depression(not withdrawal) again/need advice

dania · 09-22-2005, 05:17 AM

Hi all!
My story is not about Paxil(although I was prescribed Paxil one year ago, during withdrawal from Elavil and benzo).
I`ve been diagnosed with clinical depression 10 years ago, at 25. After 4-5 types of antidepressants that didn`t work I was prescribed Amitriptilyne(TCA) and Medazepam(benzo). I took 50mg/day Amitriptyline and 10mg/day Medazepam for over 8 years and felt mostly good till they lost effectivness and side effects became too mutch. Had a very active happy life for a long time. One and a half year ago I began tapering down. It was hell. The withdrawal went on all along the 9 months of tapering off and some 3 months after being drug free.
Needless to say I tried therapy(CBT), hipnosys, yoga... I did everything I could to stay off any medicine for 8-9 months but my state of mind was continously deteriorating in a way that I know was due to the depression coming back; I know how side effects, withdrawal and depression feel, can tell the difference. I can even tell the difference between the memory impairment due to each of them... So I begun taking St. John`s Wort 2 weeks ago. I don`t experience any spectacular recovery, the effect is very subtle but I can function...
I`ve been reading lost of posts on this site and can`t understand how comes that none of you experienced worst depression coming back after a while of being drug free. Maybe I missed something...maybe I didn`t try hard enough...all I know is one month ago I couldn`t think, almost couldn`t speak as my mind went blank, couldn`t work, couldn`t do simple things...
Dania

Delynbetter · 09-22-2005, 08:06 AM

Dania, I am so sorry for your situation. There have been a lot of people who have had the recurring depression after coming off of the medication. I'm sure some will speak up during the day to let you know you are not alone.

A lot of us here were put on Paxil for the wrong reasons and without any warning (usually because the doctors didn't and still don't understand) of side effects and withdrawal symptoms. All of us have become each other's support system going through everything, so we try to be as encouraging as we can no matter what the situation is that each person has been left to try to deal with in life.

You are NOT alone and there are some very wise people on here who have suffered through the worst of depression, are still suffering bouts of depression, or are still suffering depression constantly. They will be here sometime during the day and will be able to lead you to the sources to which you can refer.

I wish you the best and welcome to the board. At the very least, there is a lot to be learned about all different kinds of people and lives, and hopefully you will be able to find some kind of light to help you through your difficult times.

scotty · 09-22-2005, 10:52 AM

Dania, Welcome! I'm trying to get the timeline of your antidepressant use. Am I right that you are now off drugs for 1 year? If thats the case you still have to look at the physical changes that were made in your brain during the AD use. Altering the neurotransmitters for that long a period of time will take time to heal. Some neurologists are now saying 2-3 years for recovery from long term AD use.

rdjanis · 09-22-2005, 11:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dania

I`ve been reading lost of posts on this site and can`t understand how comes that none of you experienced worst depression coming back after a while of being drug free. Maybe I missed something...maybe I didn`t try hard enough...all I know is one month ago I couldn`t think, almost couldn`t speak as my mind went blank, couldn`t work, couldn`t do simple things...
Dania

What I am thinking Diana is that you were/are still in withdrawal hence the depression being worse... this is what withdrawal does.

On another note, my daughter's experience coming off paxil was so horrific that once all symptoms of withdrawal were gone, she had gained really good coping skills to deal with anxiety/depression during the withdrawal and it just is not a huge deal for her any more when signs of anxiety appear.

scotty · 09-22-2005, 11:13 AM

After ryan went through withdrawal I can remember him telling me "after this hell, anxiety is a piece of cake".

rdjanis · 09-22-2005, 11:16 AM

Our kids have come a long way!

MizzT · 09-22-2005, 12:15 PM

depression.....fish oil
loads of it.
of course....start slowly. only 1 gram. work yourself up slowly.

Im DOWN the past couple days. my fishy intake was down to 3 grams daily for a while now. i believe if i just go back to my 6 grams i will feel better in a day or so.
and...the depression right now is stress related.....so i do think the fish oil helps for this.

