6 months paxil-free update

[moedaddy]

Hi,
Yesterday was my 6month anniversary of being paxil-free. I just wanted to share with you of what I've been through, and to thank all of you who answer to my posts with great advice.

Weaning:
It wasn't as bad as it was during the first 2-months of being paxil-free. I had the once in a while nausea and bowel problems, tingling, burning, panic attacks throughout the day, and sweating while taking the drug and during weaning. The symptoms were scary, especially when doctors didnt' have an answer for it, but they only happened once in a while. I didn't know about withdrawal until I got to 5mg every other day. I was feeling miserable and the doctor said I could just stop then so I was paxil-free on Dec 12th, '06.
Paxil-free:
At the third day, I felt like s***. This lasted only for about a week and then I was fine for the next 2 weeks.

Week 3 of being paxil free:
Daily morning restlessness came, then daily nausea, anxiety, panic, depresion, bowel problems, fatigue, 'out of it' feelings, lack of concentration...I couldn't eat, I couldn't move much, couldn't think, I couldn't work, I couldn't function. I became a semi-bed ridden zombie for the first 2 months.

Month 3 and 4:
Symptoms gradually decreased in intensity. I had ok days, not so good days, and worst days. Most of my days were in the not-so-good category, but at least I could eat some, I could walk some, I could function a little. Here the depression/hopelessness worsened though. It was here where I experience some ok windows and got some relief.

Month 5 and 6:
I was very thankful to have gotten some windows, because months 5 and 6 were rough. It started just like the beginning, with restlessness. Then came the nausea, anxiety, depression, panic, bowel problems, and a sunburn sensation. The lack of concentration/memory and fatigue got a little better, but not much. Although the nausea and bowel problems were as intense, the anxiety was not as bad, the burning and tingling turned into 'sunburn', and I only had 3 panic attacks. In summary, I got all the w/d symptoms back, just not as intense and I also had PP and some coping skills I had learned before, which helped a lot.

Lately:
I feel as if I have gone over the bump, or at least getting out of it. I am exhausted from what just happened; and symptoms still come up once in a while (not as bad though). I have my bad moments, physically and mentally, but I do feel better than how I felt before the bump. It did get better.

So far the experience has tested my patience to the max. I am learning a lot about myself, although I still have those insecurities and questions that w/d brings us. I'll bother you with those later though : )

[Amaya's Nana]

Moedaddy - Congratulations on being Paxil free for six months! That's AWESOME and thanks for posting the update. It continues to confound me how doctors refuse to believe that withdrawal happens when our symptoms are so incredibly identical. Relish the good windows!! They will keep coming and lasting longer and longer.

[Katesmom]

You got over that 5-6 month hump--hooray!!!! That is a massive benchmark. Enjoy feeling good! You will likely still have a couple of waves, but the good continues to hang around longer and get better as you go. Savor it!

[scotty]

Congratulations Moe!! This is absolutely a milestone.

[Johnnny off Paxil]

Originally Posted by moedaddy

Hi,
Yesterday was my 6month anniversary of being paxil-free. I just wanted to share with you of what I've been through, and to thank all of you who answer to my posts with great advice.

Weaning:
It wasn't as bad as it was during the first 2-months of being paxil-free. I had the once in a while nausea and bowel problems, tingling, burning, panic attacks throughout the day, and sweating while taking the drug and during weaning. The symptoms were scary, especially when doctors didnt' have an answer for it, but they only happened once in a while. I didn't know about withdrawal until I got to 5mg every other day. I was feeling miserable and the doctor said I could just stop then so I was paxil-free on Dec 12th, '06.
Paxil-free:
At the third day, I felt like s***. This lasted only for about a week and then I was fine for the next 2 weeks.

Week 3 of being paxil free:
Daily morning restlessness came, then daily nausea, anxiety, panic, depresion, bowel problems, fatigue, 'out of it' feelings, lack of concentration...I couldn't eat, I couldn't move much, couldn't think, I couldn't work, I couldn't function. I became a semi-bed ridden zombie for the first 2 months.

Month 3 and 4:
Symptoms gradually decreased in intensity. I had ok days, not so good days, and worst days. Most of my days were in the not-so-good category, but at least I could eat some, I could walk some, I could function a little. Here the depression/hopelessness worsened though. It was here where I experience some ok windows and got some relief.

Month 5 and 6:
I was very thankful to have gotten some windows, because months 5 and 6 were rough. It started just like the beginning, with restlessness. Then came the nausea, anxiety, depression, panic, bowel problems, and a sunburn sensation. The lack of concentration/memory and fatigue got a little better, but not much. Although the nausea and bowel problems were as intense, the anxiety was not as bad, the burning and tingling turned into 'sunburn', and I only had 3 panic attacks. In summary, I got all the w/d symptoms back, just not as intense and I also had PP and some coping skills I had learned before, which helped a lot.

Lately:
I feel as if I have gone over the bump, or at least getting out of it. I am exhausted from what just happened; and symptoms still come up once in a while (not as bad though). I have my bad moments, physically and mentally, but I do feel better than how I felt before the bump. It did get better.

So far the experience has tested my patience to the max. I am learning a lot about myself, although I still have those insecurities and questions that w/d brings us. I'll bother you with those later though : )

Yup that about sums it up..if its any consolation..the good windows actually DO happen...... those months were definitely the worst for me....
I have also found that the regular acupuncture and applied Chinese herbal medicine are finally starting to show their effects....
You hang in there.. things do improve..though there are times I tell you...I would rant about the stupid doctors


Regards, Johnny

[diana.p]

Congratulations !!! I am in my first month post Paxil and it's so hard... Be proud of yourself.

[darcyb]

Moe, that was incredible post to read. You're so aware of the progress to the point of having gratuity, I think you're going to endure and innovate your way through this like a champ!

So far the experience has tested my patience to the max. I am learning a lot about myself, although I still have those insecurities and questions that w/d brings us. I'll bother you with those later though : )

Statements like these are the marks of courage. When a person takes a horrible experience and USES it for more than it seems it's for on the surface, humility encourages a bow from those who notice. Progress is not about getting through things simply and comfortably, although that always helps. It's mostly about, "OK, I fell. Gettin' back up now. Hey look at my butt print! Awesome!"

*takes a deep bow*

You humble me Moe. Well done.

[darcyb]

Originally Posted by diana.p

Congratulations !!! I am in my first month post Paxil and it's so hard... Be proud of yourself.

And be proud of you! It's not easy!

Can I also say today that it's perfect to fall? Perfect to feel weak? Perfect to have days where you don't want to progress and just want to take a pill and wallow? These are all parts of defining boundaries around who we're trying to be so that the mind can understand it. The soul is so big and powerful, the brain can't fathom it. So when the soul clears its throat, the little puny physical self has to bounce around a bit to know where it is NOW, and then decide where it wants to go NEXT while trying to reflect the greatness it already knows it is. It's hard to know where you're about to go, if you haven't taken the time to stand still, look around, take a breath, and not progress for a moment.

Don't be afraid to be weak. Don't so proud of being strong. Just be in your here, in your now, and look around. No pain can take that ability from you. It can make it distracting and harder to focus though! LOL!

Congrats Diana. 1 month is HUGE and absolutely TINY compared to what you'll achieve next. *big hug*