Worst Day Yet...Wanted to Die

feelin'_wiggy · 06-07-2005, 12:51 AM

Hi All,
Sorry I've been MIA for a few days. Thursday evening the site was down. First thing Friday mornng, I left one short post, then the stomach discomfort started. It felt like indegestion so I tried a couple of Rolaids. It continued to worsen while trying to watch "dust to dust". My husband has Nexium, so I tried one of those. NO dice. Imagine the worst charlie horse you've ever had in your calf. That's what the pain was like, except in my stomach.

Took my Paxil with a few ounces of water around 9:30 and immediately threw up. It was that horrible violent and convulsive vomiting. (Sorry to be so graphic) When the stomach was emptied, I continued to heave so heavily that the pain in my head was like a hot poker. Eventually staggered to the bed to call my hubby and blacked out with phone in my hand. Woke up an hour later in excruciating pain. Could not shift my weight torward my right side even the least little bit. Called my husband and he came home. Also called my doctorin tears and explained everything that happened.

When my husband had been home a while, he suggested I try to take 10mg instead of 5, so I did. It stayed down a whole 40 mins. Then the whole vomiting routine started again. Called doctor a second time.

Friday night, my brother-in-law gave me a couple of Xanax, and Saturday night my best friend gave me a couple of Phenagren. Needless to say, I've been sleeping a lot, but I still have the spasms in my upper abdomen.

Here's the kicker: MY shrink did not return my call until this morning. I was in a near coma from the Phenagren and Xanax, so didn't hear the phone. Called him back when I woke up, and have yet to hear back from him.

So, I wanted to check in with everyone to let you know I'm still alive, if you call this living. Thanks so much for being here!

Freedom · 06-07-2005, 01:07 AM

Oh my gosh, I'll say big time prayers for you tonight, I feel a little guilty that I feel a little better. You, my dear are scary. I very glad that you have friends and family close to you. Is it all due to withdrawal? Wow! I'll be thinking and praying for you. Check in tomorrow so we know you're ok, or at least with us! Hugs and kisses xxxooo

Suze · 06-07-2005, 07:57 AM

Wiggy!! I'm so sorry dear heart!! what a scary time for you. How are you this morning? I sure would like to read that you have turned a corner and got some relief.

I was going to start a thread this morning on still getting sick to my stomach, but I think I'll just add it here as it is a symptom we seem to have in common. I'm at 5mg, too, but I'm at 6 weeks at this level and my taper was down from 7.5mg! Seems bizarre to still be throwing up, no? I'm not sick otherwise--no fever, nothing excruciating as in your case, but I'm trying to figure out our similarities.... Are we just "gut people"? What other symptoms are you having?

Maybe you won't feel like responding and I sure hope you are getting some sleep and looking after YOU. I'm sending good thoughts and prayers, Wiggy, and am grabbing onto your hand.

(((((((((((((((WIGGY)))))))))))))))

rdjanis · 06-07-2005, 08:04 AM

Wow Wiggy, sorry to hear you are so sick. Are you sure this is the withdrawal? It would not hurt to clear the field to make sure.

I hope you find some relief today..... take care.

Homerbcool · 06-07-2005, 08:07 AM

sorry to hear about your agony..hope it is better today...could not help but notice yuo took a lot of different meds...please be careful!!!

Delynbetter · 06-07-2005, 08:14 AM

Hubby got food poisoning Wednesday night and finally was able to eat a decent meal yesterday. Shrimp at a restaurant apparently was the culprit. He has Crohn's and we were scared that it was a flare up, so however it weird it sounds, we were glad it was food poisoning.

I hope you symptoms clear up quickly!

