having extreme anxiety please help me now

[damama]

hi everyone. im still on vacation and having been having extreme anxiety, VERY nauseas, already took xanax, very dry mjouth. im so scared. plesae help

[mdladie]

What kind of symtons?? Fear? shaky? what is going on where you are and is someone with you who can understand how these things just come out of the blue??

[MizzT]

clear your PMs so i can send you one please!!

hang in there. you will be ok

[damama]

bev

its cleared. thanks

[mdladie]

Good for Bev!

[nicole55]

oh please hang on! I've had some real bad anxiety lately too, all related to some pain and tests I've had to have for something.

I was so upset , I called my doc and asked for a refill of the xanax. He called it in for me. I just took some last night and today, it's not really working for me either, I think I'm too upset- just beyond xanax at this point. I haven't even taken any xanax since I was done tapering.

Breath deep and try to sleep , sometimes it passes with rest . I will keep my fingers crossed for you!!

[MizzT]

for everyone....i will repeat what i told damama.

IF you are just FREAKING!!!! you have to break the pattern the body is going into.
First...SIT. comfortably, feet flat on the floor. arms relaxed. say out loud....RELAX, relax, relax. keep that going in your head.
now breathe....deep into the belly...and slow. in to a slow count of 7 and out to a slow count of 7. deep to expand the diaphragm.
Breathe into your feet to ground you. even more....feel your connection to the earth, floor, ground, ground, ground. breathe into that and feel yourself connect more.

then tapping stuff that really works. You can gently pat your head if your head feels good enough. and second (while focusing on the anxiety or actually SAY OUT LOUD "I need to clear this anxiety")....tapping the upper lip, just below the nose....or the breast bone....tap continuously while doing the following 3 breaths. First inhale and hold your breath for like 3 seconds, then exhale slowly, then breathe fast like a dog panting.

See if that one tapping sequence "clears" out some of the anxiety. continue breathing and out loud talking yourself down while saying....blah blah blah BUT i totally accept and love myself. Even tho im freaking out, i completely love and accept myself. even tho i have this anxiety, even tho i have this fear.
sounds silly but it will chill down the panic FAST! when you need it!!

[damama]

i was doing so much better and now that we're 500 miles from home my agoraphobia is so bad that I've been having panic attacks and generalized anxiey. last night i sat trembling at the table whiole at dinner with family. I had to force down a cup of soup. I thought I would just pop from the intense anxiety. The nausea at this point is what is keeping it all going. my mouth gets so dry that i sip water or gatorade and then feel like i'm going to barf. I'm having a very rough time and knowing that we have to drive 500 miles to get home is not helping how i feel. the xanax worked for about 30 minutes then the nausea came back and so did the anxiety. this is so hard.

[MizzT]

what about ginger for the nausea. either fresh ginger brewed into tea....or crystalized ginger to nibble on.
are you vomitting...or just nauseas?
the nausea could also just be stress related because you are so far from home and your safe spot.

its ok....nothing bad is gonna happen. you will be safe and ok.

[damama]

thank you everyone. I'm crying as I type this because i'm overwhelmed with emotion from the anxiety, agoraphobia, and the support from you guys. I really thank you so much. I will be online most of the day because I know I'm going to need it. God, I can't wait to be home in my safe place. This is so hard. This was supposed to be a vacation, not extreme therapy from hell. I know I'll get through this but its knowing that I have to do it that's hard. I want so much to live without medication but at times like these I don't know if I can. I just pray its a combo of being so far from home coupled with PMS.

[MizzT]

"even tho i feel out of place being far from home and my safe spot, i deeply and completely accept myself"
even tho i dont think i can deal with being away from home"
even tho i have a 500 mile drive home
even tho i have anxiety from travelling
even tho im afraid of being away from home.
even tho this seems like more than i can bear
even tho i am nauseas
even tho i am anxious
even tho i want to scream

[damama]

<still crying> Thank you. I'm sipping on some 7UP so help my stomach. I told my hubby I wanted to get some Ginger Ale, he laughed and said we already have 7UP and that's also for the stomach, so help yourself. So I'll be sipping on it for a while and then I'm going to try to eat some yogurt. I think the crying is helping to release the intense feelings I have. My mouth isn't as dry. I'm staying online all day.

