I lost my job

Sparrow84 · 11-19-2009, 08:21 AM

I lost my job. She cited my lack of focus and errors in data entry as the problem. I feel like a failure.

scotia21 · 11-19-2009, 08:33 AM

Oh Sparrow - I am so sorry. You are NOT a failure you are just in recovery mode from the meds. Will you qualify for unemployment? That might give you some time to start to feel better.

Norma · 11-19-2009, 03:30 PM

Your not a failure. Paxil is. Just wish the drug makers would admit it...

luc · 11-19-2009, 04:22 PM

Oh, Sparrow! You're NOT a failure! It's the damn drug. The DRUG! NOT you. I know first hand how much less cognitive abilities you lose on the drug and then when in withdrawal. Don't give up! It's the drug's fault not yours! I'm so sorry to hear about your losing your job. I'm sure this would not have happened if your mind wasn't so opressed because of the withdrawal. It will get better. Hang in there!

babs · 11-19-2009, 04:24 PM

Big ((HUGS)) to you. It's not your fault.

Sparrow84 · 11-19-2009, 04:59 PM

Thanks so much everyone. I really appreciate all the support. I'm trying to figure out where to go from here. I don't know whether to start pounding the pavement looking for another job, or wait and see if I can see some more recovery before I start again. I just hate having a gap in my resume.

Songbird · 11-19-2009, 05:07 PM

You're not a failure and this isn't your fault. Have you thought of trying to find something different for a while that is less cognitively demanding? Be kind to yourself, remind yourself this is only temporary.

jule1 · 11-19-2009, 05:10 PM

Sparrow I am SO sorry. I almost wish that Withdrawal Syndrome was acknowledged in the medical profession so you could sue their @$$#$ off!

Hang in there. When one door closes.....

scotty · 11-19-2009, 05:55 PM

Take some time for you, if you can do it financially. In todays economy a gap in a resume isn't as big as it used to be.

Sparrow84 · 11-19-2009, 06:20 PM

Thanks so much for the encouragement everyone. I am going to try for unemployment and see if I can either find something that isn't as cognitively demanding or just volunteer in the meantime at some non-profits that interest me like the Nature Conservancy. That way it isn't so many hours, and I won't feel that intense pressure to perform. I have been able to move back in with my parents so that is at least somewhat of a relief. This whole thing is just unbelievable. I really underestimated the power of these drugs, and I am just kicking myself.

Songbird · 11-19-2009, 06:51 PM

Don't kick yourself, that might hurt! We all underestimated what these drugs could to to us. Great that your parents can help look after you for a while. I'm sure you will get through this and out the other side and things will be better again.

matthew T · 11-19-2009, 07:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sparrow84

Thanks so much for the encouragement everyone. I am going to try for unemployment and see if I can either find something that isn't as cognitively demanding or just volunteer in the meantime at some non-profits that interest me like the Nature Conservancy. That way it isn't so many hours, and I won't feel that intense pressure to perform. I have been able to move back in with my parents so that is at least somewhat of a relief. This whole thing is just unbelievable. I really underestimated the power of these drugs, and I am just kicking myself.

your amazing, you lost a job, feel like sh...t and are willing to volunteer.

that says tons about your character

scared36 · 11-19-2009, 07:05 PM

you are a strong person keep moving on you will get though this

mike

Charlie · 11-19-2009, 07:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sparrow84

I really underestimated the power of these drugs

I'd bet most people here would say the same thing. Get the unemployment if you can and use the time to heal and to find something you're interested in.

As everyone else has pointed out it's the drugs.

Toby 4 ever · 11-19-2009, 09:37 PM

Sparrrow - I am so sorry - Charlie is right - use this time to heal and you will find your way again - big hugs to you!

Cosette123 · 11-20-2009, 02:04 AM

Sparrow I am so sorry and sad for you...I do hope ypu will pass through and remember you are not a failure. I feel angry against these drugs which destroyed our lives but we are stronger than them.

Si in Wales · 11-20-2009, 04:23 AM

Sorry to hear that mate. Sounds like your boss wasn't the most understanding of people - maybe someone should educate her.

I wanted to say a big "Yes" to voluntary work. It'll fill the gap in the resume, give you a sense of purpose without the stress of knowing you have to perform and may even lead you down some interesting new avenues.

