Not sure if I'm going to make it.

sheacarney · 04-12-2005, 08:07 PM

I fear I may have to take Shaney's route out of this. Why I've spiraled so far out of control is anyone's guess. Perhaps it was tryptophan (one dose?) or the peak of my benzo withdrawal. It's been 10 days, since my last, TAPERED dose. I didn't expect this. Everything was going well. My heart had stopped racing, I was starting to sleep again, and now, I can think of nothing other than a HUGE dose of ATIVAN to make it all better. It's everything I can do to not go to the ER. My abdominal cramps are really bad, but the worst is when I quit moving; I feel the adrenaline surge throughout my body, making my skin burn, below the surface. I am, thus, relegated to incessant rocking back and forth, like a maniac. My heart rate is up and down. It's been 74-108, off and on, since yesterday morning. My blood pressure is only slightly elevated, but this agitation is unbearable. I don't know if I can do this. I've been without any sleep, since 3am, and my constant movement is wearing me out. At some point, I will throw-up, however, I've only had a small amount of soup, about ten almonds and lots of tea and water. My God, this has to pass or I will.

Caroline49 · 04-12-2005, 08:12 PM

Shea! What can tryptophan do to you? I remember in 1989 when I went to re-hab for alcohol there were some people there who were told to take tryptophan to help them sleep. I also found out tryptophan is in turkey??? How could one dose of that cause you to rock back and forth?
I think you need to take 1/2 of an ativan and a cup of warm milk and go to sleep.Tomorrow everything will look brighter.
I don't think I've known you to be this down since I began coming to PP.
Please hang in there. Is your husband with you? Is your step-daughter there?
I'm sending positive energy to CA.

angels · 04-12-2005, 08:15 PM

Hi Shea,
Given the reaction that Beverly described with the 5HTP, I am guessing Tryptophan, but of course, I don't know.

You have been very courageous through all of this. It is in no way being a failure to do whatever you need to do to get through this.

What I wish most for you is that you had one health practitioner who was willing to stand by your side and learn as you learn and be with you for the long haul.

Does it make sense to take some ginger tea?

wish I had more to send than good thoughts.
Angela

rdjanis · 04-12-2005, 08:15 PM

Shea, I am so sorry you are in such a bad way.

Many people have had to have help along the way, everyone is different, at different stages, different side effects and withdrawal. You know what is best for you. It is not a way out but a way of temporary relief from the hell you are in at present. Only you know how much you can take along the way and when it is time for relief. Be kind to yourself Shea, do what you must to get through this.

scotty · 04-12-2005, 08:16 PM

Shea, do what you have to to get through this bad day! Obviously the tryptophan is taking its toll on you. That's the one part of the supplement thing that scares me, when you have NO idea how you're going to react. Bev has had problems(some really bad ones) with new supplements in the past. This to shall pass!! Time to breath, just breath! Lay off anything new and let that brain of yours rest. We're here for you girl!

sheacarney · 04-12-2005, 08:21 PM

It hasn't been this bad, since the first three/four months of Paxil withdrawal, physically speaking.

I don't think it's EMS caused by tryptophan. That's something that tends to gradually develop over time. My husband also took a tryptophan, the night I did. He wanted to make me feel better about it. It may be the serotonin it stirred up. I'm very sensitive. I took it with a B vitamin, on an empty stomach, so I assume I got whatever it had to offer. I thought it would be okay. I'd been taking inositol and B vitamins, for four days prior to tryptophan, with not a lot of resulting anxiety. I thought eight months was long enough. It may also be the peaking benzo withdrawal. I just can't be sure. I'm just hanging by a thread here.

angels · 04-12-2005, 08:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Caroline49

What can tryptophan do to you?

Read the Serotonin Syndrome thread below. Plus a few weeks ago Beverly posted the effect that 5HTP had on her.

I'm beginning to get pretty mad about dumb a**es who are out telling people what to do regarding SSRI/N/D withdrawal when they plain don't know.

Show me the one doctor or alternative health practitioner who has experienced true withdrawal challenges from SSRI/N/Ds and I'll show you one of the few who can appreciate the complexity and devastation these drugs can bring.

angels · 04-12-2005, 08:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sheacarney

I'm very sensitive.

I would use slightly different words. I would say that you are unique and have taken a drug that disturbs the equilibrium of many internal systems in ways that are denied by the manufacturer of the drug. You deserve to be treated by someone in the health care field who is willing to see you the whole way through this. And with accountability.

