4 months off zoloft - early morning panic

[zfree]

Hi everyone. I weaned off Zoloft about four months ago (did a six week wean from being on 50 mg. for five years). I realize it was a quick wean but I have been seeing a therapist and getting support from my friends and family. I am taking it day by day. What scared me today, however, was that I had a symptom which I have not had since before I went on Zoloft. That is the early-morning awakening with extreme thoughts of panic, and regret. I remember having this for almost my whole adult life, and it is one thing that got under control with the Zoloft. It is very disconcerting and scary to me. This is something I do not know how to handle. It's like I awoke from a dream and was immediately bombarded with thoughts from the past and obsessive-type regrets about decisions I have made in the past. A feeling that I have made terrible choices in my life and that it is too late to change anything.

In truth, I have a pretty decent life with a kind and supportive husband, and two great kids, and a career/job I love. There are things about my life that I would like to change (my weight for one, which has been on an upward spiral since starting the Zoloft), but overall life is good. It could be a lot worse. So how do I deal with this early morning panic/regret? Also, I am NOT a morning person, so mornings are my weakest (emotionally speaking) time of the day. I feel very vulnerable. Any advice out there on what to do if and when this morning panic hits again?

The other thing I have noticed lately is that I compare myself a lot to other people. Again, this was something under control with the Zoloft, because I guess I didn't care so much what others were doing or how they are living. Now I notice everything, and I always come up short in all areas. Kind of like I'm on the outside looking in - and what I'm looking at is everyone else's wonderful, fulfilling life where things just seem to work out for the best, and life goes smoothly. While I am hanging onto the edge of a cliff by my fingernails (sorry for the extreme example but that's how it feels a lot of the time!).

Thank you - I appreciate everyone's input. It means a lot to have a site where people are so willing to help out a fellow person withdrawing from SSRIs.

[Johnnny off Paxil]

Originally Posted by zfree

Hi everyone. I weaned off Zoloft about four months ago (did a six week wean from being on 50 mg. for five years). I realize it was a quick wean but I have been seeing a therapist and getting support from my friends and family. I am taking it day by day. What scared me today, however, was that I had a symptom which I have not had since before I went on Zoloft. That is the early-morning awakening with extreme thoughts of panic, and regret. I remember having this for almost my whole adult life, and it is one thing that got under control with the Zoloft. It is very disconcerting and scary to me. This is something I do not know how to handle. It's like I awoke from a dream and was immediately bombarded with thoughts from the past and obsessive-type regrets about decisions I have made in the past. A feeling that I have made terrible choices in my life and that it is too late to change anything.

In truth, I have a pretty decent life with a kind and supportive husband, and two great kids, and a career/job I love. There are things about my life that I would like to change (my weight for one, which has been on an upward spiral since starting the Zoloft), but overall life is good. It could be a lot worse. So how do I deal with this early morning panic/regret? Also, I am NOT a morning person, so mornings are my weakest (emotionally speaking) time of the day. I feel very vulnerable. Any advice out there on what to do if and when this morning panic hits again?

The other thing I have noticed lately is that I compare myself a lot to other people. Again, this was something under control with the Zoloft, because I guess I didn't care so much what others were doing or how they are living. Now I notice everything, and I always come up short in all areas. Kind of like I'm on the outside looking in - and what I'm looking at is everyone else's wonderful, fulfilling life where things just seem to work out for the best, and life goes smoothly. While I am hanging onto the edge of a cliff by my fingernails (sorry for the extreme example but that's how it feels a lot of the time!).

Thank you - I appreciate everyone's input. It means a lot to have a site where people are so willing to help out a fellow person withdrawing from SSRIs.

Well its sounds like your your own worst enemy...your too hard on yourself.

Looking ahead, looking aside, looking behind and "measuring" yourself in regards to others all comes from low self esteem and fear.


Morning anxiety is a very common feature of withdrawal..... the withdrawal symptoms are strongest in the morning and slowly abate as the day wears on and then sometimes returns in the evening.
You'll notice that there is no "smooth transition"..its sudden and abrupt..and sometimes is onset by eating.

The best thing of course is to exercise when you can..this helps the body re-adjust and ups the serotonin balance.

Weight gains is also a very common feature of taking SSRI's... you will have to wait until the stress of this whole thing is over and done with..then you'll probably notice the pounds come off.
Be kind to yourself and patient..unfortunately SSRI withdrawal can sometimes be a long drawn out affair.

Regards, Johnny

[texgirl]

Originally Posted by zfree

The other thing I have noticed lately is that I compare myself a lot to other people. . . Now I notice everything, and I always come up short in all areas.

Well, Zfree, I don't know how to tell you to make this stop, but I can tell you that it's very common. I know I was envious reading about your supportive husband, kids, and job you love! I wish I had even one of those things. (Okay, maybe not the kids. Or at least only occasionally. ) Not to make light of your struggles and fears. They're very real, I know. The fast wean may have had something to do with it. Friends, family, and a good therapist can help smooth w/d, but they can't prevent the neurological chaos your brain and body have gone and are going through. Hang in there. I hope that the passage of time will bring you some relief.

[zfree]

Johnny, you are so right. I have always had extremely high expectations of myself, and that's what is happening right now. I guess I need to chill out a little and take life as it comes. And I do really need to exercise too. I hope that will help with the depression and anxiety and panic a little, at least. Not to mention the extra poundage. The treadmill is what I prefer, so I can watch TV while exercising. First step is to get the treadmill serviced, and then I can start. Actually that's an excuse. I suppose I could start walking in my neighborhood until then.

Thanks for your comments, texgirl. I have been married 13 years but I certainly remember the times before then when I was hoping to find a good guy (and times when that seemed impossible)...so I understand what you're saying! And married life has its challenges too. Good luck in finding the right man and job (and maybe a kid or two eventually!). Were you also on Zoloft?