Sexual dysfuncion: pls help me :(

[Paxhell]

Hi. I am new here, i have been going through these posts for days and i have seen you are so caring people here, it's amazing. Maybe you can help me. I am suffering from sexual dysfunction for 2 months now. Lets start at the beginning.
I am 25 now, male, I was put on seroxat/paxil 20 mg when i was only 15 years old, because i had OCD, pretty bad, so all my sexual life I have been on Paxil and never had any problems, very sexually active and no sides. Then in 2006 i decided 9 years on the drug was enough, so i quit, very slowly, did it many months, and I was fine: minor withdrawl, dizziness, upset stomach, mood swings, but all went away, and my sexlife was fine. Then in 2007, 4 months after the last pill I suddenly had the worts OCD I have ever had in my life, I thought I had HIV from a zero-risk exposure. I was 100% I was going to die and I got so depressed I couldn't go to work or function in life, I was like this for a while so i started paxil again, 20 mg, I got better slowly, stopped obsessing that I was going to die. But before I got better I had started drinking heavily, even after I started paxil again, i was always drunk, taking tafil so I could sleep and taking Codein (paracode) to feel better and for my now severe headaches caused by stress and aniety. I did this for some months, than i started feeling better and quit all the nonesense. I was fine, but with time I noticed my sex drive was not what it used to be, nothing serious though.

Then one day I couldn't get an eraction, so I panicked. I quit paxil again in hopes I would get "hornyer" I didn't quit cold turkey but it was only 2.5 months from 20mg, to 10, to 5 to nothing. First when I started tapering down the drug I got hornier" (hope it ok to say that) and was able to ejecuale alot sooner, i was so happy, but got back to normal again which was ok, and then all of a sudden I had NO interest in sex, that is no sex drive and problems getting an erection. I am lucky if I can get it up now when I masterbate. I had some other withrawl, a bit more severe than before, dizziness, extreme mood swings and horrible dreams, cry episodes and cronic diarriah. Now its been 2 months off paxil, very little dizziness and mood swings now, but NO sex drive. I have started to believe since I was put on it so young and been on it for so long, i should never had panicked about a single Erection problem and quit the drug, I am seriously starting to wonder if I should start again?

My doctor now, who hates paxil, and never gives any of his patiens this drug says my problem isn't 100% the drugs fault, although he is familiour with poat SSRI sexual dysfunction. He says I have developed OCD over this problem and that is likely the cause of my not being able to get an erection. The question is, could he be right? he says, evil as the drug is, can't be blamed for every thing. He gave me Cialis which is supposed to work like viagra, but it doesnt work at all and every time I am in a sexual situation, I start hearing my heart beat so fast that the "other party" can notice it. I now dread sex. I am so afraid that I wont get it up, and what do you know, I can't get it up. It's better when I masterbate, alot better, but not like it used to be, and I should note, I still get a "morning-boner". And yes, I have a premature ejaculation problem too, sometimes I ejeculate before I can get fully erect..

I should also tell you that I did try to have sex a few times and failed getting it hard, than i met my ex, who i trust with this problem and feel a little safer with, and my erections are better than, mayeb hinting at psycholocical problem. I just wish I hadn't started obsessing abou this, I can't get it out of my head. I saw this horrible video on youtube where a guy told us after quitting SSRI he has to inject himself in the penis with a drug, before he can have sex now. I wish I never saw this video, it made me so affraid.

I think about this problem every day, ALL day, it's the first thing I think about when I wake up and the last thing I think about when I go to slepp, and all night I dream about haveing "bad" sex and no erection. I can't handle this any more, I am starting to want to die. The last months I have masterbated almost every day, just to try to see if it works, see if I can, not cause I want to, see if Cialis makes a difference. no wonder I'm never in the mood for sex, i have no energy left. But I fear, if I dont use it, I'll lose it, so to speak.

