solitary confinement

kel · 05-08-2008, 06:22 PM

as you probably most of you know, im pretty non functional , and im living in a 12x 12 room..i cannot go in the other part of the house
i sit on my bed after getting up in the morning[going to washroom and washing up]then all day and night i meditate thru my symptoms.
.
MY-QUESTION--WILL MY BRAIN STILL HEAL IN THIS KIND OF CONFINEMENT?

its like asking you if i was in jail would i still get better...please dont scare me with your answers.....i used to be able to go outside more and its getting less and less since feb..
at this point im scared of ending up in the nut ward if i cant get well in my room....the depression is severe
and its been 12 months- will i have more good days that will take me outside these walls..

Cindywho · 05-08-2008, 06:32 PM

kel,

I'm not sure about the healing part but staying in one room all day meditating through symptoms doesn't sound healthy. Why can't you go into other parts of the house?

kel · 05-08-2008, 06:34 PM

my mom has the nasty form of dementia and verbally abuses me..
im so depressed since this drug i cant move from my room anymore

im not at my home i was travellling when it hit

Cindywho · 05-08-2008, 06:38 PM

Do you have any friends or relatives you could stay with for awhile? The heavy depression is probably a combination of all the factors, but not seeing other people or being outside isn't helping. How about just going outside to lie in the sun?

kel · 05-08-2008, 06:41 PM

cindy
im just having a rough day again and am starting to sound like a broken record..but i got no where to go
no cash .lost my jobs
i dont want to keep repeating myself ..maybe you could just read my threads
thanx

Scott · 05-08-2008, 06:47 PM

i know right where you are because i was there also.. i couldn't leave my room and at one point was so noise sensitive i remember spending the entire weekend with my fingers in my ears until they were sore because the neighbor's dog wouldn't stop barking.. it was a nightmare. Is it you can't leave your room due to agoraphobia or you just don't have anywhere to go? as mentioned it would be good for you if you could get some sun. I lived like a vampire for months, i couldn't bear the light.

I don't know what kind of faith you have but for me that was everything

kel · 05-08-2008, 06:55 PM

scott
everything you said made me feel better...
i felt exactly like you
i just cant seem to force myself outside and if i do .your right i have no where to go
its taken my driving and riding away.and my legs for walking
i wake up everyday hoping for one of those good days where i can do something..even laundry or wash the floor
im scared my life wont come back
HOW LONG WERE YOU LIKE THAT?

Scott · 05-08-2008, 07:10 PM

my last episode like that was mid july 2006 until about the end of october of that year. Since then it hasn't happened. I don't know what it was really.. i've been drug free since september of 05'. I just had periods of head symptoms, migraine headachish something that i can't describe that left me crippled. I was too light sensitive to leave my room. Plus at the same time I had terrible episodes of intense memory recall.. it was as though i was revisiting every memory in my head and the feelings came with them. I can't describe this. Also it was as if if I thought of something i could be afraid of, the fear seemed terribly real. I really can't describe it. I was utterly crippled though. There just comes a time when it lifts and you can't really remember how bad it was... though you know it was.

I'll have to go back and read about where you're at but I know that if you just keep going you will recover. It doesn't seem like it when you're stuck in your room.

I always post these quotes that were a comfort to me in my hard times.

At the same time, I saw a certain person and, in part, the condition of his soul and the ordeals God was sending him. His sufferings were of the mind and in a form so acute that I pitied him and said to the Lord, “why do you treat him like that?” and the Lord answered, for the sake of his triple crown. And the Lord also gave me to understand what unimaginable glory awaits the person who resembles the suffering Jesus here on earth. That person will resemble Jesus in His glory. The Heavenly Father will recognize and glorify our soul to the extent that He sees in us a resemblance to His Son. (Divine Mercy in My Soul)

I often see a certain person dear to God. The Lord has great love for him, not only because he is striving to spread the veneration of God’s mercy, but also because of the love he has for the Lord God, although he does not always feel this love in his own heart and is almost always in Gethsemane. However, this person is always pleasing to God, and his great patience will overcome all difficulties.

Oh, if only the suffering soul knew how it is loved by God, it would die of joy and excess of happiness! Some day, we will know the value of suffering, but then we will no longer be able to suffer. The present moment is ours.

