i gotta ask: why did you go off your AD?

[erin]

i am struggling with this question myself and it's something i don't have an answer for right now.

but as i read through a lot of the stuff on this forum, i see people struggling horribly with getting off these drugs. i also see that a lot of people were "better" on them. meaning, the symptoms (side effects) while on the medication seemed to be better than the hell that is withdrawal.

people complain about getting depressed, anxious, etc. but is that really a surprise? that's what those drugs are supposed to "treat".

i write all this as i sit in my 6th week of being celexa-free. if going off these meds is going to give me back all my problems (anxiety and depression) AND added problems like pain, dizziness, memory issues and the like, why AM i going off these meds? i still haven't made the decision as to whether i want to stay off them or go back on. i guess only time will tell.

i guess i'd like to know your answers. why did you go off anti-depressants? and, are you better now (being off) than you were on them?

please share your stories.

[Peggy]

I wonder this sometimes too.
My main reason for going off of Paxil is to help me lose weight.
I worry about the anxiety coming back again.

[erin]

Originally Posted by Peggy

I wonder this sometimes too.
My main reason for going off of Paxil is to help me lose weight.
I worry about the anxiety coming back again.

this was one of my reasons, too. i also wondered if i'd be less spaced out off meds. so far, not the case! i guess i thought maybe i'd be "clearer" off the meds and not as lethargic all the time. thanks for your input peggy!

others?

[zimm]

I want off these drugs because I am sick and tired of being overweight and still gaining, sick of the sweating, sick of the insomnia, ringing ears, inability to show or have any emotions - to name a few. I have been slowly weaning, which of course, brings on alot of other symptoms, but I have hope for No symptoms. I have been learning to cope with my anxiety and feel that a little anxiety is way better than all the above symptoms. I am so sorry I ever started taking this crap. I researched it and decided not to take it, but my doctor, whom I trusted, convinced me with his hogwash (you have a chemical imbalance). He didn't know any better then and neither did I.

[pmflaherty]

If you read around, you will soon learn that a lot of us didn't chose to get off. In my case, I was forced off because of a phenomenon becoming quite common, refered to as "poop out". Poop out is when a drug, for whatever reason, loses it's efficasy. It basically stops working or being effective on a person. We are finding out that people on Paxil and other SSRI's can only benefit from the drugs for a certain period of time, before becoming ill. The reason they become ill is that when the drug stops working, they are forced into withdrawal sickness because thier body still "craves"(for a lack of a better word) the drug and it's effects. The paradox of this situation is that the person most likely doesn't know what is happening to them, so they report what they are feeling like to thier doc, and thier doc thinks they need more of the drug. It becomes a viscious cycle where more and more is prescribed, while your body can't do anything with it anymore. Then you are on a lot of meds with no benefit. Some get caught in the cycle where they get put on a lot of other drugs, thus creating more and more mental problems and more and more drugs. So eventually, people HAVE to withdrawal, and then they get sicker during that process too.
Anyway, that is the shorter version.
So you see, it is basically becoming just a fact of these drugs that you only get a certain amount of help from them before they stop working and cause sickness. People are realizing the benefits don't outweigh those risks. The belief that you can be on these drugs forever is just a myth, based on no evidence.
The only real benefit I can ever see from Paxil or any other like drug, is going on them for a brief period of no more than a few months. Then you must use that window of clarity and relief from problems, to focus entirely on the transition you must make to a different lifestlye. Nutrition, Therapy, exercise, alternative natural treatments, and clearing your lifestlyle of things that may be external causes of depression. Simply popping the pills and going about your routine is a sure way to end up sick and confused in the end.

[erin]

Originally Posted by pmflaherty

Simply popping the pills and going about your routine is a sure way to end up sick and confused in the end.

this is what i did for years. took the pills, plowed through life. gained a few pounds, etc. gawd. what would have my 20s been like if i wasn't on the meds? it's not like my life has been crap or anything, but i would how i would have been if these drugs didn't exist.

[Homerbcool]

Same here..POOP OUT..that and the fact I did not want to feel nothing anymore..Paxhell stole all my emotions along with the anxiety...but mainly the fact I could no longer go a whole day without withdrawal symptoms coming into play...

Now, I plainly see that going on them in the first place was not the right thing to do..I should have gone to a more therapy enduced treatment plan.

[pmflaherty]

Originally Posted by erin

this is what i did for years. took the pills, plowed through life. gained a few pounds, etc. gawd. what would have my 20s been like if i wasn't on the meds? it's not like my life has been crap or anything, but i would how i would have been if these drugs didn't exist.

Just know that it is NOT your fault. The doctors and the drug companies are the ones to blame for thier irrisponsibility. I actually blame Docs more. Not one of them out there uses the drugs the way I describe, like in very short term windows. They will give you your drugs and just ask you how you are doing 2 weeks later. There is no treatment plan other than the drugs. They may suggest therapy (or may be the ones giving you therapy), but talk is cheap. They must be held accountable. They need to change how they do it, follow through, explain to you better that the drugs are not just little helpers that will inhance your mood, and never help you make a transition to better habbits.
My 20's are gone too. Just don't look back. Make that transition yourself now and do it slow and steady. If you don't break the cycle, you will get worse.

