Am I wrong?

Shineysparkles · 11-17-2006, 12:02 PM

My newest therapist has put me on Lamictal, Topramax and Seroquil. I do feel like I'm starting to gain back my life. I'm still on 10mg of Paxil, down from 80mg. The Topramax has helped a lot with my severe headaches and the Seroquil is helping me sleep. I know the majority of the people on here are anti-drug, so I do feel some shame. It may be that I'm weak, but I don't feel that I am able to deal with life without medication. Before I started this new therapy I was afraid I would loose everything because I couldn't cope with life or work. Now I've started a new job after 16 years and I'm much happier and I get paid more with less stress. It was very hurtful leaving my last job. I had been there 16 years and though I had many friends there. I loved a lot of people there. I had given my two week notice. After the first week my supervisor called me at home and asked me not to return, they would pay out my last week. I e-mailed 2 people that I considered to be my closest friends to tell them how sad I was that I wouldn't be able to come back and I never got a response. That cut me very deeply. Those 2 people were responsible for packing up my belongings since I wasn't allowed to and it was done very inconsiderately. Just the day before one of them had given me a hug and said they loved me. I haven't heard form a single person up there since I left. Now I have no faith in people and that friendship really exists. At my new job I'm pleasant, kind and hard working. I'm not going to make the mistake of caring for people outside of my family anymore.

pantala · 11-17-2006, 12:17 PM

Shiney,
I'm glad for you that your new job is working out but sad that your former co-workers treated you that way. You deserve a LOT of credit for being brave enough to find a new job after 16 years. If your present meds make it possible for you to finish weaning from Paxil, I see no reason to have shame about that. You can decide as time goes by whether to wean from those drugs as well. Maybe being a better job will help you be strong enough to eventually cope with life med-free. Please don't lose faith in people! No, we can't trust everyone, but there are lots of wonderful people in the world.....I'm sure you'll find some of them.
Take care,
Kathryn

LCrawford67 · 11-17-2006, 12:29 PM

Shiney, please don't ever feel shame here. You're doing what you have to do and you're feeling better, that's what's important. As Kathryn said, this is helping you get off the Paxil.

Although I'm very happy for you with your new job, I'm sorry you were hurt by a job you were at for 16 years. It may be your co-workers, who you thought were your friends, don't feel comfortable e-mailing you from work. Some places of business are very funny about things like that, after an employee leaves. Regardless, not all people are like that and you'll find that out on your own. A TRUE friend wouldn't do those things to you, just keep that in mind.

I'm so glad you're feeling better!

Charlie · 11-17-2006, 12:52 PM

Shiney
The company may have blocked any incoming email from you and those people didn't get what you sent.

I only live a couple hours from Tulsa and if you ever decide you would like to try the tracking spreadsheet I put together I'll be happy to come to Tulsa and explain how it works and the theory behind it. I understand that you may not be comfortable with that and I completely understand but just know the offer stands.

Shineysparkles · 11-17-2006, 01:18 PM

Thank you guys, a whole lot for the support. You really made me feel better about what I'm doing with my meds.
As for friendship. I had had a friend that I loved like a sister for many years. We did everything together. After I lost a bunch of weight I started a relationship with what I thought was a special man. After sharing a lot with him and giving him something I can never get back, they ended up together. I lost my best friend and my first love. And to have people I worked with and cherished for many years treat me so coldly it's hard to have faith in friendship and loyalty. I constantly question my ability to trust my own judgement and feelings anymore when it comes to people. I have to stop myself because my first instinct is to trust.

Charlie, what is the tracking spreadsheet?

LossLeader · 11-17-2006, 01:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shineysparkles

I'm not going to make the mistake of caring for people outside of my family anymore.

No, no, no! Don't do that!

Just don't make the mistake of caring for the *wrong* people anymore. Be cautious. But keep a little faith - when you find people who deserve it, it's worth it.

I'm glad you're feeling a little better, whether it's with some kind of medication or not. We all have to do what we have to do.

Shineysparkles · 11-17-2006, 03:10 PM

My problem is knowing who the "right" people are. And when I end up getting hurt I don't want to let that happen again and feel I've done it to myself.
Thanks for the support guys. I really don't want to think about it anymore. I feel like a whiney baby.
I hope everyone has a good weekend and a
Great Thanksgiving!

