The 'Secret'

[Ariella]

Originally Posted by cally9096

"Harnessing your thoughts, excersising control over them, is not as difficult as it may seem. It is all a matter of discipline. It is a question of intent. The first step is to monitor your thoughts;to think about what you are thinking about.When you catch yourself thinking negative thoughts-thoughts that negate your highest idea about a thing-think again. I want you to do this literally. If you think you are in a pickle,in a doldrum, and no good can come of this think again.

This works SO GOOD for anxiety disorders. I used this technique religiously, and out-thought my anxious thinking.

[Caroline]

Thanks so much, Darcy, Kathryn, and Cally for your insightful responses! As usual, now I have more to ponder!! I feel better, and will not get too hung up on the actual word but focus more on what the feeling evokes in me.

I have just recieved "What the bleep do we know", and am waiting for my "Converations with God" DVD to arrive. I am very excited about seeing them.

I took a picture of "The Secret" with the red stamp from the cover of my book (I got the book as well as the DVD) and have it as the screen saver for the outside and inside of my cell phone. It's a constant reminder for me to keep focused on the positive. I have also placed little things all over the house to act as reminders. I found a beautiful, smooth white rock which serves as one of my gratitude rocks and it's on our windowsill in the kitchen over the sink. I also have a bunch of pretty rocks in a few different pockets.

I'm actually feeling pretty amazing since implementing what I've learned so far. It's very, very exciting for me.

The one thing I strive to do is to forever and always keep God number one. God is the one in my mind and heart when I ask the Universe/God for something. Now some may say....... well then why doesn't she put the word God on her cell phone rather than The Secret??? The Secret has helped to illluminate God to me in a new and powerful way, and Bible scriptures have a new clarity for me now. I think God is pleased with how one of his children is growing. I can feel it.

[nicemom]

That is so amazing Caroline!!!! It works if you use it. I am so happy that so many people have gotten so much from The Secret. I know it has been such a turning point for me too! Having this topic has gotten more people to share other things that work for them also. We all need all the help we can get while going through this challenge.

"I think God is pleased whith how one of his children is growing" You betcha!!! And don't ever doubt that!

[imokay]

Caroline thats AWESOME!!

[angels]

Originally Posted by Caroline

The Secret has helped to illluminate God to me in a new and powerful way.

A quote worth quoting.

[texgirl]

I saw the Oprah shows and have been following this thread with interest, and finally bought the book. While I agree with and support the basic premise of replacing negative thoughts and energy with positive ones to attract more good things into your life, there are some ideas I'm having a hard time understanding and accepting. If you apply the principles of The Secret, according to the chapter on health, Paxil withdrawal is nothing but an emotional and mental issue, caused by bad thoughts; Paxil Progress should not exist, since it involves people discussing their negative experiences, thus drawing that negative energy into their lives; and I should literally walk away from my friend who has breast cancer because by listening to her talk about her illness I'm encouraging her illness to flourish as well as drawing the negative energy of her illness to me.

I'm curious about whether anyone else has struggled with these ideas as well, and if so, how you were able to reconcile them. Where is the concept of having compassion and support for ourselves as well as our fellow human beings who are ill and suffering?

[pantala]

Texgirl,

I haven't read the book but am pretty familiar with the movie (own it, watched it a lot) and the way I would answer you is this:

Not every sentence or statement in the book or movie applies to everything. SSRI withdrawal and cancer and the attendant suffering is very real. The gift of the Secret is to help us learn to deal with these situations with grace. Denying these situations, pretending they aren't real, just shoves them deeper where they cause problems. Holding them up to the light, taking responsibility for them and then learning ways to diffuse their negative aspects will eventually heal them. That's what we do on PP. That's what I do when I practice EFT. Sometimes cancer ends in death. That doesn't necessarily mean the person with cancer brought that into their lives or didn't try to heal; but they have the opportunity to accept cancer and it's message with grace.

I'm careful now not to personalize all the messages that come to me from books and movies. Some messages are meant for other people, not you. But the authors of books have to write to everyone. If the hat doesn't fit (at least today), I don't wear it.

Best,
Kathryn

[texgirl]

I think what bothers me is that the book seems very specific and literal on this subect. I quote: "Illness cannot exist in a body that has harmonious thoughts." "You cannot 'catch' anything unless you think you can, and thinking you can is inviting it to you with your thoughts. You are also inviting illness if you are listening to people talking about their illness." "You don't have to fight to get rid of a disease. Just the simple process of letting go of negative thoughts will allow your natural state of health to emerge within you. And your body will heal itself."