Know, too, that the darkness about which you complain I first endured in the Garden of Olives when My Soul was crushed in mortal anguish. I am giving you a share in those sufferings because of My special love for you and in view of the high degree of holiness I am intending for you in heaven. A suffering soul is closest to My Heart.

One day, I saw two roads. One was broad, covered with sand and flowers, full of joy, music and all sorts of pleasures. People walked along it, dancing and enjoying themselves. They reached the end without realising it. And at the end of the raods there was a horrible precipice; that is the abyss of hell. The souls fell blindly into it; as they walked, so they fell. And their number was so great that it was impossible to count them. And I saw the other road, or rather, a path, for it was narrow and strewn with thorns and rocks; and the people who walked along it had tears in their eyes, and all kinds of suffering befell them. Some fell down upon the rocks, but stood up immediately and went on. At the end of the road there was a magnificent garden filled with all sorts of happiness, and all these souls entered there. At the very first instant they forgot all their sufferings. (153)

There He hangs, pale figure pinned against the wood.
God grant that I may love Him, as I really know I should.
I draw a little closer to share that Love Divine
and almost hear Him whisper "ah, foolish child of Mine".
If I should now embrace you, my hands would stain you red,
and if I lean to whisper, the thorns would pierce your head.
Then I knew in silence, that love demands a price
Twas then I learned that suffering, is but the kiss of Christ.

If we would ever come to the complete realization that God loves us even when He allows us to suffer, we would all be saints.

just know that God is with you in your pain when noone else is.. nothing can happen to you that He hasn't seen and allowed for some greater good. I'll keep you in my prayers for as long as it takes. I know you will recover.

Rachelina · 05-08-2008, 07:24 PM

Kel, I have had the same experience - not being able to leave the house and having many days when I couldn't leave my room. Your brain WILL continue to heal no matter what you do. Just go out whenever you feel able to. I know you can't drive or ride, but you CAN still walk. Even very very short walks are good for you. Sometimes I just walk like two houses down the street and come right back if that's all I feel able to do - it's better than nothing. Hang in there Kel. I am glad you are coming on here for support and I know you're going to make it!

kel · 05-08-2008, 07:34 PM

rach
as i said before you are my godsend..
i go outside to get the mail everyday or most days
but sitting alone in this room im scared itll make me crazy
i keep thinking of the length of time its going to take and i even question will i be ok at the end..the what ifs
everyday i think im commitable and should get shock treatments...
hugs gurl

Lilly · 05-08-2008, 09:02 PM

Don't you go back to those shock treatments kel! Never! I don't think they help people just like the drugs. You will heal, no matter what and you are well on your way now so just keep going okay! I know your scared and you feel stuck, but really you are healing in all of this. If I had given up to my questioning I would not be where I am now, which is where you are going to be too!

Lilly

kel · 05-08-2008, 11:20 PM

LILLY
its seems to be getting harder to get thru each day more and more instead of easier
im getting no breaks.....
i really dont know how you did the time you did..i dont want to die either but im struggling here
hugs gurl

akaenew · 05-08-2008, 11:30 PM

kel- it is awful, but by your timeline you may be at the worst of it and it won't be too much longer before you feel some relief. It is so worth it to keep going and get off paxil forever. Time is the answer. I understand exactly where you are coming from. My withdrawal has been brutal, complete He**. But it does get better. I never thought I would be saying that but it does-

Do you have a friend that could help you pass some time? Try to hang in there- someday this will all be a past nightmare. akaenew

ttwister · 05-09-2008, 05:25 AM

Hi Kelly,

Being in a small dark room is not at all good, in fact it is enough to depress the hell out of most anyone.

With what you said about your mother on top of that, all I can tell you is, do yourself a favor and get the hell out of there.

Even through the worst of my cold turkey withdrawals I traveled for xmas and such, it was the last thing I wanted to do but sometimes you have to. I really think you could handle a trip to your home if you were so inclined, whatever toll the trip would take would pay itself off before very long.

You need to get yourself into a healthier environment and get yourself some peace of mind and then you can let the rest take care of itself.