[MizzT]

good girl!!! one little bit at a time.
if you havent heard it properly said.....My grandmother used to tell me *her crybaby*
CRY....CRY!!! you'll pee less!

so cry....its very cleansing.

[damama]

LOL! Not only will I pee less, but apparently all the crying has made my nose runny and helped moistened my mouth. This morning it looked like I had a white shag rug on my tongue.....very dry. I'm feeling better now and just keep sipping on my 7UP. My goal today is to stay calm enough to eat some food. Tomorrow on the way home i'm going to listen to my meditation cd's all the way home. It'll willl help me feel like I'm at home in my bed all snuggled up with my pillows.

My husband came in to see how I'm doing. He said "what are you going to do about all this? What is so bad about feeling nauseas? You keep saying that you're going to get over this but you haven't. How long is it going to take?" I should have said....."lets see? ONE....TWO.... THREE!....Three licks to get to the center of the tootsie pop" Again....the world may never know.

[Lilly]

I remember this well. I would cry at my husband, I want to go home! I hate vacations. It would subside and we would move on. I tried to just let myself really get into looking at all the nature and scenery or clouds and just melt into it. And pretty soon it would okay.

Maybe you could skip the dinners if they are too stressfull. Room service or have them bring you back something? Long hot baths were always wonderfull. Repeat Beverlys afirmations till they become your natural thoughts.

After this trip is over you i'm betting you will look back on it with fondess.

Lilly

[MizzT]

oh Damama! you are TOO funny! from the white shag rug...to the tootsie pop.
Has your husband come here at all to read and understand the reality?
tell him you need him to stick around until its over....and not a minute longer or shorter.
12 - 18 months bucko! so buck up and work with us...ok? stop complaining because I am feeling sick and GO GET ME some freaking ginger ale. its the ginger....not the bubbles. and while you are at it....get some tootsie pops for the ride home!

seriously damama.....its a long haul weaning off. tell him to thank his lucky stars its not HIM doing the weaning. you are doing the weaning and him the whining. not fair.

you are doing good work and learning as you go. each struggle will give you tools to work it out the next time a little better.

[damama]

Thank you Lilly. I hope you're right. After we get back home I'm going to call and get myself in with a therapist to help me "reprogram" myself. I really want to live without antidepressants (I'll keep the xanax for times when I get stuck.....like today). I need intense therapy that's for sure. I'm so thankful to be feeling more calm right now. My body is warm and I'm able to keep sipping on this 7UP. I'm going to eat 1/4 of a turkey sandwich in a few minutes. I actually think I'll be able to eat it. Later my hubby says we're all going to the local grocery store to stock up on some stuff for the drive home. Luckily the place we're staying is a resort, we're actually renting someone's time share, so its like a little apartment with a full kitchen. He said we'll buy some food to cook here for dinner. **phew** what a relief. He loves me, but I know he tires of seeing me get like this, and he tires of dealing with it. I have to be strong for my kids and husband. Later I'll tell you all about how great my son has been doing on this vacation (he has anxiety too). I'm going to go eat something now.

[sheacarney]

Damama,

What you are experiencing is not true fear and anxiety, but a chemical reaction. I was agoraphobic too. It's horrible. You will be okay, in time. I could not leave the house for a VERY LONG TIME, without extreme distress. Hell, I was in extreme distress IN my house.

One year off, and I just took a four and a half hour road trip to Yosemite, where I drove the whole way. IMPOSSIBLE just three months ago. It may take a long time, but I promise it does get better.

-Shea

[MizzT]

you'll do great damama. i know its really hard on our spouses. i think at times we all have to do things to keep each other with the program. in the long run...it will not only heal you...but help your son live a happy life free from anxiety!
and the bonds between all of you will only grow stronger for having faced and conquered the beast.

[Lilly]

Shea is right. I did the same in W/D and doing fine now. But your right even if with the people that see us experience this, I don't think they can experience everything we are going through, its not possible and thats a good thing.