2 things - doing voluntary work basically saved me at a time when I had convinced myself I was a useless lazy person who was a waste of air. I would not have my current job (rewarding, but not well paid) if I hadn't done that work. Also, I got myself into a desperate tangle in a job about 7 years ago - things were so bad that I quit. I never thought I could recover from it, but I can now reflect on it and understand how it happened. It didn't "break" me.

Take care and good luck.

Si

westeewoman · 11-20-2009, 07:11 AM

Sparrow, job loss HURTS, but you are healing, your parents are supportive. Your idea of finding a volunteer job is great. You deserve to feel appreciated and useful!

Hugs

LCrawford67 · 11-20-2009, 09:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by westeewoman

Sparrow, job loss HURTS, but you are healing, your parents are supportive. Your idea of finding a volunteer job is great. You deserve to feel appreciated and useful!

Hugs

Ditto! Best of luck to you!

anjopom · 11-20-2009, 09:51 AM

Sparrow,

Im so sorry buddy, but you know, as one door closes., another one opens, use your time out to heal and then, who knows whats round the corner, something better probably, chin up

Sparrow84 · 11-20-2009, 03:29 PM

You guys are the best. I can't tell you what it means to me to have so much support and encouragement. You guys are so sweet. I think that I will see if I can pick myself up in the next few days and see if I can at least find some volunteer opportunities. I'm not going to push myself too hard so that I can use this time to recover, but I can at least help others or our environment in some way, and it may lead to some other opportunities eventually.

pboy · 11-20-2009, 04:43 PM

I'm so sorry, but I can vouch for volunteering, it is so rewarding in so many ways. I was volunteering once for a local hospice and it felt great to be a part of something bigger than myself. It was like a little community, everyone treated each other with respect. I wish you all the best.

akaenew · 11-20-2009, 07:54 PM

Sparrow- you are not a failure. I'll repeat what everyone else has said. It is the drugs and the drugs alone. Things are going to only get better for you as you get farther and farther away from taking them. I wish continued healing for you.... the jobs will come and there will be another when you are feeling better. peace to you, akaenew

bengal_daddy · 11-21-2009, 03:29 PM

I have been unemployed for 18 months.

I see it as both a blessing and a negative.

It's been tough, but has given me the time to find the root causes of two mega-deep issues that I would never been able to do otherwise.

How would I have had the time to sleep through withdrawal when it REALLY hits you?

I'm not going to be a hypocrit and say get up and structure your day, cos I don't. But I do urge you to force yourself out and just go for a walk.

I have no car now due to $$$, and so have to walk everywhere. This helps in its own way.

It's like anything in life, you can look at it through "+ glasses" ot "- glasses".

I am am very sorry to hear your news however, and COMPLETELY know how "SEVERE ANHEDONIA, anxiety, brain fog, inability to concentrate, impaired short term memory, trouble sleeping." - feels. Check check check, EVERY SINGLE ONE OF EM!! Its the reason I lost mine. I just wanted to shut my eyes and do nothing all day. The thought of ANY mental effort just exhausted me. I really do feel your pain.

PLEASE try Zinc, and Magnesium if you havn't already. This helped tremendously with the above.

Love,

BD

Sparrow84 · 12-08-2009, 04:55 PM

I haven't been on PP in a few weeks, but I didn't want to forget to thank you, Pboy, Akaenew, and Bengal Daddy for your kind words and suggestions. I'm doing a little better now that I'm not working. I feel slightly less insane most of the time. I am sleeping really well, which actually became somewhat of a problem for a while--sleeping up to 18 hours a day, but I haven't been sleeping well for months so I guess I needed it, or maybe I'm just trying to escape. I go back and forth between the fight to go on and just praying that I won't wake up the next day. Now that I stopped working I have had time to actually look at my face (I wasn't showering for days while working--the only energy I had was put into surviving work), and I can see how this experience has aged me. I have lines in my face from crying that I didn't have before and huge rings under my eyes, not to mention the fact that I've broken out so badly that I look like I have the chicken pox. Not that looks are everything, it's just one more reason I wish this whole thing had never happened. Sorry for the rant. I'm having a very angry moment. Maybe I can put my energy into volunteering and less into anger soon.

I hope everyone is doing well.

