Afraid, Afraid, Afraid!

[mscece]

The insurance man came last night we are increasing are policy since we bought the houwe and have new responsibilties. I am worried to death about taking the exam. For what I don't know Im afraid they will say I have some kind of disease. Cancer, Hep, Hiv. Meningitis. etc. Iv'e been with the same man for 9yrs a wonderful husband I dont suspect any infidelity and we've taken this exam before about five years ago.

I do hair and sometimes I cut my fingers Im worried what if one of my clients had a scalp abrasion and it rubbed up against one of my cuts w/o me knowing it.

About a year ago I whent and got my nails done and the tech knicked my finger with the drill he didn't know it but his finger touched some of my blood. What if I caught a disease he was'nt bleeding I didn't see any cuts or blood on his hands but Im still worried.

My father in law is in hosptial and has Hepatitis we whent to see him last weekend and I used the bathroom I keep thinking what if I caught something he also had a form of meningitis but the Dr. said its not contagious. I didnt sit directly on the toilet.

[mscece]

I lowerd my dosage three days ago to 7.5mg. Are these realistic worries. Im so worried Im becoming sick and I cant stop it. Im so afraid.

[mscece]

I keep thinking my insurance will be denied. My husband will leave me or kill me and we'll loose everything we have. All because I cut myself cutting hair or because the nail tech touched my blood and now Ive destroyed my family. I told my aunt and she thinks Im nuts.

[pax80]

TAke it easy, everyone here thinks theyhave any kind of disease... your brain is all messed up... take care and try to control yourself...
Paul

[mstimc]

MSECE--
The chances of contracting any disease under the circumstance you describe are so infinitesimal as to be impossible. Think of it this way--if serious diseases could be contracted in these ways, there would be a lot more sick people in the world.

In the early 1980's, my college job was working for the Red Cross transporting blood to hospitals. Every now and then a blood bag would have a bad seam and pop, and get blood all over our hands. This was before anyone heard of AIDS. A few years after I left the Red Cross, I got a letter from them saying I might want to be tested for HIV because of there was no test for it when I was working there. I freaked a little, but of course the test came back negative. If I didn't get it from 5 years working around blood, you wont from a little cut or using the bathroom.

I had a physical for my life insurance. Took abut 20 minutes and wasn't a big deal at all.

You may be dealing with a combination of withdrawal and stress over your house. Try to focus on the joy of getting a new house. I hope your fears ease!

[mscece]

As I read your post my eyes fill up with tears. My father died with HIV and so did two of my cousins. And since I was a teenager this has been one of my biggest fears. Although I've been tested several times always negative both me and my husband I still worry. I dont use any drugs other than Paxil Iv'e never cheated on my husband or anything I have no explanation for why I worry but I cant control it.

[mstimc]

Originally Posted by mscece

I have no explanation for why I worry but I cant control it.

That's the nature of our problems--our rational brains tell us we have nothing to worry about, but the irrational side conjures up all sorts of "what-ifs"; if we answer one, we create another.

Have you tried Cognitive Behavioral Therapy? I helped me learn to control my fears.

[mscece]

NO Iv'e never tried Cognitive Behavioral Therapy what is it?

[mstimc]

Originally Posted by mscece

NO Iv'e never tried Cognitive Behavioral Therapy what is it?

Basically, it teaches you several different methods of dealing with anxiety and depression by teaching you its the negative thoughts that drive your fears, rather than any external force. Then it teaches you a myriad of coping methods to address and eliminate your fears. For example, one method involves writing down your fear, and then what you're afraid, and what makes you feel that way. In a way, you are writing out the "what-if" game your mind is playing on you. You keep doing the what if until you get to the point where its obvious your fears make no sense.

I didn't do CBT nearly enough justice. There is a great book, called The Feeling Good handbook by David Burns M.D., and early proponent of CBT, that really lays it it out well. He uses a lot of case studies; 30 pages into the book, I felts as if he were writing about me. You can get the book at any bookstore for about $25.

It takes work, but you can get past this!

[mscece]

Thank you Tim I definitely will have to check that out. By the way what is cbt?

