Almost a year off, having some trouble lately :/

[ihatezaps]

Hi all. It has been almost one year since my last tiny dose of Paxil after a long weaning period. Overall, I think my withdrawal was relatively easy and this year has been great. I feel so awake and alive. I accomplished a lot of things that I would have never done on Paxil.

The past couple of weeks have been a bit difficult though. I feel myself slipping into bouts of anxiety and depression. I've been having "episodes" of hypochondria, where I drive myself crazy thinking for hours I have rare diseases and Googling them. I KNOW this is not healthy behavior and it's just feeding my anxiety but it's hard to stop myself. I also feel very lonely and I miss my family.

I am having trouble concentrating and I feel like I'm losing my mind sometimes. Today I forgot my debit card pin number! The same number I've used at least once a day for the past 3 years! My mild ADD (which I believe with all my heart is due to 8 years on Paxil) has gotten worse in the past few months.

I am in a new relationship with a wonderful man and I cannot enjoy it because I'm feeling so insecure about his feelings for me, getting pregnant (even though we are careful), wondering where it is going, etc.

I hope this is just a bad period and things will get better. I haven't been getting a lot of sunlight or exercise, 2 things that keep me sane. Perhaps this could still be aftereffects of Paxil, even though it's been a year?

[Johnnny off Paxil]

Originally Posted by ihatezaps

Hi all. It has been almost one year since my last tiny dose of Paxil after a long weaning period. Overall, I think my withdrawal was relatively easy and this year has been great. I feel so awake and alive. I accomplished a lot of things that I would have never done on Paxil.

The past couple of weeks have been a bit difficult though. I feel myself slipping into bouts of anxiety and depression. I've been having "episodes" of hypochondria, where I drive myself crazy thinking for hours I have rare diseases and Googling them. I KNOW this is not healthy behavior and it's just feeding my anxiety but it's hard to stop myself. I also feel very lonely and I miss my family.

I am having trouble concentrating and I feel like I'm losing my mind sometimes. Today I forgot my debit card pin number! The same number I've used at least once a day for the past 3 years! My mild ADD (which I believe with all my heart is due to 8 years on Paxil) has gotten worse in the past few months.

I am in a new relationship with a wonderful man and I cannot enjoy it because I'm feeling so insecure about his feelings for me, getting pregnant (even though we are careful), wondering where it is going, etc.

I hope this is just a bad period and things will get better. I haven't been getting a lot of sunlight or exercise, 2 things that keep me sane. Perhaps this could still be aftereffects of Paxil, even though it's been a year?

This is also a normal phase, but you'll find it not talked about too much..its simply not sexy or dramatic....Googlosis is also normal... the kind of thinking your talking about I call Paxil Fatalism...for instance in July before the last Harry Potter book came out, I thought I was going to be "dead" before it came out..so I "would never be alive" to appreciate it..then just a few weeks ago after coming back from an Astrologer..he said..Pluto will "square your House" this month.. Pluto can be interpreted in many ways..and off course how I interpreted it was "death"..which yes it CAN mean that but it can also mean "significant changes"..BUT my Paxil Fatalism read it as ..your going to die in December..maybe before Christmas and never see 2008........ see the pattern.......

Lastly there is an element of PTSD in all of this and you once again need to allow yourself the time to heal..this is all very traumatic and lastly ..we all have fears..the idea is that we don't let fear "dictate our lives'..... as Jung would say..."where there is will to power..there is fear..where there is fear there is absence of love...where there is love..there is no will to power and there is an absence of fear.. they are mutually exclusive.

Regards, Johnny

[Charlie]

Hi Katie,
This time of year can be more difficult even if you haven't withdrawn from one of these drugs. You're a beautiful young lady with a lot to offer some lucky young man. Never forget that!!!!! I'm old so I know these things.

Don't invite trouble by looking up ailments that might be wrong with you but aren't. Find something to do that will break the cycle like say exercise or go out in the sun.

[LCrawford67]

You've said some key things here, Katie, and it has nothing to do with w/d.

You're lonely and miss your family, you're in a new relationship, and of course, it's Christmas. These are all things that can cause sadness and anxiety in anyone!