Today I took my last Paxil!

Jenny123 · 09-22-2005, 08:13 PM

I'm pretty new here - been lurking for a while & posted my first message today (about delayed withdrawal symptoms). I went on Paxil about 10 months ago, staying at 10 mgs, and about 3 weeks ago tapered down to 5 mgs. Monday I started having ridiculous mood swings. It feels like my emotions have been covered in bear fat & put on a slippery surface. I made an emergency appointment with my doctor this afternoon. Armed with information from this site (and elsewhere), I was very clear about NOT wanting to continue with the Paxil. She said that stopping at this point was probably not going to make things any worse than dropping to 5 mgs did. She offered to cross-medicate me onto Prozac, but said she wouldn't push it if I didn't want to take it. So no more for me. Hooray!! I have a couple of pills left that I've cut into quarters (2.5 mg) if things worsen.

I had been very apprehensive about going on the drug in the first place. I was on a Thorazine/Ritalin coctail for a couple of years as a child (7 to 9.5 years old) and it really turned me off psychopharms. But I plunged into a mind-boggling depression after my partner of 11 years left me for a 19-year-old a couple of weeks after my 40th birthday. I thought I could tough it out, but after about 4 months of no sleep, 3 hours of crying a day, and losing about 30 pounds, I realized I really needed some type of help beyond just talking about it. The Paxil did help a lot, actually - but I never thought of it as something permanent. Just something to keep the symptoms in check while I dealt with the issues at hand (and the issues that had been festering for 40 years - like how angry I am at my parents for putting me on Thorazine and Ritalin just because I had the audacity to express my emotions).

Anyway, just knowing that I have "permission" to stop taking pills seems to have helped a lot. I hadn't realized how much the daily act of taking the pills had put me in the "good little girl taking her meds so she doesn't have those annoying emotions" state of mind. And reading the stuff here has helped immeasurably. Information is an amazing tool. It also feels good knowing that this community is here for me as I go through whatever the withdrawal turns out to be. Several people have said that it's a healing process. I'm trying to construe it that way, and it's helping (when I can remember how to construe stuff - or even what construe means - language tends to go away when I'm really emotional). It's also comforting reading what other people are going through. It's good to know that I'm not alone in this.

nomorepaxil · 09-22-2005, 08:21 PM

Hi Jenny, CONGRATS!! Woo hoooooooo!!!

And thank you for sharing your story. I'm glad to hear that you're doing better and feel well enough to get off the Paxil. It is such a feeling of victory on that first day that you're FREEEEEEEE!!!

You've come to the right place. We're all like a family here and are here to help you through the "healing process". That's really what it is. A process. So keep us posted on how you're doing!!

Light · 09-22-2005, 08:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jenny123

She said that stopping at this point was probably not going to make things any worse than dropping to 5 mgs did.

It's hard to understand the above logic. Not only are you in the midst of acute withdrawal but going to zero is often worse than previous reductions. This is a double whammy. Having said that I completely support your efforts to be drug free and to live life on life's terms with a full range of emotions. Best of luck and please know that are lots of great people here to help you in your journey.

babs · 09-22-2005, 08:42 PM

Jenny, going from 10mg to zero in 3 weeks is pretty fast. I urge you to consider staying on the 5mg a bit longer, then dropping to 2.5 before you quit altogether. A lot of people find that those last couple of drops are actually the hardest, and I would hate to see you putting yourself through it when a slower taper can make it a lot easier. Your brain is going to heal at it's own pace, so quitting faster doesn't mean you heal faster, it just makes it harder on you.

Jenny123 · 09-22-2005, 09:02 PM

OK, you've convinced me. I'm going to take 2.5 mgs a day and see how that goes. If the symptoms continue or worsen I'll go back up to 5 mgs.

scotty · 09-22-2005, 09:04 PM

Good choice!!

rc1904 · 09-22-2005, 11:21 PM

Remember you can get liquid paxil and taper down even more slowly if needed.

