11 month update

whalebale · 06-30-2009, 10:35 PM

hello everyone

to the day it has been 11 months, or 334 days since my last dose of paxil. I am feeling good and am feeling fully recovered. its not set in stone though i am just barely feeling fully recovered within the last month, I will have another update in a month at my 1 year anniversary off paxil to let everyone know how everything is.

lately though Ive had strange brain sensations that have led me to sanity. I have felt holes in my mind being filled,zaps that connect things together and on top of that some kind of liquid drainage in my mind that i have to spit out or swallow. about 11 months ago i can say my largest complaint was feeling completely empty in my mind, absolutely nothing there it felt like, today i can proudly say i have the opposite sensation, my mind feels completely full, i can feel the energies inside my mind and have them go anywhere i want (meditation technique). i couldn't do that in the beginning of withdrawal, i was met with blank and empty spaces that scared the living **** out of me and also had the most disgusting pathetic blank stare/gaze which is also completely healed.

if i was to describe the sensations ive felt in the past month many of you would think i was crazy,oh well, many of you know that i have complained about the prefrontal cortex, this went on around my 9 months off because it literally felt empty, within this last month and even more recently as this week, i have felt hundreds of connections taking place and all kinds of sensations within my mind that have ultimately led me to being able to critically think for the first time since before i ever took the damn drug!
granted, its not ultra powerful yet, but my whole mind seems healthily sturdy and i know that if ive come this far than there's nothing stopping me from achieving perfection. in these empty spaces ive felt in my mind i noticed that if i focused my energy in that particular place i would help stimulate activity.

in the social department i have no friends, i have many old friends from my past that i can reconnect with at any time but dont want to quite yet, i want to reconnect and make new friends when i am 200% and can enjoy the relationship completely. over the past 11 months i have hid myself from all my friends and acquaintances because i was in terrible condition and i didnt want to constantly be in a bad mood around them, which would just bring them down. In the social department im going to give myself another month to see if this is the real deal, and by then ill be a year off and hopefully ready to start hanging out with friends and dating again!

gina3840 · 06-30-2009, 10:53 PM

I wish you all the very best as getting off this poison is an incredible challenge. Keep positive and be kind to yourself as you are winning the battle with each passing day.

pokie · 06-30-2009, 11:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by whalebale

hello everyone

to the day it has been 11 months, or 334 days since my last dose of paxil. I am feeling good and am feeling fully recovered. its not set in stone though i am just barely feeling fully recovered within the last month, I will have another update in a month at my 1 year anniversary off paxil to let everyone know how everything is.

lately though Ive had strange brain sensations that have led me to sanity. I have felt holes in my mind being filled,zaps that connect things together and on top of that some kind of liquid drainage in my mind that i have to spit out or swallow. about 11 months ago i can say my largest complaint was feeling completely empty in my mind, absolutely nothing there it felt like, today i can proudly say i have the opposite sensation, my mind feels completely full, i can feel the energies inside my mind and have them go anywhere i want (meditation technique). i couldn't do that in the beginning of withdrawal, i was met with blank and empty spaces that scared the living **** out of me and also had the most disgusting pathetic blank stare/gaze which is also completely healed.

if i was to describe the sensations ive felt in the past month many of you would think i was crazy,oh well, many of you know that i have complained about the prefrontal cortex, this went on around my 9 months off because it literally felt empty, within this last month and even more recently as this week, i have felt hundreds of connections taking place and all kinds of sensations within my mind that have ultimately led me to being able to critically think for the first time since before i ever took the damn drug!
granted, its not ultra powerful yet, but my whole mind seems healthily sturdy and i know that if ive come this far than there's nothing stopping me from achieving perfection. in these empty spaces ive felt in my mind i noticed that if i focused my energy in that particular place i would help stimulate activity.

in the social department i have no friends, i have many old friends from my past that i can reconnect with at any time but dont want to quite yet, i want to reconnect and make new friends when i am 200% and can enjoy the relationship completely. over the past 11 months i have hid myself from all my friends and acquaintances because i was in terrible condition and i didnt want to constantly be in a bad mood around them, which would just bring them down. In the social department im going to give myself another month to see if this is the real deal, and by then ill be a year off and hopefully ready to start hanging out with friends and dating again!