I do believe that a lot of illness is caused by stress, which is exacerbated by negative thinking. But, according to The Secret, my friend caused her own cancer, and by talking with her about it, I'm attracting her disease into my life. In theory, the same goes for those suffering Paxil w/d. As someone who wants to live compassionately and connect with others, this philosophy feels very self-centered and alien to me.

[Caroline]

Texgirl.... Thoughtful question, and I look forward to reading everyones thoughts on this as well. I am very grateful that the Secret came into my life when I was almost fully recoved, as I don't know if I would have been able to wholeheartedly embrace it when I was in such a dark place and so physically uncomfortable. Thinking back I wonder if even if I had known the principles, was practicing them, and then did some backsliding and had bad days, if I would tell myself,..... "Well this stuff doesn't work!!!" and then it might have been dismissed forever.

Now that I'm feeling better (after feeling pretty crappy even 12 months off), I can with 100% honesty say that I am truly grateful (I know it sounds so "Secrety", but I really do feel fortunate to gave crawled along the bottom of the big black hole and lived there for a while. Because now that I'm better, it's a mind-blowing feeling......

[nicemom]

I ditto what pantela said. I was going to say basically the same thing but she said it much better than I could have. Just try not to take everything so literally. The whole concept is about being real, being honest with yourself and only giving certain things the thoughts they deserve. Not dwelling on issues, not trying to control things and other people, just accepting, living with gratitude for what is, not being angry for what is not. In w/d you can be angry and try to control what is out of your control, or you can accept what is and be positive and look forward and still be happy. Its about choices.

[Amaya's Nana]

Originally Posted by texgirl

I think what bothers me is that the book seems very specific and literal on this subect. I quote: "Illness cannot exist in a body that has harmonious thoughts." "You cannot 'catch' anything unless you think you can, and thinking you can is inviting it to you with your thoughts. You are also inviting illness if you are listening to people talking about their illness." "You don't have to fight to get rid of a disease. Just the simple process of letting go of negative thoughts will allow your natural state of health to emerge within you. And your body will heal itself."

I do believe that a lot of illness is caused by stress, which is exacerbated by negative thinking. But, according to The Secret, my friend caused her own cancer, and by talking with her about it, I'm attracting her disease into my life. In theory, the same goes for those suffering Paxil w/d. As someone who wants to live compassionately and connect with others, this philosophy feels very self-centered and alien to me.

Texgirl - you have brought up a very interesting point. I totally disagree with the philosphy you quoted from the book. There is no way in HELL that I invited Paxil withdrawal on myself. There is no way that children suffering from leukemia caused that because of their negative thinking. There is absolutely nothing in the world wrong with positive thinking and believing for the best. That's what got me through the worst parts of withdrawal. From a christian's perspective (me), we live in a fallen world where all is not perfect and sometimes, schit happens!! Whether we want it to or not.

[LCrawford67]

Lisa, girlfriend, I agree 100%!

[angels]

Just everyone know that I am speaking only for myself and have no idea the complexity of what others are dealing with.

I had a cancer that would put me in the grave in a few months. That's not messing around. So I didn't mess around. Although I didn't know the precise events at that time (although I do now), I made the decision to get rid of it. If I have that power, then I had to take ownership of my history. I knew a lot about this subject already, but it's one thing to think it in theory and another to put it into practice. There is no judgment in any of this; in fact, the only way it works is to not judge. Well, it's a long story, and the best way I can put it in a few words is that I created and experienced this in my life and knew what the result was going to be before the fruition of the results. I understand this is complex and hope no one takes offense, but I'm here to even write this paragraph because of decisions I made and actions I took. I knew a lot about this territory already and landed in a town that had a lot of books on it, Chapel Hill. This was a few decades ago, but the body of knowledge was out there.

[LCrawford67]

No offense at all, Angels! Everyone has their own beliefs and you certainly have first hand experience. I thank God you're well now and that's what's important!

[angels]

Originally Posted by texgirl

I'm curious about whether anyone else has struggled with these ideas as well, and if so, how you were able to reconcile them. Where is the concept of having compassion and support for ourselves as well as our fellow human beings who are ill and suffering?

Gee, you get right down to it, don't you. Both of your posts.

I'm afraid my reply was so short it seemed like magical thinking. Another short answer is that it's not a "thinking" but a "knowing" that to me is the definition of faith. And the good news is that you don't have to be a know-it-all about it and swagger down the street. You just have to trust. I know, it's not easy, and yet it is. It's a simple matter of remembering that it is within our grasp if we turn our heads just a little in another direction.

