every freaking week is different.

[bfw1220]

well i started work this past week. it was weird being around people again haha. its cool but at some points i seem to get into this zone where i feel like im not really there. i go along with the motions but dont feel there. its weird. my blood tests came back and the only thing was my white blood cell count was slightly elevated, sign of an infection, although i did have a slight fever at the time it was taken. normal is 4.5-11.0 and mine was 11.8. my side pain is there slightly at times. the blood test said my liver was fine so i dunno?? i just dont feel right. feel very very out of it. still thinking im going to die. im analyzing the way im feeling every moment of the day. also my memory has gone to s h i t. its like i can remember things but it doesnt seem right. i havent drank in 2 weeks as well. i think the paxil is making me crazy, i really do but i dont know what to do now. i spent 2 months saying i need to stabalize but im still not right. cant shake the thoughts and the analyzing. i used to be unable to do normal activities, now i can do them...but they feel weird! feeling pretty lost right about now.

[Katesmom]

Have you read this:

http://www.paxilprogress.org/forums/...ad.php?t=15540

I fear very much that you might be experiencing poop out after the cold turkey. Everything you are experiencing sounds like withdrawal.

[bfw1220]

well what should i do?????

[Katesmom]

I don't know, Blake. If you think you can hang in there for a couple more weeks to be sure, then you could try this. If you are ready to accept that might be the case, then you have two choices. Up your dose, probably more than you would want to; even that is a crap shoot. Getting off is the only thing that is going to make you feel better. The good news is that you should actually feel better as you taper off. That's not a guarantee, though. By the time you get off, you should feel relief. It's up to you; but I think what you are doing now is not working for you.

[rdjanis]

Blake, this is what happens to many after cold turkey. I agree with Kim, sounds like poop out. Even if you choose to raise the dose, for some it does not work, for others it works temporarily. This is where the drug cocktails come into play. In most cases the new meds just add to the bad symptom list.

Your best bet, IMO, is to hang in where you are for a bit and see if you level off. If not, the only way to go is down, via a slow taper. Going up is only going to temporarily relieve symtoms, 'maybe'.

[tcl18]

Slow taper is the way to go. You still get withdrawal but its easier to manage and easier to cope. I had to go back fro 5 to 15 once just to get level and liveable - thena slow taper by 2.5mg. Took awhile and it was hard, byt not as bad as cold turkey.

[bfw1220]

well thank you everyone! crap i just dont know. going up to 20 almost sounds scary because i dont want to get in a cycle where i keep adding and adding. man i dont even know what normal is anymore. i guess i need to get some liquid and go from there.

[Katesmom]

Blake,

I honestly don't think 20 would do a thing for you. That is my concern about you going up to battle the poop out. I think that you would have to go up to 30 to feel relief. And like you said, that isn't much of a solution. If you can afford the liquid, I would highly recommend it for you. I don't think that you should waste anymore time at 15mg. I truly wish you the best of luck with this. You have really struggled and I hate to see that.

[bfw1220]

gah 30!!! oh man. i must be the only person in the world that can have a doctor tell me im fine and still think i have some disease. if i doubled my dose i would think i would become a zombie...thats what happened in the past. its so tempting to take more because the thought of feeling better is overwhelming! i hate this.

[Katesmom]

If you went up to 30 (and you should definitely work your way up as you might not need anything like that much; that's just my fear for you) the withdrawal effects would likely disappear, but all of the other side effects of regular use would be magnified. That is a no-win situation.

[scotty]

Sounds like it's time to make a decision. Either go up(and keep your fingers crossed) or get liquid and go down, slowly!

[bfw1220]

dont get me wrong i definiately wanna get off the crap...i just want to feel completely good before i attempt it! apparently 15 isnt doing it...

[scotty]

That's the problem with a restart after cold turkey..... that "feeling good" is usually never achieved. Ssri's don't work as well the second time around.

[Katesmom]

Blake, Even if you find a place where you feel good, as soon as you taper, you will go back into poop out. At that point, you will just have much farther to go. Once you have pooped out on a dose, you can't undo it.

[bfw1220]

my god. so because i quit taking a pill for 2 months the next couple years of my life are basically screwed. gsk should pay us for living like this.

[Katesmom]

Now you know why many of us who have been here a while and seen so many people suffer like this have no small amount of anger over these pills.

Don't write yourself off for two years. At this point, worry about today and plan for the next couple of weeks. Beyond that, let it go, because you have no idea what's in store and it might not be so bad. Just get your right now together.

[altostrata]

Blake, 2 years of discontinuation syndrome is truly unusual. A depressing fact for me, but it should be some comfort to you.

If I were you, I would stay at 15mg for a while and then taper. I would not increase my dose.

Your discontinuation symptoms, while undeniably awful, are relatively mild. You might check out the topics on depersonalization. Hang in there and you should be okay.

Treat your nervous system very, very gently. Don't take a lot of drugs or stimulating supplements. Your nerves need soothing. Try to get regular, gentle cardio exercise. This will help your system balance itself.