Sabastion,
We are so proud of you and thanks for the phone convo's.
Pokie

whalebale · 06-30-2009, 11:30 PM

thank you gina i will keep my chin up, pokie i enjoy talking to you on the phone, i like the whale!

granturissimus · 07-01-2009, 02:10 PM

congrats on your recovery... lucky you.

granturissimus · 07-01-2009, 03:23 PM

by the way, what withdrawal symptoms did you have when you quit pills?

whalebale · 07-01-2009, 03:59 PM

i cant remember all my symptoms that i had, i have them listed in some of my earliest posts, but off the top of my head i remember having sever derealization, emptiness in my mind, brain shocks, odd brain sensations, screwed up perception, personality change, depression, delusional ideas, odd thinking patterns, short attention span, no memory, confusion.

alivehope · 07-01-2009, 05:02 PM

It's great that you are doing good. To what extent do you feel emotions at the moment? good luck.

whalebale · 07-01-2009, 06:04 PM

thanks, i dont think emotional blunting was ever a problem for me other than when i was on paxil i was a zombie, but now i feel all emotions no problem.

Jess_Reyna · 07-01-2009, 06:35 PM

{{Big Congrats Hugs}}!! I'm so glad you are doing so good. It gives us all hope.

06-30-2009, 10:35 PM	#1
whalebale Join Date: Nov 2008 Posts: 493	11 month update hello everyone to the day it has been 11 months, or 334 days since my last dose of paxil. I am feeling good and am feeling fully recovered. its not set in stone though i am just barely feeling fully recovered within the last month, I will have another update in a month at my 1 year anniversary off paxil to let everyone know how everything is. lately though Ive had strange brain sensations that have led me to sanity. I have felt holes in my mind being filled,zaps that connect things together and on top of that some kind of liquid drainage in my mind that i have to spit out or swallow. about 11 months ago i can say my largest complaint was feeling completely empty in my mind, absolutely nothing there it felt like, today i can proudly say i have the opposite sensation, my mind feels completely full, i can feel the energies inside my mind and have them go anywhere i want (meditation technique). i couldn't do that in the beginning of withdrawal, i was met with blank and empty spaces that scared the living ** out of me and also had the most disgusting pathetic blank stare/gaze which is also completely healed. if i was to describe the sensations ive felt in the past month many of you would think i was crazy,oh well, many of you know that i have complained about the prefrontal cortex, this went on around my 9 months off because it literally felt empty, within this last month and even more recently as this week, i have felt hundreds of connections taking place and all kinds of sensations within my mind that have ultimately led me to being able to critically think for the first time since before i ever took the damn drug! granted, its not ultra powerful yet, but my whole mind seems healthily sturdy and i know that if ive come this far than there's nothing stopping me from achieving perfection. in these empty spaces ive felt in my mind i noticed that if i focused my energy in that particular place i would help stimulate activity. in the social department i have no friends, i have many old friends from my past that i can reconnect with at any time but dont want to quite yet, i want to reconnect and make new friends when i am 200% and can enjoy the relationship completely. over the past 11 months i have hid myself from all my friends and acquaintances because i was in terrible condition and i didnt want to constantly be in a bad mood around them, which would just bring them down. In the social department im going to give myself another month to see if this is the real deal, and by then ill be a year off and hopefully ready to start hanging out with friends and dating again! __________________ Started Paxil Feb 2008 Became Manic in March and Took LSD Twice (4 hits total) while manic Tapered off Paxil in July 2008 Paxil Free as of August 1 2008** RIGHT NOW its all good

06-30-2009, 10:53 PM	#2
gina3840 Join Date: Jul 2008 Posts: 29	Re: 11 month update I wish you all the very best as getting off this poison is an incredible challenge. Keep positive and be kind to yourself as you are winning the battle with each passing day. __________________ ******************* Attempted paxil tapering August 2008, back to 20 mg 10 mg 4/17/09 5 mg 5/9/09 3 mg 5/30/09 1 mg 6/13/09 Zero!!! 6/27/09

06-30-2009, 11:30 PM	#4
whalebale Join Date: Nov 2008 Posts: 493	Re: 11 month update thank you gina i will keep my chin up, pokie i enjoy talking to you on the phone, i like the whale! __________________ Started Paxil Feb 2008 Became Manic in March and Took LSD Twice (4 hits total) while manic Tapered off Paxil in July 2008 Paxil Free as of August 1 2008 RIGHT NOW its all good Last edited by whalebale : 06-30-2009 at 11:34 PM. Reason: adding attachment

