Hello and thank you

[surfnfun]

Hello all. I recall being a newbie to many sites that were related to my hobbies. The longer I would be on those sites the more the newbies would annoy me with the same ole questions. I apologize in advance for being that newbie.

I am relatively new to the world of anxiety. It started for me with a traumatic event at work followed up by purchasing our first home. I had my first panic attack six months ago while driving and went straight to the hospital ER. There I was given Ativan and have been on it ever since to manage my new companion, anxiety/health anxiety. I take anywhere from .5mg a day to 2mg a day. The thing that sucks about the Ativan is I can feel right when it starts to wear off and I get anxious. I try to fight through it for a day or two, then I usually give in to more Ativan.

I went to see my Dr. and he put me on Paxil. So now I am entering week three of Paxil use. The Dr. started me off with one week at 5mg, the next at 10mg, and now 20mg. Each time I increase the dose the anxiety gets worse and I need more Ativan to get throuhg it. Last night was my first shot of 20 mg and boy was it fun. I cried for about an hour, then my chest was on fire, then I had to down 1mg of Ativan to take the edge off.

For about the past year I have been fighting a lumbar sprain on the left side. It seems to have gotten worse with the anxiety. Tonight I have an abdominal CT to see if there is something else going on with my lumbar region other than anxiety and chronic muscle pain.

Long unorganized story made short. I feel I am hooked on Ativan. The Dr. thinks he can use Paxil to get me free of the Ativan and feeling better. My Paxil side affects are side aches, hunger, and more freaquent anxiety attacks. The DR. said to use more Ativan to get past this phase of adjusting to Paxil.

I just want my old happy self back. My gut tells me to flush all the pills down the toilet and pop the top off some Absolute.

I guess a lot of how I will be feeling may come down to the results of the CT scan. They have taken blood, chest xrays, and ultrasounds of my kidneys. So far things appear normal, with the exception of galstones, which my DR. doesnt seem to care about at the moment. I am hoping for good news which would give me the strength to just reverse this tapering on scenario to tapering off!! Might as well quit before I really get started.

Thank you for listening and thank you for this site.

[aberdeen]

Silly newbies *sigh*...KIDDING! You're probably right, tapering off now sounds like a good idea. I don't know much about panic or CBT stuff, but lots of people here will have some great ideas for you. Welcome and I hope you find some good advice!

[lmac]

Welcome. You're in the right place!!
My suggestion, stop taking the paxil pronto. Its been 3 weeks only. But taper slowly off the ativan. Ativan actually can cause worse anxiety once using it regularly. Either way, you have a lot of anxiety now so I'd cut the paxil right out before it starts to work. There are also start up side effects to paxil which is probably making things worse for you and causing you to take more ativan.
I've had my fair share of panic attacks. I know how scary they can be. Trust me, its nothing a good therapist and CBT book won't fix. It appals me how quickly doctors dispense benzo's and ADs to people just because we are having normal HUMAN responses. It makes me sick that anxiety is classified as a mental illness and the candy is so quickly dispensed.
This forum is amazing with great people who have been through it all and then some (including myself).
Good luck

[surfnfun]

Afraid to start it and afraid to stop it is where I find myself now. I feel I could stop the Paxil with the aid of the Ativan, stopping the Ativan might be a lot more difficult. I have been using it as a crutch for not only the anxiety, but the back pain as well.

Leaving now for my CT scan. Supposed to take 20mg of Paxil tonight.....ugh what to do. Maybe I could do 10mg, then 5mg. I dont know, cold turkey might be the way to go with my limited exposure.

Thank you

[Backtopaxil]

Ativan is simpler than Paxil but get off Paxil first.

Check this website:
http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/

Here is a schedule to get off Ativan if you decide to taper ( cuts every 2 weeks). Just pick where you are.

.50 .50 .50 .50 Total: 2 mgs
.25 .50 .50 .50 Total: 1.75
.25 .25 .50 .50 Total: 1.50
.25 .25 .25 .50 Total: 1.25
.25 .125 .25 .50 Total: 1.125
.25 .125 .125 .50 Total: 1
.25 .125 .125 .375 Total: .875
.25 .125 .125 .25 Total: .75
.125 .125 .125 .25 Total: .625
.125 .125 .125 .125 Total: .50
.125 .0625 .125 .125 Total: .4375
.125 .0625 .0625 .125 Total: .375
.0625 .0625 .0625 .125 Total: .3125
.0625 .0625 .0625 .0625 Total: .25
.0625 .0312 .0625 .0625 Total: .2187
.0625 .0312 .0312 .0625 Total: .1874
.0312 .0312 .0312 .0625 Total: .1561
.0312 .0312 .0312 .0312 Total: .1248
.0312 .0312 .0312 Total: .0936
.0312 .0312 Total: .0625
.0312 Total: .0312
Off!

