10 month update

elixirmonkii · 05-30-2009, 06:36 PM

I am happy to post that akathisia has mostly dropped off of my symptoms list for now. So month 10 has brought some relief. It is still very uncomfortable with regular anxiety, and waves of even more intense anxiety in between. In addition to this, I really notice I have a low mood, the worst being I am not really excited or driven to do things like I used to. I used to be excited, and could devote myself to activities because of taking an extensive interest in them. I don't feel this, and actually feel lethargic to a degree. I am though glad that the severe stuff is letting up at this point, and hope to see more things drop off. So I guess right now is anxiety and anhedonia for the long haul. I guess I will keep pushing forward. I do hope the upcoming months bring more relief from these uncomfortable things. I still get panic in between things when I feel stressed or just in general I am anxious when there doesn't seem to be a reason to be. It is very strange for me, but I will take it over the severe issues I had during the previous 9 months. I guess that is all for now...

carolyn · 05-30-2009, 08:15 PM

WOOHOO!! So glad the akathisia is wearing off. Great news!

I can relate on the lethargy, sadly! I'm so apathetic some days that it frightens me to tears. I just try to remind myself that the other symptoms have gone away, and that one will too. Grrrr!

granturissimus · 05-30-2009, 09:22 PM

im glad your akathesia improved! i've prayed for you. akathesia is really really though.

Songbird · 05-31-2009, 04:08 AM

I'm glad you got relief from the akathisia, it is hell. I hope you get even more improvement soon.

elixirmonkii · 05-31-2009, 05:53 PM

I really cant believe I made it this far without touching a drug to cope. I know that if I would have taken anything, I would have ended up probably setting myself back, because I see it happen often people taking things and getting a few days relief and then ending up worse. I know now the only way is staying off all drugs, and even though it is severely difficult, it is the only way the body will recover from the effects. I have seen many people on here wondering why they are not getting better, or feeling like they are permanently damaged, and keep tossing new drugs into the mix, making things worse. What I really wanted to convey is that the changes last a long time, and I still see people repeating their same mistakes. Not that I dont understand wanting relief because I did and still do, but I also realize that you end up back at square 1 or worse. So, to all who are ready to throw in the towel, I guess I can vouch that what the body really needs is time to heal, and not introducing new synthetic substances into it that it has to process. It is still uncomfortable, and I still cannot believe the length of time involved in recovering, but I will continue the battle, and hope everyone else will see the benefits of avoiding drugs.

Toby 4 ever · 05-31-2009, 06:30 PM

I am so happy to hear this update elixir - I know how relieved you must feel to finally see some progress - I too had a subtle shift at the 10 month mark - the intensity of the anxiety lessened some and a lot of the foggy/depersonaliztion got better as well. I still have the anxiety issues and a lot of body pain which I hope will lessen in the coming months.

Hang in there - you are turning a corner....

Toby

elixirmonkii · 06-01-2009, 02:35 PM

Toby, your adverse reaction sounds like it was around the time period mine was? How far out are you right now. I still have nerve pain though it is very minor. I find the anxiety is the most uncomfortable, and also the anhedonia is there, so it feels like I'm just constantly lethargic and dont get excited over anything or want to do anything. I notice I still wake up shaky in the mornings, however now it only lasts a few minutes, so it seems to be improving. Still get some shortness of breath too, from the anxiety effect I presume. I guess I shouldn't complain because its not even month 11, so i guess we will see how things develop.

Aeroman · 06-01-2009, 03:05 PM

Welcome to the Anhedonia Club. Just hang tight.

Thats great the worst is behind you and we hope this continues for you.

See ya on MSN

Toby 4 ever · 06-01-2009, 03:15 PM

elixir - I am 11 months out and doing about the same as you are BUT the depression is lifting - before this I had to 'fake' doing anything and the accompanying anxiety was awful - now I can get out and do things and even forget w/d for a short time - I struggle daily with horrid back spasms and some numbness and tingling as well. I am on MSN also - pm me if you ever want to chat!

Thinking back to the depths of hell I was in a few months ago makes me focus on the progress I have made - sometimes this is harder to do than others.

curious - what do you mean by 'nerve pain'?