Homerbcool · 06-07-2005, 02:11 PM

I just googled Methocarbomal..and was surprised that it is a muscle relaxer...and it helps with tumy problems too..good to know

Believer · 06-07-2005, 02:39 PM

Hey Wiggy - send you lots of hugs and prayers today!

susie · 06-07-2005, 07:02 PM

I feel so bad for you - my stomach problems (cold turkey withdrawal, this is my 7th week) was truly unbelievably miserable, I have had one complete week of relief from the stomach trouble and of course don't know when and if it will flare up again, I was ready to throw in the towel on this deal and then surprise for me, I had some relief. The throwing up I went through - especially from the 2nd to the 5th week was like the worst physical experience of my life. I was so shocked that all of this could happen to me because of Paxil. I am mostly feeling much better and hope you get some relief. Susie

feelin'_wiggy · 06-07-2005, 07:30 PM

Hi All,

Thanks for all the kind words and thoughts. I'm feeling a little better -- no more vomiting, but the upper abdominal cramps persist. Believe it or not, my psychiatrist has not returned my call! Yes, i could call my PCP, but the shrink is the prescribing physician and the one who is supposed to be monitoring me through the tapering process.

I've ruled out a virus as I've hardly left home in three weeks, and if it were a virus, my husband surely would have gotten it. It's not food poisoning because I've been eating very sparsely. mostly fresh steamed veggies, sweet potatoes, Jello fruit cups, and peanut butter. Didn't eat anything different Wednesday or Thursday.

That narrows it down to two possibilities: PaxHell or magnesium

I took 400 mgs of magnesium on Wednesday and Thursday. Have not taken anymore and still have the spasms.

We know PaxHell stores in the muscles, and the stomach is surrounded by muscles for peristalsis, so it seems possible that just as we get muscular spasms and twitching in other parts of the body, it's possible to get them in the abdominal area.

I don't know. If I could talk to a good doctor I wouldn't have to "doctor" myself.

Anyway, thanks again to all of you. I'll be posting more later.

Best!

elisa · 06-07-2005, 07:44 PM

feeling_wiggy,

90% of serotonin resides in the gut. That explains your tummy problems. Try some ginger tea or chamomile tea to settle it. Hope it helps.

feelin'_wiggy · 06-07-2005, 09:40 PM

Thanks for the tip, elisa. I've been drinking chamomile tea and it helps a bit. Will try some ginger tea tomorrow.

feelin'_wiggy · 06-07-2005, 09:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Homerbcool

sorry to hear about your agony..hope it is better today...could not help but notice yuo took a lot of different meds...please be careful!!!

Thanks for your concern, Homer. No worries about the meds. I only had two xanax which I cut in half and spread out over a few days. If you've read some of my other posts you know I am anti-benzos (for me). But, I was in such distress, I would have taken anything for relief. As for the phenergren, only had a couple of those, also. They got me through the worst of it, but the nausea persists. YUCK!

elisa · 06-07-2005, 09:57 PM

Ginger is also good for nausea!!

Suze · 06-07-2005, 10:20 PM

It's a rough road, Wiggy, to be sure. Can you imagine for just one second trying to believe all this would happen from these pills if someone else were tellng us their story? For me, I would believe that person but I might think to myself that perhaps they are overly sensitive, in the minority, SOMETHING in order to hold myself safe and protected from the same fate. Well, at least we know we are all in this together, that it WILL pass, and that we are NOT crazy. Thank God for PP!

When I think of the folks that have walked through my life with whom I have had "empty" relationships, it seems to me that a common thread was that I could not feel their empathy and compassion. Pain breeds compassion, I believe. If we have not experienced hurt, how can we really reach out in lovingkindness to another? This, to me, helps me make some sense out of this otherwise senseless withdrawal experience.

xxoo Better day tomorrow are my prayers for you tonight.

dibbs · 06-07-2005, 10:41 PM

Hello everyone!Today was a good day,I'm on my third day of going from 20 to10mg and the worse is the stomach pain,LOTS of pain,any ideas of safe ways to make it better??Take care everyone,we will be free!!Dibbs

nicole55 · 06-08-2005, 10:01 AM

Hang in there, it sucks, I know. Not feeling too good myself these lest few days! Just know that you are not alone!

Homerbcool · 06-08-2005, 10:04 AM

every new day brings us all closer to the end of this journey and closer to having our lifes back...and Nicole..your line "not feeling so good myself....that is my next post to the thread in misc. under okay you music officianados...that is a great line from a great song...

