Tell Me This Gets Better... And WHEN???

[wanting2quit]

Little background...

Have been on and off Paxil for the past four years due to anxiety. I have only taken a 10 mg dosage, even though 20 was recommended to me at one point. Went off cold turkey, got pregnant a month later, and went back on in my third trimester due to preterm labor. I gave birth to a healthy boy and sayed on Paxil for a while. Stopped CT, and got put back on it again.

My Dr., whom I have been going to see for over 15 years (I am 30) thinks there is really no such thing as Paxil withdrawl, and that when I stop taking it, the panic attacks I get are not because of withdrawl, but instead my body proving to me that I need to be on Paxil to calm down. My Dr. also openly takes SRRIs herself and swears by them.

So... basically, I am kind of in this alone.

My husband and I really want to start trying for a second child, and that is why I started weening off. At the end of May, I went from 10 mg. to 5 mg. I am still on 5 mg.

My question is... when does this get better???

I feel like I am getting panic attacks daily... although I feel like they are shorter and I can begin to talk myself down from them. I have no appetite, but am forcing myself to eat. I can't fall asleep at night, and am then exhausted during the day. I often feel feverish, and that my heart is racing.

I know this is because I am weening, and I know I have to get through it. But man... it is one of the most difficult things I have had to do in my life! I keep telling myself, "tomorrow will be better", but if it isn't, I tend to get a sense of dread and wonder if I will ever get through this.

I thought some of these symptoms (ie. panic attacks) were supposed to start going away? Am I wrong? WIll they get worse if I go down a dosage? At this point, I am totally okay with waiting to conceive again... I just want to feel better, and strong.

Thank you for any advice... it is greatly appreciated. I am SO glad I have found you all, and this site!

-SB

[angels]

In a word, yes.

The very best most valuable thing I can say is go S-L-O-W. Very few MDs or humans on earth know about, much less acknowledge withdrawal from Paxil. For you, I would say 10 to 5 was too big a jump. Everyone is different. But the good news is that the rest of your withdrawal schedule is under your control. But not the time element. Please do your brain, organs, body, psychological well being a favor and proceed in a healthy way.

These drugs alter many systems and the body must repair and heal. Going fast inflicts unnecessary harm. Best to you.

[Trying66]

Wanting2, my son initially went from 10mg to 5mg. It was extremely difficult for him, but he managed to get through it. For him it seemed to get worse before it got better. What I mean is that I expected after about a month that things would calm down. Instead, it took about 8 weeks before we noticed him doing better. Weeks 5 to 7 after the first two dose drops seemed to be the worst for him, with debilitating panic attacks and frightening rages. By week 8, we noticed marked improvement.

Because of unforseen circumstances, we had to wait 5 months to finally pull the Paxil away. The two months preceding this last dose cut were wonderful months for him. The anxiety, headaches, mood swings, and insomnia had all faded. He was back to enjoying his life.

He is now at 2 weeks of no Paxil and things aren't looking good again. Of course, past experience tells me that it will peak and it will get better. Hang in there. Don't give up hope. You'll get there just like he did.

[scotty]

A 5mg drop is a big one. Stick where you are until things calm down and don't make the next wean any more than 2.5mg.

Oh, your doctor... is an idiot! Sorry, any doc who allows his patient to take paxil in the third trimester of pregnancy for pre term labor, denies withdrawal, and encourages cold turkey is worthless.

[silence4now]

Originally Posted by wanting2quit

My Dr., whom I have been going to see for over 15 years (I am 30) thinks there is really no such thing as Paxil withdrawl, and that when I stop taking it, the panic attacks I get are not because of withdrawl, but instead my body proving to me that I need to be on Paxil to calm down.

This is why so many people are in imprisoned by these drugs. I feel really bad for you. I hope you will look for another doctor who won't try to feed you this big pharma bull!

The timeline is different for everyone. I was exponentially better at 8 months off versus 8 weeks. It just takes time. This stuff does a real number on your brain.

[babs]

The thing about Paxil withdrawal is that it isn't linear ... you don't feel worst after a drop or after quitting altogether, and then start to feel a little bit better every day after that. I wish! Unfortunately it's a rollercoaster, and we don't really know exactly why. You will have good days and bad days. You could feel great after a drop and then feel lousy a week later. The thing to remember is that over time, you do gradually get better and better, it's just hard to realize it with all the setbacks. It's kind of a two steps forward, one step back kind of a thing. You ARE progressing, and it's worth it. Hang in there.