05-30-2009, 06:36 PM	#1
elixirmonkii Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: Northern California Posts: 396	10 month update I am happy to post that akathisia has mostly dropped off of my symptoms list for now. So month 10 has brought some relief. It is still very uncomfortable with regular anxiety, and waves of even more intense anxiety in between. In addition to this, I really notice I have a low mood, the worst being I am not really excited or driven to do things like I used to. I used to be excited, and could devote myself to activities because of taking an extensive interest in them. I don't feel this, and actually feel lethargic to a degree. I am though glad that the severe stuff is letting up at this point, and hope to see more things drop off. So I guess right now is anxiety and anhedonia for the long haul. I guess I will keep pushing forward. I do hope the upcoming months bring more relief from these uncomfortable things. I still get panic in between things when I feel stressed or just in general I am anxious when there doesn't seem to be a reason to be. It is very strange for me, but I will take it over the severe issues I had during the previous 9 months. I guess that is all for now... __________________ Prior to fluoxetine, I ingested a few MAOI cocktails, and had used various stimulants (ephedra) years ago. This is likely why I reacted so badly to this drug. 7/14/08 - Severe reaction to Prozac & Ativan! 7/15/08 - Discontinued all meds! First 4 months: Extreme Derealization/DP Extreme agitation & akathisia Unable to understand people Mind racing faster than I could think. Severe negative thoughts Now: Constant restlessness inside, anxiety & agitation, and anhedonia.

05-30-2009, 08:15 PM	#2
carolyn Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: SF Bay Area, CA Posts: 3,105	Re: 10 month update WOOHOO!! So glad the akathisia is wearing off. Great news! I can relate on the lethargy, sadly! I'm so apathetic some days that it frightens me to tears. I just try to remind myself that the other symptoms have gone away, and that one will too. Grrrr! __________________ 10mg: 5/02 - 8/07 for panic disorder 20mg: 8/07 - 8/08 CBT: 8/07 - 2/08. Recommended! 1 unsuccessful taper in 7/08; went back to 20mg 2008: 8/2: 18.75mg 8/24: 17.25mg 9/28: 16.10mg 10/19: 15mg 11/9: 13.75mg 11/30: 12.5mg 12/21: 11.25mg 2009: 1/11: 10.6mg 2/1: 10mg 2/22: 9.4mg 3/6: 9.2mg (liquid) 3/29: 8.4mg 4/19: 7.6mg 5/10: 6.8mg 5/31: 6.2mg 6/21: 5.6mg 7/12: 5.1mg 8/2: 4.8mg 8/23: 4.4mg 9/13: 4mg 10/4: 3.7mg 10/25: 3.4mg 11/15: 3.1mg

05-30-2009, 09:22 PM	#3
granturissimus Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: Los Angeles, CA Posts: 358	Re: 10 month update im glad your akathesia improved! i've prayed for you. akathesia is really really though. __________________ Yuriy Dec 07 failed lexapro taper... severe OCD+anxiety as withdrawal Mar 08 started 200mg zoloft... severe weightloss Apr 08 started paxil 60mg... severe depression+hairloss May 08 started lexapro 20mg... severe akathisia Dec 08 started celexa 60mg... most stable Found PP Celexa -01/07 40 -01/23 30 -02/13 25 -03/06 20 -03/27 18 -04/17 16 -05/08 14 -05/29 12 -06/19 9 -07/03 7 -07/26 6 -08/16 5 -09/07 4.5 -11/13 4.4

05-31-2009, 04:08 AM	#4
Songbird Join Date: May 2007 Location: New Zealand Posts: 7,046	Re: 10 month update I'm glad you got relief from the akathisia, it is hell. I hope you get even more improvement soon. __________________ Jul 01-Feb 02 Aropax Feb - Dec 03 Citalopram Jul 04 Aropax Jan 07 - Feb 08 20mg - 5mg Apr 4.5mg 5mg Jun 10mg zopiclone > seroquel Jul 20mg Aug + methionine Oct aropax > loxamine Dec off seroquel 7 Dec 17.5mg 30 Dec 15mg 24 Jan 12.5mg 16 Feb 10mg 10 May 9mg 30 May 8mg 5 July 7.5mg 2 Aug 7.25mg 1 Sep 7mg 9 Oct 6.75mg 8 Nov 6.5mg Appreciation is the antidote to stress - Trust is the antidote to fear