[LinLou]

I was on half of the lowest dose and my doctor told me that I could just stop taking it because it was non-therapeutic at that dose, and all it was doing was preventing me from losing 20 pounds. Clearly he was wrong. It was doing something for me...like keeping me from tumbling into the pit of withdrawal hell.

Surely since I was on such a low dose and doing fine, I probably never needed it in the first place. But since I took it for too long, my body had grown quite fond of it and didn't want to let it go. I waited too long to reinstate and fell into that category of people who get violently ill when they try going back on. Now THAT'S the part I'll never understand....why waiting too long to reinstate can backfire on you. That is the big mystery for me.

[erin]

in some ways, i'm mad that my doc would have kept me on these for years if i never did anything about it. she even raised an eye when i said (not asked, TOLD) i was going off. what's funny is that my worst times with anxiety and depression were when i was ON the meds.

[erin]

BUT, if off the meds i'm going to have all this WD crap AND anxiety AND depression, then why stay off them? if these are my choices:

* on meds: kinda spacey, fat, tired, complacent/happy, sluggish, no depression, no anxiety...
* off meds: spacey, in pain, dizzy, anxiety, depression, slightly less fat

i don't know, seems like being on meds might be better. at least in my mind. i guess i just have to wait out the withdrawal, but crap, if i have this for over a year, i don't think i'll want to stay off the meds.

[Johnnny off Paxil]

Very simple..I had a severe adverse reaction to it


I was prescribed 20mg of Paxil Cr for "low serotonin and anxiety attacks".. even at the start I had lots of side effects, tinnitus like crazy, diarrhea,chest pains, chest flutters, dry mouth..this went on for 8 weeks..then whaammo

I woke up at about midnight on a Sunday... I knew something wasn't right..my heart rate went from 60 to 120 in 5 seconds..then it hit me...it was like I was on 5 hits of LSD and had been drinking espresso coffee all day long..ad to that the insane perception that I was on this stuff, there was no way to get off of it ..like I was strapped to a roller coaster in the dead of night.
That very same night a well known teacher from the North Shore, drove up to the Second Narrows bridge, stopped his car and just jumped off the bridge..I thought to myself I know "exactly why " he did this.. he must have been on Paxil and the same thing happened to him..but he just couldn't handle it..the cops later said that they never before witnessed a suicide like that..normally people wait or hesitate..this man ..stopped and ran off the bridge...don't you just love Paxil

Oh my doctors response to this episode ..his words "Classic Panic attack" and "we're going to have to tame this beast!!"
On the insistence of the doc I was on this stuff for another week when the following Monday I started to have severe hallucinations..that was it..the love affair with Paxil was over..and I have been recovering ever since..it was a huge shock to my system.

I hope that answers your question.

Regards, Johnny

[rdjanis]

Originally Posted by erin

* on meds: kinda spacey, fat, tired, complacent/happy, sluggish, no depression, no anxiety...
* off meds: spacey, in pain, dizzy, anxiety, depression, slightly less fat

Off med symptoms are temporary, on med symptoms are life long....
Make a wise choice, don't let fear and frustration rule your decision.

[erin]

thanks for your input everyone. i like hearing the personal stories.

if only this information was made available to me when i went on them.

my friend casie, who's on celexa right now even asks me things like "why are you going off?". i guess it's something few people understand.

i always had side effects with the meds (though never suicidal), but they always seemed better than sheer panic and depression, although again, i had those, too, while on meds. i'd been stable for quite some time when i chose to go off.

[Casey1231]

Originally Posted by erin

BUT, if off the meds i'm going to have all this WD crap AND anxiety AND depression, then why stay off them? if these are my choices:

* on meds: kinda spacey, fat, tired, complacent/happy, sluggish, no depression, no anxiety...
* off meds: spacey, in pain, dizzy, anxiety, depression, slightly less fat

i don't know, seems like being on meds might be better. at least in my mind. i guess i just have to wait out the withdrawal, but crap, if i have this for over a year, i don't think i'll want to stay off the meds.

How about adding a third option to the above - being on meds, feeling anxiety, depression, burning skin, insomnia, dizziness, zaps, can't get off and can't go up, can't miss a dose or you feel like you'll die, etc. That is what happens when you have been on paxil for 12 years like me. At least know you know that many people have gotten off of meds, had a period of difficulty, and steadily improve. You also have to get involved in your own recovery, as far as therapy, exercise, vitamins, meditation, etc.

Please know I am not being sarcastic or judging you in this situation. It is a very painful reality and the choices are not easy, I know. I absolutely believed I would be on meds for life and the meds have stopped working and it sucks terribly. Maybe I will be able to get off completely, maybe I won't, but I will continue to try.

[erin]

hey, i'm not judging anyone'e decision to stay on or go off. just wondering why people make the choices they do. i'll make my decision by weighing my options after i've been off the drug for awhile. was i better on or off?

