how to get this out of my head

[holliewood]

For some reason the fact that there are claims that depression is genetic, I tend to obsess that because others in my family have experienced this that I must be doomed to struggle with this my whole life. Has anyone had these feelings and how do I overcome them?

Hollie

[Sher66]

Originally Posted by holliewood

For some reason the fact that there are claims that depression is genetic, I tend to obsess that because others in my family have experienced this that I must be doomed to struggle with this my whole life. Has anyone had these feelings and how do I overcome them?

Hollie

You know, I'm in this boat myself. My whole mother's side of the family, especially the females had what they call mental illnesses including, agoraphobia, anxiety/panic,suicides etc. I do have to say that I did have some real issues before I even started medications. I'm going back to as far as being 5 years old. Long story on my family. I wish I had the answers on how to overcome them myself so I could heal too.

[Paxilalmostkilledme]

Most of us were what the Doctors call depressed. Many of us clearly don't fall in that category anymore. Did Paxil cure us? Not a chance. we did.

[asylumsuz]

Hey Hollie. Yes, I obsess about this stuff too........alot! Everyone in my family has had mental illness. Guess this was inevitable for me. My mom had 8 siblings. ALL of them had mental illness. There was schizophrenia, depression, bipolar disorder, panic disoder and a number of attempted suicides. My grandfather died at the age of only 39 in a "lunatic asylum." My mom was ill too. She had severe anxiety, depression & was agorophobic for a long time. The majority of my cousins & my own siblings have been diagnosed with various forms of mental illness. My own daughter has panic disorder which started when she was only 12 years old. Not knowing any better, I took the advice of a doctor & let her take Prozac. She took it for a few years & weaned herself off of it. Unfortunately, she still battles with severe anxiety and some depression. She's now 20 yrs old.

Obsess??? Yeah, I know that feeling. I can't stop going over my family history in my head. Over & over. I think I blame my family and am angry with them. Even though I fully know this was not something they deliberately did to me. Think I need therapy, but am not comfortable talking to a stranger. It certainly helps me reading/postin on this site. Knowing that I'm not alone is so helpful & comforting.

[asylumsuz]

Hey Sherr! Sounds like you're related to me.....lol!
-Susanna

[Amaya's Nana]

Originally Posted by Paxilalmostkilledme

Most of us were what the Doctors call depressed. Many of us clearly don't fall in that category anymore. Did Paxil cure us? Not a chance. we did.

Right on!!!!!!!

[Sher66]

Originally Posted by asylumsuz

Hey Sherr! Sounds like you're related to me.....lol!
-Susanna

Oh I know. The stories I could tell you with my mother, grandmother and cousins would make your hair stand straight up.

[asylumsuz]

Sher.......trust me. Your stories wont make my hair stand up straight. The stories of my family are worse than a soap opera. I wish I knew how to seriously write a book. Just don't know if it would be considered a comedy because it's all so absurd........you gotta laugh. Or is it a horror story? It's very frightening & macaab. Totally unbelievable and most creepy....terrifying actually!

[asylumsuz]

Just an after thought. My entire family history was hidden away for 75 years, I accidently stumbled on some old letters when my mom died. I investigated like crazy to find out about babies given away, incest, a homicide, suicides, hidden graves,falsified records, lots of mental illness & stays in mental institutions. I found relatives I never knew about because the rest of the family hid things because of shame. I even just participated & starred in a documentary about the asylum my grandfather was in & died in. Lots of horror stories on record from this place. It was in the early 1900s & psychiatry was not what it is today. No one got out of the asylum.........they died there. It was called Snake Hill!! Labotomies & ECT were the only treatments. And it was done quite barbaric back then. My poor grandfather got dumped in an unmarked grave, My grandmother left instructions at the cemetery not to tell anyone inquiring that he was buried there, He was in an unmarked grave. No marker of any kind. When I started searching for answes my grandmother was already dead awhile. The cemetery agreed to give me the info becasue I am the last bvlood kin left. Since my discovery I have gotten him a gravestone & visit regularly with flowers. He's no longer hidden & an embarrassment. This is just ONE of my relatives.

