Positive update after long taper

wendywoo · 12-15-2007, 04:52 PM

Hello to all familiar and new PP members. Although I don't visit as often as I did, I often check in and read up on how people are doing.
I hope my story can be a positive message for anyone who is either struggling with a long taper or is despondent about the length of time that's suggested to taper off. It really is the best advice, and I got so much support on many dark days of my very long taper.
I finished my seroxat hell at the end of August 2007 having started the taper in July 2005. The last few days were really hard, and there was a weird and scary feeling of saying goodbye to something that was familiar and known, as well as the fear of physically how I would react.
My taper was extremely protracted since I found any drop in dosage horrific. Some drops I found easier than others but I was always affected physically with horrible symptoms and mentally by deep depressions and crippling anxiety. Liquid seroxat was the only way I could ever have come off, and my drops were literally sometimes just that - one drop of the liquid. I had to say to myself that time was NOT the concern, it was the finality of dealing with this drug. I know for many of you the journey seems so so long and so unmanageble but please please just think of each day, and congratulate yourself on each step (even it was one drop, I would tell myself it was one drop closer to my goal) Each time I stuttered I came here and posted. This time last year I was in a terrible depression and got so much support here. I will always be grateful to each and every one of you who took time to reply to my posts.

The good news is, that I am fine (said hesitantly in case of jinxing). I have waited to come back and update because I was afraid I would hit a wall and fall down but (touch wood) I have had ups and downs but nothing horrendous.
Strangely within a few weeks of coming off, I was signed off work with stress for 3 weeks - though I had worked throughout my WD. I did think I was cracking up but I had a lot of work pressure and I came through okay. My Dr (bless him) accepted my "NO DRUGS" mantra and he did "talking" which helped and accupuncture which calmed me. I returned to work okay and the situation causing the stress resolved.
Physically I feel so much better : I have lost some weight (a dress size) I look better not so "puffy" , I feel mostly normal, my memory is better, I am suffering less with the aches and pains. Some things are not better but I have to accept that a lot of these things were there pre-seroxat - sleep problems, anxiety (fear of illness/death), low level depression ... these things I tell myself are part of me, and I have to deal with them myself...
I thought this time would never come. To all of you who are some way along the journey, believe me when I say I thought I might be on this drug forever. The fear and terror of coming off was massive. The symtoms I have had are horrendous. If i can do it, any of you can do it. I know I am lucky to have no long lasting WD effects (I hope!). I feel for all of you who still suffer after finishing the drugs. I believe the advice I got here which I followed in taking a very slow taper is a factor in my recovery. The support and knowledge I was not alone was the one overriding factor which helped me through. This board is fantastic.
My seroxat days (7 years +) seem like a daze, a dream, an unreal time of suffering. I don't believe I have come out unscathed. I do believe the worst is behind me. I will continue to be part of the board but feel that for now I have to just look after me for a while and get my life back together properly. (My work problems started with trying to fight battles on behalf of others and the Dr helped me to see at the moment I should just look after me) I will always check back in and watch how you are all doing and also hope that the public knowledge of these terrible legal drugs will increase and spread.
My very best wishes to all of you and please take strength in the fact that like me one day the last drop of this poison will pass your lips - you will be free !
Sincere thanks again to all my friends here whose words helped me carry on.
Wendy

nicemom · 12-15-2007, 05:16 PM

That is so wonderful to hear Wendy!!! Congratulations and thank you for posting such a positive message. I'm sure it was not easy~~~but I hope you are really proud of yourself!!!!!

LCrawford67 · 12-15-2007, 05:17 PM

Wendy, what a wonderful post!!! Thank you so much for the update and I couldn't be happier for you!

scotty · 12-15-2007, 05:26 PM

Wendy that is AWESOME!! I'm so glad you posted!!

leo79 · 12-15-2007, 06:05 PM

Thanks for posting this Wendy. I look forward to the day that I can write something like this.

Sher66 · 12-15-2007, 06:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by leo79

Thanks for posting this Wendy. I look forward to the day that I can write something like this.

