be honest now seriously,,

[davencmnj]

im 22 months off paxil . and i dont seem to be getting better..
a lot of friends and some doctors think ishould go back on something,,
if so what should i take ,, because im really going out of my mind .,
no lie,. what else can i do .
problems -
out of body feeling
no interist in any thing ---but i have every thing in the world im spoiled,,
bad vision
no appetite
i just feel like **** to be honest with you all ..

should i go back on something
i cant take this any more



please help is this permanent brain damage.. i need to tell my employer

[challenge]

i was exactly in your situation. this outa body feeling and no interest thing was the worst symptom ever. it took me a looong time to get better yet i have that stil but itgot better somehow. in my opinion before going on any med, i suggest you to try natural stuff. tried to go on meds in the midst of my darkest times and showed a bad reaction and became worse than i was and i developed other symptoms like skin rashes and skin pilling off, and the outa body thing got worse and became suicidal a day after taking the med. the part you cannot see now is that, the thing will go away slowly. at that time for months i was planning about suicide every minute. i was very hopeless. i was dying to feel better even for a minute and i couldn't feel better. nothing mattered to me but just torture to stop. i think its better to go something smoother than med if you are going to take some action. i saw in supplement section a link www.theroadback.org they claim they can eliminate the withdrawal to a great extend with their formula. i haven't tried it yet but i might give it a shot.
may you get outa this scary, exhausting and hellish tunel soon

[Amaya's Nana]

You know Dave its your choice. No one here is going to tell you to go back on medicine. But, you do know from some people's experience here when they went back on they didn't have a good reaction to it. I know you want relief but after obtaining all the info on this site, aren't you a bit frightened to take any kind of SSRI?? I know I am. Knowledge is power and its the power to stay off that crap. I've been to the website theroadback.org and as the poster said above, I am SERIOUSLY considering getting their supplements and trying it out. You've been through an awful lot in the recent past. Please hang on. I know its hard to be patient.

In the end though, its your decision. At least you know what the dangers are of these drugs and base your decision upon that.

My thoughts and prayers are with you.

[rdjanis]

Dave the question you pose is one that only you can answer. It is definately a tough one, I am not sure that ssri's are the answer.... look what they have caused this far.

Know that what ever decision you make we are here for you.

[dar7726]

Dave, you asked so I'll tell you what I think. You have gone through a really rough time. I'm twenty six months out and I'm still not what I would call 100 percent due to sleep issues. If you go back on meds you will (in my opinion) be prolonging your agony, throwing 22 months away and starting this process all over again. Of course I am not a doctor (thank God) or I'd be handing out this **** to unsuspecting victoms, but you asked.

Darlene

[Homerbcool]

Originally Posted by dar7726

Dave, you asked so I'll tell you what I think. You have gone through a really rough time. I'm twenty six months out and I'm still not what I would call 100 percent due to sleep issues. If you go back on meds you will (in my opinion) be prolonging your agony, throwing 22 months away and starting this process all over again. Of course I am not a doctor (thank God) or I'd be handing out this **** to unsuspecting victoms, but you asked.

Darlene

can only relate this to my quitting smoking twice, the snd time just 5 months ago...and the one thing that keeps in my mind..is WHY DID I PUT MYSELF THROUGH WITHDRAWL TWICE..THE FIRST TIME SUCKED..THE 2ND TIME DOUBLE SUCKED..but this is not tabacoo, this is brain stuff, and like Rita said only you can answer that...

[heyK]

Dave, two things: First, withdrawal can last up to two years or a little bit longer. Second, you recently quit drinking. Not only can alcohol have its own withdrawals (which includes dizziness, etc.), but drinking probably slowed your healing time down from the Paxil withdrawal. I believe that the brain can only truly heal if you're 100% drug free--including alcohol. So you're on the right path now. You just need to accept that you're not of the ordinary for what you've put your brain through (Paxil, alcohol, Ativan). You're doing the right thing now. So accept that you will get better. But try to give up the notion that it will happen tomorrow. Easier said than done, I know, but it's essential.

[Llewdrac]

Originally Posted by davencmnj

im 22 months off paxil . and i dont seem to be getting better..

There's real truth to the old saying

'It's always darkest just before the dawn.'

One of the things they're always telling us in meetings is

'Don't quit before the miracle happens.'

Now, as others have said, only you can decide what you need to do. Only you can decide if you've had all ya can stand.

However...

I think you're almost through this.
I think you should tough this out, just a little while longer.

... but what the hell do I know, I kinda like the zaps!

Whatever happens though, know you'll be in my thoughts and prayers!

[Bern]

Originally Posted by davencmnj

should i go back on something i cant take this any more

please help is this permanent brain damage.. i need to tell my employer

If you decide to go back on Paxil to end the pain of withdrawal, you aren't loosing. You just putting a delay on winning, and I told Elisa this.

I was in your shoes....my depression from Paxil withdrwal got so bad, I ended up in the mental hospital because of it. I was despereate for anything, so I let them put me back on Paxil. I'm still on it, but one of these days, when I'm ready, I'll try to wean off of it again. I didn't loose by going back on it!!! I just put a delay on winning.

