how can I get better

[anjopom]

Hi Guys,

Can anyone tell me how I can get better;

21st, My daughter went on holiday abroad with her mates.
23rd, Anniversary of little one we lost
25th; Grandson goes into care home

I Just wanna feel better, I feel like ****, I feel anxious, went for check up at the docs on Tuesday, pulse rate is very high.

I am crying all the time, came down with a gi bug yesterday, so spent the day in bed alone. But no anxiety or crying.

Got up today, and things seem as bad as ever, is this a combination of whats happened during my week and the tapering of seroxat/paxil.

The hubby thing, well, have got to thinking, maybe its not all him, maybe its me too, he bought me red roses for easter, he has booked and paid for 3 week holiday to dominican republic, I don't want to sound ungrateful, but at this moment have no interest at all. The affection and companionship thing continues, with zero activity in the bedroom, but maybe thats my fault, who wants to go to bed with someone who is constantly feeling unwell, shaking, crying and a total mental mess. For the sake of my sanity and my marriage, this has to end soon.

I seem to have far too many hours in the day, how can I fill all this time, I have no interest in anything, my frends get sick of me wining, I have absolutely no interest in anything anymore. Is this the price I have to pay for the band aid I used for losing 2 babies, GOD ITS A DEAR ONE., and I'm not even off yet, I avoid letting my older children see what this drug has done to me, they'll think I HAVE GONE MAD.

HOW DO I GET MY LIFE BACK, this crap has had everything i own, including my self worth, my ability to live my life normal, and think normally, how I wish I could just sleeep this thing through to the end - but I cant, I have to be awake to feel all the things i am feeling right now, and god it hurts, I can't even type properly, keep hitting all the wrong buttons today.

Please has anyone any help to offer;

Anjopom

[pokie]

PM"D U

[Buxy`s Back]

Angie, somehow you get through, somehow we survive, i cant give you the answers i can just tell you that you will make it through to better , easier days ((((((((((((hugs))))))))))), im on the end of the phone if you need a chat anytime

[LCrawford67]

Angie, you have a lot going on right now that has absolutely nothing to do with Paxil. Those things would be stressful on anyone, let alone throwing tapering into the mix.

All of the things that have happened this week will pass, you need to be patient with yourself right now. It's ok to feel down and you and I have already discussed the hormonal issue that's also giving you fits right now.

Be gentle to yourself, don't over analyze everything, and just "be" right now. None of this will last, which you already know.

You also have to take into consideration, you've been on and off meds for 11 years. Now that you're tapering, emotions are coming back, which you probably haven't felt for a long time. When this happens, we have to learn how to deal with them all over again.

[momof2]

Angie,

I am crying reading your post! It just upsets me to no end how this is happening to all of us when no one deserves any of this! Life throws us curve balls and sometimes too many at once but God never gives you more than you can handle. (Even though at times it doesn't seem that way). I am so sorry about what you have been going through! Just remember that you are not alone...things with your husband will get better. Just talk to him and tell him how you are feeling and that you are so grateful to him for just being around for you! Hang in there and you will start feeling better again.

[LCrawford67]

Originally Posted by momof2

God never gives you more than you can handle. (Even though at times it doesn't seem that way).

Both of those statements are so true! We just have to believe this and do our best to find different ways of dealing with the bad times. When you've been on this stuff for so long, you get use to the blunted, or numb, emotions.

Sadly, when the stress does come, it seems overwhelming.

[leo79]

I understand how you feel with regards to still being on. I am down to 9mg of prozac and still in a very strange, unwell place most of the time. I am trying to pull in and use other methods of well-being. I use deep-relaxation, reiki, aromatherapy, yoga and a few other things to try and get well. You have been through a lot, I think you are pretty tough. Just keep going slow with the taper.

[csnyder002]

Angie- There is a WONDERFUL song that I would like you to find and listen to. It is called "Stronger", by a country artist named Carlene Carter. It is a very powerful song...Check it out and let me know what you think. Some of the lyrics are as follows:

..."What doesn't kill me makes me stronger
What doesn't kill me makes me stronger
I'll hold on a little longer
cuz What doesn't kill me makes me stronger"....

Carrie (hugs to you)