[pax80]

I never needed it... no depression, no anxiety, no nothing...only a bit dizziness and phobic from diazepam WD....

[scotia21]

I never should have been prescribed this crap in the first place. I fell for the "try this new pill" scheme. I casually mentioned to a doctor that I was going through a rough time (new babies, laid off from work, parents talking about divorcing, etc.). He handed me a coupon for a free sample and a prescription. The rest is history.

I didn't quit Paxil - Paxil quit me (and at the worst possible time I might add). I had planned on staying on this stuff forever until it pooped out - then I started doing some research and talking to people and realized that this stuff had really messed me up. There is no way that I am going back now. NO WAY !

[LinLou]

Erin,

I see you've been off since April 2007. That is way too early to expect to feel normal after coming off long term use. A HIGH number of people would have anxiety and depression at that stage of withdrawal.

Also, please be aware that waiting too long to reinstate, if you decide to do so, may backfire on you as it has done many people here. If you wait too long, you may have no choice but to endure withdrawal because taking the drug will no longer be an option. Many people have a window to reinstate, and after that ...when you take the drug you will become sicker than you've ever been and it will no longer help. Lots of people have this false sense of "Well I'll just go back on it later if I still can't cope". Then when they do, BAM! The drug has turned on them. It's almost as if your body now sees the drug as an enemy and wants no part of it. This doesn't happen every time, but it is a real possibility I wish I'd had known about...because it's exactly what happened to me.

Just want you to have this knowledge in the back of your mind to help you make decisions. If sticking this out doesn't seem like something you will be able to manage for possibly many months, you may want to consider going back on asap.....before it may be too late. If this happens, and SSRI's don't work for you anymore, then doctors are notorious for throwing the bi-polar diagnosis at you and pulling out antipsychotics to try to make you feel better ( which often still makes everything worse ).

[LinLou]

http://www.paxilprogress.org/forums/...ad.php?t=15540

Here's an old thread about waiting too long to reinstate.

[erin]

Originally Posted by IWGMLB

If this happens, and SSRI's don't work for you anymore, then doctors are notorious for throwing the bi-polar diagnosis at you and pulling out antipsychotics to try to make you feel better ( which often still makes everything worse ).

interesting as i've had my regular doc throw this at me before. since meds weren't working, she wondered if i was bi-polar. i've had two pysch evaluations and bi-polar has never been mentioned.

i guess when i go to the psychiatrist on friday, i'll ask him about some of this stuff. how should i know if i need to go back on and taper more slowly? i've tried to come off this drug before (and didn't make it - anger problems) and don't remember having problems going back on. i guess i see what the doc thinks.

[summer bee]

while ON paxil, i found that my anxiety was "cured" but a terrible apathy toward life crept up on me. i didn't care much about school, social activities, music, the future...everything that i had previously been passionate about had all gone down the drain. i flatlined, emotionally, and i just couldn't deal with that anymore. that's why i stopped, and i'm learning to deal with anxiety in completely different ways now (like, by actually developing coping mechanisms!) and my motivation has DEFINITELY returned. i am a human being again.

[erin]

Originally Posted by summer bee

while ON paxil, i found that my anxiety was "cured" but a terrible apathy toward life crept up on me. i didn't care much about school, social activities, music, the future...everything that i had previously been passionate about had all gone down the drain. i flatlined, emotionally, and i just couldn't deal with that anymore. that's why i stopped, and i'm learning to deal with anxiety in completely different ways now (like, by actually developing coping mechanisms!) and my motivation has DEFINITELY returned. i am a human being again.

it's good to hear something positive come out of getting off the meds. thanks for sharing.

[mapleleafgirl25]

I went back on knowing it would only be for short term..so i went off when it was time..after about a year..I would rather be off the drugs sooner than later...the least amount of time..to do damage to your body!!..

michele

[ssri-research]

Originally Posted by erin

i am struggling with this question myself and it's something i don't have an answer for right now.

but as i read through a lot of the stuff on this forum, i see people struggling horribly with getting off these drugs. i also see that a lot of people were "better" on them. meaning, the symptoms (side effects) while on the medication seemed to be better than the hell that is withdrawal.

people complain about getting depressed, anxious, etc. but is that really a surprise? that's what those drugs are supposed to "treat".

i write all this as i sit in my 6th week of being celexa-free. if going off these meds is going to give me back all my problems (anxiety and depression) AND added problems like pain, dizziness, memory issues and the like, why AM i going off these meds? i still haven't made the decision as to whether i want to stay off them or go back on. i guess only time will tell.

i guess i'd like to know your answers. why did you go off anti-depressants? and, are you better now (being off) than you were on them?

please share your stories.

have you eliminated the possiblity of an underlying medical condition? i ask because a 'depression' will, in most cases, self-correct in 6 months... much less time than 'a lifetime' on meds...

I know there is controversy regarding the following but...

Blood Tests for Underlying Issues Causing Depression & Mood Disorders
http://gdx.net/home/assessments/finddisease/depression

these tests do exist....

My issue was Lyme disease... that's cleared now but the AD's aren't, many years later...