But wait!!!!!! Your 22 months off.....that means that you are almost at the end of the tunnel!! I wish I was in your shoes.......your almost there.

[squirrel]

I had this dilema at 12 months ,I was so sick of it all and my doc offered me another A/D.After careful consideration I decided to carry on and I am glad I did as ( fingers crossed I am having better days)

[TRC]

Hey Dave
I have also been paxil free for around 22 months now after many years of use. As you know everyone's situations is different in this stuggle and only you know your limits, but why not give it few more months. You've came so far. I myself noticed a big improvement in the heightened depression and anxiety at 18 or 19 months and though I still have my days things have remained fairly calm. When I started this I first thought I'd give it a year but now I feel three years is more realistic given the length of time I was on the sh*t. Once again only you know what you can tolerate and if you have to go back on something thats not a failure, you did the best you could and no doubt you've learned alot about yourself.

Hang in there
Tom

[safarigal]

Dave its not permanent.

Look inside you, what is in there? Is Dave in there? I'm sure he is You have to look down deep and see him. Cuddle him, carress him and tell him its time to heal.

Many of us who have come out the other end of Paxil have learned new coping skills and discovered the strength within us. This is the strength needed to survive and thrive without drugs and/or alcohol. You have it in you but only you can find it and use it.

Look deep Dave....its right there.

[davencmnj]

thanks for all your replies ,I will give it a couple more months..
i feel that im missing out on a lot of normal things, like being ME
the goofy ol dave when will i have that back

thanks again pax people , just keep me going. i hope im at the end of my terriable tunnel i think i need new batteries. i cant see.

[Lottie]

Dave your situation is very similar to mine. I gave up St. Johns Wort at about 22 months and started to feel REALLY bad again. I was off work for about 2 months. I couldn´t think or do anything. I felt so spaced out/out of body, and kept thinking I was gonna loose the plot and do something really stupid. At the time I didn´t think it could still be withdrawal, but since I have stopped SJW I have started to recover properly. Please don´t give up now, I am sure it´s giving up drinking thats making you feel so awful. The brain can´t recover while drinking or taking any other drug. As I have told you before, be patient, this is not permanent you will recover!!!!!

[davencmnj]

[rdjanis]

You'll be ok Dave, just keep your focus on getting well.... don't give in to any drinking urges. You will get there!!

[sheacarney]

I'm still not what I would call 100 percent due to sleep issues

Amen, sister. I'm RIGHT THERE with ya. I agree with everything else Darlene said, Dave. You have had a VERY hard time recently, paired with protracted withdrawal syndrome to boot. You also just quit drinking. Don't judge yourself or give up just yet Dave. Of course, that's just my opinion. Only you can decide what is best for you.

-Shea

[zappelina]

Dave, hang in there! You´re still in withdrawal and will get better. I´m 26 months off and know that withdrawal can last for ages because I still have the physical symptoms. Blurred vision, zaps, night sweats, flu symptoms, vibrations through body, muscle cramps etc etc. Of course you´re the only one who can decide what to do but when you reach the two month limit you have set now, remember that what you experience then can still be withdrawal and will get better.

[davencmnj]

thanks again i just need more reasuring.., i feel this wont go away,
please keep me going ..
i just dont understand????

[sheacarney]

vibrations through body

Odd isn't it? I still get this from time to time. I take note of it and try to ignore it. It doesn't hurt; it's just annoying. It used to be all the time. Now, it tends to happen when I haven't slept at all, in a night, which still happens, from time to time (day before yesterday ). Mercifully, the sleep issue is not as persistent as it once was. I wait for the day when it is no more.

We're with ya, Dave. It's a different time table for everyone.

-Shea

[dar7726]

I still get the vibrations through the body as well on occasion or feel an inner tremble....at 26 months.

[sheacarney]

What the heck is it?? It has, on occasion, felt like a beeper going off in my foot; sometimes the ball and sometimes the heel. It's not constant anymore, but it comes and goes, and when it comes it pulses or comes in vibrating waves. So strange.

[Buxy`s Back]

dave ,you know im right there with ya,after 3 bugs,a house move,and my son being so poorly im the same,dizzy,out of body,headaches,joint aches and pains,feeling wired and totally had enough right now.I do know that all this recent stress had contributed to reliving my symptoms and not giving myself time to heal im my own worst enemy as soon as my body will allow im off decorating and gardening,i don,t know how to rest,22 months is too long to throw away,im having days where i just want to give in its never getting better but hey i aint done 21 mths for fcuk all,like you im prepared to see it to 2 years(if they don,t cart me off first),i feel like a mental case at times but hey iv felt like this since day one of being drug free so hey i know what it is.
Like iv said b4 dave this is hard but lets stick at it hey???

[davencmnj]

yes jo shea and everyone else who has helped me and everyone else on this
site i cant wait to look back and and wonder what the hell ive been through.
untill then im still holding on to this roller coaster.
what a long STRANGE trip its been,,

[scotty]

Originally Posted by davencmnj

what a long STRANGE trip its been,,

Now THAT'S an understatment!! Strange it is!