Fiance Not Enough Support?

[deadlyskull1977]

I have tried to explain everything about anxiety/panic attacks and how bad things can get with it ,and also how paxil can make you feel. I have printed out things on the Internet even showed her this forum and signed her up to it and gave her a name and everything, does she post? no read? one time and thats the time that I asked her to. What I'm trying to say is when i'm really down or having problems or it's a bad argument between me and her I don't think she takes it into account that this is a severe problem and I need the support. Is it me or should she be tring more to understand where i'm comming from? I have been out of a job now for 4 months and i am on unemployment have been looking my best but i just can't get one. No calls back no nothing. I have been sending in my resume to lots of places. It's getting rough over here and sorry to take your time to read this I just want to know what to do here.


Dave

[LCrawford67]

Dave, are you taking Paxil twice a day? If so, why? Also, your tapering amounts are too much. You should only be tapering 10% at a time.

It's hard for anyone to understand what this is like, unless they've been through it. My husband has only read here a couple of times, but he's VERY supportive and very supportive of this forum. I'm very blessed. However, we read stories, like yours, all the time.

Between the w/d and the unemployment, I'm sure things are stressed. All you can do, is do the best you can. I don't know what your situation is, but maybe she is doing the best she can and feels you're asking too much of her now. Maybe she feels you could be trying harder too.

You should have a long talk with her and get all of this on the table. Tell her your feelings and let her tell you hers. Be open and honest, but not mean.

[anjopom]

I too have tried to explain to my husbandwhat this c*** does to us, and I get no support whatsoever. He works 7 days a week - maybe to get away from it - i dont know, but i feel so very alone.

Why is it so hard for others to realise how we feel and what we are going through? maybe you have to experience it.

I have even passed out from the anxiety and muddled heads, dont know if thats normal, but thats what happened.

I just rely on pp - its so good to know all you are out there, were not alone really, were all here for each other.
Who would know better than us, we live this excuse of a life 24 - 7.

My husband even suggested I get a job - some hope, how inconsiderate.

PP hugs to you

ANJOPOM
HUGS NOT DRUGS

[Katesmom]

I also want to know what is with the twice a day dosing. The half life of this med is 21-23 hours, so twice daily dosing sets up a rollercoaster effect.

[Johnnny off Paxil]

The dosing as everyone points out here is part of the problem

Secondly, it is very difficult if not impossible to get someone else to understand the horrible effects of withdrawal.
So I wouldn't even try, its nice to get support..yes..understanding...yes

My Mom is the same way, she took SSRI's for about 4 months and nothing happened..at least she thinks nothing happened..when I pointed out certain things were due to withdrawal she went ballistic. Her conclusion is , your blood family..you have the same genes..so therefor you cannot possibly be experiencing withdrawal or anything you say..its all a lie and I don't want to hear about it.

Just the other day I sent her an article about the incidence of adverse reactions etc..she didn't even bother to respond.
Now I either learn my lesson and realize that this person will never 'acknowledge' what I am going through and is completely closed minded and that if I don't want to suffer..to stop and desist.
I do know people who do understand and we have Paxil Progress here..so... thats enough.
Lastly, we have this weird notion that "because they are family" some sort of magic happens and suddenly they are exempt from being prejudicial or closed minded...but the sad fact is "family" can be the worst place to look for sympathy and compassion..some family members have a "vested interest" in keeping the status quo, the worst forms of indifference and oppression can come for inside the family unit.
Also its important to look at ourselves in this and how much we "short change ourselves " in the process.. when a healing crisis arises like this, its a wake up call to become our own , doctor,nurse and best friend..its easier, far easier to place that burden on someone else and far more difficult to take up the challenge of healing.

Regards, Johnny

[anjopom]

How right you are, but if the boot were on the other foot, I know without a shadow of a doubt I would be researching and trying my best to be understanding, patient and thoughtful of others feelings.

ANJOPOM
HUGS NOT DRUGS

[Johnnny off Paxil]

Correct...but then again thats like expecting people to be spiritual..the fact is most people are NOT spiritual and its unreasonable to "expect" that from others.

The human condition usually works like water...along the line of least resistance...