Same here.

babs · 12-15-2007, 07:07 PM

Thanks for posting such a positive message, Wendy. It is so encouraging for others to read of your progress. I can relate to a lot of what you wrote; my withdrawal is long over but I still have to deal with what brought me to the drug in the first place. It's a slow journey but far preferable to being numbed. I'm glad to hear you are doing so well.

Songbird · 12-16-2007, 07:35 PM

That is great to hear, thanks for the update, I find it very encouraging.

Dawn B. · 12-16-2007, 07:56 PM

Thank you for posting your story! Very encouraging!
God bless you!

Katesmom · 12-16-2007, 08:15 PM

Thank you SO much for taking the time to write this!

since95 · 12-16-2007, 08:20 PM

Thank you so much for the post. Every positive post of completing w/d keeps me positive during this stressful time.

Cookie · 12-17-2007, 07:09 AM

Thanks for the update Wendy, I'm soo pleased for you !!
I'm right there with you, been completely off for two months and feel better than I have done in years !!!!!!!

Chrysalis · 12-17-2007, 07:36 AM

Wonderfully encouraging! I hope all the newbs who are just starting out and feeling scared will read this!

wendywoo · 12-17-2007, 10:55 AM

To all of you who have taken the time to reply to my post, thank you. It's so lovely to hear from "old friends" and newbies too. I really didn't want to sound smug, I wanted to give encouragement to those of you who are still going through the long journey of WD. I'm glad I have been able to do that. As I have said, if I can do it, anyone can. I don't underestimate either the experience for some of protracted WD ; I can't imagine how I would have been able to cope with that, and I admire all of you in that situation for carrying on.
I wish all of you well in your recovery and will continue to pop back and post, and see how all of you are.

12-15-2007, 04:52 PM	#1
wendywoo Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: England Posts: 108	Positive update after long taper Hello to all familiar and new PP members. Although I don't visit as often as I did, I often check in and read up on how people are doing. I hope my story can be a positive message for anyone who is either struggling with a long taper or is despondent about the length of time that's suggested to taper off. It really is the best advice, and I got so much support on many dark days of my very long taper. I finished my seroxat hell at the end of August 2007 having started the taper in July 2005. The last few days were really hard, and there was a weird and scary feeling of saying goodbye to something that was familiar and known, as well as the fear of physically how I would react. My taper was extremely protracted since I found any drop in dosage horrific. Some drops I found easier than others but I was always affected physically with horrible symptoms and mentally by deep depressions and crippling anxiety. Liquid seroxat was the only way I could ever have come off, and my drops were literally sometimes just that - one drop of the liquid. I had to say to myself that time was NOT the concern, it was the finality of dealing with this drug. I know for many of you the journey seems so so long and so unmanageble but please please just think of each day, and congratulate yourself on each step (even it was one drop, I would tell myself it was one drop closer to my goal) Each time I stuttered I came here and posted. This time last year I was in a terrible depression and got so much support here. I will always be grateful to each and every one of you who took time to reply to my posts. The good news is, that I am fine (said hesitantly in case of jinxing). I have waited to come back and update because I was afraid I would hit a wall and fall down but (touch wood) I have had ups and downs but nothing horrendous. Strangely within a few weeks of coming off, I was signed off work with stress for 3 weeks - though I had worked throughout my WD. I did think I was cracking up but I had a lot of work pressure and I came through okay. My Dr (bless him) accepted my "NO DRUGS" mantra and he did "talking" which helped and accupuncture which calmed me. I returned to work okay and the situation causing the stress resolved. Physically I feel so much better : I have lost some weight (a dress size) I look better not so "puffy" , I feel mostly normal, my memory is better, I am suffering less with the aches and pains. Some things are not better but I have to accept that a lot of these things were there pre-seroxat - sleep problems, anxiety (fear of illness/death), low level depression ... these things I tell myself are part of me, and I have to deal with them myself... I thought this time would never come. To all of you who are some way along the journey, believe me when I say I thought I might be on this drug forever. The fear and terror of coming off was massive. The symtoms I have had are horrendous. If i can do it, any of you can do it. I know I am lucky to have no long lasting WD effects (I hope!). I feel for all of you who still suffer after finishing the drugs. I believe the advice I got here which I followed in taking a very slow taper is a factor in my recovery. The support and knowledge I was not alone was the one overriding factor which helped me through. This board is fantastic. My seroxat days (7 years +) seem like a daze, a dream, an unreal time of suffering. I don't believe I have come out unscathed. I do believe the worst is behind me. I will continue to be part of the board but feel that for now I have to just look after me for a while and get my life back together properly. (My work problems started with trying to fight battles on behalf of others and the Dr helped me to see at the moment I should just look after me) I will always check back in and watch how you are all doing and also hope that the public knowledge of these terrible legal drugs will increase and spread. My very best wishes to all of you and please take strength in the fact that like me one day the last drop of this poison will pass your lips - you will be free ! Sincere thanks again to all my friends here whose words helped me carry on. Wendy __________________ SEROXAT 20mg since 1999/2000 during marriage breakdown. Started taper July 2005 from 20mg. Very slow taper on liquid seroxat. Last dose 26 August 2007. Now seroxat free!