So the thinking frames our vision and if we're paying attention, we begin to act in line with our thinking. That acting begins to reshape not only our future, but our past. It's so tough to think about because we're not used to it.

Texgirl, I do agree with you, but I have to think about how to put it in words. It's something to do with being able to be truly compassionate without being captured by it which allows you to be present for that person with cancer. The alternative is to run away from someone with cancer (which many people do) or to feel sorry for that person (which many other people do). Neither one is good for the person with cancer or the person around them. The healthy response is to be with that person in that truth because at that moment both people become free. That is the most powerful and uplifting place to be. For both people. And that energy lifts both people.

I used to wonder how people could go to a conference and come out a different person. Then I began to understand that they were on a high and it slipped away not too long after that. People like Deepak Chopra have a lifetime of practicing. I think that ordinary people can get there through traumatic life changing experiences and being willing to embrace them with curiosity, without judgment, and with the gift of grace. I don't mean that it's easy; I think a component of the process is a point at which we allow ourselves to lose all hope and still stay with the experience. Something about that just opens it all up.

What I just wrote sounds a little like gibberish. I just don't know how to express it. Well, the only way I would know how is to write a little story of the various traumatic life events that led me kicking and screaming to where I am now which is a place of understanding that I never thought I would have.

[texgirl]

Angels, what you wrote doesn't sound like gibberish at all. It makes a lot more sense to me (and feels a lot more humanistic) than what I read in the book. Have you seriously considered writing about your experiences? I mean in some form like a book or essay, instead of just on this forum. You're very articulate and you have an interesting story and an interesting perspective. I, for one, would like to hear more of and about it.

Thanks, everybody, for your replies and for keeping this discussion going. It's definitely a thought-provoking subject.

[angels]

Originally Posted by texgirl

Angels, what you wrote doesn't sound like gibberish at all. It makes a lot more sense to me (and feels a lot more humanistic) than what I read in the book. Have you seriously considered writing about your experiences? I mean in some form like a book or essay, instead of just on this forum. You're very articulate and you have an interesting story and an interesting perspective. I, for one, would like to hear more of and about it.

Thanks, everybody, for your replies and for keeping this discussion going. It's definitely a thought-provoking subject.

Well, I am writing a book, but not really about that. It's about how East coast debutante society creates the perfect breeding ground for polite addiction. Pretty juicy, huh? Sort of the other, more real, and more interesting version of Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil. I'm about 20 pages into it which took about 8 months to understand what I was trying to do. Now I know what the rest of the book is. Well, since the subjects of the book clearly are not looking at a site about getting off of Paxil, I can say what the working title is. The Mathematics of Being Good.

[LCrawford67]

How exciting, Angels!! I just LOVED Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil, so this will be right up my alley. You'll have to keep us posted and give us PP members a special sneak peek!

[Amaya's Nana]

Originally Posted by angels

Gee, you get right down to it, don't you. Both of your posts.

I'm afraid my reply was so short it seemed like magical thinking. Another short answer is that it's not a "thinking" but a "knowing" that to me is the definition of faith. And the good news is that you don't have to be a know-it-all about it and swagger down the street. You just have to trust. I know, it's not easy, and yet it is. It's a simple matter of remembering that it is within our grasp if we turn our heads just a little in another direction.

So the thinking frames our vision and if we're paying attention, we begin to act in line with our thinking. That acting begins to reshape not only our future, but our past. It's so tough to think about because we're not used to it.

Texgirl, I do agree with you, but I have to think about how to put it in words. It's something to do with being able to be truly compassionate without being captured by it which allows you to be present for that person with cancer. The alternative is to run away from someone with cancer (which many people do) or to feel sorry for that person (which many other people do). Neither one is good for the person with cancer or the person around them. The healthy response is to be with that person in that truth because at that moment both people become free. That is the most powerful and uplifting place to be. For both people. And that energy lifts both people.

I used to wonder how people could go to a conference and come out a different person. Then I began to understand that they were on a high and it slipped away not too long after that. People like Deepak Chopra have a lifetime of practicing. I think that ordinary people can get there through traumatic life changing experiences and being willing to embrace them with curiosity, without judgment, and with the gift of grace. I don't mean that it's easy; I think a component of the process is a point at which we allow ourselves to lose all hope and still stay with the experience. Something about that just opens it all up.

What I just wrote sounds a little like gibberish. I just don't know how to express it. Well, the only way I would know how is to write a little story of the various traumatic life events that led me kicking and screaming to where I am now which is a place of understanding that I never thought I would have.