Songbird · 05-09-2008, 05:48 AM

I agree, is there somewhere else you could go? You need to get yourself to a better place.

kel · 05-09-2008, 07:09 AM

thanx for all that you guys..but you dont realise how dis functional i am,,the depressions making me not even be able to take care of myself....
i have no where to go,,i cant drive let alone i cant even walk out the door..
im sick..i cant function,its real bad since feb,it all went to hell

akenew--you give me some hope.

.ttwister you scare me,,my room is my safe zone and i feel im getting better there....the sun bothers me.....my lifes gone and it depresses me more..i couldnt travel.i barely make it to the washroom...

this going off drug has really killed me , im scared im not coming back.yet there was no depression before it

kel · 05-09-2008, 11:45 AM

please tell me this is withdrawl depression and it will leave...
in 98 i attempted suicide over these same feelings , and i couldnt get out of the depression without an AD and. THEY GAVE ME SHOCK..THE ONLY DIFFERENCE IM FEELING WITH THIS DEPRESSION IS" i want to live.".....but im struggling daily waiting for a good day like in feb......seems there all gone and not coming back

Jax · 05-09-2008, 12:09 PM

Things will come back! Things will get better...and you do want to live...that is a step in the right direction. There will always be rough spots, but better days are on their way.

Betsy · 05-09-2008, 12:48 PM

Kel,
Maybe read the relaxation stuff Ive been talking to Songbird about on her thread about akethesia, maybe the relaxation might help you. Songbird is just starting it and she'll know in a few weeks if it works for her. It is just an idea. There are lots of suggestions on site on the computer. Check out controllinganxiety.com. Maybe you've got some anxiety going on as well. I do in the middle of my tapering stuff. But this has helped me get through it.Good luck to you, I'm sad things are so hard for you right now and have been for so long. I've been there....but I wasn't off the med completely yet.
Betsy

kel · 05-09-2008, 01:21 PM

Right now im being overwhelmed with the threads of people doing 24 months and still not well...i cant even get thru 12 months....i will never make it to that --if my lifes gone i might as well die now instead of the suffering im dealing with........like those others are...how do they do it?..
god i dont know how to get through this...

ttwister · 05-09-2008, 01:31 PM

Ya know what, if you can't leave your little safe room, endure a ride on the greyhound, etc, you should probably check yourself in someplace and see what's up.

kel · 05-09-2008, 01:46 PM

whats that suppose to mean ' COMMITT MYSELF"
whats up is withdrawl...
thanx for the encouragement

ttwister · 05-09-2008, 01:47 PM

Oh, so you're Ok after all. Well that's good news.

akaenew · 05-09-2008, 01:51 PM

kel- I can't give you advice about whether or not you should stay in the room or not..... but I don't think you should check in anywhere. They will give you drugs and that will only set you back. I would not go there if I were you. kel.... I have been as bad as you are and it does get better. I had unrelenting depression, depersonalization, and anxiety for months. I can tell you it does get better. For me, nothing helped but time, time, time. Time away from the drugs is the only solution, in my opinion. My heart aches for you. It is nasty, hopeless. But it does end. Noone can tell you when, that's the problem. peace to you, akaenew

kel · 05-09-2008, 01:54 PM

ttwister
you think my sufferings a joke?
you think i want to be in this room,that its my choice ,,i need support not smart *** answers to break my heart

your lucky you could travel and not be in my spot ,,why come down on me for something i cant do?

05-08-2008, 06:22 PM	#1
kel Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: bc canada Posts: 288	solitary confinement as you probably most of you know, im pretty non functional , and im living in a 12x 12 room..i cannot go in the other part of the house i sit on my bed after getting up in the morning[going to washroom and washing up]then all day and night i meditate thru my symptoms. . MY-QUESTION--WILL MY BRAIN STILL HEAL IN THIS KIND OF CONFINEMENT? its like asking you if i was in jail would i still get better...please dont scare me with your answers.....i used to be able to go outside more and its getting less and less since feb.. at this point im scared of ending up in the nut ward if i cant get well in my room....the depression is severe and its been 12 months- will i have more good days that will take me outside these walls..