So..........still think you can beat me with the stories??? lol!!!

[imokay]

hey asylum look what I found... http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1056133/

[asylumsuz]

Cally. That's the movie that I'm in!! That's the "insane asylum" that my grandfather died in!! It's a very interesting & creepy story!!
Susann

[Betsy]

Hey gals,
check out the controllinganxiety.com website. There are some tools there to help with depression and anxiety. I am from a large family, and we have had depression and anxiety, my only brother was diagnosed as schizophrenic when I was in Junior High. We have also found out in the last 7 years or so that a lot of us have Celiac disease, which is a gluten intolerance. The gluten, in wheat, barley and rye, damages your intestinal tract so that it cannot absorb the vitamins and nutrients it needs. We thought the mental disorders were hereditary, but we now KNOW the celiac disease IS! I had and aunt die from it as a 5 year old in the 1920s. Depression and anxiety are are the list of symptoms of celiac disease. I have also found that other food allergies can also be the cause of other emotional/mental disorders. There are so many things that can affect us. I do believe that poor coping skills are passed down from generation to generation, not knowing how to deal with things, being codependent, perfectionism, unreal high expectations. And then the next generation can take those things to a higher level and really do themselves in, all from not having accurate information or tools to help us through it all. So, we can educate ourselves, try to change the negative unhealthy coping skills to healthy, positive, accurate coping skills. We CAN change what we pass on to our children. We just need to educate ourselves, being kind to ourselves and accept doing the best we can do as a wonderful gift to ourselves and our families. You really can't make your family change, but I'm learning that this old dog (me!) can learn new tricks and I'm so happy to have found them. As a family, we are supportive of each other and try to share the positive things we've learned with each other. Yeah, we have issues, all large families do, but we work through them. There is hope, we just have to keep learning! Good luck to you all!
Betsy

[Johnnny off Paxil]

Originally Posted by holliewood

For some reason the fact that there are claims that depression is genetic, I tend to obsess that because others in my family have experienced this that I must be doomed to struggle with this my whole life. Has anyone had these feelings and how do I overcome them?

Hollie

Nonsense....depression is not "genetic" ..neither is "cancer" or any other illness...like Darwinism this is slowly being debunked.

What your family history does probably have is a history of abuse..it could be out and out , in your face, abuse...it could be subtle emotional manipulation, it could be as simple as emotional repression, it could be a history of pure abuse, physical, emotional ,psychological .
I find often, the medical establishment is complicit in wanting of obfuscate issues that have direct links to a child's traumatic experience of the toxic minefield of adults "acting out" their emotional and psychological problems" on or vicariously through them. In most cases this is done unconsciously.
Very often, the child is a "mute witness " , being powerless to change the destructive and abusive situation to which he or she lives.
Depression is a function of your mind and body telling you something is not right, its not a disease,,unless having feelings and emotions is a form of disease.
We live in a society where there is a stigma attached to depression, where and when "negative emotions" arise..we are supposed to bury them or dump them in a landfill somewhere.
Its a very complex issue, CG Jung saw that depression had behind it something healing and therapeutic, he encouraged his patients to explore and go into the depression rather than fight it, that there was something meaningful to be found in it.
The general "bias" in North America at least is that emotional issues are treated with drugs, that the patient as a human being with needs, needing to be listened to, valued, heard, appreciated ..these are useless and unnecessary.
I could go down the list about the "crimes" the medical establishment commits against human beings..there are innumerable movies and books out there that address this.

It is true that when we come face to face, for the first time, the whole sordid history in our families of mental and emotional and sometimes physical abuse, it seems overwhelming......but I will quote what it says in the famous "Aurora Consurgens".... when the "blackness comes(depression) rejoice... as it is the beginning of the Work( healing) "...

Rather than seeing the cup as half empty, think of this as an opportunity to set things right, to know and experience things you would have never ever considered.
Seek out help, seek out people that genuinely care.
Ask, the Universe to help you.... God..right now.. I need your help......and assume..that you ARE going to get a response.

