions to all). From mild anxiety to almost psychosis on meds. IT IS THE MEDS, NOT ME! Elavil: 75 mg -> 37.5 (12d) Imipramine: 37.5 mg -> 0 (1 mo,10/08/11): akathisia! 5 mg -> 0 (1 mo,11/29/11) Now in w/d hell and missing my old self. Please go to http://www.askapatient.com and leave a review of your med(s) and w/d experience.

06-06-2013, 11:19 AM	#739
Brassmonkey Join Date: Oct 2011 Location: California Posts: 2,207	Re: Miriza's Journey back to herself Hi Miriza- I've been wondering about you, thanks for checking in. I'm so sorry to hear that things are still going poorly, I was hoping that no news was good news. How did your pictures fair in the voting? ((((((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))))) __________________ AKA Tom 1994 started 20mg Paxil 1999 updosed to 30mg 2005 updosed to 40mg 2010 started not to work very well 09/2011 CTed from 15oz vodka a night 09/2011 dropped to 36mg 06/2012 dropped to 19mg (past halfway point) 08/2012 dropped to 17.1mg 09/2012 dropped to 15.2mg 11/2012 dropped to 13.8mg 12/2012 dropped to 12.4mg 01/2013 dropped to 11.1mg 03/2013 dropped to 10.0mg 06/2013 dropped to 9.0mg

06-06-2013, 02:26 PM	#740
markca Join Date: Sep 2010 Location: new zealand Posts: 765	Re: Miriza's Journey back to herself Hang in there Miriza . So sorry to hear things are still bad. Im sure your patience will pay off soon. Wishing you big improvements. __________________ 1995 aropax for 2months ;lost job. 2000 paxil(ie paroxetine) 20 mg for arm pain from keyboard,2 failed attempts to quit, 2010 jan tried a slower taper june 2010 10 mg sept 2010 5mg for 2 weeks 28 sept10 drug free..psych &emot. torture 8 feb 2012 windows of normality appear (16 months) 28 april 12 stabilising (18 months) (what a nightmare) 28 june 12 surveying the damage

06-06-2013, 02:31 PM	#741
caperjackie Join Date: May 2011 Location: Nova Scotia, Canada Posts: 904	Re: Miriza's Journey back to herself Glad to hear from you Miriza but sorry things are still bad. Hope you get some major improvements soon ........ __________________ Was on Paxil 20mg for a few years Switched to Paxil 12.5 CR over 10 years ago Total time on Paxil around 14 years 2 failed attempts at cold turkey Tapered for over a year by skipping one dose per week each month Paxil free since April 14th 2011 Still having withdrawal symptoms but getting better LIFE IS GOOD TOTALLY DRUG FREE Supplements - Fish oils, Cal/mag, GABA September 2012 - Supplement free and feeling great

06-06-2013, 02:41 PM	#742
KittyQ Join Date: May 2009 Location: Tucson, Arizona Posts: 274	Re: Miriza's Journey back to herself Miriza, I was wondering about you as well and hoping your absense was because you were feeling better. So sorry to hear you're still in the midst of battle. It's ironic that when we feel bad it's because the healing is going on. Seems backwards doesn't it? Sending you good wishes and a faster recovery....take care. KittyQ __________________ _______________________________________ CT off 40mg Paxil, Apriil, 2009

06-06-2013, 04:13 PM	#743
FJ929 Join Date: May 2012 Location: Florida Posts: 711	Re: Miriza's Journey back to herself Sucks I'm sorry. Another 4months and it's 2 years let's hope you are much better by then. __________________ Paxil 10mg 2004-2012 7.5mg 4months 5mg. 4months 2.5mg.8 months no wd issues Dropped pax 4-10-12 4-24 WD dizziness, Akathisia, Insomnia 5-9-12 prozac (no relief) 5-22-12 reinstated paxil 2.5mg, Severe confusion, Disorientation, brain fog 6-30-12 Paxil Free 4-7-13 Brain fog, moments of bad disorientation, confusion, memory loss, sever sick feeling, Dizziness, energy rushes, Fish oil

06-09-2013, 12:16 PM	#744
miriza Join Date: Sep 2011 Posts: 1,568	Re: Miriza's Journey back to herself Thanks everyone for your nice comments...still struggling a lot but surviving...can't wait to find myself again. ((((Hugs))) to everyone. I entered another art competition on FB. If anyone wants to vote for my painting it's here: https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?f...type=3&theater Thanks, miriza __________________ Poly-drugged since May 2011 (14 meds in 4 months-paradox. reactions to all). From mild anxiety to almost psychosis on meds. IT IS THE MEDS, NOT ME! Elavil: 75 mg -> 37.5 (12d) Imipramine: 37.5 mg -> 0 (1 mo,10/08/11): akathisia! 5 mg -> 0 (1 mo,11/29/11) Now in w/d hell and missing my old self. Please go to http://www.askapatient.com and leave a review of your med(s) and w/d experience.

06-09-2013, 04:00 PM	#745
aberdeen Join Date: Jan 2012 Location: Canada Posts: 3,052	Re: Miriza's Journey back to herself sorry you're still fighting Miriza. I think the second year is better. I'm not in a great place lately either, neigher here nor there really, but not as good as I had been. Hang in there! __________________ *2 Timothy 1:7: "For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind."* 2005-2010 Effexor XR 112.5mg-262.5mg for PPD Dec 2010 Poop-out and rapid 3 month wean. Off Effexor March 2011 Hell started 1 month later-tried 3 other meds to deal with w/d nothing worked. . Now tapering from 20mg Paxil (still recovering from Effexor w/d) Oct'11 to Nov '12 20mg-10mg Mar 5/13- 9mg Apr 12/13-8.1mg May 5/13-7.3mg

Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)