That is the least you deserve. Hang in there Shea.

scotty · 04-12-2005, 08:46 PM

Shea, with the reactions that you've had up until this point, I would be tempted to not take anything at all. I know that the supplements can be a relief in some, but with your history of reactions and the unknowns of paxil's effect on the body you can never tell how you're going to react. Time to just take nothing and let things balance out.

angels · 04-12-2005, 08:48 PM

Scotty, those seem like wise words. Very wise. Lots of water.

hope · 04-12-2005, 08:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Caroline49

Shea! What can tryptophan do to you? I remember in 1989 when I went to re-hab for alcohol there were some people there who were told to take tryptophan to help them sleep. I also found out tryptophan is in turkey??? How could one dose of that cause you to rock back and forth?

One dose of tryptophan had me going nuts. Yes, ONE DOSE.

Shea, it was only a few months ago that I told my husband, calmly, that I was sure I wasn't going to make it. We had a nice calm conversation with me telling him basically that I loved him and to let the kids know how much their mother loved them. He calmly hugged me and said they weren't going to let me go, that they were waiting for me to come back. It was surreal. How I've lived this long is amazing to me. I don't know what kept me alive other than love and prayer and willpower that came from somewhere beyond what I had myself.

I sent you a p.m. There are no words to describe it. This is hell. Do whatever you can to distract yourself. The movie channel was my best friend for months. We got behind on our cable bill and I called the cable company crying to go ahead and shut it off. I blubbered about getting sick and not working and they gave me a huge discount so we could keep it on. (I didn't give details on my illness.) I told them that the cable TV had been helping me through. I think I made the woman on the phone feel like she was doing a good deed.

It was just crazy!

Scott · 04-12-2005, 10:05 PM

why not stay on a small dose of ativan if it will help you until you're further away from the paxil?

Scott · 04-12-2005, 10:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sheacarney

I took it with a B vitamin, on an empty stomach

that might be your problem.. you may not be able to tolerate b vitamins right now.

MizzT · 04-12-2005, 11:40 PM

Id probably take a good dose of ativan and knock yourself out tonight. one dose. Tomorrow....see what tomorrow brings. But even one night of "reset" can work wonders.

Shea i got just incredibly sick from the 5htp. I mean REALLY REALLY sick!!! ****ed me up beyond anything i thought possible. and it took several days for it to work out of my system and my gut was SO BAD the days following the seizures.
do whatever you need to right now to pull thru.

elisa · 04-13-2005, 01:11 AM

Regarding taking supplements, prescribed or recommended by doctors/neurologists, naturopathic docs et all, I have to make just a comment on all of this.

If anyone wishes to take a supplement, it's up to you individually. However, NEVER start up on a FULL dose. Increase it very slowly.

If anyone wants to take more than ONE supplement, please hold off until you know that the previous supplement does agree with you. Then follow the same route.

Gotta get off my soapbox now........ sorry about my terse comment!

I'm just so worried about everyone getting into trouble by trying out one supplement after another without realizing that some alternative treatments might not be suited for everyone. Same for detoxing....

On a personal note: I wouldn't touch my serotonin level with a ten foot pole right now. I feel it should be given plenty of time (at least 1 year) to re-balance itself.

sarah · 04-13-2005, 05:07 AM

I have to agree with Elisa. I was always afraid of taking supplements after the horror that was paxhell. The only thing I took was starflower oil for pmt. I am now taking magnesium, selenium, agnus castus (for the dreaded pmt), and fish oils. I have left it at least 6 weeks between taking a supplement and adding a new one just in case I have a reaction, that way I will hopefully know what has caused it. I also increase the dosage slowly. If the bottle tells me to take 3, I start off taking just 1, if I feel okay after a week or so then I go up a bit more. I tried B6 and it made me a basket case; jittery and anxious, so knocked that one on the head and started with the agnus castus. Seems to be helping at the moment. We'll see.
The one thing I have been giving some serious thought to is doing a liver detox. I am almost 2 years off and think this is one of the things that could be beneficial to my health. I think it was Bev who said angry liver, angry person, and that is me again at the moment, so I am looking into this. Still undecided, but I won't rush into it.
Shea, we all do what we have to do to get through paxhell. I do think that yours could be a reaction to the stuff you took, but if you feel you need something to help you, only YOU can make that decision. I think you know that no matter what you decide, no one on this board will judge you. Unfortunately a lot of us have been where you are and we do what we need to.
Lots of love to you Shea

Piperpoo · 04-13-2005, 06:59 AM

Shea what I felt sunday is really similar to what you are feeling now. Warm some olive oil in a pan and put it on your abdominal area where it hurts and lie down under blankets and close your eyes. It should calm the pain a great deal. I know it sounds silly but it really works, at least it did wonders for me on sunday. I hope you feel better soon. My thoughts are with you...

