my story - am i getting there???

[kenny84]

rite guys here is my story

i went to the doctor in oct 08 saying i was doubting my relationship with my girlfreind. I was felt derpessed by this. a few weeks later i was put on citalopram 20mg.

I must point out here that at night times i was able to break free from all of this until i started taking the ADs. Any good time started to get less and i lost my sex drive (which made me scared i was gay).

I then found out that i was doing things whoch fitted in the OCD braket - doubting relationships - scared i was gay.

The gay thing didnt start until i started the tablets and go worse as time went on. I told my doctor that this and he told me that he had never heard of that and i should keep taking them.i was swicthed to 10mg cipralex. Then in january i had had enough and stopped taking them CT. My doctor told me it was fine to do so as i wasnt taking a large emount.

Since then i have had a reduction in those thoughts and even got a bit of a buzz feeling back around girls but i lost that again. I also have problems concentrating and remembering things. I also dont get a positive feeling from basic things such as watching football, music , driving, training. I also am not aware really of the time of year, day or months it is. You know the feeling the weekend brings.

Is this classified as withdrawal symptoms??? I have taked to doctors about it and they told me the standrad 2-3 weeks is all you have it for. Its been like 6 months since i stopped. And it is my OCD which is doing it.

i must point out that even before all of this i did have OCD tendancies but never admitted them.

I have improved since january, i am now able to go and work and dont lie about all day. I also have trained a bit more and finished my dergree (just about). My girlfreind has said she ntoices me doing things i havent done in a good while - i can hold my temper and am playing practical jokes again!

What i really want to know about all of this is:

does this sound firmilar?
does it get better?
Is is permanent?
Am im improving more than i think i am?

I just want clairty again and the ability to look forward and not back at this awful time

Cheers


Kenny

[carolyn]

It does sound familiar!
It does get better!
It's not permanent!
You probably are improving more than you see. Remember that your girlfriend is noticing little things.

It sounds like you're doing great and can recognize the irrational thoughts for what they are -- thoughts, and nothing more.

The brain fuzz will get better. The good news is that you weren't on for very long (October 2008 to January 2009, right?) so the withdrawal -- while present, unfortunately -- will hopefully keep going away quickly.

Oh, and welcome!

[altostrata]

Originally Posted by kenny84

...I also dont get a positive feeling from basic things such as watching football, music , driving, training. I also am not aware really of the time of year, day or months it is. You know the feeling the weekend brings....

Many of us have experienced emotional blunting from withdrawal syndrome, as well as sexual dysfunction.

Some people have found withdrawal makes OCD symptoms worse.

It does get better. It sounds like you're on the right track.

Your doctors are wrong. Very few know anything about withdrawal syndrome. You might tell them about this site. They might read it and get educated.

[Jess_Reyna]

I totally agree with Carolyn. I know it can be scary not feeling like yourself but it will get better. Just take care of yourself and be patient. It might take some time but you'll get there.

[Songbird]

It does sound like you are doing well! Cold turkey off 10mg can often cause bad w/d problems but I think since you were not on it long you haven't been affected as badly as some. Not to minimise your problems, but it can be a lot worse. Deciding to get off the drug was a good decision, although normally we recommend tapering off it slowly.

Your doctors are very misinformed thinking w/d problems last only 3 weeks! All the problems you describe sound very familiar to us. The problems you do have should improve with time, your girlfriend noticing improvements in you already is a very good sign. I believe more improvements will happen for you soon.

[kenny84]

cheers guys:

yes you are correct in saying im was only on them for 3 months. Im trying to only go on this site a few times a week.

I am working now again after finishing university which is a positive. The job itself is installing pcs onto networks so i can get away with it since i am firmilar with it all from university. i cant really remeber all the instructions but they are on paper so i can just refer back when i need.

Would i be right in saying that everyone is seraching for a sense of relief?? i know from my point of view that is what i am wanting to feel.

It has been nearly 6 months since i stopped and at first i was just feeling dead inside and could really do anything at all. At least now i am getting up at the same time every morning and goin to work, then helping my girlfriend with work in her new house.

Thanks for giving me encouragement. I just want to be able to have a full set of emotions to be able to enjoy myself.

I know that i have improved lately because i am a fairly witty guy which seemed to vanish while on the tablets. My quick one liners are returning which is good for me but bad for the people who have to listen to them!

Kenny

[Songbird]

I'm sure everyone really loves your one liners! Glad things have improved and I'm sure more improvement is on its way.

[pokie]

Originally Posted by kenny84

cheers guys:

yes you are correct in saying im was only on them for 3 months. Im trying to only go on this site a few times a week.

I am working now again after finishing university which is a positive. The job itself is installing pcs onto networks so i can get away with it since i am firmilar with it all from university. i cant really remeber all the instructions but they are on paper so i can just refer back when i need.

Would i be right in saying that everyone is seraching for a sense of relief?? i know from my point of view that is what i am wanting to feel.

It has been nearly 6 months since i stopped and at first i was just feeling dead inside and could really do anything at all. At least now i am getting up at the same time every morning and goin to work, then helping my girlfriend with work in her new house.

Thanks for giving me encouragement. I just want to be able to have a full set of emotions to be able to enjoy myself.

I know that i have improved lately because i am a fairly witty guy which seemed to vanish while on the tablets. My quick one liners are returning which is good for me but bad for the people who have to listen to them!

Kenny

Kenny,
I am happy that you are back with your girlfriend!!! This stuff ruins relationships!!!!!
Pokie

[kenny84]

Originally Posted by pokie

Kenny,
I am happy that you are back with your girlfriend!!! This stuff ruins relationships!!!!!
Pokie

well we never split up so thats a good thing but there are no silly arguements now which i caused over the last few months, so thats good too.

Also another question:

I am struggling to get the feelings of day to day life, like what day it is is, doesnt feel like july to me, the time of dayetc .

what is this classified as and has anyone else had this???

kenny

[pokie]

Originally Posted by kenny84

well we never split up so thats a good thing but there are no silly arguements now which i caused over the last few months, so thats good too.

Also another question:

I am struggling to get the feelings of day to day life, like what day it is is, doesnt feel like july to me, the time of dayetc .

what is this classified as and has anyone else had this???

kenny

I have the same feeling let me know when you find out.
Pokie