I'm new!!

[eroom1369]

Hello all!

I'm new to this forum. I stumbled across it, while trying to find information about paxil withdrawal. I have been taking Paxil since June of '02. 20 mg daily. I have a minor heart condition, known as atrial fibrillation. It's an intermittent rapid, and irregular heart beat. It happens about once, or twice every couple of years, and i have to be hospitalized to restore a normal heart rate. Until I started taking Paxil, I had been having terrible anxiety, about my heart condition. I was constantly paranoid, about my next heart episode. It was starting to control my thoughts, and lifestyle. Enter Paxil. after a few weeks of taking the drug, my anxiety, and paranoia were all but gone. I felt alive again. I continued with paxil until 3 weeks ago. I decided to quit cold turkey, not realizing what would happen to me. I am currently experiencing wild mood swings, dizziness, problems with my vision, vivid and morbid dreams, muscle spasms, depression with suicidal thoughts, head aches, and most of all extreme fatigue, and nausea. I have managed to get through it to this point. My wife is insisting that I go back on Paxil, however I refuse. It can only get better right? It has been a monumental struggle, just going through day to day activities. I am so happy, that I have found an outlet, to share my experiences. It is nearly impossible for my family to understand what I am going through. I get the old "just shake it off" routine. They have no idea the hell that I am going through. I am a 33 year old man, and this has brought me to my knees. I am hoping that the symptoms will begin to subside, and I can get my life back to some semblance of normalcy. I look forward to checking in here, and updating you on my progress. It is so nice to have people that understand what I am going through.

[Katesmom]

Originally Posted by eroom1369

It can only get better right?

Wrong!!! It would make reasonable sense, but anecdotal evidence shows otherwise. Tapering slowly will significantly ease the long-term effects of withdrawal. People who cold turkey off of Paxil have much more severe and protracted withdrawal. That means that if you taper slowly, you could experience problems for 10-18 months. If you go cold turkey it could be 2-3 years. I know that others on this site have had this experience, and I have no doubt that they will chime in with their experiences soon.

The bottom line is: how much are you willing to suffer? How much are you willing to put your family through? The rages, anxiety, fatigue and multitude of other physical and psychological withdrawal symptoms will affect their quality of life as well.

Sorry if that seemed harsh. I genuinely welcome you to our community and wish you the very best.

[mdladie]

Katesmom is right......cold turkey brings only more problems.

[corinne]

eroom;
welcome and congratulations on your decision to be Paxil free. I don't know how you function for that long going cold turkey from 20mg. I missed taking a pill once and literally needed to crawl along the floor to the cupboard for another pill. Once I had the pill I curled up in a ball like a junkie, clenched, until the meds started working again. Not fun. I planned a very slow taper. Waited for my holidays to carry it out and the process took over four months.
Good luck to you, we know what you are going through.
Corinne

[nomorepaxil]

Welcome eroom!

Everyone's got it right... tapering slowly is the way to go. And you may not want to hear this, but your wife is right. You should go back on Paxil and slowly wean off. It will make you feel so much better. Not to say that you won't experience ANY withdrawal symptoms this way, but they will be greatly minimized.

Please take care of yourself! This is a great community and is the place to visit to help you get through it.

[scotty]

Welcome eroom! Atrial fib is a scary feeling! Now, cold turkey isn't the way to go with paxil. The best analogy I can give is that instead of slowing the car to a stop, you throw it in reverse! One thing to consider is going back on a lower dose(say 10mg) and what for the symptoms to resolve. This could take a few weeks. THEN and only then wean again by a max of 2.5mg/wean. Some can only tolerate 1mg at a time(this requires liquid paxil) Cold turkey does NOT speed the process up, it actually slows it down. Most of withdrawal is giving the neurotransmitters in your brain the time to adjust to the new environment slowly. When you cold turkey you throw the brain into chaos! Try going back on 10mg and stabilize. Vent away here, we truly have been there and done that and understand it only so well!!

[Jenny123]

I'm pretty new here too, so I may not have the experienced words of wisdom of some of the old timers. You are very brave to be taking this step. You are worth the time it takes to taper down. Be gentle with yourself. This group seems to be a great source of information; listen to the experienced folks here - but also be sure there are people who know YOU as well as Paxil. If you have a doctor you can trust, you may want to work with him or her; give yourself as much support as you can. Let your wife & your close friends know what's going on, and ask them to watch you, to make sure you don't start losing yourself.

[MizzT]

Originally Posted by Katesmom

If you go cold turkey it could be 2-3 years. I know that others on this site have had this experience, and I have no doubt that they will chime in with their experiences soon.

i have to say i read this thread right after it was posted.....but i have a really hard time responding to people who have chosen to go cold turkey as i did. its hard to tell someone to turn around. you couldnt have told me to turn around and slow down and wean.

im 2.5 years past....and finally maybe making a turn around. i cant tell anymore. its been so long since my last paxil. some things are better, some things have gotten worse. sure....nothing quite as intense as those first 3 weeks.....but last winter rocked my world and i have been recovering from that all year.

cold turkey does not speed it up.
"it can only get better".....yeah....right now for the moment. but down the road it could get ugly by the drastic shock to your system. then again...you may be fine in a few more weeks.
only time will tell
but dont expect it to be any time real soon if you do it this way.

[rc1904]

I survived cold turkey but I can't say I recommend it. It's a very cruel thing to do to your body. I'm not sure I agree that total withdrawal takes longer than a slow taper, but it is most definitely harder on you. I've been reading posts here for several months now, and I'm convinced that those who taper slowest have the most success and least amount of discomfort. For me the worst part of cold turkey wasn't the physical symptoms -- and I had them all -- but it was the anxiety that showed up 3 weeks later and lasted a couple of weeks straight. It was like a blinding light of sharp pain, just horrible. My withdrawal lasted 54 days before "normal" returned. So, if you can, taper slow and take it easy on yourself!