RR · 04-13-2005, 09:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sheacarney

I fear I may have to take Shaney's route out of this. Why I've spiraled so far out of control is anyone's guess. Perhaps it was tryptophan (one dose?) or the peak of my benzo withdrawal. It's been 10 days, since my last, TAPERED dose. I didn't expect this. Everything was going well. My heart had stopped racing, I was starting to sleep again, and now, I can think of nothing other than a HUGE dose of ATIVAN to make it all better. It's everything I can do to not go to the ER. My abdominal cramps are really bad, but the worst is when I quit moving; I feel the adrenaline surge throughout my body, making my skin burn, below the surface. I am, thus, relegated to incessant rocking back and forth, like a maniac. My heart rate is up and down. It's been 74-108, off and on, since yesterday morning. My blood pressure is only slightly elevated, but this agitation is unbearable. I don't know if I can do this. I've been without any sleep, since 3am, and my constant movement is wearing me out. At some point, I will throw-up, however, I've only had a small amount of soup, about ten almonds and lots of tea and water. My God, this has to pass or I will.

Hi Shea,

You need to be admitted to a hospital for an observation period. Contact your G.P. to facilitate this, or just go.

colomom · 04-13-2005, 10:17 AM

Shea:

I feel for you sweetie. I am a totally weakling compared to you. Your experience really puts my discomfort in perspective. I agree with Rob that if you get some serious 24hr a day care until you feel better you should do it. Your words sound like you are very discouraged. I hear ya, I feel that way too. PLEASE, remember that your will to live is extremely strong, if you feel weak it is the drugs and the resulting damage talking. There are too many people that need you for you to give up.

Alot of the people that need you are right here on this board.....

*hugs* I hope you feel better soon.

04-12-2005, 08:07 PM	#1
sheacarney Join Date: Jan 2005 Posts: 1,773	Not sure if I'm going to make it. I fear I may have to take Shaney's route out of this. Why I've spiraled so far out of control is anyone's guess. Perhaps it was tryptophan (one dose?) or the peak of my benzo withdrawal. It's been 10 days, since my last, TAPERED dose. I didn't expect this. Everything was going well. My heart had stopped racing, I was starting to sleep again, and now, I can think of nothing other than a HUGE dose of ATIVAN to make it all better. It's everything I can do to not go to the ER. My abdominal cramps are really bad, but the worst is when I quit moving; I feel the adrenaline surge throughout my body, making my skin burn, below the surface. I am, thus, relegated to incessant rocking back and forth, like a maniac. My heart rate is up and down. It's been 74-108, off and on, since yesterday morning. My blood pressure is only slightly elevated, but this agitation is unbearable. I don't know if I can do this. I've been without any sleep, since 3am, and my constant movement is wearing me out. At some point, I will throw-up, however, I've only had a small amount of soup, about ten almonds and lots of tea and water. My God, this has to pass or I will. __________________ shea_alexander2000@hotmail.com Drug free since April 12th, 2005

04-12-2005, 08:12 PM	#2
Caroline49 Join Date: Mar 2005 Posts: 647	Re: Not sure if I'm going to make it. Shea! What can tryptophan do to you? I remember in 1989 when I went to re-hab for alcohol there were some people there who were told to take tryptophan to help them sleep. I also found out tryptophan is in turkey??? How could one dose of that cause you to rock back and forth? I think you need to take 1/2 of an ativan and a cup of warm milk and go to sleep.Tomorrow everything will look brighter. I don't think I've known you to be this down since I began coming to PP. Please hang in there. Is your husband with you? Is your step-daughter there? I'm sending positive energy to CA. __________________ Caroline We should consider every day lost on which we have not danced at least once. And we should call every truth false which was not accompanied by at least one laugh. Nietzsche

