Sorry - one more plea for prayers

[Fleet86]

Hello I wonder if I could ask for your prayers once more please, as I am really panicking again.

I am so scared. Although my doctor has declared me unfit for work due to depression and other side-effects of the Seroxat stopping working for me - 'poop out' - the Social Security Doctors can call you in to examine you. They kind of double-check that you are as bad as the doctor says you are, which I totally understand. They do it to everyone on sick benefit but they can overturn your own doctors decision if they want to.

So I have been called to attend a medical examination at 3.00 pm tomorrow in York. David is taking me as I get bad dizziness at the moment and get very faint and panicky. I wondered if some of you might be kind enough to pray for me - just that the correct decision be made, whatever that may be?

I also suffer from Dystonia in my neck and with the clonazapam I have never once been unable to work in the 11 years I have been diagnosed, even though it makes me tired. It's just this awful Seroxat poop-out and attempted withdrawals that has me beaten. My doctor gives me hope and the CBT has now started. We hoped to get me back to some part-time no pressure voluntary work to prepare my for real work and rebuild my confidence. I am frantic for a little more time before I have to face the stress of finding paid work again. I worked all my life before this episode, I don't want you to think this is a way of life for me. I find it very humiliating but it seems my only chance to get better.

Thank you for your prayers, if you feel able.

Love from nicci x

[Kat]

Hi Nicci
There is no reason to feel ashamed at all. I have been disabled for 13 yrs due to severe fibromyalgia. If anything you should pat yourself on the back for being strong enough to take on all that life has thrown at you.

When getting my disability I was turned down 2xs & had to get a lawyer.
I was also examined by not only an MD but 2 psych's.
B/c I look fine on the outside since the pain is on the inside & I can't make my joints fail on command, everytime I had to be examined I overemphasized my pain & problems, it was the only way to get the docs to understand how bad I can be since I never saw them when I was at my worst.

I'm sure your anxiety will be high just going into the exam - roll w/it, that will help them see what you are going through.
Get detailed when it comes to your pain & emotional instability.
Make sure you use descriptive words that really stress your problems & drive the point home. Severe, debilitating, extreme, etc. You get the idea.
I wish you all the luck in the world!!

After your examine - treat yourself - do something to help yourself relax, something you enjoy - even if it's just a nice meal out.

Take care!
Kat

[markgerard]

You are in my prayers Nicci - every day. I'm scared too - you are not alone and we will get through this.

God Bless and I wish you all the best.
Mark

[Buxy`s Back]

Nicci hoping all goes well for ya hun,when are they gonna accept that damage from drugs does cause incapacity ffs

[ash]

Hey Nicci,

There is no need to be ashamed. Will say a prayer for you.
You just look after yourself

Love
Ash

[Fleet86]

Thanks Kat, Mark and Jo. I really do appreciate your support - I know this is a battle that so many of us face. Sometimes it feels very lonely because I think with the best will in the world, only someone who has taken Seroxat really knows how awful the stuff can be and how out of character it can make you feel and think.

Kat I will certainly think about how I feel and make sure I get the reality of it across to him, as best I can. Who knows, maybe if they start seeing enough of us the message will get through.

Thanks again.


nicci x

[Fleet86]

Thanks Ash. I do pray about events like this but when I get really nervous the worry gets the better of me. It's such a comfort to know that others are praying for you or holding you in their thoughts.

Thanks again,

nicci x

[isabelly]

Nicci, you wil be in my prayers tonight and tomorrow, good luck.
Don't you dare be ashamed, you have always worked and you need some time out now.I to cannot work, so know how you feel, I too want to try for incapacity Benifit, due to M.E and the terrible withrawal, I know that its really scary .I have been trying to get the courage to fill in forms,Please keep us posted on how it goes
Best Wishes and everything crossed for you X lou

[Delynbetter]

Prayers sent.

[Fleet86]

Thank you so much Isabelly and Delyn. Somehow when you know others are praying it makes you feel stronger. I become so fearful that I feel my prayers aren't even getting off the ground, silly I suppose but that's how it feels.

Isabelly, I know that those forms are so scary. I will definately keep you posted as to how they react to the Seroxat problem. I do think though, that your having M.E. would entitle you to Incapacity Benefit on that basis alone. Citizens Advice could point you in the right direction and they are nice and friendly. But I will post on this thread how I get on with this assessment. I can't help but think that they would be alot more sympathetic and helpful about a physical problem like M.E. I do hope so.

nicci x

[Buxy`s Back]

Nicci i have been fighting to get incapacity for a year now,i am still in appeals,as i dont fit thier criteria they say i am not ill,coz i am not on drugs i do not fit ect ect,i have written a lengthy letter to them expalining that i am suffering seroxat withdrawal and that i am sure i wont be the first or the last to be incapacitated by it,i really dont think they are listening though,but hey i fight on lol

[Scott]

don't feel bad for getting assistance.. i'm on disability also. Though i was rejected for regular benefits which would have been twice as much because noone understood me and my doctor wouldn't help me. They had to send a psychologist to the house because i was housebound. He had no clue what i described. The main reason i was declined (i think they just look for ways to decline) is that i had no record in my medical history prior to the cutoff date of 2004 when i was in the height of hell. I went to my md asking him to verify all the symptoms i was now describing as to how i felt then.. he wouldn't do it and told me to get a lawyer. So i just settled for the regular disability. Very frustrating having something others can't see, a disability in every way but not validated in any way. But we don't suffer alone.. God sees what everyone else doesn't see and all things are determined by Him. We're tested heavily but He will provide and is faithful at all times.