[lmac]

I'm not an expert by all means but being on this board and having read thousands of postsn I'd say 3 weeks isn't enough of the paxil to cause any wd. But definately enough to be causing side effects and more anxiety. I'd say stopping paxil would be fine. If you taper then you'll be tapering longer than even having it in your system causing you to have it now for a long time in your system. I definately would NOT stop the benzo's. They're addictive and you will hit major wd if you've been taking that much daily for a while now. There are many people on here who have tapered from benzo's. And I know there is a benzo wd forum site. Miriza would know more about this.
Hopefully Scotty will chime in as she is the administrator of this site and a nurse.

[Wld]

Omg Paxil to get off Ativan and then what Xanax or Klonopin to get off Paxil...throw in some Valium to get off the Xanax. You've got yourself a little three ring circus. You don't want to go down that road. i'd say your first inclination was right to throw em down the toliet. But you really cant do that--i did that and it didnt turn out well. Anyway yes, I agree with everyone else... get off the Paxil quickly. And welcome to PP!

[IMISSME]

Originally Posted by Wld

Omg Paxil to get off Ativan and then what Xanax or Klonopin to get off Paxil...throw in some Valium to get off the Xanax. You've got yourself a little three ring circus. You don't want to go down that road. i'd say your first inclination was right to throw em down the toliet. But you really cant do that--i did that and it didnt turn out well. Anyway yes, I agree with everyone else... get off the Paxil quickly. And welcome to PP!

Ya, I flushed my paxil down the toilet a couple months after going off. I didn't want back on for any reason. Of course now I feel I should have reinstated back at the two month off mark. I ended up seeing a pdoc for the first time. Sure wish she would have told me to reinstate and wean but that is not their agenda. Instead I ended up on another AD. Yikes!!!

I also flushed the Celexa that was prescribed by my GP in early July then again by yet another pdoc in October. Tried it twice and ended up flushing, too many startup symptoms. I was always good at listening to my body on these things...sure wish paxil would have caused me issues at startup but other then the sensation my brain was frying (and not in a bad way) I had none.

[scotty]

As you've figured out, the Ativan is the problem. Sadly, the benzos end up make anxiety much worse than the original problem, which could have been handled with some anxiety reducing techniques.

Now...3 weeks on paxil you could most likely just stop and then work on weaning the Ativan. If that scares you, then go back to 10mg for a week, 5mg for a week and then stop. You shouldn't have any big problems getting off the paxil with such short use. But believe those here..paxil isn't the drug you want to take on.

Wean SLOWLY the ativan, but you may be pleasantly surprised to find that the anxiety improves as you go lower and the rebound anxiety that benzos cause start to go away.

We're here for ya..we love newbies!

[nicole55]

Oh wow, my anxiety started really bad after buying a house too. There were other things too , of course but that was a part of it. I also have a lot of health anxiety.

[KBAnxious]

I'm so in the same boat! I feel so on edge and irritable, and I've only taken 3 doses of 10mg ofPaxil. I also have no appetite at all and have barely eaten in the past 3 days, which could be why I'm also dizzy. Though that may also be another side effect. I really don't think I'm going to take it tonight and see if I feel any better.

[nicole55]

cont...... oops sorry didn't mean to hit submit.
Anyway..... you haven't been on the paxil, that long, I think you will be ok , if you just stop , or reduce for a few days . If you see my signature I took Zoloft for about 4 weeks, and I didn't have any problem. I just cut my dose in half for a couple of days and then like a quarter for a couple of days.

[surfnfun]

I am not going to take any Paxil tonight or ever again if I can manage it. Going through the CT machine tonight spiked my Anxiety pretty good and Im still feeling it so I downed a 1mg Ativan. I will try the taper technique with the Ativan since Ive been on it for about five months now. I remember when I first ran out of it for a few days, my Anxiety went nuts until I got my dealer to re-up!