[Delynbetter]

I hated the symptoms and it was the endangerment I put myself and my children in when I couldn't tell the difference between reality and a dream that convinced me that something was horribly wrong. The taper was MUCH easier. I still have a little bit to go, but at least my family and I are safe. (Not to mention the other drivers that were around me during that time. )

[Pat Shields]

Yo, welcome.

Simply put - usually I would agree with cold turkey; that's what I did and I am no worse for the wear. However, a-fib is not something to dick around with, and any change of this magnitude should be under a doctor's supervision.

[eroom1369]

Thanks for the response everyone. Well last night really threw me for a loop. I had a horrible, vivid nightmare, that I was being strangled to death by my deceased step-father. This is incredibly strange, because i had a wonderful relationship with him, and I miss him very much. He passed suddenly 5 years ago. The dream was so intense, that it woke me up, with a yell. When I awoke, I was terrified. I believe that I saw an apparition of a cloaked man on a large horse standing over my bed. He glared at me with red eyes, and disappeared. I woke my wife up, and told her what had happened. At this point I was having a panic attack. My heart began to race, and my teeth were chattering uncontrollably. After several minutes I began to calm down. My wife and I sat in bed, and discussed how my life was spiraling out of control, with the symptoms, and bizarre behavior. I reluctantly agreed to go back on Paxil, with a 10 MG dose, and wean myself. I took my first dose this morning. I'm feeling ashamed, and disappointed in myself.

[rdjanis]

eroom, do not feel ashamed and disappointed! You are doing what you have to in order to get through the withdrawal. Once you stabilize on the 10, go very very slow.

As for the nightmares, this is one of the nasty symptoms of withdrawal, but they do go away.

[elisa]

Please do not feel ashamed and disappointed!

I'm glad that you are choosing the tapering route. 68% of us get withdrawl symptoms ranging from mild to severe....

First, establish yourself on the 10 mg dosage for a few weeks. Then please taper very slowly (10% of the dose) so that you still will be able to function. You may need the liquid Paxil to do so and it is readily available. Just remember that the tapering is a journey and not a race. Going faster than what your body and mind allows will NOT shorten the healing process.

[MizzT]

Originally Posted by eroom1369

This is incredibly strange, because i had a wonderful relationship with him, and I miss him very much. He passed suddenly 5 years ago. The dream was so intense, that it woke me up, with a yell. When I awoke, I was terrified. I believe that I saw an apparition of a cloaked man on a large horse standing over my bed. He glared at me with red eyes, and disappeared.

ok....this is about as close to my hallucination/apparition as i have ever heard anyone else describe.

altho i had a whole crowd of cloaked apparitions all telling me to kill myself.

also....that...i had a good relationship to him.
typical in my opinion. my dreams were always the closest people to me and the most horrible things.

glad to hear you are going to wean. dont be ashamed.....be safe.

[eroom1369]

After re-reading my message, I realize that I sound like a total nutcase! I apologize, and asssure you that I am not crazy.

[elisa]

Originally Posted by eroom1369

After re-reading my message, I realize that I sound like a total nutcase! I apologize, and asssure you that I am not crazy.

No - you're NOT crazy. No need to apologize, so many of us go through the very same thing you're talking about. If so, all of us who get horrible nightmares due to withdrawl would be. Paxil affects our REM sleep and that's only a tiny part of the whole package deal. I could tell you of some real goodies as well..

[Delynbetter]

Stop that! We've heard and/or been through everything you wrote about and we have all received the same response of "just shake it off".

We welcome you to the board and in no way should you be ashamed for any of your feelings or experiences. These people are a great support system. Stick around. You'll hear all kinds of stories around here.

[rdjanis]

Originally Posted by eroom1369

After re-reading my message, I realize that I sound like a total nutcase! I apologize, and asssure you that I am not crazy.

Actually, it is because of these withdrawal symptoms that so many end up back on meds, the docs diagnose more mental health labels, when all along it is the meds. In my daughters case, I guess because she was young I was told she was experiencing 'night terrors', and that it is not a big deal and common with children. The docs really have NO ideal of how real these dreams feel or how horrible they can be.

The nightmares are common, you are not alone, and definately do NOT sound like a nut case.

[scotty]

Nutcase, NO, paxil withdrawal cold turkey YES!! I could relate some of Ryan's dreams in withdrawal that would make your skin crawl! Good for you for going back to weaning... smartest move you've ever made!

[MizzT]

oh yeah....not crazy. like i said....i had a whole crowd of "them" around me and i heard voices for like 15 months after paxil. it is what it is....doesnt mean youre crazy tho!

paxil cold turkey it radical

[Katesmom]

Originally Posted by eroom1369

After re-reading my message, I realize that I sound like a total nutcase! I apologize, and asssure you that I am not crazy.

I hope you don't really think that, b/c if you do, you're bound to think the rest of us are crazy too!

Please, do not be disappointed in yourself. Even GSK advises that Paxil users taper and not go cold turkey on these meds. That is a huge concession for them b/c it's just a step away from actually admitting that SSRIs are addictive.

You're only human, just like everybody else here. We're in this together, even if we are a bunch of nutcases!

[paxilgirl]

eroom,

Don't feel ashamed and don't think you are crazy....listen to those who advise you not to go cold turkey....they have experienced it and are giving you first hand information on what NOT to do. I wanted to stop it cold, but didn't and I thank these people everyday of my life for guiding me on my weaning....they are great and friends for life!