05-08-2008, 06:32 PM	#2
Cindywho Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 441	Re: solitary confinement kel, I'm not sure about the healing part but staying in one room all day meditating through symptoms doesn't sound healthy. Why can't you go into other parts of the house? __________________ ----------------------- Started Paxil 1999 for anxiety Stopped in Apr 2003 after tapering from 30 mg Started Paxil again in Mar 2005 Oct 2006 tapered to 5mg too fast and flamed out Now at 20mg

05-08-2008, 06:34 PM	#3
kel Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: bc canada Posts: 288	Re: solitary confinement my mom has the nasty form of dementia and verbally abuses me.. im so depressed since this drug i cant move from my room anymore im not at my home i was travellling when it hit

05-08-2008, 06:38 PM	#4
Cindywho Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 441	Re: solitary confinement Do you have any friends or relatives you could stay with for awhile? The heavy depression is probably a combination of all the factors, but not seeing other people or being outside isn't helping. How about just going outside to lie in the sun? __________________ ----------------------- Started Paxil 1999 for anxiety Stopped in Apr 2003 after tapering from 30 mg Started Paxil again in Mar 2005 Oct 2006 tapered to 5mg too fast and flamed out Now at 20mg

05-08-2008, 06:41 PM	#5
kel Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: bc canada Posts: 288	Re: solitary confinement cindy im just having a rough day again and am starting to sound like a broken record..but i got no where to go no cash .lost my jobs i dont want to keep repeating myself ..maybe you could just read my threads thanx

05-08-2008, 06:47 PM	#6
Scott Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: somewhere in between Posts: 11,616	Re: solitary confinement i know right where you are because i was there also.. i couldn't leave my room and at one point was so noise sensitive i remember spending the entire weekend with my fingers in my ears until they were sore because the neighbor's dog wouldn't stop barking.. it was a nightmare. Is it you can't leave your room due to agoraphobia or you just don't have anywhere to go? as mentioned it would be good for you if you could get some sun. I lived like a vampire for months, i couldn't bear the light. I don't know what kind of faith you have but for me that was everything __________________ Scott aka Scott What has happened to it all? Crazy, some are saying Where is the life that I recognize? Gone away But I won't cry for yesterday There's an ordinary world Somehow I have to find And as I try to make my way To the ordinary world I will learn to survive surviving an ssri reaction alternative anxiety treatments

05-08-2008, 06:55 PM	#7
kel Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: bc canada Posts: 288	Re: solitary confinement scott everything you said made me feel better... i felt exactly like you i just cant seem to force myself outside and if i do .your right i have no where to go its taken my driving and riding away.and my legs for walking i wake up everyday hoping for one of those good days where i can do something..even laundry or wash the floor im scared my life wont come back HOW LONG WERE YOU LIKE THAT?