So are panic attacks and severe anxiety WD symptoms of Ativan?

I am a General Contractor and always thought that buying our first home would be so exciting and fullfilling. We bought that "Worst house on the best street" and tried to blow through a total home makeover in six weeks. Between the construction and two young boys at home it was too much for me to handle. Thank God for my friends who stepped up big time to move us out of our old place and into the new home. I was basically handcuffed by the anxiety.

Hoping for a few good hours of sleep tonight.

KBA----My appetite has been out of control since being on Paxil. Sorry you cant eat, nausea is the worst!

[nicole55]

I also, really wanted to suggest therapy, with a counselor or therapist. You can talk about all your stress and anxiety and learn some good techniques to reduce anxiety in your life , and how to better handle it. Minimize it.
Make sure when you pick a therapist, you let them know, you want to learn techniques too handle your anxiety for the rest of your life, not to go on a med. (that's why I don't suggest Psychiatrist because they can and do prescribe pills). It is hard to make that call and go for your first visit, but just try it.

Also regular exercise is great for anxiety, gets rid of all the excess adrenaline that gets released when you are stressed.

Even buy a book on anxiety , there are lots of good books with good ideas, the key is to keep trying all the suggestions, because only certain things work for certain people. (for example breathing exercises, for stress reduction, does not work for me, laying there focusing on my breathing just makes me MORE STRESSED!)

Good luck, you will get to a better place with your anxiety!!!

Sorry I broke my post into 3 posts, kept hitting submit on accident.

[surfnfun]

nicole when my Doc first sent me to the Psychiatrist I was really expecting more from it. I thought they actually tried to help you and not get you hooked on drugs! The Kaiser building I went to is a two story building. The first floor is dedicated to chemical dependency and the second floor is Psychiatry.

At Kaiser you get to see a therapist first, a shrink later, and then a therapist again. I told the shrink I did not want to start out on the second floor, get medicated, and wind up on the first floor in worse shape. Its funny how the shrink put me on the Paxil and the therapist simply told me how much better life would be on Paxil and free of Ativan. There was no attempt to address the root of my stress or how to cope with anxiety other than take twenty deep breathes , of which I can only get to four before Im over it, and swallow a few pills. Very disappointing.

Hot bath time and hopefully, crossing my legs, fingers, and toes, a decent nights sleep!!! Haven't had one of those in months.

[nicole55]

Too funny , shrinks and chemical dependency.

Yeah finding a good therapist is not always easy. Trial and error a little bit, hope you will not give up on that , and find a good fit for you.

Don't give up trying things on your own too,, there are lots of good sites and info on here too, with suggestions for anxiety, sleep, etc. I know if you do some searching on here or make a post, people will help out with suggestions. And there are some great books, that can really help, just remember for every say 10 things suggested-there might be like 3 that are personally helpful. And maybe 1 or 2 that you are actually able to make/incorporate into your life. Some things will just click and work. And others will just agitate you further.

[babs]

Hi Surf, and welcome to the board from a fellow San Diegan (and fellow Kaiser member). I've been Paxil free for 7 years but still hang around to help others. I find Kaiser to be very drug oriented with little to offer as far as therapy. I think you've gotten good advice here and you're lucky you can stop the Paxil before it becomes a problem too.

[scotty]

Originally Posted by surfnfun

The first floor is dedicated to chemical dependency and the second floor is Psychiatry.

The irony is unbelievable! Don't worry about stopping it..3weeks didn't make any huge changes in brain chemistry. You'll be fine, paxil wise.

There was no attempt to address the root of my stress or how to cope with anxiety other than take twenty deep breathes

You've now learned that psychiatry "does" drugs, period. Find a therapist that does Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and make it clear that you want off the drugs, not to add more.

[surfnfun]

Well I slept like a baby last night!!! No burning chest and racing heart! Freaking paxil. Even woke up late!

I spoke to the pysc nurse today to discuss quiting the Paxil and she was a bit upset and told me to increase the Ativan to 4mg and not give up on the Paxil. No thanks!!!

I am going to taper the Ativan and look into Yoga. I appreciate the positive words and quality advise, it's nice to know I'm not alone.

