Life after Paxil, but still depressed. What to do?

[deedee1]

Hi all,

I've been off of Paxil for some time now. As you can see from my journal I went through withdrawal, but that's all gone now. I really count it as one of the hardest things I've done but it gave me a great sense of accomplishment and the support here was incredible. Some of you don't even know how much you've helped me and inspired me to keep moving on.

That being said. The depression is coming back, as much as I try to hide it, and it seems worse. I sit here in tears because - I KNOW coming off of Paxil was a good thing, but now I have no motivation to do anything anymore, am failing school and am increasingly absent from work, have become a shut in and rarely talk to anyone. It's to the point where I feel like I just can't take it anymore. I'm only a college student and have a lot of opportunities and reasons to be happy, but I'm perpetually sad and cry for no reason.

And, it makes me want to get back on Paxil. Because I've become stagnant and a failure again.

I've been exercising steadily since coming off of Paxil and have lost weight. I'm not overweight and never was but I'm more in shape now. I eat better, but I still consume a lot of dairy (I'm lactose intolerant, too ). It feels like I've come to the end. The first place I thought of was here because I know it's full of supportive people.

I'm so desperate. Is there really no cure for depression? Supplements I can try? Anything? I really need someone's help. Nothing makes me happy anymore and I have no idea why I'm sad all the time. It's letting down everyone around me and I'm falling further and further behind.

Sorry if you read this novel. I would appreciate any sort of help that doesn't involve getting back onto Paxil, please.

Thank you. It means so much.
DD

[LCrawford67]

DD, I'm not sure what your tapering schedule was like, if you CT'd or what. But, depending on that, you may be experiencing w/d still.

Omega 3 fish oil is the absolute best thing you can take for you depression. There's been lots and lots written about it on this site, so just do a search.

The exercise and diet, combined with a good multi vitamin and good grade of fish oil will do you wonders.

[deedee1]

I looked at my journal and it turns out I've only been off Paxil for a month. I tapered down from 10 mg., maybe 2 mg. at a time. Whenever I stopped having withdrawals from going down one dose (when I felt stable), I would go down another dose. I don't have any WD symptoms anymore.

I will look into the fish oil. I am just so desperate for anything at this point in time. Thank you for your advice.

[LCrawford67]

Yep, classic w/d symptom. Your body and mind need time to heal and taking lots of vitamins and supplements will help you do just that. One month isn't long at all, it can take 3-18 months to completely heal, but don't let that discourage you. Just take one day at a time and always remember, this won't last and it's not YOU, it's the w/d from the drug.

[palm]

Hi DD,

<<<<Hugs>>>> first of all.

I am not an expert at all on the period after getting off the drugs since I won't be completely off mine for another 4-5 years. But from reading various posts, it seems that what you are experiencing is quite normal as the brain tries to get back to normal.

As far as supplements, I take fish oil capsules, glutathione and a multivitamin. I can't give specifics but if you want to PM me, I can give you more information.

You are not a failure.

As an FYI, when I lost a job offer, I was very depressed and had similar type feelings. I found that by typing them in MS Word every time I got down was very helpful. And I would do my best to counter a negative thought with a positive one. It helped greatly.

Initially, I really had to force myself to do it. But once I did, it got easier.

You will get through this.

Palm

Originally Posted by deedee1

Hi all,

I've been off of Paxil for some time now. As you can see from my journal I went through withdrawal, but that's all gone now. I really count it as one of the hardest things I've done but it gave me a great sense of accomplishment and the support here was incredible. Some of you don't even know how much you've helped me and inspired me to keep moving on.

That being said. The depression is coming back, as much as I try to hide it, and it seems worse. I sit here in tears because - I KNOW coming off of Paxil was a good thing, but now I have no motivation to do anything anymore, am failing school and am increasingly absent from work, have become a shut in and rarely talk to anyone. It's to the point where I feel like I just can't take it anymore. I'm only a college student and have a lot of opportunities and reasons to be happy, but I'm perpetually sad and cry for no reason.

And, it makes me want to get back on Paxil. Because I've become stagnant and a failure again.

I've been exercising steadily since coming off of Paxil and have lost weight. I'm not overweight and never was but I'm more in shape now. I eat better, but I still consume a lot of dairy (I'm lactose intolerant, too ). It feels like I've come to the end. The first place I thought of was here because I know it's full of supportive people.

I'm so desperate. Is there really no cure for depression? Supplements I can try? Anything? I really need someone's help. Nothing makes me happy anymore and I have no idea why I'm sad all the time. It's letting down everyone around me and I'm falling further and further behind.

Sorry if you read this novel. I would appreciate any sort of help that doesn't involve getting back onto Paxil, please.

Thank you. It means so much.
DD

[Johnnny off Paxil]

Ok I can say there are 2 things happening here..your on the bottom side of this Paxil related issue..so the depression is somehow chemical/hormonally related.
Or that you have not really touched upon the"emotional issues" that underly the depression. Having said that, we in our society are so extroverted that we don't see any "value" in depression and just want it to either go away or take a pill to make it go away. Sometimes depression is not a "chemical illness'...

Also issues with the thyroid gland and poor nutrition play a part in this. Do you consume lots of caffeine and alcohol..eat junk food, eat at fats food restaurants?

What about your diet..vitamins etc? Fish oil and acupuncture were an immense help to my friend who was suffering from severe depression.

