crummy, crummy day

[gracemynote]

This has probably been one of the worst days so far in withdrawal and I'm 2 weeks off. Not only has it been pouring rain all day (and I had to be out in it for a bit) but today has just been terrible. Every two hours or so, I get REALLY sleepy and want to sleep. So I lay down, but I can't sleep! Instead, my body just feels really uncomfortable like I've slept too much or something and I get this terrible "nightmare". Anyone ever seen The Ring? You know how when people are watching the black tape and on the tape the picture changes/rips suddenly and makes this blur/static sound? Yeah that's what my head is like when I'm trying to sleep. It's terrrible. It's been happening every night since I dropped, but its a lot more prevalent now.

I'm going to take a .5 xanax to see if it helps. I tried exercising to see if that would alert me more but nope I'm still just so tired. So tired and unable to sleep. Also a bit more anxious too.

[tootall]

I am so in awe of you for being two weeks off. Yay for you!! Hope you're feeling better soon. Do any supplements work for you? I read some stuff about tyrosine in the supplements section. Just a little pick me up without the gittery of caffiene. Feel Better

[Johnnny off Paxil]

Yup, I know exactly what you mean. Just know that its this crummy drug thats doing this. I have the same issues. Normally I like to take an afternoon nap for 1hr or 2 on a Saturday. Nope , last time I did that , I woke up, a felt weird and before I could say Paxil, whammo Panic Attack.. heart rate went from 60 to 120 in seconds, my whole body felt weak, especially my arms and legs and I was "hovering" between calling 911 or just riding it out. So now , I just try to close my eyes and meditate as deeply as I can, "source out"..where in my body do I feel the fear and try my best to calm down and relax.

Hang in there, remember it takes TIME for the body to recover and TIME for this terrible drug to work its way out of your body, persevere and persevere again and again. Your strength lies not in fighting this but in the determination to "see this through" with the help of God and friends!!

Paxil does weird things to our perception during this "withdrawal stage"....today at the restaurant I felt what "depersonalization" was all about...like I wasn't in my body..I almost panicked..but then I said to myself its only the Paxil withdrawal..thats all it will pass..and my wife and I were able to eat in peace without having to "escape" as quickly as possible before a "full blown" happened..it didn't happen. There is still "weird stuff " going on right now and "maybe tonight" will be ok..maybe not....its important to be in the moment and not let fear take over. Moment to moment..day by day..week by week..month by month.

Take care

Johnny

[scotty]

Grace, these weird things are all part of withdrawal. Keep in your head that this stuff means that something is going on in the brain..HEALING!!!

[gracemynote]

My heart rate is increasing too, I don't know why. Weird.... Not to the point as you described but faster than usual. I'm gonna go hang out with some friends tonight, no drinkin though.

[Izzykat]

Congratulations on being Paxil-free, Grace! I wish you a speedy recovery in the coming days. One question does come to mind, though: Why did you do a nine month taper when you had been on the medication for only six months? Was that your doctor's recommendation? I don't mean to challenge or offend you in any way. I find it curious, however, that the duration of your taper would exceed the length of time you were at full dosage.

In any case, I salute your courage and determination!