when will i get some positive emotions back?

nice bloke · 07-01-2009, 04:42 AM

last night i went round to a friend's house. he and his new wife have just come back from their honeymoon. it was a bit emotional for me as my girlfriend broke up with me about 2 months ago all because of paxil withdrawal. anyway i got a bit tearful and they were very understanding etc. then they showed me a few photos from their holiday and a couple of them were very amusing, somehow my friend's face in them, or rather his features, had got distorted. i found myself laughing and they were laughing too which increased my laughter. but while i was laughing i realised that i wasnt actually feeling it. on the outside i was laughing but my brain just wasnt sensing it. how can i cry for hours on end and feel pain, anxiety, fear, despair, but not positive emotion? it was a very scary thing to happen. i have read things about anhedonia in withdrawal and thought that i suffered from it to some extent, but to be laughing like that and just feel like your brain is numb is extremely disconcerting.

leo79 · 07-01-2009, 10:30 AM

yeah I have this. It all feels fake to do these things like laughing or being positive or whatever I used to do when things were ok. I'm wondering if it's good to fake it, I think it might be to retrain my brain. Yeah it's disturbing though isn't it to realise that there is no feedback in your brain to these positive things like laughing. Even smiling feels strange to me.

anjopom · 07-01-2009, 11:02 AM

Hey Nice Guy,

I know exactly what you mean, and all very normal in withdrawal, know you are not alone, its always the negative emotions and thoughts that come back first, life sucks eh, but you know one day real soon, all of the good things are going to come flooding back to you, promise, dont worry, it will happen, just a matter of time.

Anjopom

Cayte · 07-01-2009, 11:52 AM

Well I find that I can laugh a lot..and cry a lot.
It's the in-between bits that are difficult?

Songbird · 07-01-2009, 11:48 PM

I believe that faking it does help to retrain the brain. I believe the positive emotions will come back eventually, I can't say when. But when you say 'I found myself laughing' that sounds like you did it spontaneously rather than having to force it.

Jackson · 07-02-2009, 02:11 AM

Nice Bloke I am with you here.

Even though I'm "only" 8 months out, what you are describing sounds exactly like me. If I watch a movie or comedy show then I can laugh because it's funny. But it's more like on a logical level, more than emotional. I do the laugh, and in my brain it's funny, but it doesn't "feel" funny, or feel good. No positive emotions.

I honestly believe it will subside one day, once that area of the brain is fully "re-activated", so to speak.

whalebale · 07-02-2009, 03:07 AM

jackson that is the best way to describe laughter in withdrawal and towards the end of it, slowly much later on happiness and joy is felt in laughter

07-01-2009, 04:42 AM	#1
nice bloke Join Date: Apr 2008 Posts: 314	when will i get some positive emotions back? last night i went round to a friend's house. he and his new wife have just come back from their honeymoon. it was a bit emotional for me as my girlfriend broke up with me about 2 months ago all because of paxil withdrawal. anyway i got a bit tearful and they were very understanding etc. then they showed me a few photos from their holiday and a couple of them were very amusing, somehow my friend's face in them, or rather his features, had got distorted. i found myself laughing and they were laughing too which increased my laughter. but while i was laughing i realised that i wasnt actually feeling it. on the outside i was laughing but my brain just wasnt sensing it. how can i cry for hours on end and feel pain, anxiety, fear, despair, but not positive emotion? it was a very scary thing to happen. i have read things about anhedonia in withdrawal and thought that i suffered from it to some extent, but to be laughing like that and just feel like your brain is numb is extremely disconcerting. __________________ 1995 - 1997 seroxat 20-40mg quit ct 1999 - 2001 citalopram 20 - 40mg 2001 -2004 (march) seroxat 20mg ct'ed in 2004 2004 (august) - 2007 (august) seroxat 20mg - another ct due to ignorance followed by a myriad of physical and mental torture september 2008 - valium 5mg february 2009 - valium 10 mg sometimes more july 2009 to september - abilify 5mg, stopped due to cardiac arrythmias september 2009 - olanzapine 5mg and remeron 15mg tapering valium, now 8.5mg

07-01-2009, 10:30 AM	#2
leo79 Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Sheffield, UK Posts: 1,388	Re: when will i get some positive emotions back? yeah I have this. It all feels fake to do these things like laughing or being positive or whatever I used to do when things were ok. I'm wondering if it's good to fake it, I think it might be to retrain my brain. Yeah it's disturbing though isn't it to realise that there is no feedback in your brain to these positive things like laughing. Even smiling feels strange to me. __________________ Poisoned by SSRIs.