04-12-2005, 08:15 PM	#3
angels Join Date: May 2003 Posts: 3,058	Re: Not sure if I'm going to make it. Hi Shea, Given the reaction that Beverly described with the 5HTP, I am guessing Tryptophan, but of course, I don't know. You have been very courageous through all of this. It is in no way being a failure to do whatever you need to do to get through this. What I wish most for you is that you had one health practitioner who was willing to stand by your side and learn as you learn and be with you for the long haul. Does it make sense to take some ginger tea? wish I had more to send than good thoughts. Angela __________________ Are we anti-med? I thought we were pro-heal? There's no SSRI on the market that cures anything. Therefore, SSRIs are anti-heal.. Darcy Baston There is more than lies within those shiny brochures in the a pharma reps' trunk.Sometimes you have to look beyond the marketing machine to get the facts. Laurie Yorke

04-12-2005, 08:15 PM	#4
rdjanis "has a lavender scented keyboard" Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Ontario Posts: 22,238	Re: Not sure if I'm going to make it. Shea, I am so sorry you are in such a bad way. Many people have had to have help along the way, everyone is different, at different stages, different side effects and withdrawal. You know what is best for you. It is not a way out but a way of temporary relief from the hell you are in at present. Only you know how much you can take along the way and when it is time for relief. Be kind to yourself Shea, do what you must to get through this. __________________ Rita

04-12-2005, 08:16 PM	#5
scotty Administrator & Advocate Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: new jersey Posts: 38,590	Re: Not sure if I'm going to make it. Shea, do what you have to to get through this bad day! Obviously the tryptophan is taking its toll on you. That's the one part of the supplement thing that scares me, when you have NO idea how you're going to react. Bev has had problems(some really bad ones) with new supplements in the past. This to shall pass!! Time to breath, just breath! Lay off anything new and let that brain of yours rest. We're here for you girl! __________________ AKA Laurie "If you can find a path with no obstacles, it probably doesn't lead anywhere." ~Frank A. Clark

04-12-2005, 08:21 PM	#6
sheacarney Join Date: Jan 2005 Posts: 1,773	Re: Not sure if I'm going to make it. It hasn't been this bad, since the first three/four months of Paxil withdrawal, physically speaking. I don't think it's EMS caused by tryptophan. That's something that tends to gradually develop over time. My husband also took a tryptophan, the night I did. He wanted to make me feel better about it. It may be the serotonin it stirred up. I'm very sensitive. I took it with a B vitamin, on an empty stomach, so I assume I got whatever it had to offer. I thought it would be okay. I'd been taking inositol and B vitamins, for four days prior to tryptophan, with not a lot of resulting anxiety. I thought eight months was long enough. It may also be the peaking benzo withdrawal. I just can't be sure. I'm just hanging by a thread here. __________________ shea_alexander2000@hotmail.com Drug free since April 12th, 2005

04-12-2005, 08:46 PM	#9
scotty Administrator & Advocate Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: new jersey Posts: 38,590	Re: Not sure if I'm going to make it. Shea, with the reactions that you've had up until this point, I would be tempted to not take anything at all. I know that the supplements can be a relief in some, but with your history of reactions and the unknowns of paxil's effect on the body you can never tell how you're going to react. Time to just take nothing and let things balance out. __________________ AKA Laurie "If you can find a path with no obstacles, it probably doesn't lead anywhere." ~Frank A. Clark

04-12-2005, 08:48 PM	#10
angels Join Date: May 2003 Posts: 3,058	Re: Not sure if I'm going to make it. Scotty, those seem like wise words. Very wise. Lots of water. __________________ Are we anti-med? I thought we were pro-heal? There's no SSRI on the market that cures anything. Therefore, SSRIs are anti-heal.. Darcy Baston There is more than lies within those shiny brochures in the a pharma reps' trunk.Sometimes you have to look beyond the marketing machine to get the facts. Laurie Yorke

04-12-2005, 10:05 PM	#12
Scott Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: somewhere in between Posts: 11,616	Re: Not sure if I'm going to make it. why not stay on a small dose of ativan if it will help you until you're further away from the paxil? __________________ Scott aka Scott What has happened to it all? Crazy, some are saying Where is the life that I recognize? Gone away But I won't cry for yesterday There's an ordinary world Somehow I have to find And as I try to make my way To the ordinary world I will learn to survive surviving an ssri reaction alternative anxiety treatments

04-12-2005, 11:40 PM	#14
MizzT Banned Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: NM Posts: 6,881	Re: Not sure if I'm going to make it. Id probably take a good dose of ativan and knock yourself out tonight. one dose. Tomorrow....see what tomorrow brings. But even one night of "reset" can work wonders. Shea i got just incredibly sick from the 5htp. I mean REALLY REALLY sick!!! ****ed me up beyond anything i thought possible. and it took several days for it to work out of my system and my gut was SO BAD the days following the seizures. do whatever you need to right now to pull thru.