05-08-2008, 07:10 PM	#8
Scott Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: somewhere in between Posts: 11,616	Re: solitary confinement my last episode like that was mid july 2006 until about the end of october of that year. Since then it hasn't happened. I don't know what it was really.. i've been drug free since september of 05'. I just had periods of head symptoms, migraine headachish something that i can't describe that left me crippled. I was too light sensitive to leave my room. Plus at the same time I had terrible episodes of intense memory recall.. it was as though i was revisiting every memory in my head and the feelings came with them. I can't describe this. Also it was as if if I thought of something i could be afraid of, the fear seemed terribly real. I really can't describe it. I was utterly crippled though. There just comes a time when it lifts and you can't really remember how bad it was... though you know it was. I'll have to go back and read about where you're at but I know that if you just keep going you will recover. It doesn't seem like it when you're stuck in your room. I always post these quotes that were a comfort to me in my hard times. At the same time, I saw a certain person and, in part, the condition of his soul and the ordeals God was sending him. His sufferings were of the mind and in a form so acute that I pitied him and said to the Lord, “why do you treat him like that?” and the Lord answered, for the sake of his triple crown. And the Lord also gave me to understand what unimaginable glory awaits the person who resembles the suffering Jesus here on earth. That person will resemble Jesus in His glory. The Heavenly Father will recognize and glorify our soul to the extent that He sees in us a resemblance to His Son. (Divine Mercy in My Soul) I often see a certain person dear to God. The Lord has great love for him, not only because he is striving to spread the veneration of God’s mercy, but also because of the love he has for the Lord God, although he does not always feel this love in his own heart and is almost always in Gethsemane. However, this person is always pleasing to God, and his great patience will overcome all difficulties. Oh, if only the suffering soul knew how it is loved by God, it would die of joy and excess of happiness! Some day, we will know the value of suffering, but then we will no longer be able to suffer. The present moment is ours. Know, too, that the darkness about which you complain I first endured in the Garden of Olives when My Soul was crushed in mortal anguish. I am giving you a share in those sufferings because of My special love for you and in view of the high degree of holiness I am intending for you in heaven. A suffering soul is closest to My Heart. One day, I saw two roads. One was broad, covered with sand and flowers, full of joy, music and all sorts of pleasures. People walked along it, dancing and enjoying themselves. They reached the end without realising it. And at the end of the raods there was a horrible precipice; that is the abyss of hell. The souls fell blindly into it; as they walked, so they fell. And their number was so great that it was impossible to count them. And I saw the other road, or rather, a path, for it was narrow and strewn with thorns and rocks; and the people who walked along it had tears in their eyes, and all kinds of suffering befell them. Some fell down upon the rocks, but stood up immediately and went on. At the end of the road there was a magnificent garden filled with all sorts of happiness, and all these souls entered there. At the very first instant they forgot all their sufferings. (153) There He hangs, pale figure pinned against the wood. God grant that I may love Him, as I really know I should. I draw a little closer to share that Love Divine and almost hear Him whisper "ah, foolish child of Mine". If I should now embrace you, my hands would stain you red, and if I lean to whisper, the thorns would pierce your head. Then I knew in silence, that love demands a price Twas then I learned that suffering, is but the kiss of Christ. If we would ever come to the complete realization that God loves us even when He allows us to suffer, we would all be saints. just know that God is with you in your pain when noone else is.. nothing can happen to you that He hasn't seen and allowed for some greater good. I'll keep you in my prayers for as long as it takes. I know you will recover. __________________ Scott aka Scott What has happened to it all? Crazy, some are saying Where is the life that I recognize? Gone away But I won't cry for yesterday There's an ordinary world Somehow I have to find And as I try to make my way To the ordinary world I will learn to survive surviving an ssri reaction alternative anxiety treatments

05-08-2008, 07:24 PM	#9
Rachelina Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: New Hampshire Posts: 842	Re: solitary confinement Kel, I have had the same experience - not being able to leave the house and having many days when I couldn't leave my room. Your brain WILL continue to heal no matter what you do. Just go out whenever you feel able to. I know you can't drive or ride, but you CAN still walk. Even very very short walks are good for you. Sometimes I just walk like two houses down the street and come right back if that's all I feel able to do - it's better than nothing. Hang in there Kel. I am glad you are coming on here for support and I know you're going to make it! __________________ Paxil 2000 - 2003. Started again 3/07 Failed 3-month taper from 30 mg ended 1/1/08. Nightmare started 4 weeks later; back to 10 mg 3/5/08. Down to 9 mg Paxil 10/8/08 * 8 mg 11/5/08 * 7.2 mg 12/17/08 * 6.4 mg 1/14/09 5.7 mg 2/11/09 * 5 mg 3/11/09 * 4.5 mg 4/22/09 * 4 mg 5/13/09 CRASHED, worst ever depression. Up to 5 mg 5/31, 7.5 mg 6/7, 10 mg 6/11. Trying again! Paxil 9.5 mg 7/19/09 * 9 mg 8/23/09 * 8.5 mg 9/27/09 *** 8 mg 11/1/09

05-08-2008, 07:34 PM	#10
kel Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: bc canada Posts: 288	Re: solitary confinement rach as i said before you are my godsend.. i go outside to get the mail everyday or most days but sitting alone in this room im scared itll make me crazy i keep thinking of the length of time its going to take and i even question will i be ok at the end..the what ifs everyday i think im commitable and should get shock treatments... hugs gurl

05-08-2008, 09:02 PM	#11
Lilly Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: Northwest Posts: 7,169	Re: solitary confinement Don't you go back to those shock treatments kel! Never! I don't think they help people just like the drugs. You will heal, no matter what and you are well on your way now so just keep going okay! I know your scared and you feel stuck, but really you are healing in all of this. If I had given up to my questioning I would not be where I am now, which is where you are going to be too! Lilly __________________ 1 .5 Xanax a day for one month. C/T. Same year, 3 .5 mil Xanax a day, 4 by the end. Pooped out on me. 1 1/2 years on the drug. Doctors taper. Very bad w/d. 9 months later took 10 mg Paxil and my Xanax w/d dissapeared. On 20 mg by end. Pooped out on me. C/T then restarted it again after 3 days and big blow up. 6 months taper, never feeling much better. 2 1/2 years solid w/d then sporadic stuff for 5 years. Completely recovered! Drug free since June 2001.