07-01-2009, 11:02 AM	#3
anjopom Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 1,548	Re: when will i get some positive emotions back? Hey Nice Guy, I know exactly what you mean, and all very normal in withdrawal, know you are not alone, its always the negative emotions and thoughts that come back first, life sucks eh, but you know one day real soon, all of the good things are going to come flooding back to you, promise, dont worry, it will happen, just a matter of time. Anjopom __________________ medicated by doctor for grief. 15th Jan 1997 -Nov 2005 30mg paxil, c/t off by doctor. Dec 05, prozac 20mg, propranelol and 10mg Diazepam. March o6 c/t - doctor. April 06 -Nov 07 20mg paxil, Nov 07 - 18mg, dec 07 -16mg, jan 08 - 14mg, feb -12mg, mar -10mg,jul -9mg,aug -8.5mg,oct -8mg,nov -7.5mg,dec 08-7mg, jan09-6.5mg,feb-6mg, 1st mar-5.5mg,end mar -5mg,apr-4.2mg,CRASHED, may-5mg, aug-4.5mg,sept-3.8mg, oct-3.2mg, oct - 2.8mg, nov, 2.2mg. Currently taking 300mg magnesium!!!!!

07-01-2009, 11:52 AM	#4
Cayte Join Date: Aug 2006 Posts: 4,320	Re: when will i get some positive emotions back? Well I find that I can laugh a lot..and cry a lot. It's the in-between bits that are difficult? __________________ Anti-deps since summer 1990. 12 years of Paxil....Quick taper from Aug-Nov 2006. (Not recommended). I struggle if I'm being honest. Still small benzo dosage to tackle. July'09 From 2.5mg- @ 2mg ( hot) now @1.75mg just horrid! After nearly 3 years free....August '09 on 20mg Prozac... VERY disappointed! 'Sometimes you have to be lost to understand yourself!'

07-01-2009, 11:48 PM	#5
Songbird Join Date: May 2007 Location: New Zealand Posts: 7,046	Re: when will i get some positive emotions back? I believe that faking it does help to retrain the brain. I believe the positive emotions will come back eventually, I can't say when. But when you say 'I found myself laughing' that sounds like you did it spontaneously rather than having to force it. __________________ Jul 01-Feb 02 Aropax Feb - Dec 03 Citalopram Jul 04 Aropax Jan 07 - Feb 08 20mg - 5mg Apr 4.5mg 5mg Jun 10mg zopiclone > seroquel Jul 20mg Aug + methionine Oct aropax > loxamine Dec off seroquel 7 Dec 17.5mg 30 Dec 15mg 24 Jan 12.5mg 16 Feb 10mg 10 May 9mg 30 May 8mg 5 July 7.5mg 2 Aug 7.25mg 1 Sep 7mg 9 Oct 6.75mg 8 Nov 6.5mg Appreciation is the antidote to stress - Trust is the antidote to fear

07-02-2009, 02:11 AM	#6
Jackson Join Date: Apr 2009 Posts: 137	Re: when will i get some positive emotions back? Nice Bloke I am with you here. Even though I'm "only" 8 months out, what you are describing sounds exactly like me. If I watch a movie or comedy show then I can laugh because it's funny. But it's more like on a logical level, more than emotional. I do the laugh, and in my brain it's funny, but it doesn't "feel" funny, or feel good. No positive emotions. I honestly believe it will subside one day, once that area of the brain is fully "re-activated", so to speak.

07-02-2009, 03:07 AM	#7
whalebale Join Date: Nov 2008 Posts: 493	Re: when will i get some positive emotions back? jackson that is the best way to describe laughter in withdrawal and towards the end of it, slowly much later on happiness and joy is felt in laughter __________________ Started Paxil Feb 2008 Became Manic in March and Took LSD Twice (4 hits total) while manic Tapered off Paxil in July 2008 Paxil Free as of August 1 2008 RIGHT NOW its all good

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