How much longer! i can't stand it!

[sherijo]

Hi,
my name is Sheri, and I have been off of paroxetine 10mg for 1 month and 4 days. i hate life.. Everything is a chore now! i can't stand getting up from sitting, I can't stand doing anything.. I'm so irritated all the time, my teeth are chronically clenched. One second I feel like I'm high, the next minute heart racing, terrible anxiety.. then I feel exhausted. I have to talk myself into doing everything. Walking across the room. I feel so full of anxiety, I just want to punch the wall. I cry at least twice a day.. It seems to be getting worse instead of better. Had to leave work on friday because of a wicked panic attack that lasted over 2 hours. i dread going to work.. I just want to see the light at the end of the tunnel you know? When I decided to go off, I started taking Amoryn (St. Johns Wort). I am not sure if this is making things worse or not. I feel so lost. I can't afford to miss work ( i am an hourly employee) I have no health insurance. I just wish I knew what to do. A couple of my friends are noticing changes in me, and they don't like them. they have problems with my aggressiveness and irritablity.. they don't understand. I feel very alone.. I live alone. I feel like a caged animal but have no desire to leave the house. I dread it. i am still taking xanax .25 mg once a day, just to try to keep my head from shooting off the top of my neck!
My doctor told me I may experience some withdrawal. there have been a couple of days where it seems like I am fine.. and then whammo! i get a panic attack, or my mood turns on a dime.. i feel like I am starting to be conditioned to dread and fear. this withdrawal process is rotten!
I just need to know that it's going to stop, that I will be normal, where I don't feel like I am in some heightened state, and that my brain isn't completely destroyed. Am I going to live in fear and dread forever? is this going to stop.. i am trying so hard to stay off this drug, but i feel like it is making me incapable of anything. i take deep breaths all the time, can't seem to make this feeling stop. Like nails on a chalkboard.. i don't know what to do.. I started taking magnesium, gave me diarrhea. It seems like everything I put in my mouth makes me feel weird. like my sugar is screwed up too. Is there anyone out there that was on this low of a dose and had this many problems?
appreciate any help or advise you can give me here.
Sheri

[Delynbetter]

Did you quit cold turkey or taper?

[sherijo]

I tapered. maybe not long enough though. my doctor said since i was on such a low dose that taking it every other day and then every 3rdday would be ok.. that lasted about 2 weeks.. i just wanted to be off.. i felt good for the first week or so.. and then it got bad.. i don't understand. this drug should be OUT of my system now.. why is this happening.. I mean, hearoin users don't take this long to detox!

[bon13]

It sounds like you tapered too quickly. I was on 10mgs for 4 years and I have been slowly tapering since July. I still have 2.5 mgs to go. I think even those of us who were on low doses get very addicted to this drug so we also have to take it slow when getting off of it. It's funny.. my doctor told me the same thing yours did,e.g. that I was on such a low dose that I could taper off of it in three weeks. Fortunately, I did my research before following his instructions and I found this website. I didn't listen to him because he's out of his mind to think I could get off of this stuff safely in 3 weeks. I'm not sure what you should do at this point. Hopefully others with more experience can give you some useful advice. Best of luck to you... hang in there, you will get through this.

[Delynbetter]

You did taper too fast. And yes, the drug is out of your body and that's the problem. Your receptors have been left fully exposed to feelings that have been numbed since going on Paxil.

The every other day or every 3 day thing isn't optimal, or even tolerable. The best I could ever do was every 36 hours...and at the end of withdrawal (2.5mg down) the symptoms would show up if I missed a dose by a few hours.

It can be done. Itty bitty dosage drops, but a dose taken every day, is the road to take. I've been completely off for over a month now. I'm not in a real good mood and I'm still having the occasional zaps and emotional outbursts - but my life is back without having considered taking a dose since that last one.

[Delynbetter]

bon13, my doc came home and just told me to stop. He's better educated now.

[scotty]

Sherijo. The best thing you can do right now is to restart paxil at maybe 5mg and see if you get relief.Stablize at that dose(or higher if you need to) and then do a slow wean. Maximum of 2.5mg wean. Stay at that dose for at least 2-3 weeks or until symptoms dissappear. Your brain needs time to readjust to the consistently lowering doses, or you end up where you are right now. This isn't going to be a quick wean.. so get that out of your mind, but it will be done safely if you go slower.

[Scott]

i'm not sure how long you were on the drug but judging from how you're feeling it doesn't really matter.. you tapered too fast. If you can't tolerate how you're feeling right now you should go back on 5mg and wait awhile.. then go down 1mg at a time not going further until you're ready. There's really no other way. Read the ssri link in my signature.

[sherijo]

Scotty, i am sure you are right, but the way I see it, a month out of my system is better than starting over.. this month has been hard enough, i don't want to take that stuff ever again! I guess, even in my freakish state, that going back to that drug is like giving up on myself. if i have come this far, why go back 2 steps? Is this just foolish? my head is such a mess I just don't want anything to do with paxil again ever!

by the way, did anyone notice increased heart rate when going off?
my pulse is much higher than it used to be.. blood pressure a little but not too much.

[sherijo]

thank you scott, that was EXTREMELY helpful!

[Scott]

how long were you on?

[scotty]

Originally Posted by sherijo

Scotty, i am sure you are right, but the way I see it, a month out of my system is better than starting over.. this month has been hard enough, i don't want to take that stuff ever again! I guess, even in my freakish state, that going back to that drug is like giving up on myself. if i have come this far, why go back 2 steps? Is this just foolish? my head is such a mess I just don't want anything to do with paxil again ever!

by the way, did anyone notice increased heart rate when going off?
my pulse is much higher than it used to be.. blood pressure a little but not too much.

