I wonder if I can ever live without Paxil

I started taking Paxil 6 years ago after a a sudden onset of panic attacks. I have always had a problem with anxiety, OCD and depression, dating back to when I was a kid. It would take me forever to get anything done, because I was so busy counting lines and retracing my steps -- little compulsive song and dances that would ease the fear that I would die or get sick otherwise. It goes on and on...

Paxil has not only stopped the panic attacks that struck after a near-fatal illness and car accident, it has helped me feel normal for the first time in my life. I use it in conjunction with meditation, exercise, and a healthy diet.

Maybe it's a coverup, maybe it's a farce, and God forbid, I may die an early death due to long-term Paxil use. But I can honestly say that I have never been so productive, so content, and so anxiety-free in my entire life. [/i]

[darcyb]

You wondering if you can ever live without Paxil? I asked myself that question when I was on it too. There were definitely benefits as you've observed in my experience too. But, I couldn't live without knowing the answer to that question and proceeded to find out.

I discovered that I can live without it. Keep that curiosity and your life will take you in wonderous directions while you find out.

I'm sure I can live without Paxil, but then I ponder...

Do I want to go back to being depressed, anxious, and panic-stricken?

There will probably come a day when I will have to withdraw from Paxil for some reason or another, and I dread that day.

[darcyb]

Better yet, ask yourself if you want to go through depression and anxiety just one more time for a short time so that you can remove those experiences from your life for good? It's very difficult to get through difficult challenges when the challenges aren't there to face.

The question is this: have anxiety/depression/panic for a couple years and never have them again, or run from anxiety/depression/panic forever knowing that it's always going to tug at you trying to have your attention.

Evolution occurs not with denial, but with acceptance and moving forward. Life is about change, not repetition. Does a bacteria survive antibiotics by 'not' mutating? Life changes itself so that the oppressive variables can no longer affect it. Life has progress towards freedom built-in, why fight that or shy from it?

These are just my views, and you'll still live a wonderful life if you share them or not, but my goal is to point a finger at things that might get missed during the attention-stealing trend that depending on a medication (an external fleeting sense of power) harbors.

My understanding of Paxil is that it actually works to fix the Seratonin levels in your brain, rather than just tranquilize you if it is the right drug for you. Not everyone's biochemical problem can be "repaired" by Paxil. I have taken it for 5 years, and it has allowed me to be very productive. I've gone off a few times to evaluate whether I still need it, and after a few months I find I do. I am going to go off again, only much more slowly this time because I think I can function without it now. I find exercise, diet, prayer or meditation, and staying busy are most helpful. I know I will need to address the underlying root of my anxiety more directly as I taper off. Any good ideas on what to do in addition to the things I mentioned above to attack the root cause of the anxiety? I don't have social anxiety, but personal. I also don't have full fledged panic attacks, but more like tight inside, especially in the middle of the night. This is such a great site and forum. Thank you all.

I would like to know how, if I've suffered from anxiety and depression my entire life, it will only be with me for a couple of years or a "short time" if I quit taking the Paxil now (referring to Darcy's note above).

Like Guest, I'm hoping that maybe others can offer suggestions on what, in addition to exericse, meditation, prayer, a healthy diet, and for me, years of therapy, can help us in the way that Paxil helps us now.

By the way, this site is wonderful! Thanks to all who contribute.

[darcyb]

Well, what did you try during those other years of depression in comparison to what you're trying today or have yet to try?

I'm not saying you've just sat on your laurels, heck no. I'm just curious about any techniques or shifts in perspective you found useful. I just find it a high improbability that out of the bazillions of variables that contribute to a mental health challenge, that one drug just happens to be the only solution. There are as many ways to answer the needs of hunger, so I like to keep on exploring the many ways to answer the needs of depression.