I came here to this forum to see if any of you very nice people can help me. Obvioulsy I want to hear some success stories, I need them, but only if they are true of course. I am losing my mind. What do you think the promblem is? Why didn't it happen before when I quit paxil last year? was it because i wasn't worrying about it? Did my alchohol abuse ruin me? why doesnt Cialis work?And the big question, will I ever recover? and how long will it take? I beg you to help me.

And sorry for the long post, I wanted you to know all the details.
Thanks alot

[Ladd]

Hmm, I wish I would be able to post an answer to your problem. I too have had massive labido demoralization over the course of being on Paxil. When I first started taking Paxil I was aware of the "possibility" that there could be sexual complications, but I tried to keep my head on a swivel and say that couldn't happen to me, but sadly I was mistaken.

The labido problem may not be as much of a problem to me as it is for others presumably because I am a virgin, and I've decided to remain that way until I find that "special" one, but I am aware of the frustrations of non-vaginal intercourse, and when the frustration hits, it hits hard. Although, I'm currently only 20 years old and have only had one girlfriend, which I'm still with today(About 3 yrs, 9 months) I can see this being a very difficult struggle for those who engage in several sexual encounters. From the words of Futurama, "The mind is willing, but the flesh is spongy and bruised!", except the spongy and bruised part is replaced with the inability to perform.

All is not lost though, even though it may feel like it is impossible due to many unsuccessful encounters, I'm sure that there is a way out of this situation for you and that you may acquire that which you desire. You'll have to just not give up, and I know that is almost hypocritical of me to say due to my lessened amount of experience in this situation, but mind over matter; The body does not control the mind, the mind controls the body. I'm sure you will find your answer.

Best of luck,
Ladd

[LCrawford67]

Welcome, Pax!

Sadly, this is one of the most common side effects of Paxil. Your doctor is right, it's a wretched drug and is most certainly the cause of your obsession over this problem now.

Are you thinking about tapering off Paxil?

[Paxhell]

Originally Posted by LCrawford67

Welcome, Pax!

Sadly, this is one of the most common side effects of Paxil. Your doctor is right, it's a wretched drug and is most certainly the cause of your obsession over this problem now.

Are you thinking about tapering off Paxil?

I'm off it, 2 months since i took the last pill, after tapering foe 2.5 months only, the problem only came after I started tapering, I was better on the drug.

[leo79]

I'm starting to worry about this now. Does everyone recover from PSSD? I have no libido right now, although I suppose sex would not be on my mind when I feel like I am dying a lot of the time.

[LCrawford67]

Well, you're tapering schedule was way too fast, from the sound of it and you're in withdrawal.

Just know, this isn't you, it's the drug and this WON'T last forever. But, time and patience are the key here. Have you been to therapy regarding this?

[Paxhell]

Originally Posted by LCrawford67

Well, you're tapering schedule was way too fast, from the sound of it and you're in withdrawal.

Just know, this isn't you, it's the drug and this WON'T last forever. But, time and patience are the key here. Have you been to therapy regarding this?

no i havent,

[LCrawford67]

I think that would be very good for you for many reasons. One, you'll learn how to cope with your OCD, two, once you learn that, you'll overcome what you're experiencing right now.

As you can see, Paxil only masked your original problem, it didn't cure anything. And now, you have another problem because of the Paxil, which is exacerbating your OCD. It's a vicious cycle.

[scotty]

Welcome to paxilprogress! And yes you can talk about pretty much anything here, as you've found out.
The sexual dysfunction that Paxil causes it two fold. First it effects one physically, then that starts the whole fear process, even after your off the drug, that things will never be the same.
This is SO true with all aspects of paxil side effects.
The good news...you're off Paxil. The slightly bad news...this is going to take time to level off physically. More important is going to be finding a good therapist to help you overcome the psychological damage to your sex drive that is caused by all of this.
Like we tell everyone who comes here...Paxil didn't "cure" anything. If you had obssesive tendencies, then they are still there waiting to be dealt with, albiet with the wonderful paxil side effects on top of it.
YOU CAN RECOVER FROM THIS!!! But your going to have to be patient, explore yourself with help, and learn everything you can.