06-07-2005, 12:51 AM	#1
feelin'_wiggy Join Date: May 2005 Location: New Orleans Posts: 3,293	Worst Day Yet...Wanted to Die Hi All, Sorry I've been MIA for a few days. Thursday evening the site was down. First thing Friday mornng, I left one short post, then the stomach discomfort started. It felt like indegestion so I tried a couple of Rolaids. It continued to worsen while trying to watch "dust to dust". My husband has Nexium, so I tried one of those. NO dice. Imagine the worst charlie horse you've ever had in your calf. That's what the pain was like, except in my stomach. Took my Paxil with a few ounces of water around 9:30 and immediately threw up. It was that horrible violent and convulsive vomiting. (Sorry to be so graphic) When the stomach was emptied, I continued to heave so heavily that the pain in my head was like a hot poker. Eventually staggered to the bed to call my hubby and blacked out with phone in my hand. Woke up an hour later in excruciating pain. Could not shift my weight torward my right side even the least little bit. Called my husband and he came home. Also called my doctorin tears and explained everything that happened. When my husband had been home a while, he suggested I try to take 10mg instead of 5, so I did. It stayed down a whole 40 mins. Then the whole vomiting routine started again. Called doctor a second time. Friday night, my brother-in-law gave me a couple of Xanax, and Saturday night my best friend gave me a couple of Phenagren. Needless to say, I've been sleeping a lot, but I still have the spasms in my upper abdomen. Here's the kicker: MY shrink did not return my call until this morning. I was in a near coma from the Phenagren and Xanax, so didn't hear the phone. Called him back when I woke up, and have yet to hear back from him. So, I wanted to check in with everyone to let you know I'm still alive, if you call this living. Thanks so much for being here! __________________ *Deborah* Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage -- Anais Nin ...the most you can hope is to be a little less, in the end, the creature you were in the beginning and the middle. -- Samuel Beckett (The Unnamable) . 1998: Paxil prescribed during mother's battle with cancer. 07/03 thru 05/05: Poop out; 2 botched attempts at wd; bipolar dx; more drugs added 04/05: quit lithium, Adderall and Xanax 05/05: Began 3rd attempt at wd 07/22/05: Liberated! http://www.benzo.org.uk

06-07-2005, 01:07 AM	#2
Freedom Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Huntington Beach, CA Posts: 272	Re: Worst Day Yet...Wanted to Die Oh my gosh, I'll say big time prayers for you tonight, I feel a little guilty that I feel a little better. You, my dear are scary. I very glad that you have friends and family close to you. Is it all due to withdrawal? Wow! I'll be thinking and praying for you. Check in tomorrow so we know you're ok, or at least with us! Hugs and kisses xxxooo

06-07-2005, 07:57 AM	#3
Suze Banned Join Date: Mar 2005 Posts: 2,515	Re: Worst Day Yet...Wanted to Die Wiggy!! I'm so sorry dear heart!! what a scary time for you. How are you this morning? I sure would like to read that you have turned a corner and got some relief. I was going to start a thread this morning on still getting sick to my stomach, but I think I'll just add it here as it is a symptom we seem to have in common. I'm at 5mg, too, but I'm at 6 weeks at this level and my taper was down from 7.5mg! Seems bizarre to still be throwing up, no? I'm not sick otherwise--no fever, nothing excruciating as in your case, but I'm trying to figure out our similarities.... Are we just "gut people"? What other symptoms are you having? Maybe you won't feel like responding and I sure hope you are getting some sleep and looking after YOU. I'm sending good thoughts and prayers, Wiggy, and am grabbing onto your hand. (((((((((((((((WIGGY)))))))))))))))

06-07-2005, 08:04 AM	#4
rdjanis "has a lavender scented keyboard" Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Ontario Posts: 22,214	Re: Worst Day Yet...Wanted to Die Wow Wiggy, sorry to hear you are so sick. Are you sure this is the withdrawal? It would not hurt to clear the field to make sure. I hope you find some relief today..... take care. __________________ Rita

06-07-2005, 08:07 AM	#5
Homerbcool "Infatuated with kazoobies" Join Date: Jan 2005 Posts: 16,757	Re: Worst Day Yet...Wanted to Die sorry to hear about your agony..hope it is better today...could not help but notice yuo took a lot of different meds...please be careful!!!