Regards, Johnny

[deedee1]

Originally Posted by LCrawford67

Yep, classic w/d symptom. Your body and mind need time to heal and taking lots of vitamins and supplements will help you do just that. One month isn't long at all, it can take 3-18 months to completely heal, but don't let that discourage you. Just take one day at a time and always remember, this won't last and it's not YOU, it's the w/d from the drug.

Wow, I didn't even think of that withdrawal time. It does make me feel better that that could be a reason I'm feeling this way. I'm willing to go through as long as I have to to recover, at least the "brain zappies" are over with.

[deedee1]

Originally Posted by palm

Hi DD,

<<<<Hugs>>>> first of all.

I am not an expert at all on the period after getting off the drugs since I won't be completely off mine for another 4-5 years. But from reading various posts, it seems that what you are experiencing is quite normal as the brain tries to get back to normal.

As far as supplements, I take fish oil capsules, glutathione and a multivitamin. I can't give specifics but if you want to PM me, I can give you more information.

You are not a failure.

As an FYI, when I lost a job offer, I was very depressed and had similar type feelings. I found that by typing them in MS Word every time I got down was very helpful. And I would do my best to counter a negative thought with a positive one. It helped greatly.

Initially, I really had to force myself to do it. But once I did, it got easier.

You will get through this.

Palm

Thank you soo much palm. Great ideas. I pm'ed you.

[LCrawford67]

Good! See, just knowing what it is makes a world of difference! Part of the problem is people going through w/d, their idiot doctors telling them, "it's your original symptoms coming back" and getting sucked into taking more drugs.

Most doctors don't seem to get it that it takes time for the brain to heal and most patients don't realize that they're actually in w/d still.

[deedee1]

Originally Posted by Johnnny off Paxil

Ok I can say there are 2 things happening here..your on the bottom side of this Paxil related issue..so the depression is somehow chemical/hormonally related.
Or that you have not really touched upon the"emotional issues" that underly the depression. Having said that, we in our society are so extroverted that we don't see any "value" in depression and just want it to either go away or take a pill to make it go away. Sometimes depression is not a "chemical illness'...

Also issues with the thyroid gland and poor nutrition play a part in this. Do you consume lots of caffeine and alcohol..eat junk food, eat at fats food restaurants?

What about your diet..vitamins etc? Fish oil and acupuncture were an immense help to my friend who was suffering from severe depression.

Regards, Johnny

Hmm. I had my thyroid tested and it was normal. Poor nutrition is a definite possibility that I'm trying to change. Fast food, yup all the time sadly. I have "hormonal" migraines, once a month. Also once a month, I turn into a terror for a few days. :*(

I take a multivitamin that enhances concentration with gingko biloba (I have ADHD so I'm willing to try anything for that, too, thus the reason for this vitamin). And that's it.

I haven't tried acupuncture. I heard it's expensive. But that's another possibility. Thank you as well.

[ssri-research]

Hey Deedee... you are in w/d... if you read up on 'protracted withdrawal', you'll find even more information on what happens after actually stopping the drug. I'm on the same protocol that palm is on and recommend that you look into her suggestions...

Hang in there... it's not you, it's from taking the drug.... Ann Tracy writes a lot about how the hardest part of the taper can be after one is off completely ;-(.... supplementing should help you... it's helping me greatly.

[scotty]

Deedee, the common misconception is that withdrawal ends with weaning. That is only part one...part two is allowing your brain to heal from the onslaught that Paxil has caused. Yes, you are now depressed due to a chemical imbalance! Paxil caused it, and time will heal it.

[TryingtoGetWell]

Originally Posted by LCrawford67

Yep, classic w/d symptom. Your body and mind need time to heal and taking lots of vitamins and supplements will help you do just that. One month isn't long at all, it can take 3-18 months to completely heal, but don't let that discourage you. Just take one day at a time and always remember, this won't last and it's not YOU, it's the w/d from the drug.

I was going to say the same thing as Laurie C, after reading that you'd only been off a month. Everybody's symptoms and timeline of what they experience seem to be different, but I've noticed on a number of posts I've read here that, like me, some people seem to go through physical symptoms before the emotional ones hit.

That could very well be happening with you, and you have to remember that it's still withdrawal symptoms, not who you really are. Rebound (exacerbation of original symptoms) and new incidences of depression, anxiety, etc. are both known to happen after going off medications.

I didn't take paxil for depression, but went into severe clinical depression after going off -- not immediately, but after the brain zaps and whooshes and all that. Now those new conditions depression and depersonalization and such are starting to let up, thank god. I really thought they never would. But what people say about the brain needing to rebalance itself is true, I know that now. I'm still healing (after a MILLION YEARS on paxil!!!) but I can honestly say it does get better.

[Johnnny off Paxil]

Originally Posted by deedee1

Hmm. I had my thyroid tested and it was normal. Poor nutrition is a definite possibility that I'm trying to change. Fast food, yup all the time sadly. I have "hormonal" migraines, once a month. Also once a month, I turn into a terror for a few days. :*(

I take a multivitamin that enhances concentration with gingko biloba (I have ADHD so I'm willing to try anything for that, too, thus the reason for this vitamin). And that's it.

I haven't tried acupuncture. I heard it's expensive. But that's another possibility. Thank you as well.

The multivitamin is as good as buying candy

No..you need the real thing..real B complex..real magnesium citrate and calcium citrate..real fish oil and start eating healthy..where is your body going to find the resources to rebuild and heal..... think of yourself buying into getting healthy..making an investment in health.

I have an acupuncturist here that charges $40 US per session..pretty good isn't it?

Regards, Johnny