11-19-2009, 08:21 AM	#1
Sparrow84 Join Date: Sep 2009 Posts: 111	I lost my job I lost my job. She cited my lack of focus and errors in data entry as the problem. I feel like a failure. __________________ Ritalin since age 6. Various AD's since 2000, mostly Prozac. MARCH 09: Adverse reaction to Lexapro (Prozac was probably still in system at the time I took it) resulting in worsened depression / anxiety. JULY 09: Seroquel 25 mg. Tried to reinstate Prozac 10 mg along with Klonopin .5 mg. Severe adverse reaction after two weeks. No choice but to CT. NOW: Drug free. SEVERE ANHEDONIA, anxiety, brain fog, inability to concentrate, impaired short term memory, trouble sleeping.

11-19-2009, 08:33 AM	#2
scotia21 Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Oklahoma Posts: 5,644	Re: I lost my job Oh Sparrow - I am so sorry. You are NOT a failure you are just in recovery mode from the meds. Will you qualify for unemployment? That might give you some time to start to feel better. __________________ 1/05/07 20mg-17.5 1/20 17.5-15 2/24 15-12.5 3/08 12.5-10 3/29 10-7.5 4/12 7.5-5 6/15 5-3.75 6/30 3.75-2.5 7/28 2.5-1.5ish 8/11 1.5-1 8/25 1- zero "Keep lighting candles, eventually nobody will be in the dark" me "Why is it so hard for everybody to believe that a pill can change brain chemistry for the better but not for the worse?" me "Time does not come in pill form" me

11-19-2009, 03:30 PM	#3
Norma Join Date: Sep 2009 Posts: 89	Re: I lost my job Your not a failure. Paxil is. Just wish the drug makers would admit it...

11-19-2009, 04:22 PM	#4
luc Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: Europe Posts: 638	Re: I lost my job Oh, Sparrow! You're NOT a failure! It's the damn drug. The DRUG! NOT you. I know first hand how much less cognitive abilities you lose on the drug and then when in withdrawal. Don't give up! It's the drug's fault not yours! I'm so sorry to hear about your losing your job. I'm sure this would not have happened if your mind wasn't so opressed because of the withdrawal. It will get better. Hang in there! __________________ 2001-2008: 40mg Paxil+1mg Xanax Xanax c/t in July 2008 Paxil c/t December 2008 Waves and windows pattern. When in a wave: "Why is it taking so long?!" When in a window: "It's been improving, NO DOUBT! "Patience is passion tamed"

11-19-2009, 04:24 PM	#5
babs Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: San Diego, CA Posts: 5,170	Re: I lost my job Big ((HUGS)) to you. It's not your fault. __________________ Babs Paxil 20mg 1994-2005 2 failed attempts to quit Tapered Jan-April 2005 Paxil-free since May 1, 2005 "Glinda the Good Witch informed her that she had the power to go home all along; all she had to do was click her heels together. Why hadn't she told Dorothy that in the first place? Because, explains Glinda, she wouldn't have believed it, she had to learn it for herself."

11-19-2009, 04:59 PM	#6
Sparrow84 Join Date: Sep 2009 Posts: 111	Re: I lost my job Thanks so much everyone. I really appreciate all the support. I'm trying to figure out where to go from here. I don't know whether to start pounding the pavement looking for another job, or wait and see if I can see some more recovery before I start again. I just hate having a gap in my resume. __________________ Ritalin since age 6. Various AD's since 2000, mostly Prozac. MARCH 09: Adverse reaction to Lexapro (Prozac was probably still in system at the time I took it) resulting in worsened depression / anxiety. JULY 09: Seroquel 25 mg. Tried to reinstate Prozac 10 mg along with Klonopin .5 mg. Severe adverse reaction after two weeks. No choice but to CT. NOW: Drug free. SEVERE ANHEDONIA, anxiety, brain fog, inability to concentrate, impaired short term memory, trouble sleeping.

11-19-2009, 05:07 PM	#7
Songbird Join Date: May 2007 Location: New Zealand Posts: 7,532	Re: I lost my job You're not a failure and this isn't your fault. Have you thought of trying to find something different for a while that is less cognitively demanding? Be kind to yourself, remind yourself this is only temporary. __________________ Jul 01-Feb 02 Aropax Feb - Dec 03 Citalopram Jul 04 Aropax Jan 07 - Feb 08 20mg - 5mg Apr 4.5mg 5mg Jun 10mg zopiclone > seroquel Jul 20mg Aug + methionine Oct aropax > loxamine Dec off seroquel 7 Dec 17.5mg 30 Dec 15mg 24 Jan 12.5mg 16 Feb 10mg 10 May 9mg 30 May 8mg 5 July 7.5mg 2 Aug 7.25mg 1 Sep 7mg 9 Oct 6.75mg 8 Nov 6.5mg 18 Dec 6.3mg Appreciation is the antidote to stress - Trust is the antidote to fear