[Katesmom]

Don't think of tapering reductions in absolutes ("It was only 5mg"). You have to think of them as percentages. You reduced your dose by 50%. Wow! That sounds like a lot, huh? It was! Slow it down. Everything that you are experiencing is completely normal withdrawal. And believe me withdrawal DOES exist. I was put on this drug for a physiological reason and so I know for sure that the emotional issues I had in withdrawal were not a relapse. Your motto should not be "tomorrow will be better." It should be, "everyday is a day closer to well." Subtle, but vital difference. Another good one, "If you are going through hell, keep walking."

This withdrawal business does get better. It will start with stabilizing at this dose, which you must allow yourself to do. Then, by decreasing more slowly, it may not be quit so horrid next time.

And, without a doubt, you have to get a new doctor. If your doctor is not willing to make you a full partner in your care and is unwilling to validate your reality, then it is a waste of time and money to continue with them. Find one who will support your quest to be drug free. You might be able to find one that will give you an Rx for the liquid paxil that will allow you to taper the rest much more slowly!

Best of luck to you!

[Homerbcool]

Originally Posted by scotty

Oh, your doctor... is an idiot! Sorry, any doc who allows his patient to take paxil in the third trimester of pregnancy for pre term labor, denies withdrawal, and encourages cold turkey is worthless.

at what point does a doctor become legally or criminally tagged....I mean come on..telling a pregnant woman to take paxhell..that is criiminal negligent all the way..what is he trying to do..where did he get his diploma..is this him

dr.nick.gif

[Pajo]

This is the first thread I've read here except from my own. You hadn,t have any panicattacks before Paxil? I also lowered my dose abruptly from 10 to 5 mg because I didnt think such a small dose would matter but it did.

[nicemom]

I think we had the same doc. Mine also told me that my withdrawl symptoms were not that but my body saying it was not ready to be off paxil! That was about 4 years ago. Its taken me a long time to gather information and make my own choices. I quit CT at 10 mg. I, like you, was so tired of going through withdrawl just cutting back so figured I would just get it over with. Not the best idea. If I had to do it over I would have taken it much slower.


Good luck and glad to meet you!

[Pajo]

What happend when you did a CT on Paxil? Is it getting better or how how do you fell now? What was your diagnosebefore Paxil? I dont think we had the same doctor I am in sweden and in contrary to what most americans think Sweden isn't a state in the US ;-) Just kidding! You have one big advantage in US when it comes to doctors you can sue them we cant! I didnt do a CT I weaned over a 10 month period rom the microdose 10 mg and if I am like this when I did it so slow I dont dare to think what could happen if I did a CT

[wanting2quit]

Thank you for all of the posts... they are very much appreciated!

Katesmom... I LOVE the qoutes you posted... I am going to write them both down and read them every day.

I also have another question for you all... when does the racing pulse get better? I swear, I am ready to go see a cardiologist, even though I am sure my heart is fine.

To address the comments about my doctor, she is a very well established, very well trained and educated, very popular doctor here. In fact, she only takes new patients on the request of another patient, she is so busy. Also, she, my OB, and an additional OB all tolds me that there was NO harm in taking Paxil in my third trimester, that there was only harm in taking it in the first.

Now... they no better.

I actually miscarried in December or 2005. I was on Paxil when I got pregnant, and my Dr. told me to go ahead and keep taking it. Then, when I was about 6 weks pregnant, she left me an urgent voicemail telling me to stop taking it right away, as it had just been classified as a Class D drug. I don't want to "blame" the misscarriage on anything, as I know there are a lot of reasons as to why I may have miscarried, but sometimes I can't help to wonder if the Paxil played a large role.

Interesting sidebar: My whole family goes to see the same Dr. My mom has been having some stress... not sleeping, acid reflux, etc., and my Dr. gave her some sleeping pills to try. My mom hated them. Anyway, my mom went for a follow up appointment, and my Dr. told her she could try taking a new drug for the anxiety, and my mom said NO. My Dr. then told her that this drug (my mom didn't remember the name of it) is supposed to be the "new Paxil", and that she isn't prescribing Paxil and Zoloft as often anymore because the medical community is just now becoming aware of all of the side effects. DUH!!!!

Honerbcool... I couldn't open your attachment! I will try again. But I already know it isn't him, because my Doc is a she !

And to Pajo, he Swede... you mean Sweden isn't a city in the U.S.? ??? I did have panic attacks before, kind of. Basically, I was so stressed, I would lose my appetite and then panic about getting sick (which I never did!). However, I NEVER had panic attacks as bad as I did when trying to get off Paxil!

[wanting2quit]

Okay... just want to say that I really can spell, I have a college degree and everything... I swear! Please excuse my spelling errors in advance!

[wanting2quit]

Homerbcool... I can see the picture now! LOL!!!!

[wanting2quit]

Hi All... I am bumping this up in the hopes that someone will check it today.