09-22-2005, 08:13 PM	#1
Jenny123 Join Date: Sep 2005 Posts: 6	Today I took my last Paxil! I'm pretty new here - been lurking for a while & posted my first message today (about delayed withdrawal symptoms). I went on Paxil about 10 months ago, staying at 10 mgs, and about 3 weeks ago tapered down to 5 mgs. Monday I started having ridiculous mood swings. It feels like my emotions have been covered in bear fat & put on a slippery surface. I made an emergency appointment with my doctor this afternoon. Armed with information from this site (and elsewhere), I was very clear about NOT wanting to continue with the Paxil. She said that stopping at this point was probably not going to make things any worse than dropping to 5 mgs did. She offered to cross-medicate me onto Prozac, but said she wouldn't push it if I didn't want to take it. So no more for me. Hooray!! I have a couple of pills left that I've cut into quarters (2.5 mg) if things worsen. I had been very apprehensive about going on the drug in the first place. I was on a Thorazine/Ritalin coctail for a couple of years as a child (7 to 9.5 years old) and it really turned me off psychopharms. But I plunged into a mind-boggling depression after my partner of 11 years left me for a 19-year-old a couple of weeks after my 40th birthday. I thought I could tough it out, but after about 4 months of no sleep, 3 hours of crying a day, and losing about 30 pounds, I realized I really needed some type of help beyond just talking about it. The Paxil did help a lot, actually - but I never thought of it as something permanent. Just something to keep the symptoms in check while I dealt with the issues at hand (and the issues that had been festering for 40 years - like how angry I am at my parents for putting me on Thorazine and Ritalin just because I had the audacity to express my emotions). Anyway, just knowing that I have "permission" to stop taking pills seems to have helped a lot. I hadn't realized how much the daily act of taking the pills had put me in the "good little girl taking her meds so she doesn't have those annoying emotions" state of mind. And reading the stuff here has helped immeasurably. Information is an amazing tool. It also feels good knowing that this community is here for me as I go through whatever the withdrawal turns out to be. Several people have said that it's a healing process. I'm trying to construe it that way, and it's helping (when I can remember how to construe stuff - or even what construe means - language tends to go away when I'm really emotional). It's also comforting reading what other people are going through. It's good to know that I'm not alone in this.

09-22-2005, 08:21 PM	#2
nomorepaxil Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: Southern California Posts: 94	Re: Today I took my last Paxil! Hi Jenny, CONGRATS!! Woo hoooooooo!!! And thank you for sharing your story. I'm glad to hear that you're doing better and feel well enough to get off the Paxil. It is such a feeling of victory on that first day that you're FREEEEEEEE!!! You've come to the right place. We're all like a family here and are here to help you through the "healing process". That's really what it is. A process. So keep us posted on how you're doing!! __________________ -Prescribed Paxil in 2000 for social anxiety disorder and panic attacks, 20mg -After the first dose, felt dizzy and disoriented, reduced to 10mg -Stabilized, continued at 10mg for 4 years -Decided to taper in January 2005, dropped to 5mg for 6 months, then tapered (too fast) to 0mg starting in June 2005. -PAXIL-FREE SINCE JULY 5, 2005 -Then found PP (wish I discovered it sooner!) -Currently on the road to recovery, experiencing every bump in the road, it seems.

09-22-2005, 08:42 PM	#4
babs Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: San Diego, CA Posts: 4,942	Re: Today I took my last Paxil! Jenny, going from 10mg to zero in 3 weeks is pretty fast. I urge you to consider staying on the 5mg a bit longer, then dropping to 2.5 before you quit altogether. A lot of people find that those last couple of drops are actually the hardest, and I would hate to see you putting yourself through it when a slower taper can make it a lot easier. Your brain is going to heal at it's own pace, so quitting faster doesn't mean you heal faster, it just makes it harder on you. __________________ Babs Paxil 20mg 1994-2005 2 failed attempts to quit Tapered Jan-April 2005 Paxil-free since May 1, 2005 "Glinda the Good Witch informed her that she had the power to go home all along; all she had to do was click her heels together. Why hadn't she told Dorothy that in the first place? Because, explains Glinda, she wouldn't have believed it, she had to learn it for herself."

09-22-2005, 09:02 PM	#5
Jenny123 Join Date: Sep 2005 Posts: 6	Re: Today I took my last Paxil! OK, you've convinced me. I'm going to take 2.5 mgs a day and see how that goes. If the symptoms continue or worsen I'll go back up to 5 mgs.

09-22-2005, 09:04 PM	#6
scotty Administrator & Advocate Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: new jersey Posts: 38,590	Re: Today I took my last Paxil! Good choice!! __________________ AKA Laurie "If you can find a path with no obstacles, it probably doesn't lead anywhere." ~Frank A. Clark

09-22-2005, 11:21 PM	#7
rc1904 Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Northern California Posts: 269	Re: Today I took my last Paxil! Remember you can get liquid paxil and taper down even more slowly if needed. __________________ rc1904 :-D Paxil/Paroxetine Free Since March 18, 2005 ___________________________________ "Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has." -- Margaret Mead

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