11-19-2009, 05:10 PM	#8
jule1 Join Date: Aug 2009 Posts: 1,328	Re: I lost my job Sparrow I am SO sorry. I almost wish that Withdrawal Syndrome was acknowledged in the medical profession so you could sue their @$$#$ off! Hang in there. When one door closes..... __________________ Was on Effexor (150mg) @January? of 2006 until January 1, 2008. Weaned off over 3 month period with no instructions of weaning from doctor. 24 months off Effexor January 2010 Supplements: Tryptophan, Magnesium, Fish Oil, Calcium D, Inositol, Stress B Complex, Ashwagandha, Progesterone Cream, Vit C .5 mg Xanax at bedtime

11-19-2009, 05:55 PM	#9
scotty Administrator Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: new jersey Posts: 39,329	Re: I lost my job Take some time for you, if you can do it financially. In todays economy a gap in a resume isn't as big as it used to be. __________________ AKA Laurie "If you can find a path with no obstacles, it probably doesn't lead anywhere." ~Frank A. Clark

11-19-2009, 06:20 PM	#10
Sparrow84 Join Date: Sep 2009 Posts: 111	Re: I lost my job Thanks so much for the encouragement everyone. I am going to try for unemployment and see if I can either find something that isn't as cognitively demanding or just volunteer in the meantime at some non-profits that interest me like the Nature Conservancy. That way it isn't so many hours, and I won't feel that intense pressure to perform. I have been able to move back in with my parents so that is at least somewhat of a relief. This whole thing is just unbelievable. I really underestimated the power of these drugs, and I am just kicking myself. __________________ Ritalin since age 6. Various AD's since 2000, mostly Prozac. MARCH 09: Adverse reaction to Lexapro (Prozac was probably still in system at the time I took it) resulting in worsened depression / anxiety. JULY 09: Seroquel 25 mg. Tried to reinstate Prozac 10 mg along with Klonopin .5 mg. Severe adverse reaction after two weeks. No choice but to CT. NOW: Drug free. SEVERE ANHEDONIA, anxiety, brain fog, inability to concentrate, impaired short term memory, trouble sleeping.

11-19-2009, 06:51 PM	#11
Songbird Join Date: May 2007 Location: New Zealand Posts: 7,532	Re: I lost my job Don't kick yourself, that might hurt! We all underestimated what these drugs could to to us. Great that your parents can help look after you for a while. I'm sure you will get through this and out the other side and things will be better again. __________________ Jul 01-Feb 02 Aropax Feb - Dec 03 Citalopram Jul 04 Aropax Jan 07 - Feb 08 20mg - 5mg Apr 4.5mg 5mg Jun 10mg zopiclone > seroquel Jul 20mg Aug + methionine Oct aropax > loxamine Dec off seroquel 7 Dec 17.5mg 30 Dec 15mg 24 Jan 12.5mg 16 Feb 10mg 10 May 9mg 30 May 8mg 5 July 7.5mg 2 Aug 7.25mg 1 Sep 7mg 9 Oct 6.75mg 8 Nov 6.5mg 18 Dec 6.3mg Appreciation is the antidote to stress - Trust is the antidote to fear

11-19-2009, 07:05 PM	#13
scared36 Join Date: Sep 2009 Posts: 50	Re: I lost my job you are a strong person keep moving on you will get though this mike

11-19-2009, 09:37 PM	#15
Toby 4 ever Join Date: Feb 2009 Posts: 151	Re: I lost my job Sparrrow - I am so sorry - Charlie is right - use this time to heal and you will find your way again - big hugs to you! __________________ 10 mg prozac 1994-2006 for menopause symptoms weaned over the course of 2007 with minimal problem June 2008 took 3 prozac due to nasty job stress had severe adverse reaction/kindling effect prescribed propanolol for bp and anxiety - big mistake stopped all meds July 2008... the 'storm' has passed but it is still raining....

11-20-2009, 02:04 AM	#16
Cosette123 Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: France Posts: 181	Re: I lost my job Sparrow I am so sorry and sad for you...I do hope ypu will pass through and remember you are not a failure. I feel angry against these drugs which destroyed our lives but we are stronger than them. __________________ Deroxat (=Paxil) during 10 years. Three unsuccessful atempts to quit. Deroxat free since may 2008 but Cold turkey withdrawal was horrific... Better days are coming slowly!