12-15-2007, 05:16 PM	#2
nicemom Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: NE Ohio Posts: 3,181	Re: Positive update after long taper That is so wonderful to hear Wendy!!! Congratulations and thank you for posting such a positive message. I'm sure it was not easy~~~but I hope you are really proud of yourself!!!!! __________________ Diane On Paxil for 5+ years Weaned from 40mg to 15 over a 1 1/2 year period. From 15mg-0 May/June 06 (before finding PP) Protracted w/d from c/t. First 10 mths up and down but tolerable. Akathesia hit at 11 months. Many months of terrible mental and physical torture. 3/09 started Prozac but too stimulating. Currently on 15mg Lexapro and feeling so much better. Not all who waunder are lost.

12-15-2007, 05:17 PM	#3
LCrawford67 Moderator "Everybody poops" Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Ohio Posts: 34,483	Re: Positive update after long taper Wendy, what a wonderful post!!! Thank you so much for the update and I couldn't be happier for you! __________________ aka LC aka Laurie C. Paxil, 20 mg since 1997, for IBS Two unsuccessful attempts to quit. Started tapering 11/27/06 PAXIL FREE 12/29/07 Today is the best day, EVER!

12-15-2007, 05:26 PM	#4
scotty Administrator Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: new jersey Posts: 46,945	Re: Positive update after long taper Wendy that is AWESOME!! I'm so glad you posted!! __________________ AKA Laurie "Faith is taking the first step even when you don't see the whole staircase." MLK

12-15-2007, 06:05 PM	#5
leo79 Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: UK Posts: 1,442	Re: Positive update after long taper Thanks for posting this Wendy. I look forward to the day that I can write something like this. __________________ Poisoned by SSRIs.

12-15-2007, 07:07 PM	#7
babs "dare to suck big!" Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: San Diego, CA Posts: 7,542	Re: Positive update after long taper Thanks for posting such a positive message, Wendy. It is so encouraging for others to read of your progress. I can relate to a lot of what you wrote; my withdrawal is long over but I still have to deal with what brought me to the drug in the first place. It's a slow journey but far preferable to being numbed. I'm glad to hear you are doing so well. __________________ Babs Paxil 20mg 1994-2005 2 failed attempts to quit Tapered Jan-April 2005 Paxil-free since May 1, 2005