Angela -- what a beautiful post! Very thought provoking.

[angels]

Originally Posted by LCrawford67

How exciting, Angels!! I just LOVED Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil, so this will be right up my alley. You'll have to keep us posted and give us PP members a special sneak peek!

oh, gee, what have you opened up?
Well, I'd thought that this would be the perfect place to get some feedback on where I'm on target or out to lunch. 'Cause you know you lose your distance when you're in the middle of it. And folks here would give me... let's see... what's Scotty's phrase... scathingly honest... feedback.

Thanks Amaya's Nana. Sometimes I get kinda close and then other times it goes off in some wild direction like wild horses running in the Texas heartland.


Both of you two give such great support here. Pretty good examples of what makes PP so valuable.

[LCrawford67]

Yep! I've put you on the spot, Angels! I'm not really a "scathing" person, unless provoked, but I'd be more than happy to give you honest feedback.

This has got to be great therapy for you also.

[Katesmom]

Originally Posted by Angels

Another short answer is that it's not a "thinking" but a "knowing" that to me is the definition of faith. And the good news is that you don't have to be a know-it-all about it and swagger down the street. You just have to trust.

I'll buy that! I'm not so convinced that it's something interally radiated, though. When I was early in my pregnancy and had been hospitalized a couple of times and was still laying on complete bedrest in a hospital room (I wasn't even allowed in the hallway), things were looking very grim. I did not have that positive thinking for myself and it looked like my pregnancy could not be continued safely. My doc went ahead and sent me home and told me we'd give it a week. Something happened during that week--an internal revolution. Angela, your statement sums up perfectly the attitude that emerged. Doctors, the premier obstetric experts in the state, had given me some grim prognoses, but somehow, I knew it was all going to work out just find. I knew. I was right. Despite promises that I'd be lucky to make it to twenty weeks without having to be hospitalized and on IV drugs, my blood pressure started to improve after twenty weeks and continued to do so throughout. I had Kate at a healthy 38 weeks. And, as we all know, she's just about perfect. However, I wouldn't say that I decided to have that attitude. It's more like the attitude came over me. Personally, I credit intercessory prayer and finding a blood pressure med and dose that worked for me. Don't get me wrong, I think I could have hijacked my own recovery had I chosen to fall back into negativity, but I can't credit myself with choosing the positive.

[angels]

Originally Posted by LCrawford67

Yep! I've put you on the spot, Angels! I'm not really a "scathing" person, unless provoked, but I'd be more than happy to give you honest feedback.

This has got to be great therapy for you also.

naw... no worries. I'm practically immune to critiques to my writing because there is always some truth to what is said and, in my experience, is almost always right on.

[Healing]

You all might find this interesting -- a book called The Intention Experiment by Lynne McTaggart, just published. There is also a website by the same name.

[nicemom]

Some amazing ways this has been working for me:

#1 Money has been very tight and I was barely making ends meet. I was stressing about making a choice of getting another part time job because I didn't know what I would do with my daughter all summer, perhaps having to cancel my health insure which was costing me a fortune. About a month ago I get a call from a health insurance company offering a better package. I didn't end up going with that company but after talking to 4 companies I switched my plan and saved....$350/month, and it is MUCH better coverage than what I have now! I believe this all happend because I 'asked' for it.

#2 I got an above ground pool last summer and need to add a deck this summer. I have had the money set aside since last summer but didn't like either of the two estimates I got. So I put it off until this summer. I found out my neighbors were getting rid of their pool and I asked them if I could have their deck and they were thrilled to be able to get rid of it. They gave it to me for free and it is only 6 years old and in perfect shape! I found someone to take it apart in pieces and put it together at my house for $2600 less than a new one would have cost me! I believe this came my way because I 'asked' for it.

#3 My daughter and I would really LOVE a small vacation this summer but I told her we just really could not swing it this year. Well, with what I saved on the deck and things being easier since I am saving on my health insurance, I think we can afford to get away! I know this will happen because I 'asked' for it!

#4 I was planning my day this morning. One thing on my list was finding a UPS drop box and I was feeling some stress because I didn't have time to run across town, etc. When I was pulling out of my drive this morning there is a UPS truck coming down the street. I flagged him down, he said he could take my package! I asked him how it happened that he was on our little dead end street and he said he turned down the wrong street. I was floored. I believe that he turned down the wrong street because I 'asked' for it.

Amazing things are happening for me and I believe its because I am putting out positive thoughts. Instead of being angry and negative I change my thoughts and just know that it will all work out! And it definately is working!!!