Sheri, that fact that you are one month off it is tempting to continue, but I have to tell you that even with weaning recovery can take months. Why be absolutely miserable when you don't have to be? Stopping paxil quickly doesn't mean that the symptoms will be gone quicker.. it's actually the opposite.. it can prolong the withdrawal.

[Scott]

Originally Posted by sherijo

Scotty, i am sure you are right, but the way I see it, a month out of my system is better than starting over.. this month has been hard enough, i don't want to take that stuff ever again! I guess, even in my freakish state, that going back to that drug is like giving up on myself. if i have come this far, why go back 2 steps?

everyone thinks that.. you're not starting over by going on a small dose that will be enough to get you out of your current hell.. if your brain is going to take 6-9 months (just a figure) to heal, it's going to take that long.. how you feel in the process is determined by how fast you taper... or don't taper. Trust me, you'll wear out faster than you'll recover if you stay the way you are.. if you can't take it consider going back on a small dose.. this isn't failure.. think of it as though you had just tapered to that amount.

by the way, did anyone notice increased heart rate when going off?
my pulse is much higher than it used to be.. blood pressure a little but not too much.

yes i had high heartrate too.. magnesium will really help this.. read the magnesium thread at the top of the supplement section

[sherijo]

Originally Posted by Scott

how long were you on?

I was on 20 mgs from about march04 until about march 05 and then 10mg since then until a month ago.

this is the second time I've been on. the last time I got off paxil i used lexapro to get off paxil, and I also switched to that because of the sexual side effects of Paxil.

Then in jan, feb 04, both my parents were hospitalized (near death situations)
and my grandfather (who ended up passing) and i lost my job, had to stay with gram to help her because my parents couldn't. and came home to my dog having a stro9e, putting him down. by the end of this horrific 6 weeks, I was having such bad panic attacks everyday I knew I had to go back on.. tried to go back to Lexapro, and it did no good. went back full tilt on Paxil. felt better for a while, but just ended up lethargic. dropped to 10 for a long time, still had lots of lethargy.. knew i had to be off this drug.. i'd rather cry than feel numb and disassociative.

thank you for taking the time to talk to me today. i really appreciate it.
sheri

[sherijo]

Originally Posted by bon13

It sounds like you tapered too quickly. I was on 10mgs for 4 years and I have been slowly tapering since July. I still have 2.5 mgs to go. I think even those of us who were on low doses get very addicted to this drug so we also have to take it slow when getting off of it. It's funny.. my doctor told me the same thing yours did,e.g. that I was on such a low dose that I could taper off of it in three weeks. Fortunately, I did my research before following his instructions and I found this website. I didn't listen to him because he's out of his mind to think I could get off of this stuff safely in 3 weeks. I'm not sure what you should do at this point. Hopefully others with more experience can give you some useful advice. Best of luck to you... hang in there, you will get through this.

thank you for your supportive words! i still can't believe at this low of a dose it is such an ordeal! prayers to you and your success!
sheri

[elisa]

DROP the St. John's Wort NOW!! Do NOT take any antidepressant and St. John's Wort together!! That can lead to serotonin syndrome. Don't take it either when off the med for at least a year, or until you have healed.

[sherijo]

Originally Posted by elisa

DROP the St. John's Wort NOW!! Do NOT take any antidepressant and St. John's Wort together!! That can lead to serotonin syndrome. Don't take it either when off the med for at least a year, or until you have healed.

that link scott posted said the same thing!
as of right now, i will not be taking it anymore!
thank you!

[babs]

Hi Sheri,

You have gotten some very good advice and I hope you take it to heart. Withdrawal is not easy but can be made much more tolerable when you do it in baby steps. I wish you the best of luck and keep posting your questions, there is a lot of wisdom here.

[sherijo]

Back again. Been reading for an hour or so.. I was trying to find out what peoples anxiety has been like.. I have 2 really GREAT days, and I think I over did it, now I am in 3rd day of HELL.. It seems to bring my anxiety down if I cry.
The 2 really good days I had, i started the morning off with Oprah, and they were both good (positive cry) episodes.
My heartrate is high constantly, even when I wake up, and I am back in the habit of checking my heart rate again. My blood pressure is up.. sometimes the bottom number hits 100, which scares me to death. I think I am ususally in throes of panic when it gets that high though. Even resting it is 138/92.
That scares me. I am not sure what to do.. i've had 3 panic attacks today, and finally.. crying seemed to help.
I live alone, and I wonder.. is this panic or something else? when it doesn't stop after a while, I get scared and think.. should I call an ambulance.. will I die if I don't? should I ask someone for help? who will help me?
I have had NO caffeine today and my heart rate is 102. I don't get it.
any suggestions?

[Scott]

have you started taking magnesium?

[sherijo]

i was taking it, but it gave me.. diahrrea. (sp?)

[Scott]

how much were you taking? that's an indicator that you're taking too much.. don't just stop it totally, it will help with the heart symptoms.

[sherijo]

just one small pill a day.. i think 250 mg?

[Scott]

hmm.. can you maybe take more fiber along with the magnesium? do you supplement fiber at all?

[sherijo]

no.. should I? I have chronic indigestion. I'm a mess. You know what is funny? before I started taking paxil i would never burp.. ever, i couldn't it was weird. now I am the belch queen!