11-20-2009, 04:23 AM	#17
Si in Wales Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Body in Cardiff UK, heart in Pembrokeshire Posts: 181	Re: I lost my job Sorry to hear that mate. Sounds like your boss wasn't the most understanding of people - maybe someone should educate her. I wanted to say a big "Yes" to voluntary work. It'll fill the gap in the resume, give you a sense of purpose without the stress of knowing you have to perform and may even lead you down some interesting new avenues. 2 things - doing voluntary work basically saved me at a time when I had convinced myself I was a useless lazy person who was a waste of air. I would not have my current job (rewarding, but not well paid) if I hadn't done that work. Also, I got myself into a desperate tangle in a job about 7 years ago - things were so bad that I quit. I never thought I could recover from it, but I can now reflect on it and understand how it happened. It didn't "break" me. Take care and good luck. Si __________________ 1999 - 20mg Seroxat for depression 2003 - up to 40mg (problems at work) 2004 - back to 20mg Spring 2005 - came off tablets quickly. Problems started after 3/4 months Jan 2006 - back on 20mg April 2008 - started a 6 month taper Oct 2008 - free of Seroxat Now - doing OK, but have anxiety and various withdrawal symptoms. Biggest problems are sweating (affects my work) and tinnitus.

11-20-2009, 07:11 AM	#18
westeewoman Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Massachusetts Posts: 1,066	Re: I lost my job Sparrow, job loss HURTS, but you are healing, your parents are supportive. Your idea of finding a volunteer job is great. You deserve to feel appreciated and useful! Hugs __________________ Paxil 1993-1998 poop-out/ct Celexa 1998-2005 poop-out/http: Cymbalta 60 mg July, 2005 last propranolol 15 mg/day April 6, 2007 last Serax 10 mg/day April 6, 2007 Cymbalta 60 mg 8/23/07 to 50.5 mg on 2/24/08 in six drops Cymbalta 49.0mg 3/26/2008 to 40mg 2/6/2009 in nine drops Cymbalta 38.5mg 4/15/2009 Cymbalta 36.0 5/15/2009 Cymbalta 35.6. 9/15/2009[ Cymbalta 35.0 10/15/2009 Cymbalta 33.8 12/1/2009 Cymbalta 32.0 2/1/2010

11-20-2009, 09:51 AM	#20
anjopom Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 1,670	Re: I lost my job Sparrow, Im so sorry buddy, but you know, as one door closes., another one opens, use your time out to heal and then, who knows whats round the corner, something better probably, chin up __________________ medicated by doctor for grief. 15th Jan 1997 -Nov 2005 30mg paxil, c/t off by doctor. Dec 05, prozac 20mg, propranelol and 10mg Diazepam. March o6 c/t - doctor. April 06 -Nov 07 20mg paxil, Nov 07 - 18mg, dec 07 -16mg, jan 08 - 14mg, feb -12mg, mar -10mg,jul -9mg,aug -8.5mg,oct -8mg,nov -7.5mg,dec 08-7mg, jan09-6.5mg,feb-6mg, 1st mar-5.5mg,end mar -5mg,apr-4.2mg,CRASHED, may-5mg, aug-4.5mg,sept3.8mg, oct-3.2mg, oct - 2.8mg, nov, 2.2mg.dec.1.8,dec1.5jAN 1,2MG taking 100mg magnesium!!!!!

11-20-2009, 03:29 PM	#21
Sparrow84 Join Date: Sep 2009 Posts: 111	Re: I lost my job You guys are the best. I can't tell you what it means to me to have so much support and encouragement. You guys are so sweet. I think that I will see if I can pick myself up in the next few days and see if I can at least find some volunteer opportunities. I'm not going to push myself too hard so that I can use this time to recover, but I can at least help others or our environment in some way, and it may lead to some other opportunities eventually. __________________ Ritalin since age 6. Various AD's since 2000, mostly Prozac. MARCH 09: Adverse reaction to Lexapro (Prozac was probably still in system at the time I took it) resulting in worsened depression / anxiety. JULY 09: Seroquel 25 mg. Tried to reinstate Prozac 10 mg along with Klonopin .5 mg. Severe adverse reaction after two weeks. No choice but to CT. NOW: Drug free. SEVERE ANHEDONIA, anxiety, brain fog, inability to concentrate, impaired short term memory, trouble sleeping.