12-16-2007, 07:35 PM	#8
Songbird Queen of the appendage vocabulary Join Date: May 2007 Location: New Zealand Posts: 11,316	Re: Positive update after long taper That is great to hear, thanks for the update, I find it very encouraging. __________________ Jul 01-Feb 02 Aropax Feb-Dec 03 Citalopram Jul 04 Aropax Jan 07-Feb 08 20mg > 5mg Apr 4.5mg 5mg Jun 10mg Jul 20mg Oct Loxamine Dec 17.5mg 15mg 2009 24 Jan 12.5mg 16 Feb 10mg 10 May 9mg 30 May 8mg 5 July 7.5mg 2 Aug 7.25mg 1 Sep 7mg 9 Oct 6.75mg 8 Nov 6.5mg 18 Dec 6.3mg 2010 30 Aug 6.15mg 28 Nov 6 mg 2011 20 Feb 5.9mg 11 Apr 5.8mg 29 May 5.7mg 24 Jun 5.6mg 17 Sep 5.5mg 2 Nov 5.4mg 26 Dec 5.3mg 2012 19 Feb 5.2mg 14 Oct 5.1mg 6 Dec 5mg 25 Jan 4.9mg

12-16-2007, 07:56 PM	#9
Dawn B. Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Ramona, CA. Posts: 1,351	Re: Positive update after long taper Thank you for posting your story! Very encouraging! God bless you! __________________ Mt 19:26 'With God, all things are possible' Started Paxil 2000 for post partem anxiety Happily on it until it pooped out 2/07 Started cutting down way too fast 7/07 from 20 mg. to 10 mg. and got very sick. Found PP, went back to 13 mg. Waited and waited and never stablized. Began slow wean, down to 7 mg. over a year. Never felt well. Trashed the paxil at 7 mg. in Aug. '08.

12-16-2007, 08:15 PM	#10
Katesmom Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: Texas Posts: 13,810	Re: Positive update after long taper Thank you SO much for taking the time to write this! __________________ Katesmom aka Kim started Paxil Oct. 2003 for PIH Paxil free since 19 Jul 2005 ". . .the cruelest lies are often told without a word. . .the kindest truths are often spoken, never heard." -- Ben Folds

12-16-2007, 08:20 PM	#11
since95 Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: Canada Posts: 496	Re: Positive update after long taper Thank you so much for the post. Every positive post of completing w/d keeps me positive during this stressful time. __________________ Since95 aka Dan -On Paxil for 15-1/2 years. Completed 2-1/2 year taper from 40mgs Paxil - 0. Med free August 24, 2009!

12-17-2007, 07:09 AM	#12
Cookie Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Middlesex, England Posts: 143	Re: Positive update after long taper Thanks for the update Wendy, I'm soo pleased for you !! I'm right there with you, been completely off for two months and feel better than I have done in years !!!!!!!

12-17-2007, 07:36 AM	#13
Chrysalis Join Date: May 2006 Posts: 2,057	Re: Positive update after long taper Wonderfully encouraging! I hope all the newbs who are just starting out and feeling scared will read this! __________________ 6/97 Paxil 20 mg daily 1/06 -5/06 20 mg to 10, then 10 mg to 5 (NOT recommended!) 8/5/06 switched to liquid Paxil, 5 mg Slow taper with last dose on 8/18/07 Toprol XL 25 mg daily for cardiac arrhythmia Trazodone, 25 mg, tapered, last dose on 12/12/07 Tart cherry, Magnesium Citrate, Salmon oil, Glucosamine and MSM, Multivitamin w/iron Zinc (23 mg) & Echinacea lozenge - 1 daily Activia yogurt

12-17-2007, 10:55 AM	#14
wendywoo Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: England Posts: 108	Re: Positive update after long taper To all of you who have taken the time to reply to my post, thank you. It's so lovely to hear from "old friends" and newbies too. I really didn't want to sound smug, I wanted to give encouragement to those of you who are still going through the long journey of WD. I'm glad I have been able to do that. As I have said, if I can do it, anyone can. I don't underestimate either the experience for some of protracted WD ; I can't imagine how I would have been able to cope with that, and I admire all of you in that situation for carrying on. I wish all of you well in your recovery and will continue to pop back and post, and see how all of you are. __________________ SEROXAT 20mg since 1999/2000 during marriage breakdown. Started taper July 2005 from 20mg. Very slow taper on liquid seroxat. Last dose 26 August 2007. Now seroxat free!

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