[Fleet86]

Jo, I'm sorry, it's seems such an inflexible system. Well they are going to be seeing alot more Seroxat cases from now on, I'm sure of it. I'm only here because Seroxat 'poop-out' has caused me huge depression amongst other problems and I have taken it for 7 years. There must be so many other poor souls who took it for a few months and then were told they had to keep taking it and this is the time it seems to just stop working and all the problems appear. I hope you win your appeal, hopefully the Seroxat stuff will start to be recognized.

nicci x

[Fleet86]

Originally Posted by Scott

don't feel bad for getting assistance.. i'm on disability also. Though i was rejected for regular benefits which would have been twice as much because noone understood me and my doctor wouldn't help me. They had to send a psychologist to the house because i was housebound. He had no clue what i described. The main reason i was declined (i think they just look for ways to decline) is that i had no record in my medical history prior to the cutoff date of 2004 when i was in the height of hell. I went to my md asking him to verify all the symptoms i was now describing as to how i felt then.. he wouldn't do it and told me to get a lawyer. So i just settled for the regular disability. Very frustrating having something others can't see, a disability in every way but not validated in any way. But we don't suffer alone.. God sees what everyone else doesn't see and all things are determined by Him. We're tested heavily but He will provide and is faithful at all times.

Oh Scott, that's it. They just don't have a clue do they? Surely sometime soon they will start to get the message but for now it's people like Jo and you and me who are battling to explain it to them. And just when we least need to have this added stress. It is a disability just as valid as any other but like you say, because it's new to them they disregard it.

I am going to copy out the phrase that 'He will provide and is faithful at all times' and take it with me. It's a real comfort to me, thank you.

nicci x

[Fleet86]

Goodnight everyone and thanks again for your kind words and prayers. I better try to have an early night before the big day.

Love nicci x

[LCrawford67]

Nicci, sorry I missed this earlier. But, there's nothing for you to feel ashamed about and you're definitely in my prayers.

Please, let us know how it goes tomorrow.

[mstimc]

Nicci--
Paryers and support from across the pond!

[Wee T]

Prayers sent to you. Keep strong.

[Iksfreundin]

Prayed for you earlier, but didn't tell you! However, I'm thinking of you.

[Fleet86]

Thank you so much everyone, I am so grateful for your prayers. If they decided I was no longer eligible and need to go look for work right now my doctor thinks I will need 30mg Seroxat but he agrees that is not solving the problem. He is still supporting my need to get off the drug.

Thank you once again. I will let you know how it goes - here I go

Love from nicci x

[Cayte]

Oh Nicci..I've only just got this. I am sorry I've not been able to come on site for a few days.
I am thinking of you...try to relax about it or you will make yourself worse.
It is so unfair...it makes me furious.
Those of us who are lucky enough to cope with work ..I suspect fear every minute of their working day....trying to appear calm and in control to colleagues.
Please let me/us know how you get on. xx

[eileen]

God Bless you Nicci. I'm just seeing this morning. I pray all will go well for you to-day. Please don't feel ashamed, we all know what this drug can do to us.
eileen

[Fleet86]

Hello to everyone,

I have just returned from my Medical Examination re the disability payment. I just needed to send a GREAT BIG THANK YOU to each one of you for praying for me and sending messages to cheer me on. I really appreciated it so much and it made a big difference.

I found it a very tough day and a tough medical but thanks to all your support I managed to find the courage to go in and answer the doctor's questions as accurately as I could. At the end of the medical she told me that there was nothing in her report for me to worry about and I would hear in about 2 months. So I am hopeful that she has agreed with my doctor about my being unfit for work at the moment even if she wasn't totally convinced that Seroxat was causing my problems, she said it wasn't provable but at least she agreed that I was experiencing major problems. I suspect she thought I had gone inexplicably a bit mad.

I am so very tired now that I will just curl up and go to sleep. But this meant so much to me and my journey off the Seroxat (which seems possible again) and I wanted to let you know as soon as I got in. I need to see it in writing of course but her indications seemed to be positive. Thanks again, you are all wonderful people. I don't know where I would be without you, I really don't ......

Love from nicci x

[Cayte]

Glad to hear you are back Nicci..XXX

[markgerard]

I'm glad everything worked out for you Nicci - all the best.
God Bless, Mark