Light · 09-22-2005, 12:34 PM

I agree with the fish oil. The other thing is exercise. I know this sounds absurd when you are depressed but it can be so, so, helpful. Research shows that it's as powerful as antidepressants but with a much lower chance of relapse. Are you getting enough sun?

elisa · 09-22-2005, 12:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Light

I agree with the fish oil. The other thing is exercise. I know this sounds absurd when you are depressed but it can be so, so, helpful. Research shows that it's as powerful as antidepressants but with a much lower chance of relapse. Are you getting enough sun?

The sun produces Vitamin D, essential for good health and mood. At my last physical check-up my Vitamin D level was 40% compared to the "normal" 100%. That's why I'm taking (liquid) Artic Cod Liver Oil - it contains Vitamin D as well as EPA, DHA and Vitamin E. It's from Nordic Naturals and has a nice peach taste. Always take fish oil with food.

dania · 09-23-2005, 05:22 AM

Thank you all for being so supportive, this is a great site
Yes, I am drug free for over a year. I`ve been through about all withdrawal symptoms enumerated on this site. From what I gather there is not so much of a difference between withdrawals from antidepressants, no matter the class (TCA or SSRI).
I`m taking fish oil for 3-4 months now.
Do any of you have depersonalization related to anxiety? I`m going to post a question about it. It would help to know I`m not alone.
Dania

rdjanis · 09-23-2005, 10:42 AM

dania, this was one of my daughter's symptoms which led to the medication roller coaster....pre paxil. She now has her anxiety under control which eliminates the depersonalization. It was worse during withdrawal.

A long story, but her story started with an incident a school with a school principal, still today should she enter a classroom the depersonalization sets in. She is going to start talk therapy this November to see if she can conquer this last step in dealing with her anxiety.

09-22-2005, 05:17 AM	#1
dania Join Date: Sep 2005 Posts: 66	depression(not withdrawal) again/need advice Hi all! My story is not about Paxil(although I was prescribed Paxil one year ago, during withdrawal from Elavil and benzo). I`ve been diagnosed with clinical depression 10 years ago, at 25. After 4-5 types of antidepressants that didn`t work I was prescribed Amitriptilyne(TCA) and Medazepam(benzo). I took 50mg/day Amitriptyline and 10mg/day Medazepam for over 8 years and felt mostly good till they lost effectivness and side effects became too mutch. Had a very active happy life for a long time. One and a half year ago I began tapering down. It was hell. The withdrawal went on all along the 9 months of tapering off and some 3 months after being drug free. Needless to say I tried therapy(CBT), hipnosys, yoga... I did everything I could to stay off any medicine for 8-9 months but my state of mind was continously deteriorating in a way that I know was due to the depression coming back; I know how side effects, withdrawal and depression feel, can tell the difference. I can even tell the difference between the memory impairment due to each of them... So I begun taking St. John`s Wort 2 weeks ago. I don`t experience any spectacular recovery, the effect is very subtle but I can function... I`ve been reading lost of posts on this site and can`t understand how comes that none of you experienced worst depression coming back after a while of being drug free. Maybe I missed something...maybe I didn`t try hard enough...all I know is one month ago I couldn`t think, almost couldn`t speak as my mind went blank, couldn`t work, couldn`t do simple things... Dania

09-22-2005, 08:06 AM	#2
Delynbetter Join Date: May 2005 Location: Texas Posts: 10,518	Re: depression(not withdrawal) again/need advice Dania, I am so sorry for your situation. There have been a lot of people who have had the recurring depression after coming off of the medication. I'm sure some will speak up during the day to let you know you are not alone. A lot of us here were put on Paxil for the wrong reasons and without any warning (usually because the doctors didn't and still don't understand) of side effects and withdrawal symptoms. All of us have become each other's support system going through everything, so we try to be as encouraging as we can no matter what the situation is that each person has been left to try to deal with in life. You are NOT alone and there are some very wise people on here who have suffered through the worst of depression, are still suffering bouts of depression, or are still suffering depression constantly. They will be here sometime during the day and will be able to lead you to the sources to which you can refer. I wish you the best and welcome to the board. At the very least, there is a lot to be learned about all different kinds of people and lives, and hopefully you will be able to find some kind of light to help you through your difficult times. __________________ Diagnosed anxiety/panic disorder without agoraphobia 1989. Talk/music therapy. Major anxiety and mild depression in 2004 from situational stressors. Began Paxil CR 25mg, 10/04. Quit cold-turkey 5/5/05 as demanded by doctor. Found paxilprogress 5/17/05. Began Paxil CR 12.5mg 5/17/05. Weaned 4 1/2 months. During taper - anx/panic/depression, manic episodes, agoraphobia, suicidal ideation, many other physical symptoms. Paxil-free 10/2/05.