I found my cure for depression on redefining my relationship to the world and souls. My approach was to figure out why I kept on recreating the depression myself, even when I couldn't prove if it was really me or not. What I found were the following personal fears that kept me depressed:

-there is never enough of such and such

-so and so makes me feel

-I am alone

-today will predict tomorrow

-I have a chemical imbalance

When I attacked all the above personal myths, I found I could eliminate the depression myself through intuition and lightbulb moments. I'm not saying all that will work for you since it's Darcy tailored hehe but out of any of those (I have more), which catches your interest?

It took me 27 years to be the happy person I am today. I can't say how long I was depressed/anxious (more than half I imagine) but that is the time frame that reminded me that a whole life is the clock, not a year and not five. I gave you two to get you to imagine what that would feel like, to be finally free in such a short time. The feeling you get from entertaining a possibility, is incredibly powerful and creative I find. If I can't give or cure(myself, you, whomever), I try to inspire.

I have been on Paxil for about 6 years I had panic attacks starting when I was 16 and looked for 20 years for something Paxil has been great for me and I hope it helps others We all get overwhelmed at times and even talking about it can cause anxiety But facts are facts and if we have a low seratonin level and this elevates it then so be it Others may have other problems and may need different solutions I wish I didn't have to take a pill but for now I do
Good Luck to ALL
:O)<

I may be up in the night, but I tend to agree with Wayne. If your pancreas doesn't make the right amount of insulin, you are diabetic and all the therapy, sucking it up, etc. won't change that, only taking insulin. In the same way, my understanding is that for various reasons, the human brain may not produce the right amount of seratonin. This is often from stress. All the sucking it up in the world won't fix that. I readily agree that many people are taking Paxil that do not have that problem, and if so, I imagine that it would make you feel in a haze or drugged or whatever. If so, I would suggest stopping. But if it is your biochemical problem, it should make you feel more like yourself. I have found that to be the case. My current hope is that after taking it for several years and trying to deal with stress in my life, that my brain can now function correctly without the drug. Therefore, I try to go off occasionally. I have not weaned off before and therefore my past attempts have failed maybe because of that and not that I am not ready. This site is great and has helped my formulate a better plan to wean off very slowly to allow my body the chance to adapt and see if it is ready. You people are awesome and I respect your opinions, trials, experiences, etc. Good luck to all.

If anyone would notice--even the damn tv commercials say "MAY" be caused by a chemical imbalance. Know how they find out about that? During an autopsy. It's the only "seritonin" test known.
ali

The chemical imbalance thing...it may be a myth, it may not be...

But...sometimes one has to wonder when there is nothing to be depressed about and one gets depressed anyway.

My personal belief is that sometimes depression is a chemical thing and sometimes not...but even if it is, there are still ways to deal with a physical problem other than drugs. Even for diabetics there often is (I know at least four people with diabetes, and only one has no choice but to take insulin--but his was childhood onset.) At the moment I'd about kill for some non-drug ways of helping my body not do whatever the heck it wants without consulting me first >_<

But if the Paxil works...it works. I think it's useful for lifting depression long enough to find better ways to deal with it, but...maybe...if someone does have a bad imbalance, then there wouldn't be another way.

'Tis true there are many ways to deal with a medical problem, but sometimes the severity or peculiarity of one person's variety of that medical problem is just...medicine.

[PayPerView]

Considering how Paxil, Prozac, Zoloft and others are dispensed like candy, I doubt all who take such drugs have chemical imbalances.

These drugs undoubtedly help many people but there is ALWAYS a price to pay. The changes the occur in your personality, while possibly subtle, make you a 'different' version of yourself.

You may not notice it or you may think you are 'better' but I feel you become a 'digital' version of yourself. Amost like a copy of your personality that is identical yet somehow different.

I know this may sound obscur and a bit off the wall but I thought I was great on Paxil until I started reducing the dosage. Although the withdrawal was absolute hell, parts of my personality started re appearing. I felt much more motivated in all aspects of my life, the lower the dosage.