I could go on and on..but I think you get the point.....

Regards, Johnny

[asylumsuz]

Wow............sorry to disagree so strongly with you Johnny. But mental illness is a genetic thing. I had 2 grandparents & 8 aunts/uncles on my maternal side. EVERY one had a mental illness. I have 7 siblings, plus myself. ALL of us have mental illness. Out of my mom's side of the family I have 15 cousins, and 13 are diagnosed as mentally ill. Out of my 8 nieces/nephews.........6 have mental illnesses. I have 3 kids of my own & 2 have been diagnosed with menatl illness.

You want to tell me this is not heredity? Sorry.............it is. Too much to be coincidental. By the way......there is no physical abuse in my family.....just to clear that statement you made up.

[Johnnny off Paxil]

Yeah..right.... I won't bother with that one...nice big fish though..I might bite


"its clear you made that one up"..its also clear you don't read carefully......lets just leave it at that and you have yourself a Merry Xmas

[Alsacienne]

If mental illness/depression is hereditary, it's not to the past that I look with concern - what will befall my son?

[Johnnny off Paxil]

Originally Posted by Alsacienne

If mental illness/depression is hereditary, it's not to the past that I look with concern - what will befall my son?

You see, in Jungian terms to use this word "hereditary"..is really a form of escape, of denial.. this is what he would say. Today with all the research I think he would probably agree that there is "some" hereditary" aspect to it but that the percentage is very small.

In Jung's time they called it a "neurosis", Jung saw "neurosis" not as something negative, but as a meaningful response from Nature, that we we're not living in accordance with our true instincts, the "neurosis/depression" is a healthy response to an unhealthy situation..that we as human beings are responsiblke for.

This is a very complex subject that really should be on another thread, because at this point we are hijacking this one.

The Jungian view is that there is such a thing as "Soul a Psyche"..in modern psychiatry and some psychology..there is only genetics, disease, and drugs...the Jungian aspect looks at the whole human being.

If you want to talk on Skype...I speak fluent French..just PM me and we can talk about it if you want..I leave it to you.

Regards, Johnny

[texgirl]

The problem with playing the heredity card is that people tend to think it absolves them of responsibility for their mental health. (I'm not saying that any of you do this; I'm just speaking generally.) If someone's grandparent or parent struggled with depression or anxiety, that person might think that their fate is impossible to escape, which is simply not true.

Let's face it, in this day and age, everybody has a family member with some sort of mental or emotional problem. A genetic component may very well be present, but it's also a matter of environment and learned behavior. And anything that's been learned can be unlearned, negative thought patterns and habits replaced with healthier ones. My father was a deeply depressed and bitter man for the last 20 years of his life. There's nothing I can do about having inherited his genes, but I can and do make the choice every day not to give in to his example.

[Amaya's Nana]

Originally Posted by texgirl

The problem with playing the heredity card is that people tend to think it absolves them of responsibility for their mental health. (I'm not saying that any of you do this; I'm just speaking generally.) If someone's grandparent or parent struggled with depression or anxiety, that person might think that their fate is impossible to escape, which is simply not true.

Let's face it, in this day and age, everybody has a family member with some sort of mental or emotional problem. A genetic component may very well be present, but it's also a matter of environment and learned behavior. And anything that's been learned can be unlearned, negative thought patterns and habits replaced with healthier ones. My father was a deeply depressed and bitter man for the last 20 years of his life. There's nothing I can do about having inherited his genes, but I can and do make the choice every day not to give in to his example.

Well said and I wholeheartedly agree!

[Scott]

Originally Posted by texgirl

The problem with playing the heredity card is that people tend to think it absolves them of responsibility for their mental health. (I'm not saying that any of you do this; I'm just speaking generally.) If someone's grandparent or parent struggled with depression or anxiety, that person might think that their fate is impossible to escape, which is simply not true.

true and i heard a report on it once which explained it's not so much genetics as it is taking on the lifestyle choices your parents and grandparents practiced that led to their disease. My brother in law's dad had some heart problems and my sister was telling him not to eat such crap all the time.. he made the comment that his dad had it so there's no preventing it.. nevermind he eats fast food all the time. It's the lifestyle, not so much the genetics.