[rubbyducky]

Hey,

I think you have a combination of problems on your hands.

Yes, its true that SSRIs can cause sexual problems. Specifically, reduced sensitivity or oversensitivity, though it seems to be a crapshoot as to who gets what.

But the fact that your body is otherwise "responding" in the mornings and during the night suggests that the equipment is fairly intact and that this is a psychological issue, which can stem from:1. your overwhelming OCD/anxiety, 2. your unfamiliarity with sexual contact outside the context of SSRIs 3. now, overall insecurity about sex.

As you have identified, these all seem to be possible contributing factors and I think that they are all a piece of the pie. I agree that you should see a therapist, if you haven't already.

Also, I don't know if you are much of a reader, but I just starting reading a great book that, in part, addresses OCD and how to effectively overcome it. You might want to check it out: "The Mind & The Brain : Neuroplasticity and the Power of Mental Force". Its by a very progressive doctor, Jeffrey M. Schwartz, MD. You can google his name and find a synopsis of his "four step" approach online, and see if its something you might be interested in.

[Songbird]

I think there are two problems that can be caused by SSRIs - one is libido problems, the other is problems with actual physical arousal and ability to climax. I believe these are very common problems with both SSRI use and withdrawal. It is possible that physical problems brought on psychological problems, so your problems might have a combination cause.

I don't really have any answers about this, but the other suggestions about therapy for the obsessive thoughts and useful self-help books sound good.

I've also read that ginkgo biloba can sometimes help with PSSD, I have not tried this, but it might be worth a try, as long as you have no medical conditions that would preclude it. You would not use ginkgo at the same time as Cialis or Viagra, though.

Also, it's early days, so don't start believing that your problems are permanent. Time seems to be the best healer when it comes to SSRIs.

[Paxhell]

Originally Posted by Songbird

I think there are two problems that can be caused by SSRIs - one is libido problems, the other is problems with actual physical arousal and ability to climax. I believe these are very common problems with both SSRI use and withdrawal. It is possible that physical problems brought on psychological problems, so your problems might have a combination cause.

I don't really have any answers about this, but the other suggestions about therapy for the obsessive thoughts and useful self-help books sound good.

I've also read that ginkgo biloba can sometimes help with PSSD, I have not tried this, but it might be worth a try, as long as you have no medical conditions that would preclude it. You would not use ginkgo at the same time as Cialis or Viagra, though.

Also, it's early days, so don't start believing that your problems are permanent. Time seems to be the best healer when it comes to SSRIs.

Thank you all for being so nice, it helps, it really does. I am going to make an oppointment with a therapist. One thing though, I did use Cialis and Ginko together, does that ruin things?? any One? Thanks again

[Songbird]

Originally Posted by Paxhell

One thing though, I did use Cialis and Ginko together, does that ruin things??

I'm no expert on this stuff, but I shouldn't think so.

[Paxhell]

Originally Posted by Songbird

I'm no expert on this stuff, but I shouldn't think so.

But if I take them together, do they interfere with each other some how?

[Songbird]

I just thought you might need to be careful about combining them since they both work by increasing blood flow, but I could be wrong, like I said I'm no expert, just someone very interested in learning more about herbs!

Anyway, I've just googled around and found one site that mentioned gingko can increase the effect of viagra, so it seems they would not interfere with each other. The main drug interactions mentioned on the sites I found were with blood thinners, some BP medications especially diuretics, NSAIDs, MAOIs, anti-convulsants and trazodone. Although on one site there was one warning about a possible interaction with SSRIs, but little info on this, and another site recommended ginkgo to reduce the side effects of SSRIs. I didn't find any information about its use with Cialis.

I think it is likely to be pretty safe if you stick to recommended doses.