One huge problem stopping SSRI's is that as you reduce and experience withdrawal effects, you may believe that these were the reasons you were taking the SSRI's in the first place.

The truth is, you need to be off the drugs for a few weeks to regain your 'original' personality.

My mother is almost 80 and just started taking Prozac (again) for depression. She has very bad arthritis that is almost crippling. Although the Prozaac helps life her out of her depression, now that I am off Paxil/Prozac, I can detect a difference in her personality.

Although it is 'subtle' it is bizarre.

Once you realize how these drugs change you, you may not think they are so great.

Mark

...I hope the "you" in the last sentence isn't "me".

Anyway, there's a price to pay for any medication, no matter it be natural or not. Remember, opium and opiates, cannabis, curare, and several other near-direct from nature drugs are just that...and they all have an upside and a downside. Heck, I'm waiting for approval on Botox for my dystonia--Botox is a derivative of one of the most deadly bactierial poisons around. I'm sure there has to be a long term effect...a down side...but if it can help me stay around people without being in pain (and thus also allay my fear of being around noise and people that the dystonia has caused) I'm all for it.

There's a price to pay for psychotherapy--most people going in are not aware of themselves enough to know when they've been trapped in the subtle web of dependence and lies that psychs probably don't even realize they weave! It takes a strong effort of will to extricate oneself from it...and there's more downside--I've been labled, and it's HARD for doctors to see past that, which is why so very many of them insisted my movement disorder was psychological when they should have known better, ESPECIALLY the psychiatrists.

It's a matter of determining if the price is worth it. For me...when I realize what Paxil did for me, lifting the fog of depression long enough to find something Better...and considering the nature of that Better Thing...it's tough to say if it was worth it now that I have a price that most ex-Paxil users won't have to pay...but...yeah. Yeah, it was. Because that's the way my life unfolded, and I can't go back and ask for a different way of getting to where I am.

It was worth it. I wish I woulda figured out sooner and possibly have not had as high a price but what can ya do? It's in the past.

Am I saying Paxil's the greatest thing since sliced bread? Noooooooooo....maybe I'll post some serious heinous Paxil vitriol in the proper forum "Bad Experiences" on that topic. But here I'll say what Paxil did good for me, because this is the "Good Experiences" forum and I've had both....

Originally Posted by paxilprogress

Well, what did you try during those other years of depression in comparison to what you're trying today or have yet to try?

I'm not saying you've just sat on your laurels, heck no. I'm just curious about any techniques or shifts in perspective you found useful. I just find it a high improbability that out of the bazillions of variables that contribute to a mental health challenge, that one drug just happens to be the only solution. There are as many ways to answer the needs of hunger, so I like to keep on exploring the many ways to answer the needs of depression.

I found my cure for depression on redefining my relationship to the world and souls. My approach was to figure out why I kept on recreating the depression myself, even when I couldn't prove if it was really me or not. What I found were the following personal fears that kept me depressed:

-there is never enough of such and such

-so and so makes me feel

-I am alone

-today will predict tomorrow

-I have a chemical imbalance

When I attacked all the above personal myths, I found I could eliminate the depression myself through intuition and lightbulb moments. I'm not saying all that will work for you since it's Darcy tailored hehe but out of any of those (I have more), which catches your interest?

It took me 27 years to be the happy person I am today. I can't say how long I was depressed/anxious (more than half I imagine) but that is the time frame that reminded me that a whole life is the clock, not a year and not five. I gave you two to get you to imagine what that would feel like, to be finally free in such a short time. The feeling you get from entertaining a possibility, is incredibly powerful and creative I find. If I can't give or cure(myself, you, whomever), I try to inspire.