[numbpal]

Originally Posted by holliewood

For some reason the fact that there are claims that depression is genetic, I tend to obsess that because others in my family have experienced this that I must be doomed to struggle with this my whole life. Has anyone had these feelings and how do I overcome them?

Hollie

The problem with the issue of heredity and genetics playing a part in depression (and other disorders) is that there is no scientific proof. It’s the age old marketing tool that has led us all to believe we have a biochemical imbalance. I never dismiss the fact that the characteristics I inherited from my parents probably contributed to my behavior as an adult, and that emotional factors/traumatic, dramatic whatever ,have had an impact on how I have developed as a human being. The problem with a biochemical imbalance is that it treats depression and other disorders as a disease – yet, to this day, no one has scientific proof that psychiatric disorders are objective, confirmable abnormalities of the brain...

[numbpal]

Here's a link to an article by a guy named Jonathan Leo - he has written a number of articles about the chemical imbalance theories...

http://www.springerlink.com/content/...0/fulltext.pdf

[Petrucci]

yup Jonathan Leo and Jeffrey Lacasse debunked the chemical imbalance theory. they debunked it on Fox news too.

[Betsy]

I agree with texgirl, not that anyone really cares!

And that was what I was trying to say in my post. We come with whatever genetics we come with. As we grow up, we pick up coping skills, whether healthy or not and we can learn to change some of those things if we seek out the information and genuinely apply it. There are some people, due to soe conditions, that have no interest or ability to do those kinds of things, as in physical handicaps or brain trauma due to lack of oxygen for some reason or other in life circumstances, (like mental retardation). For those of us who don't have that severity of brain damage, I think there is always hope for us ta make better lives for ourselves and our children. We can learn to cope in more healthy ways and teach them to do the same. "The Feeling Good Book" has been a HUGE helpe for me and my family members in my generation, as well as with my own children. And even talking about teenagers who all have the regular worries and fears when they are growing up. I have a HUGE family. My youngest daughter is my mom's 65th grandchild. Yes, there are "issues" with mental stuff, my great grandmother committed suicide. There was no physical abuse in my family either. I also believe that some of us humans are more emotionally sensitive and I know I have allowed myself to be hurt and offended more than "normal" people, just because I didn't know how to work through those emotions in a healthy way. My Dad would say "Don't feel that way." And I wanted to say TEACH me how to NOT feel that way! But he didn't know how. My hubby is one of the most positive people I know, he lets go of the past and looks to the future, but he didn't know why he could do that and I couldn't. He didn't know how to teach me. But David Burns DOES know how to teach us. Lots of people I've shared that info with, laugh and scoff or say, "I'm not that bad, I don't have to listen to that, or they say "Hey he's wrong, I'm angry and I have a right to be angry!" Either way you look at it, we can sit and blame or sit and rant and rave or ignore or change the way we look at things. We ALL have choice. We can choose to stay in the same place we are or choose to make our lives better for ourselves and those we love. Remember, if we continue to do what we have always done, we will continue to get the same results....and we can't blame our ancestors for that. We CAN educate ourselves, they didn't even have this info available. We have SO Much opportunity now! No, it won't change our genetics, but it just might change our lives.....are we willing to take the risk to be happy? Or do we want to continue in the fear that got many of us here in the first place?

It's your choice.
Good luck to you.
Betsy

[babs]

My mother had depression and committed suicide when I was 8. I struggled with depression at various times in my life and was told by doctors that it was genetic and I needed to be on antidepressants for life. I bought into that for a long time but my thinking is quite different now, after a horrendous withdrawal and a ton of information I learned on this site. I take responsibility for my own mental health now. I have been Paxil-free since May 2005 and no longer feel like I "need" a pill in order to cope with life. I may have inherited a sensitive nervous system but I can cope in different ways than my mother did.