[surfnfun]

Quiting the Paxil was simple and pleasant. So glad I did it now before I got hooked. The extra anxiety I was experiencing on it went away along with the unbelievable appetite, I was eating five meals a day and wanting more! I feel almost normal, though getting off the Ativan is going to be much tougher.

I tried tapering my own way by taking one dosage in the evening and reducing it every couple a days. Bad idea as my anxiety crept up on me a bit.

I referenced the taper technique that BacktoPaxil posted and it seems to be working well. I am at 1mg a day and am breaking it up into minute doses. Keeping me much more stable and it feels like I am on a path to get off meds all together.

Long talks with my wife and weekly sit downs with her to talk about whats going on with the kids, finances, and planing fun stuff for this summer has really helped my anxiety. We always used to just kind of wing it and sitting down to discuss these things and get it all out on paper really has calmed my anxiety. A few trips a week to the massage parlor and some exercise isnt hurting either. Actually went fishing the other night and enjoyed it without having any anxiety attacks.

Thank you

[aberdeen]

Originally Posted by surfnfun

Long talks with my wife and weekly sit downs with her to talk about whats going on with the kids, finances, and planing fun stuff for this summer has really helped my anxiety. We always used to just kind of wing it and sitting down to discuss these things and get it all out on paper really has calmed my anxiety. A few trips a week to the massage parlor and some exercise isnt hurting either. Actually went fishing the other night and enjoyed it without having any anxiety attacks.

Thank you

I LOVE the idea of sitting down and planning the kid stuff rather than winging it. I would love my hubby to do this with me...LOL. I have a massive calandar on my fridge and i use a pink highlighter for my daughters stuff and a blue one for my sons stuff. I have a pen literally tied with yarn to the fridge hinge right beside it so it's always there. Having ADD has helped me learn some management skills, but on the flip side that helps anxiety too. I really want to do the weekly sit down, would help my hubby too. He runs a business, it's new so he's a one man show still and it's pure chaos around here. SO glad you're off paxil so quickly, you saved yourself some trouble down the road I think!

[surfnfun]

aberden the sit down meetings are great. We have them right after the kids zonk out. We picked Monday because its usually the night not much is going on and its easier to put the kids down a bit earlier after a busy weekend. We will see what happens when MNF rolls around!

Today was a rough day. I started the morning fine, .25mg of Ativan, kids to school, and off to work . Problem is I forgot my meds at home and missed my mid day bump. By 4 I was fighting off an anxiety attack, stupid racing thoughts about my CT scan (no news yet 6 days later). I start having back spasms, stomach ache, shooting abdominal pains, etc. Freaking lame. I have been using Ativan daily since Feb 7th and am probably rushing the taper. I have gotten by fine on 1mg, .25mg breakfast, lunch, and diner, .25mg at bedtime. Today is the first time I missed that noon dose. I am really shocked WD symptoms would pop up so quickly. This is frustrating to realize I am addicted to this and I cant just stop without suffering.

[rose32]

SurfnFun Welcome

Benzos dreadful stuff can never leave home without it... YUK but it is true need to take them on schedule.

I lowered my benzo use but had been on paxil so long I thought my paxil taper was more important for me at the time. Benzo taper for me after paxil taper, advice on site taper one drug at a time.

I am glad for you to find out quickly how difficult this drug paxil is to stop. And believe it or not this stupid drug also will increase a persons use of alchol. I say go with your gut and flush the paxil.

A good schedule for your ativan is so important. I learned that the hard way. Now my meds are taken each day at the same time and unless I am at a drop same dose , no extras just to help me through a tough spot.

You will make it, it takes time and patience, most of us start out thinking that we don't have either but you will see with a good schedule and time it will happen for you.

By the way I also have back trouble I find a lot of relief with ice, I keep several ice packs in the freezer, for me it works better than heat.

Hope things go well for you

Rose

[surfnfun]

Today has been one uncomfortable day. ANXIOUS. I dont know how many of you have tapered off of Ativan, but I am beginning to see this is not going to be easy like the Paxil was. I am on .75mg or trying to be. Is it normal to have tingling hands, weird abdominal pains, and back muscle pain while tapering off this crap? My CT scan did not show anything other than tiny gallstones so I am left to believe these aches and pains I am having are related to the Ativan use and withdrawal. I dont think I can do .75mg, feeling so freaking anxious, I just want it to stop! Nightime is the worst. Sleep, whats that?

Venting....