..................................................
New forum from Lisa:

I'm not sure if I've been posting correctly now all day. I've been erasing the text that the previous person posted. For example I would have erased everything you had written above and than began my text instead of leaving it remain there like I just did with this posting. Please advise how I should properly post.
Anyway, onto our topic of "Paxil". You seem to know a lot about not just Paxil but living and coping with depression as well. Are you a motivational speaker because if not you may want to consider giving some lectures. You definately inspired me, I'll attend! You seem very intuitive and have found a way to enjoy your life or atleast try to and I applaud you on all the effort you've put forth. Are you currently taking Paxil or have been on it at one time or another? I would really like to get off but having the same problems with the withdrawal. I was down to 5mg from 10mg and holding up pretty well on that minus the lowered libido. What would you suggest I do in general for myself. My issues involve panic attacks and depression which have taken me to places I wouldn't wish on my worst enemies! I'm taking Kolonopin 1mg 2xday for anxiety and Wellbutrin 150Sr for my depression but my Dr. feels the SSRI,Paxil is what helps to even it all out and keep me level. When I've tried to go off before I never felt quite as good, teary etc...
What's this I read about in the forum about Paxil having an impact on my lifespan I've never heard anything like that before that's a scary thought!
Please advise.

[Paxil Junkie]

paxil can cause breast cancer, accelerate alzheimer's disease, damage liver, iv seen one report of someone getting glaucoma and his doctor saying the paxil can cause that, it can cause many stomach problems(i have acid reflux from it) Schizophrenia, organic brain disease(especially mental retardation, greater rate in children), autism, anorexia, OCD, dependance upon various substances, and probably alot more long term damage that we dont know about yet, remember paxil is a new drug. I suggest you read www.drugawareness.org to find out what paxil actually does in the brain, and www.prozactruth.com for a list of over 40 side effects.

I think that we all need to decide for ourselves whether we want to take this drug for life or not. It is a very personalize decision. we are all on this for different reasons. Personally, I miss FEELING. I want to cry when others cry over sentiment OR sad things...I want to feel the anticipation of upcoming events and the exicitement of the event. I want to feel compassion and etc. Just 20 mG of paxil made me a robot. I was happy on paxil, but a different happy than what I feel just on a lower dose. Course I feel anxiety and saddness also, but we are human. We are supposed to feel. I know someone who just started this med, who has not shed a tear since she has taken it. She was always a very emtional person......now it is GONE. She can hear of death or whatever, and NOTHING, does not bother her. You wonder why people make bad decisions and stuff on this med. But again, if you suffer from a very serious condition, and paxil is a LIFE SAVER...and I mean literally, then it may be necessary. It is soooo hard to say. I just hate to see it mis used by people who dont want to deal with everyday stress.

I used to ask myself the same question when I was taking Paxil. The answer is yes, you can live without it but if you truly have an imbalance you do go back to the panic attacks and the worrying..etc. Oddly enough, I was surprised. I thought the pill had cured me. But, I would assume that someone who is just shy could actually learn while they are on the pill and get better because of the things they do while on the pill that they wouldn't do without it. I hope that makes sense.

[Paxil Junkie]

pill only helps tempararily, thats why the problems always come back, and they will come back no matter what...much like painkillers make the pain go away while your on it and then they just come right back, which is why they should call these pills emotion killers, lowers fear anxiety depression happiness excitability ect, but once u stop they just come right back.

I would like to live without Paxil but right now I can't get past 5mg. I have to go back to 10mg. So I'm stuck.

[JulieG]

You'll make it! I'm stuck at 7.5mgs right now, but I still have hope! Did you make a 5mg drop? THat is A BIG LEAP if you're having problems.

I've been on Paxil for a year and a half, and so far it's worked. I don't feel "robotic", and still have feelings - maybe even more than pre-paxil - and I can tell if I don't take it. People have even described me lately as compassionate. Before paxil, I could feel compassion, but couldn't really express it outside of my own brain. I am not as afraid to be outgoing, either. Given that I was afraid to talk aloud most of my life, this is a very big deal. I DON'T want to be on it my whole life, and I am considering tapering down. I have been experiementing with a gluten-free, dairy-free eating style, and because I've seen changes (for the good) in my skin condition, I wonder if it could be positively affecting my anxiety, too. I am more creative, too, with Paxil. I can focus and actually get t hings done, too.