First of all, I feel like I need to apologize. I feel like I come on here and always have a question or a complaint and am looking for help. I just want you all to know that I soooo appreciate each and every post I get here, and you all are helping to play a major role in my recovery. As soon as I am feeling a bit better, I plan on checking here regularly and hopefully helping people that will be in my shoes.

I had a very scary episode this morning...

I work up, got my son ready for daycare, then got back in bed for a few minutes before I had to get ready for work. My husband had taken my son to school, so I had about a half an hour to relax before jumping in the shower. I dozed off for a few minutes, and woke up realizing that my breathing was fast for some reason. I didn't think too much about it though. I got up, and got in the shower and felt like I was going to pass out or have a heart attack. My pulse was soooo fast, I could not even count it. I got out of the shower and called the Dr. and my husband. My husband came home for a few minutes to check on me, and by the time I got home, my pulse was much lower... 84 bpm. I don't know what happened, and I am terrified of it happening again. Could this have been a panic attack or part of withdrawl?

I am waiting for my Dr's office to call me back. I am going to try and get an apointment today and let her know that I have been weaning and what happened. If she tells me I need to go back on a full dose, I will tell her no and ask for her help in weaning. If she dissagrees, I guess it is time to find a new Dr.

Thanks...

[Amaya's Nana]

Originally Posted by wanting2quit

Hi All... I am bumping this up in the hopes that someone will check it today.

First of all, I feel like I need to apologize. I feel like I come on here and always have a question or a complaint and am looking for help. I just want you all to know that I soooo appreciate each and every post I get here, and you all are helping to play a major role in my recovery. As soon as I am feeling a bit better, I plan on checking here regularly and hopefully helping people that will be in my shoes.

I had a very scary episode this morning...

I work up, got my son ready for daycare, then got back in bed for a few minutes before I had to get ready for work. My husband had taken my son to school, so I had about a half an hour to relax before jumping in the shower. I dozed off for a few minutes, and woke up realizing that my breathing was fast for some reason. I didn't think too much about it though. I got up, and got in the shower and felt like I was going to pass out or have a heart attack. My pulse was soooo fast, I could not even count it. I got out of the shower and called the Dr. and my husband. My husband came home for a few minutes to check on me, and by the time I got home, my pulse was much lower... 84 bpm. I don't know what happened, and I am terrified of it happening again. Could this have been a panic attack or part of withdrawl?

I am waiting for my Dr's office to call me back. I am going to try and get an apointment today and let her know that I have been weaning and what happened. If she tells me I need to go back on a full dose, I will tell her no and ask for her help in weaning. If she dissagrees, I guess it is time to find a new Dr.

Thanks...

CLASSIC panic attack!!! And it is a classic withdrawal symptom. Just know that you aren't going to die from it and "this too shall pass." Hey, don't be apologizing for coming here for support. That's why we all come here And the racing heart thing lasted for me the whole time I was weaning......it just beat really hard and faster than normal. Since I've been off Paxil 4 months now, my heart beat has returned to a regular rate. This stuff really does a number on your body

Edited to add: Magnesium has really helped with the heart symptoms AND the anxiousness I had. As long as I take 600 mg of Magnesium a day, I don't have any skipped beats or racing heart and I'm much calmer. If you aren't using any Magnesium, it may be helpful to start. Read up in the supplements section on "The Miracle of Magnesium." Its definitely an eye opener!

[summer bee]

Originally Posted by wanting2quit

I got up, and got in the shower and felt like I was going to pass out or have a heart attack. My pulse was soooo fast, I could not even count it. I got out of the shower and called the Dr. and my husband. My husband came home for a few minutes to check on me, and by the time I got home, my pulse was much lower... 84 bpm. I don't know what happened, and I am terrified of it happening again. Could this have been a panic attack or part of withdrawl?

I totally agree with Junebug: that's a textbook panic attack. Doesn't it feel like you're going to have a heart attack or something? The fast heartbeat makes you even MORE worried and it makes you breathe MUCH harder, and the extra oxygen makes you even MORE lightheaded...awful. Once, in college, I had a panic attack at night that was so bad I had to wake my roommate up just to tell her I was having one. I ran back and forth to the bathroom, thinking I was about to puke. I couldn't catch my breathe, and with each passing second I felt like I was going to pass out. I tried to take a walk down my dormitory hallway, but I couldn't even make it all the way down without getting scared and needing to sit down. (Is that agorophobia?)

Anyhow, they can be nasty -- but knowing all of the symptoms and being able to label it as a "panic attack" the second it starts will GREATLY improve your chances of getting through it with relative ease.

[wanting2quit]

THANK YOU Junebug and Summer! Sooooo much!!! Summer... it looks like we are posting on eachother's threads at the same time!

I told my husband this morning that I would feel better if I could just know that it was panic and not a heart attack! He actually suggested I come on here and post about it. I told him about this baord a few weeks ago when I found it, and he has actually been on it a few times too reading up on what is going on with me and others so he can understand it better. I love that man.