Regards, Johnny

[anjopom]

Best not to expect then, and we wont be disappointed.
I always believe in, treat others as you would like to be treated yourself, but then, we didnt ask for any of this, and did nothing to deserve it, maybe we all needed to learn a lesson in life, what I dont know.

ANJOPOM
HUGS NOT DRUGS

[cmeffa]

Yeah. I understand what you are going through. I went through the horrror of withdrawal pretty much alone. Lost everything along the way. At least you have the support of this website. When I went through the worst of it I had know idea what to do. All I had to go on was a hunch that going off paxil did something to me. Later on on I found this site ( back then at the time I did'nt have much access to internet and I still beat myself up over the fact that I did'nt find a way to look it up earlier in the game).Try your best to communicate your situation and go from there. Also consider your self lucky that you have the tools to deal with withdrawal at it's worst. I wish that I had found this site years back. Best regards, cmeffa

[Songbird]

I don't think we can expect understanding from anyone who hasn't been there themselves, but I think it is reasonable to expect support and caring from those who love and care about us.

My husband doesn't understand at all, I think he's never had a mental health problem his entire life, and in the beginning he wasn't very supportive, but he has improved a lot and is now quite supportive, I guess because he really cares about me (but also I think because he doesn't like me being overweight!).

It is difficult, you can only try your best to communicate your feelings, as cmeffa says, but you cannot change another person. You could try asking her to talk to you, explain how she is feeling about it all.

[MeganK]

I wish you luck, Dave. This is a good place for support. I find that sometimes my boyfriend is understanding and other times he isn't.

[Charlie]

Dave, Welcome to PP! I’m not 100% sure that twice a day is necessarily bad but I am curious about a couple of things. Have you always taken Paxil twice a day? If not, what dose were you on when you decided to go to twice a day and how did you get there?

One thing you need to remember is the manufacturers have spent billions of dollars convincing people these drugs are safe and getting off of them is no big deal. That said she should in my opinion be asking questions at the very least to help her understand.

This may come as quite a shock to some but there are people that have never gone through Paxil withdrawal that have a very realistic idea what people go through getting off this crap.

[MeganK]

People who have dealt with other withdrawals seem to be more understanding. For example my boyfriend has dealt with his brother's withdrawal from meth. So he seems to be more understanding about it. I wish you luck. You'll find much support here.

[deadlyskull1977]

First I would like to thank you all for your support and comments. I have not taken paxil the whole time 2 times a day. When i was going thru my worst time I was switched on medications very quickly and I didn't know you needed to taper. During that time my dr prescribed me prozac and then zoloft . Then went back to paxil and the dr told me to try paxil cr. well that gave me crazy headaches and since that most of the time my anexiety is late at night she said to split the dose so it's more constant in my system. That was what paxil cr is supposed to do right? I have read in the forum that you can get liquid paxil but it is quite expensive and i can't afford to taper off that way so i have to cut my pills and the smallest i can get them to is about 2.5mg approx. Mabe I am expecting too much from my fiance in a way but in another it's a true test before we really get married or at least mabe I think? Hope to hear back from you all.

Happy Halloween Everyone

Thanks again,

Dave

[tragicspacepixie]

Originally Posted by Songbird

I don't think we can expect understanding from anyone who hasn't been there themselves, but I think it is reasonable to expect support and caring from those who love and care about us.

my husband totally was kinda standoffish for a while after the whole paxil endeavor started. i had a really bad reaction to paxil to begin with, so basically i had like... all the withdrawal symptoms the whole time i was taking it and of course, for a while after i stopped taking it. i was sick all the time. and it took him a little while to understand the severity of the situation, i think he thought originally that was i was being overdramatic (there were two weeks where i couldn't even get out of bed), but he did some research and we talked and now he's the most positive thing in my life, the light that's pulling me out of the darkness, if you will. he coulodn't possibly be more supportive, and i think he's helping me get through this because i know he'll be there to take care of me no matter what. you just need to keep trying to talk to your fiance, because if you can't get through this, think about how the rest of your life is going to be with her, you know? life is full of wonderful things and horrible, terrible, tragic things and you need to be there with someone who is completely and totally ready and prepared to be burned by the flames right there by your side. everything happens for a reason, maybe this is just a test. listen to your heart. it's cheesy, but seriously, listen to your heart