04-13-2005, 01:11 AM	#15
elisa Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Ontario, Canada Posts: 11,509	Re: Not sure if I'm going to make it. Regarding taking supplements, prescribed or recommended by doctors/neurologists, naturopathic docs et all, I have to make just a comment on all of this. If anyone wishes to take a supplement, it's up to you individually. However, NEVER start up on a FULL dose. Increase it very slowly. If anyone wants to take more than ONE supplement, please hold off until you know that the previous supplement does agree with you. Then follow the same route. Gotta get off my soapbox now........ sorry about my terse comment! I'm just so worried about everyone getting into trouble by trying out one supplement after another without realizing that some alternative treatments might not be suited for everyone. Same for detoxing.... On a personal note: I wouldn't touch my serotonin level with a ten foot pole right now. I feel it should be given plenty of time (at least 1 year) to re-balance itself. __________________ On A/D's since 1995, switching due to side-effects on 30 different brands of TCA's, SSRI's, SNRI's, Antipsychotics, Benzo's & Imovane. 6 ECT's. Tapering from 225 mg Effexor XR May 17, 2004. (Equiv. to 60 mg Paxil) Last taper Effexor XR Jan 17, 2006 down to ZERO. Currently protracted withdrawal. Sept 2006: 25 mg Doxepin. March 13/09: 10 mg Desipramine

04-13-2005, 05:07 AM	#16
sarah Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: UK Posts: 3,204	Re: Not sure if I'm going to make it. I have to agree with Elisa. I was always afraid of taking supplements after the horror that was paxhell. The only thing I took was starflower oil for pmt. I am now taking magnesium, selenium, agnus castus (for the dreaded pmt), and fish oils. I have left it at least 6 weeks between taking a supplement and adding a new one just in case I have a reaction, that way I will hopefully know what has caused it. I also increase the dosage slowly. If the bottle tells me to take 3, I start off taking just 1, if I feel okay after a week or so then I go up a bit more. I tried B6 and it made me a basket case; jittery and anxious, so knocked that one on the head and started with the agnus castus. Seems to be helping at the moment. We'll see. The one thing I have been giving some serious thought to is doing a liver detox. I am almost 2 years off and think this is one of the things that could be beneficial to my health. I think it was Bev who said angry liver, angry person, and that is me again at the moment, so I am looking into this. Still undecided, but I won't rush into it. Shea, we all do what we have to do to get through paxhell. I do think that yours could be a reaction to the stuff you took, but if you feel you need something to help you, only YOU can make that decision. I think you know that no matter what you decide, no one on this board will judge you. Unfortunately a lot of us have been where you are and we do what we need to. Lots of love to you Shea __________________ Sarah x Paxhell free since May 12th 2003.

04-13-2005, 06:59 AM	#17
Piperpoo Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Montreal, Qc. Canada Posts: 604	Re: Not sure if I'm going to make it. Shea what I felt sunday is really similar to what you are feeling now. Warm some olive oil in a pan and put it on your abdominal area where it hurts and lie down under blankets and close your eyes. It should calm the pain a great deal. I know it sounds silly but it really works, at least it did wonders for me on sunday. I hope you feel better soon. My thoughts are with you...

04-13-2005, 10:17 AM	#19
colomom Join Date: Feb 2005 Posts: 677	Re: Not sure if I'm going to make it. Shea: I feel for you sweetie. I am a totally weakling compared to you. Your experience really puts my discomfort in perspective. I agree with Rob that if you get some serious 24hr a day care until you feel better you should do it. Your words sound like you are very discouraged. I hear ya, I feel that way too. PLEASE, remember that your will to live is extremely strong, if you feel weak it is the drugs and the resulting damage talking. There are too many people that need you for you to give up. Alot of the people that need you are right here on this board..... hugs I hope you feel better soon.

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