06-07-2005, 08:14 AM	#6
Delynbetter Join Date: May 2005 Location: Texas Posts: 10,769	Re: Worst Day Yet...Wanted to Die Hubby got food poisoning Wednesday night and finally was able to eat a decent meal yesterday. Shrimp at a restaurant apparently was the culprit. He has Crohn's and we were scared that it was a flare up, so however it weird it sounds, we were glad it was food poisoning. I hope you symptoms clear up quickly!

06-07-2005, 02:11 PM	#8
Homerbcool "Infatuated with kazoobies" Join Date: Jan 2005 Posts: 16,757	Re: Worst Day Yet...Wanted to Die I just googled Methocarbomal..and was surprised that it is a muscle relaxer...and it helps with tumy problems too..good to know

06-07-2005, 02:39 PM	#9
Believer Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Omaha, Nebraska Posts: 199	Re: Worst Day Yet...Wanted to Die Hey Wiggy - send you lots of hugs and prayers today! __________________ JEN Started Lexapro for post-divorce depression - 2002 Started PaxilCr 25 - August 2004 Currently: Paxil Free as of June 18 Pools of sorrow, waves of joy. - John Lennon & Paul McCartney

06-07-2005, 07:02 PM	#10
susie Join Date: Apr 2005 Posts: 23	Re: Worst Day Yet...Wanted to Die I feel so bad for you - my stomach problems (cold turkey withdrawal, this is my 7th week) was truly unbelievably miserable, I have had one complete week of relief from the stomach trouble and of course don't know when and if it will flare up again, I was ready to throw in the towel on this deal and then surprise for me, I had some relief. The throwing up I went through - especially from the 2nd to the 5th week was like the worst physical experience of my life. I was so shocked that all of this could happen to me because of Paxil. I am mostly feeling much better and hope you get some relief. Susie

06-07-2005, 07:30 PM	#11
feelin'_wiggy Join Date: May 2005 Location: New Orleans Posts: 3,293	Re: Worst Day Yet...Wanted to Die Hi All, Thanks for all the kind words and thoughts. I'm feeling a little better -- no more vomiting, but the upper abdominal cramps persist. Believe it or not, my psychiatrist has not returned my call! Yes, i could call my PCP, but the shrink is the prescribing physician and the one who is supposed to be monitoring me through the tapering process. I've ruled out a virus as I've hardly left home in three weeks, and if it were a virus, my husband surely would have gotten it. It's not food poisoning because I've been eating very sparsely. mostly fresh steamed veggies, sweet potatoes, Jello fruit cups, and peanut butter. Didn't eat anything different Wednesday or Thursday. That narrows it down to two possibilities: PaxHell or magnesium I took 400 mgs of magnesium on Wednesday and Thursday. Have not taken anymore and still have the spasms. We know PaxHell stores in the muscles, and the stomach is surrounded by muscles for peristalsis, so it seems possible that just as we get muscular spasms and twitching in other parts of the body, it's possible to get them in the abdominal area. I don't know. If I could talk to a good doctor I wouldn't have to "doctor" myself. Anyway, thanks again to all of you. I'll be posting more later. Best! __________________ *Deborah* Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage -- Anais Nin ...the most you can hope is to be a little less, in the end, the creature you were in the beginning and the middle. -- Samuel Beckett (The Unnamable) . 1998: Paxil prescribed during mother's battle with cancer. 07/03 thru 05/05: Poop out; 2 botched attempts at wd; bipolar dx; more drugs added 04/05: quit lithium, Adderall and Xanax 05/05: Began 3rd attempt at wd 07/22/05: Liberated! http://www.benzo.org.uk

06-07-2005, 07:44 PM	#12
elisa Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Ontario, Canada Posts: 11,473	Re: Worst Day Yet...Wanted to Die feeling_wiggy, 90% of serotonin resides in the gut. That explains your tummy problems. Try some ginger tea or chamomile tea to settle it. Hope it helps. __________________ On A/D's since 1995, switching due to side-effects on 30 different brands of TCA's, SSRI's, SNRI's, Antipsychotics, Benzo's & Imovane. 6 ECT's. Tapering from 225 mg Effexor XR May 17, 2004. (Equiv. to 60 mg Paxil) Last taper Effexor XR Jan 17, 2006 down to ZERO. Currently protracted withdrawal. Sept 2006: 25 mg Doxepin. March 13/09: 10 mg Desipramine

