It's me again

[anxietymom2]

Hi it's me again.. I haven't been on for awhile, but Im looking for some comfort and for someone to tell me that what Im feeling is not crazy.. Every since I had that huge panic attack after I ate chinese food, I have been very wary about food. We go out to eat everyday for lunch at the office and I used to enjoy it, now I dont even want to go, and if I do go I dont want to eat. Im so afraid of food now. I know it's probably just a set back and I have started back on my 30mg of paxil. I do feel a little bit better, but not completley.. It's so discouraging because I was doing so well, back into the swing of things and now, I can barely go to the grocery store for fear that I mite have an attack right there in front of everyone- noway!!!! Also is it normal for people with GAD and Panic attacks to set and daydream about what tragedy could possibly happen? It probably is.. It's so hard to talk to other people who have no clue what your talking about... My husband tried to tell me that it is mind over matter and that I could possibly fix myself.. I told him that if it was that simple I would have been healed a long time ago. He doesn't like the paxil at all, and says I dont care about anything anymore, like bills and keeping the house clean. You know what I realized? That for people like me, there is no room in our brain for stuff like that, because we are so filled up with the stuff we cannot control, or with fears that just take control. Theres no room for REAL LIFE!!!! Does that make sense? I really feel like our marriage is on the rocks because of all this. And the scarey part is, is that sometimes I feel like I dont care. Deep down I know it's tha pazil that makes me feel this way, cuz I love him with everything in me, but he wants a reaction of some sort from me, and sometimes Im so numb, I cant give him one. So sad... It goes both ways, I feel like he doesn't understand what Im going thru and I dont understand how all this must make him feel.... little advice?
Feb08-Lexapro for one month went off due to tremors
March 08-Paxil 20mg
May 08- Doctor put me on 30mg of paxil
March 09-Cut down 10mgs on my own and felt great
March 09- Had a major panic attack and had to go back to 30mgs

[LCrawford67]

I've moved your post to its own thread, Michelle.

What you're going through is perfectly normal. Once you have something like that happen to you, you're so afraid of it happening again, it impedes on your every day life.

Don't feel discouraged for going back up in dose; just give it time to kick back in and give you some relief.

Paxil does numb, that's exactly what it's suppose to do. But, you need to let your husband know, this isn't something you plan on staying on forever and will taper very slowly, once you're stable again.

[nickels]

Everything you have described is extremely typical and almost text book of someone who has generalized anxiety and panic attacks. We have a bad experience that results in a panic attack and we try to avoid that particular situation for fear that it will happen again. We constantly worry and think up new horrible possibilities of bad things and how we won't be able to handle it.

Its a vicious cycle and its very hard to get out....BUT, your husband is partially right, in a way it is mind over matter. Let me explain...a lot of generalized anxiety stems from negative thought patterns that we constantly revive and build in our head...a bad experience or panic attack just reinforces this negativity. Breaking the cycle and retraining your brain is all a part of Cognitive behavior therapy...I can't stress the importance of this enough. Learning ways to break down these negative thought patterns and dispell your irrational thoughts is really the best way to break the cycle. My advice to you is to find a therapist who can guide you with this type of therapy. If this isn't an option for you, try some self help books on CBT or websites. www.controllinganxiety.com and http://ecouch.anu.edu.au/welcome are a few that I've looked at that were helpful.

Do a search here for books and more advice and look into CBT, it really changed my life. I could have posted what you just wrote not too long ago. Feel better Michelle and hang in there!

[carolyn]

Originally Posted by anxietymom2

Also is it normal for people with GAD and Panic attacks to set and daydream about what tragedy could possibly happen?

Absolutely normal!!! Like Nickels said, this is very very typical for those of us with panic disorder and anxiety. Lucky us!

And as always, the lovely N has hit it on the head with breaking the negative thought pattern. Things like CBT and the websites she posted really do work.

BTW, my hubby also says things like, "you'd feel better if you'd just relax!" like that had never occurred to me. I think they just feel helpless and they don't know how to help us. Poor guys!

[LCrawford67]

Originally Posted by carolyn

BTW, my hubby also says things like, "you'd feel better if you'd just relax!" like that had never occurred to me. I think they just feel helpless and they don't know how to help us. Poor guys!

Too funny and SO true! Yes, relaxing! Why didn't I think of that??!!!

[anxietymom2]

Thanx guys, and Im sorry abouth the thread thing, how do you start a new one and do you start a new one everytime you post... Sorry Im clueless!!! Did I mention that paxil makes me stupid~

[nickels]

Originally Posted by anxietymom2

Thanx guys, and Im sorry abouth the thread thing, how do you start a new one and do you start a new one everytime you post... Sorry Im clueless!!! Did I mention that paxil makes me stupid~

lol...you don't have to start a new thread everytime you post, only if you have a new topic to discuss or a new question to ask.

To start a new thread you enter the forum that your topic pertains to and click this button:



its on the upper left hand side at the top of the board.

[Songbird]

I can relate to a lot of your post. My hubby doesn't understand any of this either. He is a really positive guy and has never had a mental health problem in his life, so it makes absolutely no sense to him. I'm sure he believes I'm somehow just doing this to myself and I could just fix myself if I just started being more 'positive'.

See if you can find the book 'Complete Self-Help for Your Nerves' by Dr. Claire Weekes. Also you can download some audio files of her speaking from the controllinganxiety.com website. I found both the book and audio files very helpful.

Oh, and no, you're not crazy!

[Betsy]

Not crazy, just on paxil and having withdrawal from a too large a taper issues.

Another book that is good is "When Panic Attacks"by David Burns. It does tell you how you can stop some of the stuff in your head. And it works. It takes commitment and effort, but it's worth it. The relaxation he talks about on the controllinganxiety.com website is also good to look into. It made ALL the difference for me. Exercise and avoiding stimulants like alcohol, caffeine, refined sugar and tobacco is also helpful, but don't cold turkey any of those either!

Keep posting here, we all need to post here as we get through this and I don't think anyone can out post me, not by length of individual posts anyway. I"m sure most people are glad I can't actually talk to them, no one would get a word in edgewise! You'd think I didn't get out much...oh, yeah,...I don't....JK
Betsy