05-31-2009, 05:53 PM	#5
elixirmonkii Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: Northern California Posts: 396	Re: 10 month update I really cant believe I made it this far without touching a drug to cope. I know that if I would have taken anything, I would have ended up probably setting myself back, because I see it happen often people taking things and getting a few days relief and then ending up worse. I know now the only way is staying off all drugs, and even though it is severely difficult, it is the only way the body will recover from the effects. I have seen many people on here wondering why they are not getting better, or feeling like they are permanently damaged, and keep tossing new drugs into the mix, making things worse. What I really wanted to convey is that the changes last a long time, and I still see people repeating their same mistakes. Not that I dont understand wanting relief because I did and still do, but I also realize that you end up back at square 1 or worse. So, to all who are ready to throw in the towel, I guess I can vouch that what the body really needs is time to heal, and not introducing new synthetic substances into it that it has to process. It is still uncomfortable, and I still cannot believe the length of time involved in recovering, but I will continue the battle, and hope everyone else will see the benefits of avoiding drugs. __________________ Prior to fluoxetine, I ingested a few MAOI cocktails, and had used various stimulants (ephedra) years ago. This is likely why I reacted so badly to this drug. 7/14/08 - Severe reaction to Prozac & Ativan! 7/15/08 - Discontinued all meds! First 4 months: Extreme Derealization/DP Extreme agitation & akathisia Unable to understand people Mind racing faster than I could think. Severe negative thoughts Now: Constant restlessness inside, anxiety & agitation, and anhedonia.

05-31-2009, 06:30 PM	#6
Toby 4 ever Join Date: Feb 2009 Posts: 132	Re: 10 month update I am so happy to hear this update elixir - I know how relieved you must feel to finally see some progress - I too had a subtle shift at the 10 month mark - the intensity of the anxiety lessened some and a lot of the foggy/depersonaliztion got better as well. I still have the anxiety issues and a lot of body pain which I hope will lessen in the coming months. Hang in there - you are turning a corner.... Toby __________________ 10 mg prozac 1994-2006 for menopause symptoms weaned over the course of 2007 with minimal problem June 2008 took 3 prozac due to nasty job stress had severe adverse reaction/kindling effect prescribed propanolol for bp and anxiety - big mistake stopped all meds July 2008... the 'storm' has passed but it is still raining....

06-01-2009, 02:35 PM	#7
elixirmonkii Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: Northern California Posts: 396	Re: 10 month update Toby, your adverse reaction sounds like it was around the time period mine was? How far out are you right now. I still have nerve pain though it is very minor. I find the anxiety is the most uncomfortable, and also the anhedonia is there, so it feels like I'm just constantly lethargic and dont get excited over anything or want to do anything. I notice I still wake up shaky in the mornings, however now it only lasts a few minutes, so it seems to be improving. Still get some shortness of breath too, from the anxiety effect I presume. I guess I shouldn't complain because its not even month 11, so i guess we will see how things develop. __________________ Prior to fluoxetine, I ingested a few MAOI cocktails, and had used various stimulants (ephedra) years ago. This is likely why I reacted so badly to this drug. 7/14/08 - Severe reaction to Prozac & Ativan! 7/15/08 - Discontinued all meds! First 4 months: Extreme Derealization/DP Extreme agitation & akathisia Unable to understand people Mind racing faster than I could think. Severe negative thoughts Now: Constant restlessness inside, anxiety & agitation, and anhedonia.

06-01-2009, 03:05 PM	#8
Aeroman Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: Southern California Posts: 572	Re: 10 month update Welcome to the Anhedonia Club. Just hang tight. Thats great the worst is behind you and we hope this continues for you. See ya on MSN __________________ - 2004 (1 year) Prozac use - mid 2005 - Feb 27, 2008 (2.5yrs) --> 10mg of Lexapro & Wellbutrin XL 300mg - 1 month Lexapro Taper (10mg --> 5mg for two weeks, then 5mg every other day for two weeks, done). TOO FAST, thanks DOC. - C/T Wellbutrin March 2008 - End of Month 3, rebound depression, intense anxiety, restlessness, insomnia, loss of appetite, weight loss, low back pain, lightheaded...the fun must end sometime! Aeroman aka Juan

06-01-2009, 03:15 PM	#9
Toby 4 ever Join Date: Feb 2009 Posts: 132	Re: 10 month update elixir - I am 11 months out and doing about the same as you are BUT the depression is lifting - before this I had to 'fake' doing anything and the accompanying anxiety was awful - now I can get out and do things and even forget w/d for a short time - I struggle daily with horrid back spasms and some numbness and tingling as well. I am on MSN also - pm me if you ever want to chat! Thinking back to the depths of hell I was in a few months ago makes me focus on the progress I have made - sometimes this is harder to do than others. curious - what do you mean by 'nerve pain'? __________________ 10 mg prozac 1994-2006 for menopause symptoms weaned over the course of 2007 with minimal problem June 2008 took 3 prozac due to nasty job stress had severe adverse reaction/kindling effect prescribed propanolol for bp and anxiety - big mistake stopped all meds July 2008... the 'storm' has passed but it is still raining....

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