07-01-2009, 02:10 PM	#5
granturissimus Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: Los Angeles, CA Posts: 358	Re: 11 month update congrats on your recovery... lucky you. __________________ Yuriy Dec 07 failed lexapro taper... severe OCD+anxiety as withdrawal Mar 08 started 200mg zoloft... severe weightloss Apr 08 started paxil 60mg... severe depression+hairloss May 08 started lexapro 20mg... severe akathisia Dec 08 started celexa 60mg... most stable Found PP Celexa -01/07 40 -01/23 30 -02/13 25 -03/06 20 -03/27 18 -04/17 16 -05/08 14 -05/29 12 -06/19 9 -07/03 7 -07/26 6 -08/16 5 -09/07 4.5 -11/13 4.4

07-01-2009, 03:23 PM	#6
granturissimus Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: Los Angeles, CA Posts: 358	Re: 11 month update by the way, what withdrawal symptoms did you have when you quit pills? __________________ Yuriy Dec 07 failed lexapro taper... severe OCD+anxiety as withdrawal Mar 08 started 200mg zoloft... severe weightloss Apr 08 started paxil 60mg... severe depression+hairloss May 08 started lexapro 20mg... severe akathisia Dec 08 started celexa 60mg... most stable Found PP Celexa -01/07 40 -01/23 30 -02/13 25 -03/06 20 -03/27 18 -04/17 16 -05/08 14 -05/29 12 -06/19 9 -07/03 7 -07/26 6 -08/16 5 -09/07 4.5 -11/13 4.4

07-01-2009, 03:59 PM	#7
whalebale Join Date: Nov 2008 Posts: 493	Re: 11 month update i cant remember all my symptoms that i had, i have them listed in some of my earliest posts, but off the top of my head i remember having sever derealization, emptiness in my mind, brain shocks, odd brain sensations, screwed up perception, personality change, depression, delusional ideas, odd thinking patterns, short attention span, no memory, confusion. __________________ Started Paxil Feb 2008 Became Manic in March and Took LSD Twice (4 hits total) while manic Tapered off Paxil in July 2008 Paxil Free as of August 1 2008 RIGHT NOW its all good

07-01-2009, 05:02 PM	#8
alivehope Join Date: Oct 2008 Posts: 351	Re: 11 month update It's great that you are doing good. To what extent do you feel emotions at the moment? good luck. __________________ Paxil For S.A Prozac on withdrawal " felt worse " Paxil-free since 11/7/08 " CT a low dose " 4 years of being on and off Paxil ( 2004-2008 ) Presistent Withdrawal Symptoms OCD ANHEDONIA BRAIN FOG Caffeine sensitivity " induces Insomnia and anxiety " Supplements sensitivity Fatique Muscle tiffness " unability to relax " Apathy

07-01-2009, 06:04 PM	#9
whalebale Join Date: Nov 2008 Posts: 493	Re: 11 month update thanks, i dont think emotional blunting was ever a problem for me other than when i was on paxil i was a zombie, but now i feel all emotions no problem. __________________ Started Paxil Feb 2008 Became Manic in March and Took LSD Twice (4 hits total) while manic Tapered off Paxil in July 2008 Paxil Free as of August 1 2008 RIGHT NOW its all good

07-01-2009, 06:35 PM	#10
Jess_Reyna Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: California Posts: 298	Re: 11 month update {{Big Congrats Hugs}}!! I'm so glad you are doing so good. It gives us all hope. __________________ One failed attempt-Tapered way to fast Found Paxil Progress December 19, 2008 Back on 20 mg tablets February 5, 2009 18 mg-Switched to liquid-Here we go! February 26, 2009 16.2 mg March 19, 2009 14.6 mg April 9, 2009 13.2 mg May 7, 2009 12 mg May 28, 2009 11 mg June 18, 2009 10 mg July 14, 2009 9 mg August 4, 2009 8.1 mg August 26, 2009 7.6 mg September 16, 2009 7 mg October 7, 2009 6.4 mg October 28, 2009 6 mg November 18, 2009 5.6 mg

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