05-08-2008, 11:20 PM	#12
kel Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: bc canada Posts: 288	Re: solitary confinement LILLY its seems to be getting harder to get thru each day more and more instead of easier im getting no breaks..... i really dont know how you did the time you did..i dont want to die either but im struggling here hugs gurl

05-08-2008, 11:30 PM	#13
akaenew Join Date: Sep 2006 Posts: 501	Re: solitary confinement kel- it is awful, but by your timeline you may be at the worst of it and it won't be too much longer before you feel some relief. It is so worth it to keep going and get off paxil forever. Time is the answer. I understand exactly where you are coming from. My withdrawal has been brutal, complete He**. But it does get better. I never thought I would be saying that but it does- Do you have a friend that could help you pass some time? Try to hang in there- someday this will all be a past nightmare. akaenew __________________ Akaenew Paxil since July, 1994 As much as 20mg daily 10mg daily for most of 12 years Alternated 5mg and 7.5mg daily ~ last 2 years 5mg daily June, July 2006 2.5 mg daily couple days end of July Last dose of paxil 7-31-06

05-09-2008, 05:25 AM	#14
ttwister Join Date: Apr 2008 Posts: 39	Re: solitary confinement Hi Kelly, Being in a small dark room is not at all good, in fact it is enough to depress the hell out of most anyone. With what you said about your mother on top of that, all I can tell you is, do yourself a favor and get the hell out of there. Even through the worst of my cold turkey withdrawals I traveled for xmas and such, it was the last thing I wanted to do but sometimes you have to. I really think you could handle a trip to your home if you were so inclined, whatever toll the trip would take would pay itself off before very long. You need to get yourself into a healthier environment and get yourself some peace of mind and then you can let the rest take care of itself.

05-09-2008, 05:48 AM	#15
Songbird Join Date: May 2007 Location: New Zealand Posts: 7,046	Re: solitary confinement I agree, is there somewhere else you could go? You need to get yourself to a better place. __________________ Jul 01-Feb 02 Aropax Feb - Dec 03 Citalopram Jul 04 Aropax Jan 07 - Feb 08 20mg - 5mg Apr 4.5mg 5mg Jun 10mg zopiclone > seroquel Jul 20mg Aug + methionine Oct aropax > loxamine Dec off seroquel 7 Dec 17.5mg 30 Dec 15mg 24 Jan 12.5mg 16 Feb 10mg 10 May 9mg 30 May 8mg 5 July 7.5mg 2 Aug 7.25mg 1 Sep 7mg 9 Oct 6.75mg 8 Nov 6.5mg Appreciation is the antidote to stress - Trust is the antidote to fear

05-09-2008, 07:09 AM	#16
kel Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: bc canada Posts: 288	Re: solitary confinement thanx for all that you guys..but you dont realise how dis functional i am,,the depressions making me not even be able to take care of myself.... i have no where to go,,i cant drive let alone i cant even walk out the door.. im sick..i cant function,its real bad since feb,it all went to hell akenew--you give me some hope. .ttwister you scare me,,my room is my safe zone and i feel im getting better there....the sun bothers me.....my lifes gone and it depresses me more..i couldnt travel.i barely make it to the washroom... this going off drug has really killed me , im scared im not coming back.yet there was no depression before it

05-09-2008, 11:45 AM	#17
kel Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: bc canada Posts: 288	Re: solitary confinement please tell me this is withdrawl depression and it will leave... in 98 i attempted suicide over these same feelings , and i couldnt get out of the depression without an AD and. THEY GAVE ME SHOCK..THE ONLY DIFFERENCE IM FEELING WITH THIS DEPRESSION IS" i want to live.".....but im struggling daily waiting for a good day like in feb......seems there all gone and not coming back