[Paxhell]

Originally Posted by Songbird

I just thought you might need to be careful about combining them since they both work by increasing blood flow, but I could be wrong, like I said I'm no expert, just someone very interested in learning more about herbs!

Anyway, I've just googled around and found one site that mentioned gingko can increase the effect of viagra, so it seems they would not interfere with each other. The main drug interactions mentioned on the sites I found were with blood thinners, some BP medications especially diuretics, NSAIDs, MAOIs, anti-convulsants and trazodone. Although on one site there was one warning about a possible interaction with SSRIs, but little info on this, and another site recommended ginkgo to reduce the side effects of SSRIs. I didn't find any information about its use with Cialis.

I think it is likely to be pretty safe if you stick to recommended doses.

But since Cialis didn't work well, could Viagra still work? don't they do the same??

[scotty]

Originally Posted by Paxhell

But since Cialis didn't work well, could Viagra still work? don't they do the same??

Cialis and Viagra only work when there are vascular/smooth muscle problems. The will not correct nerve interruption or psychological causes.

[Songbird]

Thanks, Scotty! I had just read a couple of places about ginkgo being used to help with sexual dysfunction from SSRIs, have not tried it myself, but I thought it might be worth a try. As well as the therapy and time.

[LossLeader]

OK, I was the poster boy for multiple-symptom PSSD, and to some extent I still am. FINALLY I'm seeing some progress, although things aren't right yet. Here's what I think:

As others have said, the fact that things still "work" by themselves means that nothing is broken, so there's the potential for everything to get better. Unfortunately, it might take a while. SSRIs and withdrawal do directly affect your physical ability, but believe me, your mind is making it a LOT worse - the psychological chaos of withdrawal does create a kind of OCD type effect, where certain things worm their way into your head and can't be dismissed, and this kind of thinking is the kiss of death for sexual function. People who have never touched an SSRI in their life, but worry obsessively about this stuff, have the same issues. So, you've got a combination of neurotransmitter/hormone problems from the Paxil, AND a psychological block, increased anxiety etc. This is why things are such a mess right now.

The physical issues will ease with time, by themselves. It might take a few months, might take a couple of years, there's no way of knowing - but it will happen. What you have to do is make sure the psychological fixation doesn't take over your life. Any kind of anxiety about performance, etc, is a problem now. If you can defeat the anxiety, you will see progress faster. I didn't, so I had to wait two years before I saw any improvement. Others did (perhaps because they weren't as sexually-minded as me!), and saw improvement a lot sooner.

Cialis and Viagra DO WORK, but they can be stopped from working by anxiety, because they're not magic bullets that give you an automatic erection - all they do is force your body into a state where it's ABLE to produce an erection. If you took a load of Viagra and then sat down to watch a Disney movie by yourself, nothing would happen, right? You'd just feel a bit flushed and light headed. You need to be in a position where you're sexually excited and - if there was nothing wrong with you at all - you would be getting an erection. That feeling of your heart quickening (in a good way), breath shortening, eyes dilating, stomach turning over... these things, coupled with your sexual thoughts, send messages around your body to start doing the business downstairs. If you're not in the mood because you're too anxious, and you're staring blankly ahead in panic rather than getting into a funky groove (lol) then Cialis / Viagra won't work. You need to get your head straight before... OK I won't use that comparison because it's kind of obscene, but you know what I'm getting at

But those drugs WILL counteract the stuff that's a direct physical result of the SSRI withdrawal. I know this because, towards the end of me being on Zoloft / Lustral / Sertraline, I developed erection problems and took Viagra a few times (before deciding that I just had to get off the SSRI, which had stopped working anyway), and had no problems. This is because on SSRIs I was kind of hypersexual and very capable, so I still felt confident and relaxed about sex - the Viagra blocked off the SSRI-induced dysfunction, and everything worked fine. Of course, the first time I tried it in withdrawal, it didn't work so well. This is because by then I was a nervous wreck who felt like he would never have sex properly ever again. Connection made there!