09-22-2005, 10:52 AM	#3
scotty Administrator & Advocate Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: new jersey Posts: 38,590	Re: depression(not withdrawal) again/need advice Dania, Welcome! I'm trying to get the timeline of your antidepressant use. Am I right that you are now off drugs for 1 year? If thats the case you still have to look at the physical changes that were made in your brain during the AD use. Altering the neurotransmitters for that long a period of time will take time to heal. Some neurologists are now saying 2-3 years for recovery from long term AD use. __________________ AKA Laurie "If you can find a path with no obstacles, it probably doesn't lead anywhere." ~Frank A. Clark

09-22-2005, 11:13 AM	#5
scotty Administrator & Advocate Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: new jersey Posts: 38,590	Re: depression(not withdrawal) again/need advice After ryan went through withdrawal I can remember him telling me "after this hell, anxiety is a piece of cake". __________________ AKA Laurie "If you can find a path with no obstacles, it probably doesn't lead anywhere." ~Frank A. Clark

09-22-2005, 11:16 AM	#6
rdjanis "has a lavender scented keyboard" Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Ontario Posts: 22,238	Re: depression(not withdrawal) again/need advice Our kids have come a long way! __________________ Rita

09-22-2005, 12:15 PM	#7
MizzT Banned Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: NM Posts: 6,881	Re: depression(not withdrawal) again/need advice depression.....fish oil loads of it. of course....start slowly. only 1 gram. work yourself up slowly. Im DOWN the past couple days. my fishy intake was down to 3 grams daily for a while now. i believe if i just go back to my 6 grams i will feel better in a day or so. and...the depression right now is stress related.....so i do think the fish oil helps for this.

09-22-2005, 12:34 PM	#8
Light Join Date: Nov 2004 Posts: 2,271	Re: depression(not withdrawal) again/need advice I agree with the fish oil. The other thing is exercise. I know this sounds absurd when you are depressed but it can be so, so, helpful. Research shows that it's as powerful as antidepressants but with a much lower chance of relapse. Are you getting enough sun? __________________ Drug-free since 4/9/05 If you ever teach a yodeling class, probably the hardest thing is to keep the students from just trying to yodel right off the bat. You see, "we build to that. " — Jack Handey

09-23-2005, 05:22 AM	#10
dania Join Date: Sep 2005 Posts: 66	Re: depression(not withdrawal) again/need advice Thank you all for being so supportive, this is a great site Yes, I am drug free for over a year. I`ve been through about all withdrawal symptoms enumerated on this site. From what I gather there is not so much of a difference between withdrawals from antidepressants, no matter the class (TCA or SSRI). I`m taking fish oil for 3-4 months now. Do any of you have depersonalization related to anxiety? I`m going to post a question about it. It would help to know I`m not alone. Dania

09-23-2005, 10:42 AM	#11
rdjanis "has a lavender scented keyboard" Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Ontario Posts: 22,238	Re: depression(not withdrawal) again/need advice dania, this was one of my daughter's symptoms which led to the medication roller coaster....pre paxil. She now has her anxiety under control which eliminates the depersonalization. It was worse during withdrawal. A long story, but her story started with an incident a school with a school principal, still today should she enter a classroom the depersonalization sets in. She is going to start talk therapy this November to see if she can conquer this last step in dealing with her anxiety. __________________ Rita

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