THANK YOU again!!!

Summer... I was also very nauseaus! I layed in my bed with my towel on for almost an hour because I was afraid that if I moved, I would run out of breat, and it would start all over again...

[Homerbcool]

These attacks are pretty debilitating...and you may want to start thinking of a reocvery means...something to catch your self... train your brain...when an attack happens...first acknowlegde it for what it is..a panick attack...no one has ever died from a panic attack.

Then get your breathing under control..I concetrate on it..1 second inhale...1 second hold...2 seconds exhale...then I do a mantra of sorts..."I am a good person who deserves to feel well..this is a panic attack and it is going away!"

[summer bee]

Originally Posted by wanting2quit

Summer... I was also very nauseaus! I layed in my bed with my towel on for almost an hour because I was afraid that if I moved, I would run out of breat, and it would start all over again...

I'm not surprised -- I can't ever remember getting nauseous during or after a panic attack, but I DEFINITELY got the "I don't want to (or CANT) move because I fear another attack will come" feeling. After awhile, I started to get panic attacks simply because I was always worrying about getting panic attacks.

Just be careful for a few days -- if you do any aerobic physical activity, your heart will probably speed up (as it does in ANY healthy person who is exercizing!). I know that I have problems exercizing when I've had a panic attack in the past few days; I automatically interpret that fast heartbeat as a sign of danger. Even though it's perfectly healthy!

But, as far as the shower goes: you might want to try listening to a little music in the shower. Put a portable radio in your bathroom, perhaps -- it makes showering a lot more fun, especially if you like singing, ha. It makes the time pass more quickly, and it will keep you from focusing on your last unpleasant shower experience.

There's some sort of psychological term for that -- when panic attacks tend to occur whenever you're in a location where one has happened before -- does anyone know the word? I know my roommate told me about it once, but I'll have to ask her again.

[wanting2quit]

Thank you all again!!!

Summer... I went from 10 mg. to 5 mg., a 50% drop. I didn't think it was that big of a deal... until I came here!

[Trying66]

Originally Posted by wanting2quit

Summer... I was also very nauseaus! I layed in my bed with my towel on for almost an hour because I was afraid that if I moved, I would run out of breat, and it would start all over again...

No doubt about it, that's a panic attack. Sounds exactly like what my son goes through. Nausea included. He too, doesn't want to move during these episodes. Don't be alarmed, for many people this is a big part of Paxil withdrawal. Over time, these attacks will lessen and then resolve. At least that has been my experience with my son's taper. Scared me pretty badily at first, because I thought that this was what he would have to deal with post Paxil.

Hang in there. It will get better.

[itsjustme]

hi everyone. i googled to get here, just because i was looking up 'paxil' because my dr. prescribed it and this morning i took my 3rd dose.

you guys are scaring me with what is being said/experienced in all these threads.

i'm 53 and experienced total meltdown this spring (for the 1st time in my life) .. went RUNNING to a doctor 6/6 crying and begging for help w/ depression, because the next day was supposed to be one of the happiest days of our life and i was a mess! (my 2nd grandchild was being born 6/7) ...

he put me on prozac 20mg and atavin for panic attacks ... after 3 wks, i told him it was doing absolutely nothing for me, and he upped it to 40mg ... i called him this past monday and said it STILL is not helping me one bit. so he switched me to paxil 20mg ...

i'm still pretty much a wreck./

questions ... what do you all mean by a ct and a srri?

p.s. friends of mine said zoloft is best ... agree/disagree? ... what helps all of you the most, with depression, crying, panic attacks, socio-phobia and suicidal thoughts? .... thanks in advance for your input.

[Homerbcool]

It's just me...welcome..I am going to start a new thread for yuo...your post in this thread will be lost" no one will see it unless they are interested ni this topic.....oh and welcme

[summer bee]

Hey, itsjustme! Welcome. I'm still relatively new here, but I'll try to answer a few of your questions.

CT, in this forum, stands for Cold Turkey (not Connecticut, as I first thought -- I think I read a phrase that said something like "So, I'm going through CT right now" and I thought the person was on the road.)

SSRI - selective seratonin reuptake inhibitor. It's the class of drug that Paxil falls under. Scotty (or someone else!) will probably jump in and explain the medical/technical information about it -- but I definately encourage you to search these boards. The archives are VERY helpful.

I'm surprised that your doctor upped your Prozac dose and then put you on Paxil after only three weeks of Prozac. Sometimes, antidepressants can take WEEKS to take full effect. Did he recommend any therapy to you as well, or did he just hand you a script? Meds tend to work best only if they're used in combination with therapy. (You can paint the house, but the beams could still be weak, you know?)