Premature ejaculation is a tough one. There's no pill for it, and I think in withdrawal it's more a result of messed-up neurotransmitters than anxiety (going on my own experience), so I'm afraid you're just going to have to wait a while on that one. Mine is only now starting to improve, but other people have seen improvement much faster than I have. Even though it's not caused by anxiety, it can CERTAINLY be made worse by anxiety - and another thing to bear in mind is that any man who doesn't have sex for months will probably finish too fast when he finally does it again, so if you're not getting sex for ages, don't expect to last too long the first time you try it again. The good news is that for some people, Viagra can help reduce premature ejaculation too. For some people it doesn't, but even then it makes it MUCH easier to go again shortly afterwards, so you can have a second (or even third) go and last longer that time. If you get to a stage where an anti-ED drug like that is working for you, premature ejaculation will be less of a problem. By the way, I've not tried Cialis so I don't know about that specifically.

The main thing to remember is that SSRI withdrawal DOES NOT make you permanently sexually useless. But it can certainly make you feel that way. Like everything else, recovery from this happens gradually, and the best thing you can do is put yourself into the most relaxed mental state possible and try not to worry about it. There might be pain (mental pain, that is) along the way, but nothing is "broken". You just have a physical issue and a mental issue that are working together, against you. If you can isolate them so that they can't work together, then their ability to mess you up is significantly reduced.

Through a combination of Viagra and feeling more relaxed, I recently had sex "properly" for the first time in a looooong time. It was nowhere near perfect, nowhere near what I used to do on (or before) SSRIs, but it was acceptable. It was progress. It will happen for you too, but you need to give it time and you need to find a way to improve your overall confidence. Not easy in withdrawal, but it can be done. Therapy to break that OCD-type block might be useful - spending a lot of time with a woman and getting relaxed about it, knowing that she won't laugh at you or whatever, that helps too. Don't expect miracles immediately, just accept that things will gradually improve. And don't make the mistake of watching porno movies to increase your desire, they'll just make you feel inadequate! You have to get to a point where this isn't a source of fear or shame.

Your sex drive might be lower in withdrawal too - this can't be helped, it will fluctuate, and while some days you might feel like your old self, other days you might feel dead from the waist down. Just deal with it... take a day off. Sooner or later, you will feel ready for it again, because this is a very primal thing and as soon as your mind and body are in anything other than a crisis state, nature will take over!

Hope this is some help. I was a complete monster before withdrawal, very very sexually-oriented, and PSSD has been devastating for me. I'm not out of the woods yet, but I'm finally starting to see some sort of improvement, and for the first time I'm thinking I can get through this. If you learn from my mistakes - don't panic, in other words - you can get through this faster than I did.

[Esperance]

Good luck with the therapy, I think you're on the right track. It's kind of like stage fright, the more you think about it, the worse it gets. Just to be sure, have you had a good checkup since this started? There are other physical problems that can cause a drop in sex drive. Could be you need some zinc in your diet.
Take care.

[leo79]

Nice one LL. I'm a long way away from getting it on with any girls though right now as my emotional state is such a mess and I don't want to screw around with that too much.

[Paxhell]

Originally Posted by leo79

Nice one LL. I'm a long way away from getting it on with any girls though right now as my emotional state is such a mess and I don't want to screw around with that too much.

So basically, no one here get's any better??

[LossLeader]

Yeah that's the thing, Leo - almost no one in a messed up emotional state can function properly sexually. I'm pretty sure that if I hadn't been such a state emotionally for the last two years I'd be getting better faster.

[LossLeader]

Originally Posted by Paxhell

So basically, no one here get's any better??

Yeah they do, but it takes a while.

[Paxhell]

Originally Posted by LossLeader

Yeah they do, but it takes a while.

i am just so scared, people keep saying its been many, many years and maybe some improvement??? Thta's tough