Hi Debbie. hi everybody
I started paroxetine (not paxil but aroxat) 5 years ago. It took me out of a depression and disthymia that walked with me for several years. Till a few weeks ago I thought it was the panacea, a miracle. But reading all the posts here and some other articles I realized that somethings I missed from my personality, the weight gain and the absolute absence of sexual drives and some sort of robotic stuff was due to the drug. God!!

Still I can't deny the good results of paroxetine in my organism. As someone else wrote it lifted the veil of depression, it gave colors to my life, made me function. The change was incredible. I started to live, it was like a rebirthing.

Probably I should have stopped using it several years ago but my doctor said I preferably took it for life (I am 27) and even said that it would be very good that it was added to the water we drink and world would be a better place!! I believed her.

Two weeks ago I went to another psychiatryst and told me about the effects of prolonged usage. I could not believe what I heard. Most of things that worried me since a couple of years (no sexual drives, bad sleeping, horrifying nightmares, drowsiness during daytime, weight gain) were some of the drug effects in long term usage!

I was fighting all this problems with psychoterapy, but lately we were stuck and she suggested me to see this new doctor. Imagine, all this years trying to change and could not because of my altered biology.

Maybe my body is wise because a year or more ago I started to "forget" to take the pill and remembered it back again when the Zaps and electricity began. So more or less I have been quiting for some time. Because of this the new doctor waited to see how I was doing with 10mg every 3 days during a week. Besides the all known syntoms I am doing more or less OK and now finally I suspended completly.

I am afraid because I am leaving behind the "cure" for my depressions, for it really helped me.

I think that for those that prefer living without the depression and anxiety and think the price for it is not that expensive, should go on with paroxetine.

Sorry for the long story, I needed to tell the tale.
Thanks for this web site.

Originally Posted by WAYNE

I have been on Paxil for about 6 years I had panic attacks starting when I was 16 and looked for 20 years for something Paxil has been great for me and I hope it helps others We all get overwhelmed at times and even talking about it can cause anxiety But facts are facts and if we have a low seratonin level and this elevates it then so be it Others may have other problems and may need different solutions I wish I didn't have to take a pill but for now I do
Good Luck to ALL
:O)<

[Paxil Junkie]

to the last post...

"It is crucial to learn that according to medical research the theory behind this group of drugs is invalid. Known as serotonin reuptake inhibitors. They are designed to block serotonin in the brain, thereby increasing brain levels of this neurotransmitter. Yet for three decades researchers have been intensely interested in serotonin because LSD and PCP produce their psychedelic effects by mimicking serotonin. Elevated serotonin is found in: psychosis or schizophrenia, mood disorders, organic brain disease, mental retardation, autism and Alzheimer's. While low levels of the metabolism of serotonin (which also produces high serotonin), are found in those with: depression, anxiety, suicide, violence, arson, substance abuse, insomnia, violent nightmares, impulsive behavior, reckless driving, exhibitionism, hostility, argumentive behavior, etc. The drugs increase serotonin and decrease the metabolism of serotonin leading to any and all of the above results. This information is extremely crucial for patients and physicians to learn as soon as possible. We have a high rate of use of these drugs nationwide. Raising serotonin and lowering the metabolism of serotonin in such a large number of people can produce very serious, widespread and long term problems for all of society" Dr Ann Blake Tracey

Which is why 5htp works wonders for so many people(5htp is the metabolism of seratonin)... basically when your told u have a "chemical imbalance" (if u actually do have one, 80% of the people who are told this actually do not have it, its just a cost free way to diagnose someone, since there is no test involved)its not that your seratonin is low, its that your seratonin metabolism is low, and these drugs lower the metabolism even more by raising seratonin, , which is why there are so many problems...