[mstimc]

Originally Posted by mscece

Thank you Tim I definitely will have to check that out. By the way what is cbt?

Shorthand for Cognitive Behavioral Therapy for those of us who are too lazy to spell it out!

[Chrysalis]

Mscece, I know how real these fears can seem, but I am certain they are fears borne of anxiety and Paxhell and all the joy it brings.

I don't want to say they are "irrational" fears, because that sounds like a judgment against you, and that is not at all what I mean. But in ALL likelihood, it is very unlikely that you have any of these diseases.

When my children were little I used to be obsessed with thinking I had HIV. I just knew that the hidden virus was waiting to crop up, and that my family would fall ill, one by one, and die. (Never mind that my Dr. had done prenatal testing and surely would have told me if I had HIV, and they would have taken special precautions to protect hospital personnel during my children's births. Rational thinking like this did not override my fear.)

One day, as I was laying on the couch about to fall asleep for a nap, "a voice" in my head told me that I did not have HIV and that HIV was not what was going to get me in the end. Somehow, I knew that uninvited "voice" out of the blue was God talking to me, and that fear was suddenly and inexplicably banished. It is the only time in my life that I ever felt I heard the voice of God speak to me so directly.

My story may not help you, except to know that others have been plagued by these fears, as well, and know how you feel.

I can objectively say that these fears are not based on persuasive facts, given your history. Try to focus on the fact that you have had negative previous tests, and no significant exposures. THOSE are the facts.

Be strong and know that your friends are here for you.

Margaret

[mscece]

Thank you Margaret, so much for your kind words and reassurance. Sometimes I become so fearful I convince myself that Im Ill. I keepking thinking why did the nail tech have to touch my finger? What if he had a open wound and I did'nt see it I become convinced that I have it. My damn crazy mind. I cant turn it off it's like a broken record repeating different scenarios over and over again.

[mscece]

The funny thing is I didn't start worrying about this stuff until last night. When the insurance guy said we had to take a test. Now Im plagued with this fear of impending doom.

[Fleet86]

Originally Posted by mscece

Thank you Margaret, so much for your kind words and reassurance. Sometimes I become so fearful I convince myself that Im Ill. I keepking thinking why did the nail tech have to touch my finger? What if he had a open wound and I did'nt see it I become convinced that I have it. My damn crazy mind. I cant turn it off it's like a broken record repeating different scenarios over and over again.

This is so horrible when it starts. With me it happens after a withdrawal drop and I have to deliberately slow my breathing and if at all possible, get right away from any stimulation. The thoughts seem so real I know. Probably nothing I could say would stop you having them. I had this once on a long journey and the whole time I "just knew" we were going to die in a crash. We didn't but the thoughts were just so vivid. I feel for you I really do.

I am starting CBT next week and hope they can help me to start dealing with this issue and the bleak depression episodes.

((((Hugs)))) for you. We can all identify with these thought patterns. Actually if you go and do search, under 'racing thought' someone posted a thread very similar to that and Homer, I believe typed out a CBT method for combating it. I will also look for this thread, it was very helpful.

Nicci x

[scotty]

Mescece...As a nurse of 24 years I have had my hands in more blood and body fluids than ANY normal person would, and this includes some needle sticks, years ago. Nope, no aids, no hepatitis, nothing.

It's not as easy to catch as most think. A "casual" contact has an EXTREMELY low risk.

[Fleet86]

Ah-ha! The thread is called "How do you stop racing thoughts?" started by katyajini 04/03/2007 in the General Discussion Forum.

There is a good CBT method of stopping them. I tried it and it's very good. Homerbcool posted it but the whole thread may ring true for you. I do hope so as no doubt about it these thoughts are horrible. But others have calmed them so we will too no doubt.

Take care,

Nicci x

[mscece]

Scotty, I was wondering when you would chime in. Thanks for the reassurance. I'll try not to stress out too much more about it.

[mscece]

Scotty, I was wondering when you would chime in. Thanks for the reassurance. I'll try not to stress out too much more about it.