05-09-2008, 12:09 PM	#18
Jax Join Date: May 2008 Location: Iceburg, Idaho Posts: 510	Re: solitary confinement Things will come back! Things will get better...and you do want to live...that is a step in the right direction. There will always be rough spots, but better days are on their way. __________________ Got suicidal Oct. 2007, started 50 mg Zoloft Mess from Oct to Dec, off in Dec 2007 Jan 2008 - Prozac 20 mg, 40, back to 20, and then 10 mg July 6, 2008 - 7 mg Aug 5, 2008 - 5 mg Aug 9, 2008 - 7 mg Sep. 7, 2008 - 6 mg Oct. 6, 2008 - 5 mg Dec. 15, 2008 - 4 mg Feb. 10, 2009 - 3 mg March 25, 2009 - 2 mg April 20-ish, 2009 - 0 mg Also, I am Betsy's daughter. "All human wisdom is contained in these two words - Wait and hope." Edmond Dantes

05-09-2008, 12:48 PM	#19
Betsy Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Washington State Posts: 1,832	Re: solitary confinement Kel, Maybe read the relaxation stuff Ive been talking to Songbird about on her thread about akethesia, maybe the relaxation might help you. Songbird is just starting it and she'll know in a few weeks if it works for her. It is just an idea. There are lots of suggestions on site on the computer. Check out controllinganxiety.com. Maybe you've got some anxiety going on as well. I do in the middle of my tapering stuff. But this has helped me get through it.Good luck to you, I'm sad things are so hard for you right now and have been for so long. I've been there....but I wasn't off the med completely yet. Betsy __________________ Started at 30mgs 1997 1999 - 2004 tapered 25 to 12.5 Nov'05 10 mgs. Dec'05 tried liquid/BIG mess for me Jan'06 up to 15 mg. Mar'06 - Mar'07 15 mg to 10 mgs in tiny tapers every 6+ weeks Mar 07 - Mar 08 10 mgs to 7.5 tiny tapers w/digital scale Sep 08 - 7mgs April 09 - approx 6.25 mgs "SLOW AND STEADY WINS THE RACE" ~ The Tortoise

05-09-2008, 01:21 PM	#20
kel Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: bc canada Posts: 288	Re: solitary confinement Right now im being overwhelmed with the threads of people doing 24 months and still not well...i cant even get thru 12 months....i will never make it to that --if my lifes gone i might as well die now instead of the suffering im dealing with........like those others are...how do they do it?.. god i dont know how to get through this...

05-09-2008, 01:31 PM	#21
ttwister Join Date: Apr 2008 Posts: 39	Re: solitary confinement Ya know what, if you can't leave your little safe room, endure a ride on the greyhound, etc, you should probably check yourself in someplace and see what's up.

05-09-2008, 01:46 PM	#22
kel Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: bc canada Posts: 288	Re: solitary confinement whats that suppose to mean ' COMMITT MYSELF" whats up is withdrawl... thanx for the encouragement

05-09-2008, 01:47 PM	#23
ttwister Join Date: Apr 2008 Posts: 39	Re: solitary confinement Oh, so you're Ok after all. Well that's good news.

05-09-2008, 01:51 PM	#24
akaenew Join Date: Sep 2006 Posts: 501	Re: solitary confinement kel- I can't give you advice about whether or not you should stay in the room or not..... but I don't think you should check in anywhere. They will give you drugs and that will only set you back. I would not go there if I were you. kel.... I have been as bad as you are and it does get better. I had unrelenting depression, depersonalization, and anxiety for months. I can tell you it does get better. For me, nothing helped but time, time, time. Time away from the drugs is the only solution, in my opinion. My heart aches for you. It is nasty, hopeless. But it does end. Noone can tell you when, that's the problem. peace to you, akaenew __________________ Akaenew Paxil since July, 1994 As much as 20mg daily 10mg daily for most of 12 years Alternated 5mg and 7.5mg daily ~ last 2 years 5mg daily June, July 2006 2.5 mg daily couple days end of July Last dose of paxil 7-31-06

05-09-2008, 01:54 PM	#25
kel Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: bc canada Posts: 288	Re: solitary confinement ttwister you think my sufferings a joke? you think i want to be in this room,that its my choice ,,i need support not smart *** answers to break my heart your lucky you could travel and not be in my spot ,,why come down on me for something i cant do?

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