11-20-2009, 04:43 PM	#22
pboy Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: UK Posts: 518	Re: I lost my job I'm so sorry, but I can vouch for volunteering, it is so rewarding in so many ways. I was volunteering once for a local hospice and it felt great to be a part of something bigger than myself. It was like a little community, everyone treated each other with respect. I wish you all the best. __________________ On Lexapro for about 2 months & cold-turkeyed. Had withdrawal so re-instated. Started chopping tablets. Then crushing into juice. 5mg (3 weeks until stabilized) then chopping so unsure how much (2.5 weeks) 4.4mg (4 weeks) 4.2mg (3.5 weeks) 3.8mg (4 weeks 4 days) 3.6mg (3 weeks) Now at 3.26mg I am going to get past this and appreciate life!! If you type google into google, you can actually break The Internet

11-20-2009, 07:54 PM	#23
akaenew Join Date: Sep 2006 Posts: 503	Re: I lost my job Sparrow- you are not a failure. I'll repeat what everyone else has said. It is the drugs and the drugs alone. Things are going to only get better for you as you get farther and farther away from taking them. I wish continued healing for you.... the jobs will come and there will be another when you are feeling better. peace to you, akaenew __________________ Akaenew Paxil since July, 1994 As much as 20mg daily 10mg daily for most of 12 years Alternated 5mg and 7.5mg daily ~ last 2 years 5mg daily June, July 2006 2.5 mg daily couple days end of July Last dose of paxil 7-31-06

11-21-2009, 03:29 PM	#24
bengal_daddy Join Date: Sep 2009 Posts: 57	Re: I lost my job I have been unemployed for 18 months. I see it as both a blessing and a negative. It's been tough, but has given me the time to find the root causes of two mega-deep issues that I would never been able to do otherwise. How would I have had the time to sleep through withdrawal when it REALLY hits you? I'm not going to be a hypocrit and say get up and structure your day, cos I don't. But I do urge you to force yourself out and just go for a walk. I have no car now due to $$$, and so have to walk everywhere. This helps in its own way. It's like anything in life, you can look at it through "+ glasses" ot "- glasses". I am am very sorry to hear your news however, and COMPLETELY know how "SEVERE ANHEDONIA, anxiety, brain fog, inability to concentrate, impaired short term memory, trouble sleeping." - feels. Check check check, EVERY SINGLE ONE OF EM!! Its the reason I lost mine. I just wanted to shut my eyes and do nothing all day. The thought of ANY mental effort just exhausted me. I really do feel your pain. PLEASE try Zinc, and Magnesium if you havn't already. This helped tremendously with the above. Love, BD

12-08-2009, 04:55 PM	#25
Sparrow84 Join Date: Sep 2009 Posts: 111	Re: I lost my job I haven't been on PP in a few weeks, but I didn't want to forget to thank you, Pboy, Akaenew, and Bengal Daddy for your kind words and suggestions. I'm doing a little better now that I'm not working. I feel slightly less insane most of the time. I am sleeping really well, which actually became somewhat of a problem for a while--sleeping up to 18 hours a day, but I haven't been sleeping well for months so I guess I needed it, or maybe I'm just trying to escape. I go back and forth between the fight to go on and just praying that I won't wake up the next day. Now that I stopped working I have had time to actually look at my face (I wasn't showering for days while working--the only energy I had was put into surviving work), and I can see how this experience has aged me. I have lines in my face from crying that I didn't have before and huge rings under my eyes, not to mention the fact that I've broken out so badly that I look like I have the chicken pox. Not that looks are everything, it's just one more reason I wish this whole thing had never happened. Sorry for the rant. I'm having a very angry moment. Maybe I can put my energy into volunteering and less into anger soon. I hope everyone is doing well. __________________ Ritalin since age 6. Various AD's since 2000, mostly Prozac. MARCH 09: Adverse reaction to Lexapro (Prozac was probably still in system at the time I took it) resulting in worsened depression / anxiety. JULY 09: Seroquel 25 mg. Tried to reinstate Prozac 10 mg along with Klonopin .5 mg. Severe adverse reaction after two weeks. No choice but to CT. NOW: Drug free. SEVERE ANHEDONIA, anxiety, brain fog, inability to concentrate, impaired short term memory, trouble sleeping.

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