Charlie · 11-17-2006, 03:12 PM

Here ya go, this should help explain it.

http://www.paxilprogress.org/forums/...hlight=Process

11-17-2006, 12:02 PM	#1
Shineysparkles Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: Tulsa, Oklahoma Posts: 43	Am I wrong? My newest therapist has put me on Lamictal, Topramax and Seroquil. I do feel like I'm starting to gain back my life. I'm still on 10mg of Paxil, down from 80mg. The Topramax has helped a lot with my severe headaches and the Seroquil is helping me sleep. I know the majority of the people on here are anti-drug, so I do feel some shame. It may be that I'm weak, but I don't feel that I am able to deal with life without medication. Before I started this new therapy I was afraid I would loose everything because I couldn't cope with life or work. Now I've started a new job after 16 years and I'm much happier and I get paid more with less stress. It was very hurtful leaving my last job. I had been there 16 years and though I had many friends there. I loved a lot of people there. I had given my two week notice. After the first week my supervisor called me at home and asked me not to return, they would pay out my last week. I e-mailed 2 people that I considered to be my closest friends to tell them how sad I was that I wouldn't be able to come back and I never got a response. That cut me very deeply. Those 2 people were responsible for packing up my belongings since I wasn't allowed to and it was done very inconsiderately. Just the day before one of them had given me a hug and said they loved me. I haven't heard form a single person up there since I left. Now I have no faith in people and that friendship really exists. At my new job I'm pleasant, kind and hard working. I'm not going to make the mistake of caring for people outside of my family anymore.

11-17-2006, 12:17 PM	#2
pantala Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: WDM, Iowa Posts: 441	Re: Am I wrong? Shiney, I'm glad for you that your new job is working out but sad that your former co-workers treated you that way. You deserve a LOT of credit for being brave enough to find a new job after 16 years. If your present meds make it possible for you to finish weaning from Paxil, I see no reason to have shame about that. You can decide as time goes by whether to wean from those drugs as well. Maybe being a better job will help you be strong enough to eventually cope with life med-free. Please don't lose faith in people! No, we can't trust everyone, but there are lots of wonderful people in the world.....I'm sure you'll find some of them. Take care, Kathryn __________________ "That which is like unto itself is drawn" - Abraham-Hicks, The Law of Attraction Family member of two who withdrew from Zoloft.

11-17-2006, 12:29 PM	#3
LCrawford67 Moderator "Everybody poops" Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Ohio Posts: 26,493	Re: Am I wrong? Shiney, please don't ever feel shame here. You're doing what you have to do and you're feeling better, that's what's important. As Kathryn said, this is helping you get off the Paxil. Although I'm very happy for you with your new job, I'm sorry you were hurt by a job you were at for 16 years. It may be your co-workers, who you thought were your friends, don't feel comfortable e-mailing you from work. Some places of business are very funny about things like that, after an employee leaves. Regardless, not all people are like that and you'll find that out on your own. A TRUE friend wouldn't do those things to you, just keep that in mind. I'm so glad you're feeling better! __________________ aka LC aka Laurie C. Paxil, 20 mg since 1997, for IBS Two unsuccessful attempts to quit. Started tapering 11/27/06 PAXIL FREE 12/29/07 If the only prayer you said in your whole life was, "thank you," that would suffice. ~Meister Eckhart Thanksgiving, man. Not a good day to be my pants. ~Kevin James

11-17-2006, 12:52 PM	#4
Charlie Join Date: Nov 2005 Posts: 7,562	Re: Am I wrong? Shiney The company may have blocked any incoming email from you and those people didn't get what you sent. I only live a couple hours from Tulsa and if you ever decide you would like to try the tracking spreadsheet I put together I'll be happy to come to Tulsa and explain how it works and the theory behind it. I understand that you may not be comfortable with that and I completely understand but just know the offer stands. __________________ The truth is the truth even if no one believes it, and a lie is a lie even if everyone believes it." Knowledge speaks ....... Wisdom listens Charlie www.ThePaxilProtest.com

11-17-2006, 01:18 PM	#5
Shineysparkles Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: Tulsa, Oklahoma Posts: 43	Re: Am I wrong? Thank you guys, a whole lot for the support. You really made me feel better about what I'm doing with my meds. As for friendship. I had had a friend that I loved like a sister for many years. We did everything together. After I lost a bunch of weight I started a relationship with what I thought was a special man. After sharing a lot with him and giving him something I can never get back, they ended up together. I lost my best friend and my first love. And to have people I worked with and cherished for many years treat me so coldly it's hard to have faith in friendship and loyalty. I constantly question my ability to trust my own judgement and feelings anymore when it comes to people. I have to stop myself because my first instinct is to trust. Charlie, what is the tracking spreadsheet?

11-17-2006, 03:10 PM	#7
Shineysparkles Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: Tulsa, Oklahoma Posts: 43	Re: Am I wrong? My problem is knowing who the "right" people are. And when I end up getting hurt I don't want to let that happen again and feel I've done it to myself. Thanks for the support guys. I really don't want to think about it anymore. I feel like a whiney baby. I hope everyone has a good weekend and a Great Thanksgiving!

11-17-2006, 03:12 PM	#8
Charlie Join Date: Nov 2005 Posts: 7,562	Re: Am I wrong? Here ya go, this should help explain it. http://www.paxilprogress.org/forums/...hlight=Process __________________ The truth is the truth even if no one believes it, and a lie is a lie even if everyone believes it." Knowledge speaks ....... Wisdom listens Charlie www.ThePaxilProtest.com

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