I think they focus on our physical complaints, nasea, dizziness, but how in the world coud they understand what is going on in our heads. Its our process alone.

Lilly

[MizzT]

sometimes there are not even words to give proper description to the experience so that someone outside it can understand. *does that make sense?*
it may be nausea....and whats so bad with nausea....we agree on that! but this isnt just nausea. there is a whole mental trip that comes with each symptom....and logically so....because its not "nausea" like your gut is messed up....its your head chemistry is messed up and the result is feeling like you will puke.
*like astronaut nausea or something.....gravity is gone, space just expanded*

Clarence asks me about my eyesight frequently....very hard to say qualitatively how my sight is funky at a particular moment. and it might sound like nothing....but totally freak me out. sometimes i can see my heartbeat. ?!?!?!?!??!

[damama]

I'm back. After getting on here earlier and crying my eyes out, I felt calm enough to sip on that 7UP. After about and hour I was able to eat a yogurt and then 1/4 turkey sandwich. I didn't feel nauseas afterwards (first time in two days I've been able to eat and feel ok) so I plopped down on the sofa bed with a bunch of pillows and watched the rest of Finding Nemo with my 2-1/2 year old. I dozed off and took a long, heavy nap. My husband woke me up later because he had drawn up a bath for me in the huge bathtub this place has. I feel so much better. It really is bizarre and unbelievable to me how deep down in hell you can get and then do a 180 degree turn just a fast. I know that this website truly is my lifeline and played a huge part in getting me calmed down because the xanax sure wasn't able to do its job with all those stress hormones flooding my body. I was trembling, extremely nauseas, racing thoughts, sweaty, feeling of doom, butterflies in stomach, restless legs. Basically a complete mess. It was the kind of anxiety that doesn't get triggered but just takes over the minute you wake up in the morning. Last night at the restaurant I went into the restroom to "try and get it together" and the anxiety grew so strong my heart started palpatating. I had my cell phone with me so I was going to call my cousin (she gets panic attacks, too) as a way to get me grounded and feel reassured, but there was no friggin' signal in the building. So I went back to the table where I sat trembling all over, ready to puke and go crazy. Earlier as I was dozing off, now able to relax and feel calm, I could feel the low back ache I get before I have my period. Perhaps PMS is the culprit.

Thank you everyone for sharing your experiences with me. Its so hard to tell if what I'm going through is a "reprogramming" period due to tapering off Paxil, or the symptoms of panic disorder w/agoraphobia. Because what I've experience these past two days is exactly what made my doc put me on paxil in the first place. Its like the Paxil was a bandaid that covered up the "ouchy" and now that its slowly being ripped off, its hard to tell if the pain is from the bandaid or the "ouchy" underneath that never really healed. Maybe once this "bandaid" is completely off I'll be able to see the truth underneath.

[damama]

(((BIG HUGS))) to everyone! I wish I could hug each and every one of you because you don't know how much your encouraging words mean to me. I'm truly humbled how people I've never met in person will come together to help calm the fears of another in distress. Thank you all so much.

[deeeelle]

damama, if you get a chance, you might ask your doctor about switching your benzo. Xanax can be an evil sucker because it has a short half life (kind of like Paxil only even shorter!). When my ob-gyn started me on Xanax, I got even worse anxiety because it would calm me down quickly but then would wear off and I'd get rebound anxiety waiting to take the next dose. Valium has the longest half life, and I believe Klonopin is the second longest.

I am glad you're feeling better and hope you can break the cycle this go-round! I've been where you are and know it's an awful feeling.

[damama]

thanks for the advice. however, why would your ob-gyn be prescribing an anti-anxiety med for you? my psychiatrist told me xanax is perfectly safe and to use it when I need it. He actually told me "take a xanax. why would you let yourself suffer?" That's because I have a med phobia I'm working on getting over and I'd usually let myself suffer rather than take a xanax when I get backed against a wall. So now that I'm on vacation 500 miles from my home, I've been having a terrible time with my anxiety and have had to take the xanax. I don't want to rely on it all the time, just in situations like this. Thanks for the advice.