06-07-2005, 09:40 PM	#13
feelin'_wiggy Join Date: May 2005 Location: New Orleans Posts: 3,293	Re: Worst Day Yet...Wanted to Die Thanks for the tip, elisa. I've been drinking chamomile tea and it helps a bit. Will try some ginger tea tomorrow. __________________ *Deborah* Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage -- Anais Nin ...the most you can hope is to be a little less, in the end, the creature you were in the beginning and the middle. -- Samuel Beckett (The Unnamable) . 1998: Paxil prescribed during mother's battle with cancer. 07/03 thru 05/05: Poop out; 2 botched attempts at wd; bipolar dx; more drugs added 04/05: quit lithium, Adderall and Xanax 05/05: Began 3rd attempt at wd 07/22/05: Liberated! http://www.benzo.org.uk

06-07-2005, 09:57 PM	#15
elisa Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Ontario, Canada Posts: 11,473	Re: Worst Day Yet...Wanted to Die Ginger is also good for nausea!! __________________ On A/D's since 1995, switching due to side-effects on 30 different brands of TCA's, SSRI's, SNRI's, Antipsychotics, Benzo's & Imovane. 6 ECT's. Tapering from 225 mg Effexor XR May 17, 2004. (Equiv. to 60 mg Paxil) Last taper Effexor XR Jan 17, 2006 down to ZERO. Currently protracted withdrawal. Sept 2006: 25 mg Doxepin. March 13/09: 10 mg Desipramine

06-07-2005, 10:20 PM	#16
Suze Banned Join Date: Mar 2005 Posts: 2,515	Re: Worst Day Yet...Wanted to Die It's a rough road, Wiggy, to be sure. Can you imagine for just one second trying to believe all this would happen from these pills if someone else were tellng us their story? For me, I would believe that person but I might think to myself that perhaps they are overly sensitive, in the minority, SOMETHING in order to hold myself safe and protected from the same fate. Well, at least we know we are all in this together, that it WILL pass, and that we are NOT crazy. Thank God for PP! When I think of the folks that have walked through my life with whom I have had "empty" relationships, it seems to me that a common thread was that I could not feel their empathy and compassion. Pain breeds compassion, I believe. If we have not experienced hurt, how can we really reach out in lovingkindness to another? This, to me, helps me make some sense out of this otherwise senseless withdrawal experience. xxoo Better day tomorrow are my prayers for you tonight.

06-07-2005, 10:41 PM	#17
dibbs Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Burbank,CA Posts: 19	Re: Worst Day Yet...Wanted to Die Hello everyone!Today was a good day,I'm on my third day of going from 20 to10mg and the worse is the stomach pain,LOTS of pain,any ideas of safe ways to make it better??Take care everyone,we will be free!!Dibbs

06-08-2005, 10:01 AM	#18
nicole55 Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Michigan, USA Posts: 982	Re: Worst Day Yet...Wanted to Die Hang in there, it sucks, I know. Not feeling too good myself these lest few days! Just know that you are not alone! __________________ status: PAXIL FREE date of Freedom: June 26, 2005 method: 2.5 mg drops reason for taking: anxiety how long taking: 5yrs attempts to stop: 4th attempt worked!! (first 2 tries w/doctor too fast, 3rd try found this place-5mg drops-still too fast) briefly went back to ssri's- 12/07 tried Zoloft in desperation//awful side effects starting up, tapered quickly after only 4 weeks on 03/13 doing ok, anxiety is up from a stressful job

06-08-2005, 10:04 AM	#19
Homerbcool "Infatuated with kazoobies" Join Date: Jan 2005 Posts: 16,757	Re: Worst Day Yet...Wanted to Die every new day brings us all closer to the end of this journey and closer to having our lifes back...and Nicole..your line "not feeling so good myself....that is my next post to the thread in misc. under okay you music officianados...that is a great line from a great song...

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